Chapter Thirty-Four
KIERAN
I can finally take a full breath the moment I carry Riley through the front door of Ronan’s house.
Her face is buried in my neck and her body limp in my arms from exhaustion.
She’s barely spoken a word on the drive over here, but that doesn’t surprise me. She’s been through hell and back, but it’s not over yet.
The cut on her arm looks bad, and I have no doubt that the stress she experienced hasn’t been good for the baby.
It still feels strange to think about the fact that there’s a life growing inside Riley that is half her, half me.
Already I feel this insane protectiveness toward it, and I have a feeling that’s only going to get worse. It makes me almost feel bad for taking the piss out of Ronan for being such a caveman around Ciara.
Almost.
My sister-in-law is waiting for us at the foot of the stairs when we arrive, one hand on her rounded belly, the other braced against the banister. She’s white as a sheet, but the second she sees Riley, she bursts into tears.
“Oh, god. Riley…”
“You should be in bed,” Ronan scolds as he pushes past me to get to his wife. “All of this excitement isn’t good for the babies.”
“They’ll live.” She swats at his chest as tears stream down her face. “I’ve been going out of my mind with worry.”
“I’m okay, Ciara, really,” Riley mumbles, though I know it’s a lie.
“You need to be checked over. Dr. Rogers is already here setting up his things in the lounge.”
Riley starts to shake her head, but I cut in before she can argue.
“No debate, little dove. That cut on your arm needs cleaning up.”
“Cut? What cut?” Ciara demands.
“You shouldn’t have said anything,” Riley mutters under her breath as Ciara scowls at me.
She follows closely behind me, or as close as her pregnant belly allows, as I bring Riley into the lounge and settle her on the couch.
“Mr. Sullivan,” Dr. Rogers greets with a somewhat clipped tone.
I can’t fault the guy for not being my biggest fan. After all, his only impression of me as a father so far is yelling at my pregnant wife and refusing to stand by her bedside while she had an ultrasound.
His eyes go to her. “How are you feeling, Riley?”
“Tired. And thirsty.”
“I’m going to hook you up with some fluids, which should make you feel a lot better.”
“Sounds good.” She leans back against the pillows as her eyes start to close.
Ciara stays beside Riley the whole time despite Ronan’s protests, keeping one hand resting lightly on Riley’s knee in silent support.
I perch on the back of the couch and gently stroke Riley’s cheek while Dr. Rogers works.
“She’s dehydrated,” he eventually says. “And is likely in mild shock. But the baby’s heartbeat is strong.”
At those words, Riley lets out a sob of relief as she looks up at me.
I force a smile, though I don’t feel like we’re out of the woods yet.
Maybe that’s just what it feels like to be a parent, having this constant nagging worry in the back of your mind. No wonder my father liked to drink so much.
“You’ll need lots of rest and to keep this wound clean and dry.” Dr. Rogers finishes wrapping a bandage around Riley’s arm. “It’ll leave a small scar, but it should fade over time.”
“Badass,” she mumbles, and I swallow a laugh.
“The real concern is exhaustion. You need food, warmth, and plenty of sleep.”
“She’ll have all of it,” I say before Riley can open her mouth.
“Riley, do you want me to stay with you for a bit?” Ciara asks gently, but Riley shakes her head.
“You should rest. You’re supposed to keep your blood pressure down. Plus, I don’t want Ronan to kill me.”
My brother huffs a laugh from where he hovers in the doorway, and I glance up.
For a moment, we lock eyes across the room and share a silent nod of understanding.
Ciara, Riley, and the three children who will soon join us, they are our number one priority. No matter what happens, we will always make sure they are safe.
Ciara hesitates, then leans over and presses a kiss to Riley’s forehead.
“You’re safe now, love. Don’t forget that.”
After Ronan finally manages to usher Ciara away, I scoop Riley into my arms and carry her upstairs to bed.
She murmurs something about being perfectly capable of walking, but I ignore her.
“You can yell at me later, little dove. Tonight, you don’t lift a finger.”
I settle Riley on the bed before heading into the ensuite bathroom where I run her a bath and pour in a handful of lavender bath salts. Soon enough, the room fills with steam that fogs up the mirror.
“You don’t have to do this,” Riley says.
I glance over my shoulder to find her hesitating in the doorway, looking so small and fragile that it makes my chest ache.
“I know.” I run my hand through the water to test the temperature. “But I need to. I’m determined to spend the rest of my life making things up to you, Riley.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“Yes, I do.” I get to my feet and cross over to her. “I owe you everything.”
Riley offers me a small smile as I lead her over to the tub.
Neither of us talks as I help her undress, but the moment she steps into the water and lowers herself down, I see the tension start to melt away from her body, which has my own shoulders relaxing.
“You know, I used to think baths were pointless.” I sit on the floor beside the tub with my hand resting on her lower belly. “Why would anyone want to lie around in dirty water?”
“And now?” Riley has the ghost of a smile on her lips.
“Now I think I would happily sit here all night if it meant you were safe.”
Riley’s eyes flutter closed as she leans back, letting the water come up to her chin.
I can’t take my eyes off of her, but if she feels me staring, she says nothing.
When the water finally starts to cool down, I help her out of the bath and get her tucked up in bed.
“I can’t believe you’re still here,” she says softly as I climb onto the bed and curl myself around her. “After everything.”
“Well, you better believe it because I’m not going anywhere,” I murmur into her hair. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
“The only thing I need is your arms around me until I fall asleep.”
“I can definitely do that.” I tighten my arms around her. “Anything else?”
“I want to know that you’ve forgiven me.”
The pain in her voice is unmistakable, and I hate that I was the one to cause it.
“Of course, I’ve forgiven you. Will you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. And I tried telling you, you know? Multiple times.”
“That’s okay, I understand.”
“No, you don’t. What I mean is I actually planned on telling you several times but always got interrupted before I could.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“The last time, the one where I had decided it was time I finally man up, was when I had my first morning sickness episode, and I knew I couldn’t hide it from you anymore.
That you would find out, eventually, and I wanted you to hear it from me.
I didn’t want to hide it anymore. So, I made you a special dinner.
I was waiting for dessert to tell you. I even told you I had something important to tell you. ”
Fuck. I remember that night. “That’s when one of our bars got attacked, wasn’t it? When you made the torte?”
She nods. “But like every time I tried to tell you, something happened to pull us away. It was like something didn’t want me to tell you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t stay and listen.”
“I understand. People had died. I couldn’t be selfish. There was so much happening, I knew you were swamped. I didn’t want to be another burden. And that was my mistake. So, I am truly sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, for making you think you were anything other than my first priority. But all is forgiven from me. Do you forgive me?”
“Again, there’s nothing to forgive.”
We lie there in the dark with Riley’s head resting against my chest, the silence no longer heavy but comfortable now.
I listen to her breathing as I try to work up the courage to tell her what’s been on my mind ever since I found out Sean had taken her.
“You know, I thought I had lost you for good. And I realized that was the first time in my life I have ever felt real fear. Not the kind that gets your heart pumping before a fight, that’s nothing in comparison to what I felt. Thinking you were gone, I felt…empty.”
Riley shifts in my arms so that she can look up at me.
“Kieran…”
“I realized you were gone after I went outside to apologize to you.” My voice cracks a little. “I was a coward, hiding behind my anger instead of owning my mistakes, and I came to my senses too late.”
Riley’s eyes shine with tears as she looks at me.
“You came outside?”
“Much later than I should have, but yeah. I read your letter, and I wanted to talk things over. But…”
Riley starts to cry.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
She wipes her eyes. “Nothing bad. But you have no idea how much it means to me that you came outside at all.”
I reach out to wipe my thumb over her cheek.
“You mean everything to me, little dove, and so does our baby.”
Riley moves to rest her head on my chest, and I listen to the sound of her breathing slow until she finally falls asleep.
Even then, I hold her a while longer, watching the rise and fall of her chest.
My body aches with exhaustion, but my mind won’t stop racing with images of her chained up and terrified. It keeps looping behind my eyes like some sick nightmare that I can’t escape.
I need to clear my head and maybe take a shower myself, so I press a kiss to her forehead, slip out of bed, and head downstairs.
The low hum of conversation pulls me toward the kitchen where I find Ronan sitting at the table with his phone pressed to his ear and a half-drunk mug of coffee in front of him.
His expression is grim as he scribbles something in the notebook in front of him, but the moment he ends the call, he pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a string of curses.
I slide into the seat across from him. “Everything okay?”
“I’m not sure.” He slides the notebook toward me.
“What’s this?”
“One of my contacts says Cormac’s being held here.”