Epilogue
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see," Dagon said.
"That's all you've kept repeating since we left the apartment."
"And that's all you'll get till we're there."
I pouted while Dagon smirked at me. I could think of one or two ways to wipe that smirk off his face. A kiss? A caress on his neck? A swing in my walk? So many choices.
Honestly though? I was excited.
It was my birthday. Dagon woke me with breakfast in bed. When I asked why he wasn't eating, he said he would have another breakfast. I was confused, not for long. I had pancakes, but Dagon feasted on my cock and body.
We spent the day reading on the couch, meeting with our family, and now there was a surprise.
A lot has changed in our lives. There had been no demon attacks for the past three months, but we knew this wasn't the end. Still, Christmas was approaching, and we all decided to focus on the holiday and simply enjoy the moment.
Dagon and I were also doing better than ever.
Better was the word my therapist asked me to interrogate when I used it.
She said it could mean too many things. So I learned to be more precise.
Better this past year meant: I had spiraled fifty times that I had counted and not hidden a single one.
I had told Dagon I needed space at least once a month, after a difficult session.
I had told him I needed to be held more times than I can count.
I had told him I didn't know what I needed sometimes, and he had said that's okay, we'll wait it out together every time without flinching.
Better meant I had let myself be loved through the days I would have once spent locked in a bathroom or my room.
Better for Dagon meant he had laughed in front of his brothers more in this year than in the previous fifteen combined.
He had cried with Bren once, without trying to hide it.
He had let Andras hug him at the door without making it into a joke first. He had taken his wings out in the apartment one evening just because Luc asked.
He had become the demon he had always been, and he had let his family see him.
Better meant we were us. Not the version of us who pretended. The actual us. The one who fought and made up and laughed at midnight and held each other through nightmares and chose each other every morning before either of us was fully awake.
Together, we were ourselves.
It took time, and like any relationship, we had our ups and downs, but little by little we figured out who we were – mates who had a bond that exceeded what words could describe, partners who were there for each other, encouraging, cheering, loving, and supporting, a family thriving in love, light, and darkness. This is who we are.
The road wasn't easy. I was learning how to face my past and slowly heal from the pain inflicted by my biological father and uncle. Dagon was learning how to let himself feel the pain of losing his brother. We had many nights when all we could do was hold onto each other as we fell apart.
Nightmares of almost losing each other also haunted us. That was probably why we became even more protective and maybe a bit clingy, not that either of us minded, we loved it.
King… things with him were complicated. That's why I don't want to think about him right now.
Andras called every few days and came for dinner every Friday. Luc had finished his exams. Wild still worried about all of us.
And Bren.
Bren was still hiding something. He was good at it. He had gotten better at it, and even more careful about which version of himself he showed the family. Dagon and I drank coffee at the shop near his apartment twice a week and pretended we were there for the espresso. He knew. He always knew.
Whatever it was, it was still moving. The shape of it was getting bigger.
We were going to find out eventually. We always did.
I remember a year ago, I said the stars were bound to the night, and I was bound to the darkness inside. But now, my life wasn't a subsistence stuck between an altered mind and a confined heart. My heart was free, beating wildly with self-love and love for Dagon.
My black, red, and golden colors hadn't changed, but my perspective had, and that made all the difference.
In the past, I feared my intrusive thoughts and compulsions would push Dagon away. I felt broken, chained, wrong.
One time my psychologist asked me what my OCD was like and I answered, "It's like living many lives and dying numerous more times.
My mind – a paradox of the greatest kind.
Whenever intrusive thoughts about harm coming to people I love appear, or fears that I'll somehow hurt them, a part of me shatters and dies.
It's like my mind convinces me I want the worst, and then I die a little with the pain that overwhelms me.
OCD, for me, is the one thing that destroys my heart and soul – an endless battle bringing only darkness in my life. "
This was how I described it then. These things were still true, but instead of dying every day, I was learning how to live. I was embracing parts of myself I'd rejected long ago, learning how to love myself instead of bullying myself.
There might be little deaths every day, but there are births, too. For I knew I wasn't my mind and intrusive thoughts. I wasn't defined by them.
The love I felt toward my family and Dagon was at the core of my heart. Regardless of what my mind tried to convince me, I knew my love burned brighter, that it was real and what mattered most.
Many times life felt shaky and uncertain. Still, one thing remained steady, and that was Dagon and me. Our life wasn't just battles. It was filled with gentle moments spent in each other's embrace, heated possessiveness, sweet moments of love, tenderness, laughter, and so much more.
Dagon also came a long way. He was still the same Dagon – a bit moody, often glaring, guarded, but he'd opened to our brothers.
I was proud when he announced he would quit his job and take time to decide what he wanted.
History used to be his passion because it was predictable, something to hold onto when everything felt uncertain.
When I mentioned majoring in History, Dagon said it didn't feel right anymore.
I was also figuring out what I wanted to do after graduation.
Both of us were on a path to finding answers, and I had no doubt we would.
I returned my attention to the present. Dagon wore a black sweater, of course, but I convinced him to wear the dark blue jacket I bought for him. Damn, he was hot. I couldn't wait to get home and frantically strip off his clothes. Patience was never my strength.
He parked the car, and I looked around, curious.
"Come on, love."
We got out, and he took my hand. Walking hand in hand was a dream come true, even after all this time. I'd forever be grateful to have Dagon in my life and by my side.
He led me around a corner, and my jaw dropped when I saw where he was taking me. "A bookstore?"
"You said a perfect boyfriend would take you to a bookstore and let you buy all the books you want. You called it a bookstore date, right?"
Grinning like a fool, I threw myself at him right there on the busy street. "Hell, I love you so much."
Laughing, he wrapped his hands around me and kissed my forehead. "I love you too."
"You know we will need at least two hours here, right?"
"I'm perfectly aware. I also had something else in mind."
"What?"
"We could buy that series you gushed about for weeks and have reading dates during the holidays."
"Reading dates?" I swooned. "Fuck, yes! Let's goooo." I practically dragged him into the bookstore. The smile never left my face, and my heart felt full.
Inside, I headed straight for the LGBTQ+ section. This bookstore was newly opened, and though I hadn't visited yet, I'd seen online they had an indie authors' section. Exactly as predicted, we spent two hours there. I struggled to choose, but eventually Dagon bought all the books I wanted.
Two hours, countless discussions about books, and fifty books later, we left with a promise to the shy owner that we'd return.
The sun had set, and the moon and stars were shining. We looked up at the starry sky, and I smiled at the Starborn demon beside me, my demon. The stars held so much meaning now, and Dagon meant everything. Dagon was the brightest star in my otherwise tenebrous sky, and I was the star bound to him.
Thanks to this man, I'd realized I had light inside me.
In the past, the light felt bound to the darkness, forever doomed to be engulfed, suffocated, and overpowered by it.
Not anymore. Now, all of me was bound to this demon, and we embraced our darkness.
In doing so, the chains around my light shattered, and we discovered both could exist together.
Bound starlight. That was what we were now. Not stars chained to the dark. Stars that had chosen each other and let the dark be part of the bond instead of a thing to escape from. We were bound – to the stars, to the dark, to each other – and the binding wasn't a cage.
It was the thing that finally made us free.
"Forever, beyond the stars and time, I'll love you. You're the most precious gift of my life," Dagon said softly, his eyes flaming purple.
"Forever, I'll love every part of you and us. Beyond the stars and in every moment, always the two of us. You're my everything, Dagon," I replied, the same love reflected in my eyes and heart.
The End;