26. Dagon
Chapter twenty-six
Dagon
Iheld him for a long moment. Just held him. His heartbeat against my chest. His hands fisted in the back of my hair. The taste of him still on my mouth. The kiss he had given me with the taste of demon blood on my lips.
He had kissed me.
He had run toward me, not away.
I wasn't ready to believe it yet. I wasn't sure I would ever be ready to believe it. But the body in my arms was Di's, and the body in my arms was not letting go. So for now, for this one moment, I let myself feel it.
Then the worry came back. It always came back when it was about Diablos.
I reluctantly let go of him and looked him over.
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
My heart thundered with horror at the thought of him being hurt.
When I was going after that demon and turned to see Di on the ground with another demon close to him, I almost lost my mind.
The sight of the blood on his arm had sent me into a rage, ready to storm to Hell and tear that demon apart all over again.
I gently touched the scratch on his arm. It wasn’t serious, but the worry still gnawed at me.
“You got stabbed and you’re worried about this little scrape?” Di looked genuinely confused, but when he saw the concern in my eyes, he sighed and said, “I’m fine. I only almost had a heart attack watching you get stabbed. Meaning, if you want me to be okay, don’t get hurt again.”
His body trembled, and I realized then how frightened he was. Not because of the demons. Not because I was a demon. He was terrified of losing me. He was terrified he almost lost me. But he didn’t know that a little stab wouldn’t kill me.
Tugging him toward me, I whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Di. I won’t let anyone hurt us again.”
He nodded, burying his head in my neck.
I couldn’t believe his reaction. All those years, I'd dreaded him finding out the truth. I never imagined this would be his reaction. I thought he'd hate me, be afraid, and run away. But here he was, trusting me. Trusting that I wouldn't hurt him, even though I was a demon.
He accepted me. And he didn’t leave.
Hell, what had I done to deserve this man? I damn well knew I didn’t deserve him. But I fought it for so fucking long. I couldn’t do it anymore. If that made me a selfish demon, then so be it.
“Can we go? I want to leave this place,” he shuddered.
Kissing his forehead, I murmured, “Of course. Let’s get out of here.”
I turned to Blue, reaching out with a hand, “Blue, come here.”
Blue swished his tail and flew to me. He perched on my shoulder, his power unmistakable. Blue wasn't a pet. He was a part of me. He came when I called, and protected what was mine.
His body blurred and dissolved into smoke as he reached my hand. When I turned to Diablos, I saw him staring at my hand with his mouth open, his eyes wide.
“What? How?”
I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him, saying, "The little thing, as you named him, is Blue. He's my familiar, and a dragon. He appears when I call, and when I need him. There is no need to worry about him."
“I’m not worried about him. I’m worried that Blue scrambled to your fingertips, turned into smoke, and disappeared inside you.”
Wrinkling my nose, I said, “He isn’t inside me.”
“Where is he then?”
“Well, he merged with my soul. Saying he’s inside me is weird as fuck.”
“Oh, so saying he merged with your soul is not weird at all?”
“No?”
Diablos groaned before storming to the driver’s seat. “Let’s leave this damn place, and then you, mister, are going to tell me everything.”
I shifted back quickly, the process taking me less than a second. Di was stunned and speechless again. I was still hesitant about touching him. It was written all over my face but he kissed my cheek reassuringly once we were in the car.
I was worried that once I let my powers free, I wouldn’t be able to control them.
I feared I would succumb to the darkness and the urge to destroy everything around me.
Quickly, I realized Diablos was my anchor, bringing me back from the edge, into his orbit.
Of course, the demon inside me was still eager to unleash Hell, but the same demon was content with just being close to Diablos. That was enough for me.
Di gave me clothes to change. I tried to remove the blood from my face and hands with wet tissues. I didn’t know where we were going, but I was too tired to ask. He held my hand in a death grip and drove with the other. My eyes grew heavy, and I closed them for a bit.
When I woke up, we were in the parking lot of a hotel in the mountains. Di looked at me with the same concern as before. I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over to kiss him.
“Let’s get a room and get you cleaned up. Wait for me here. I’ll get us a room and come back for you,” he said.
“Okay.”
I was exhausted and didn’t argue. I followed Di with my eyes, not letting him out of sight. Luckily, the reception desk was visible through the glass doors. It didn’t take long before he came back, grabbing our luggage from the back seat, and we headed to the second floor.
The room was nice, but I didn’t care about the decor. All I needed was Di. He ushered me into the bathroom, and I removed my clothes. There was blood on my shoulders, my stomach, and even my feet.
“I’ll take care of this. There is no need for you to-”
“Stop.” He glared at me and started undressing. “Get under the shower.”
I did as I was told. Diablos washed his hands first. He poured a generous amount of shower gel and washed my whole body.
Goosebumps erupted on every part his hands touched.
Now that I had my powers back, my senses were heightened.
His hands danced like flames over my skin, marking me, claiming me, showing me who exactly Diablos was.
After Di finished with me, I reached out for the shower gel and did the same for him. We stood under the water for longer than necessary, both needing this moment to reassure each other that we were alive.
When we got out of the shower, we put on some sweatpants, didn’t bother with shirts, and sat on the bed. Di reached for my stomach and traced the place where the wound used to be. Now, there was nothing. He looked both concerned and relieved.
“I guess it’s time for me to tell you everything.”
I knew I should, but I couldn’t help fearing the possibility of everything changing after he heard my story.
“It’s okay. I want to hear everything, but I’ll understand if you’re not ready to talk.”
“No, I need to tell you everything. I’ll start from the beginning.”
He nodded and settled closer to me.
With his hand in mine, I started my story.
“I was born a demon. As King said, there are five demon clans. I was born into the Starborn clan, and I used to…” My words trailed off as my breathing quickened.
My throat dried, and my body shook, but I had to say it out loud. I had to. “I used to have a brother.”
Diablos’s sharp inhale was the only indication he heard me. My ears rang, and my mind was flooded with memories – precious ones and ones that had haunted me for years.
Di gave me space. I stared at our joined hands and let his touch be the pillar I needed while I traveled back to the darkest night of my life.
“I used to live in the underworld. It’s kind of funny now that I think about it. People imagine the underworld as a bad place. And it is. But it was also my home for thirteen years. When I was thirteen, my parents were killed. Rogue Starborns attacked us. I didn’t know why. I still don’t know.”
I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the pain.
“When our parents were killed, we ran. Two demons chased us, but they were stronger. One tried to cut my wings into pieces. When he saw it wasn’t working, he started trying to cut my flesh around them.”
“That’s how you got the scars on your back?” Di couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice. When I saw the tears falling, I wiped them away.
“Yes. It doesn’t hurt anymore. The only reason the scars remained was because of the knife he used. Otherwise, it would have all healed. My powers prevented him from damaging my wings but couldn’t protect my skin.”
The next part was going to be the hardest. I’d never spoken with anyone about it. No one knew.
“By some miracle, a demon who we saw as a friend came and saved us. He was one of the strongest Starborns. He could manipulate demons’ powers. He could take them away during a fight, give strength, or conceal the powers of a demon."
"He wanted to conceal our powers, claiming the demons could sense them. But to do so, he had to seal them. He told us where to go once we left Hell and that we’d meet there.
We were almost outside. Almost…” My voice broke, “but a powerful demon with an enchanted knife came out of nowhere and killed my brother.”
I choked on the last sentence. The empty eyes of my brother stared at me. All the blood spilled, his heart no longer beating. The promise he asked me to make, the promise I kept.
“Dagon,” Di’s voice pulled me from my memories. My name came out gently from his lips.
I saw tears falling down his cheeks. Even though my heart was bleeding, I couldn’t cry.
I hadn’t cried since I lost my brother and then when I saw Di in that hospital.
It seemed like no matter how I felt, my tears were frozen.
I could see all the pain inside me reflected in Di's eyes. He was searching my gaze for something. What? I wasn’t sure.
Suddenly, he climbed into my lap and grabbed my head, holding it with two hands.
Looking straight into my eyes, he said softly, “I can't imagine what that loss must have felt like, Dagon. It wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid. I'm so sorry.”
"I was powerful, Di. I am powerful. And I couldn't save my brother. It was my fault. If only I had insisted on not sealing my powers. If only I had seen the demon coming and unleashed them before he got to my brother…"
“You did all you could. Both of you were kids running for your lives.” His lips trembled as he said, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Dagon.”
My throat tightened. His words broke me, and that was when it all came rushing to the surface. The tears I'd been holding in for years. It felt like they had a life of their own.
As I stared into Di’s green eyes full of so much love and pain, I found the power within me to say, “He was my little brother, Di. My little brother…”
And then I fell apart in his arms.
I shattered repeatedly as all the pain ricocheted inside me.
I hadn't allowed myself to feel the pain after he died.
I made a promise to him, and I kept it. He asked me not to unleash my powers back then.
His last words. And so I kept that promise as if it was the last connection to me with him. Today I broke it.
I know he didn't mean for me to keep my powers locked for too long, only until I was safe. But I held onto that promise, held onto him, even though he was gone. Not once did I feel safe enough to feel the real pain of him being gone. But now I was safe. I was safe in Diablos’s embrace, and everything I'd suppressed for so long barreled into me like a tidal wave.
Diablos held me through the shaking of my body, through the gut-wrenching sobs I couldn’t stop. I wrapped him in my arms, needing him to anchor me. Too afraid I would get swallowed by the horrors of my past and never return.
Fuck, how I missed my brother. His playful smile, the sparkle in those eyes when he was preparing to cause trouble. All the nights we would sneak out, wander around. The two of us, always, the two of us against the world.
The pain in my chest could never be explained with words. That night, I lost a part of myself. A part that I’ll forever miss.
I don’t know how long I cried. When I started to sense things around me, I felt the gentle caress of Di’s hand over my back. He was rocking me slowly. I closed my eyes, soaking in his support, letting it soothe me.
“Di,” I whispered with a raw voice.
He pulled back but didn’t let go of me. His eyes were red, his cheeks still wet. I opened my mouth to say something, but he silenced me with a peck to my lips and a kiss to my forehead.
“Let’s lie down.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
He embraced me as I closed my eyes, hoping I’d remember the good times with my brother instead of the end.
“You’re safe here. You’re safe to feel,” Di whispered, before another tender kiss to my cheek.
The gentleness in his voice and touch made more tears fall. This time, it was because I felt his love in a way I'd never felt before.
I couldn't save my brother, and that would haunt me for an eternity. But I won't make the same mistake with Diablos.
I would always protect him.
He was my life, my everything.
Now that I had my powers back, I could keep him safe. And I would. Be it from Hell or Heaven, I would face it all and destroy it if it meant keeping him safe.
Diablos was mine to protect, mine to love.
Now that he knew I was a demon, I would make it clear that the extent to which I would go for him had no limit.