Chapter Fourteen #2
She drew a shaky breath that made his heart clench, for what she hadn’t said was as clear as what she had. She hadn’t been accepted, wasn’t truly one of them.
‘You said no?’
‘I packed a bag and took the first flight out. I needed to think. If I didn’t do what he wanted, it would end my career in the family business, and my relationship with my family.’
His hand found hers across the table. The thought of Stella with Barbieri iced his blood. Grappling with that ultimatum then running into Gio, only to be suspected of spying…
‘I’m sorry, Stella. For my actions and suspicions. You had enough to deal with without that.’
The hint of a smile teased her lips. ‘Thank you. At least I understand why now. Because you’d already had dealings with my father.’
Her fingers tightened around his. ‘My time with you made me see how mistaken I’d been, hoping he’d change. He’d always put his own interests first. I returned to Sicily determined not to live like that any more.
‘When I discovered I was pregnant, I knew I had to make a complete break. I couldn’t let my child be raised under his influence.’
Her expression hardened. ‘I didn’t know until you told me what my father was truly capable of, but I knew enough to fear his actions if thwarted.
I planned to get a job elsewhere. But I also knew it would be tough.
I’ve got virtually no savings because I’ve never been properly paid.
I’ve got few friends who’d stand by me because he did his best to isolate me. ’
Gio frowned. ‘Marrying a rich banker was a way out?’ Stella moved to pull her hand free but he held it. ‘I’m not judging, just trying to understand.’
She huffed out a breath. ‘I met Eduardo as a courtesy, to tell him I didn’t want marriage. It turned out he wasn’t keen either. The idea had been hatched by others who wanted him to settle down before he took over the family company. Unexpectedly we found we liked each other.’
Stella looked towards the glittering lake. Gio disliked the feeling of being excluded. But then she turned back, her open expression drawing him in.
‘We met several times. As friends. Eduardo is a good listener and I needed that.’
It was a gut punch. Gio wanted to be the one she’d shared with, the one she turned to.
‘So when, later, he suggested marriage, I reconsidered. He had his own reasons to want marriage. For my part I knew he and his family had the power to keep my father at bay. My baby would be safe.’
And Stella would be safe from her father’s temper. It made sense yet Gio’s skin crawled as she spoke about marrying Morosi.
‘You’d have been happy with such an arrangement?’ He growled. ‘Did he know about the child?’
He knew why Morosi had proposed. He’d get Stella and his family’s bank. Money, power and a remarkable, gorgeous woman.
Stella nodded. ‘He was happy to be a father.’
Over Gio’s dead body! The idea made him see red. But before he could say more she continued.
‘At the time I saw it working. I like and trust him. He’d do his best by me and the baby.’ Each word was an arrow to Gio’s chest as she freed her hand. ‘But no, long-term it wouldn’t work.’
‘Why not, if he’s such a paragon?’
Stella heard the edge in Gio’s voice and wondered if that was jealousy.
Yet he’d never admitted to more than wanting her physically. Even going so far as to destroy her wedding, his explanation was urgent need, the physical, not emotional.
She stiffened her determination. There was no point being coy. Better that they both knew where they stood.
‘I realised I wanted more than a convenient marriage. That’s why I ran from my father’s proposition.’ She looked at the white linen tablecloth then to the magnificent view. ‘After my mother died, I bent over backwards to meet his expectations. Because I craved what I’d had with my mother. Love.’
Without turning, she sensed Gio tense. She was so attuned she felt his discomfort. Something inside crumbled at his reaction but she continued.
‘I want a partner who loves me and my child, whom I love in return. It’s that simple and that big.’ She swung her head around and met a shadowed stare. ‘You must understand. It sounds like you had that with your family. You know how precious, how vital, love is.’
But instead of assenting, Gio looked almost dismayed. Not what she’d hoped for.
After a long silence, he spoke, his tone bleak. ‘It’s what most people want. But…’ his eyes were stormy ‘…not me. I can’t offer you that. I wish I could.’
His words were missiles.
‘I don’t expect anything from you.’
It was a pride-saving lie. She’d hoped he felt more than lust. Surely the connection between them, the truths they’d shared and sense of rightness when they were together, meant something to him.
Because they did to her. She’d fallen hard and fast for Gio, even when knowing it was a short-term fling. Then, when he’d hijacked her wedding, stupid hopes had risen. When they’d shared raw truths about themselves she’d felt his emotional response.
Felt or fantasised?
‘I’ll support you and the baby. I’ll be a bulwark against your father. I won’t let him bother you again. But I can’t pretend to want love.’
His stare burned like molten metal. ‘You can count on me. But that’s one thing I can’t give you. You know my history. What happened killed something inside me. I don’t trust love. I haven’t been capable of it since I learnt how it destroys.’
Gio was thinking of his father who’d rejected him in favour of all-consuming revenge. Despite her pain, sympathy welled for this earnest man who believed love was something terrible.
‘I know my limits. I’m the product of a flawed father who put his misery ahead of what was left of his family.’ The stark pain etching Gio’s face stopped her breath. ‘It would be a mistake thinking I’d ever make a good parent. I can’t risk letting my child down like that.’
Stella wanted to insist he never would. Gio wasn’t his father. Anyone could see how profoundly his father’s behaviour had affected him. But Gio was adamant. He believed every word he said.
‘So what exactly do you want, Gio?’ She clasped her hands in her lap. ‘Sex? You don’t want a meaningful relationship, with me or our baby. You don’t want to marry me.’ Her voice wavered but she pushed on. ‘Just tell me.’
Instead of being annoyed, he looked strained. ‘It’s not that I don’t want, it’s that I can’t.’
His stare burned. ‘What do I want? I want you and our child safe and happy. I’ll do everything it takes to provide for you both and keep you safe, when you decide where you want to go.
And yes, I’m selfish.’ His eyes turned searing silver.
‘I want you. More than I’ve wanted any woman.
I want you to stay with me, for as long as this passion lasts. ’
He wanted her.
Despite everything, her body softened as if preparing for his possession. Because, despite needing more than sex, she desired him with every fibre of her being.
Worse, her heart ached, not only for herself but for him. For the self-doubt that had seeded and grown in his psyche. For the damage his father and hers had done to a little boy who’d become a flawed but essentially good man.
She wanted to be furious with Gio. To cut him off without a backward glance, because she wouldn’t settle for less than her dream of love.
Her hands shook with the force of devastating emotion as she rose and moved to the window, fixing her gaze on the bright gleam of sunlit water.
Gio’s words weren’t what she wanted to hear but they made her confront her feelings. Including the yearning for him that she’d already labelled self-destructive.
She drew a rough breath. Her father called her obstinate. It turned out she was. She could no more give up on Gio than swim back to Australia.
She recalled her mother talking about her own parents falling instantly in love. Stella’s grandfather had proposed in a week and they’d married within a few months, living the rest of their lives together.
Was that what Stella’s mum had felt when she met Alfredo Barbieri? Had she tumbled into love only to discover she’d fallen for a dangerous man incapable of caring for anyone?
‘Stella? What are you thinking?’ Gio’s words feathered her neck. He stood so close behind her she felt his heat. She shut her eyes, fighting the need to turn into his arms.
You don’t want to know what I’m thinking.
She really was in love with Gio Valenti.
Staying with him longer was probably a recipe for pain. Yet leaving was unthinkable. Not simply because she craved his company and his lovemaking. If she left now she’d never have a chance to convince him love needn’t be poison. She, her baby, and Gio, would miss out on something precious.
Was she willing to risk herself a little longer in hopes of a miracle?
She spoke through stiff lips. ‘I’m thinking I’ll stay.’