Chapter Fifteen #2
It would have been almost funny, having two men at opposite ends of the spectrum in her life. Except it was horrible. She stifled a sob. She’d let her friend Eduardo down and she’d let herself down, swept up in her feelings for Gio when this couldn’t end well.
She owed it to her child and herself not to become a martyr to a man who could never give them what they needed.
A tall figure stepped in front of her, gaze boring into hers. ‘You can’t—’
‘It’s time I left.’ Her voice sounded strangled but she’d finally got the words out.
‘No! You don’t want to marry him. He can’t make you happy.’
Months ago she’d have snapped that Gio had no idea what made her happy.
Today she was too desolate for anger. She’d feared this day would come, when she’d have to face facts.
Love him as she might, staying with Gio was breaking her apart because he was right, he couldn’t give her what she craved.
She needed to be whole for her child’s sake.
She was about to say she wasn’t marrying Eduardo when strong hands gripped hers. ‘Marry me instead.’
‘Sorry?’ Surely she’d imagined those words.
‘You want stability. Marry me. We’re having a baby together. I’ll look after you both.’
Stella searched his face. His dark eyebrows arrowed down in a frown. His jaw was set, his mouth tight and his eyes glittered with a hard light.
Like a man who’d screwed up his courage to do something he loathed. Gio had vowed to protect her. He felt an obligation to their child. So though he shunned the idea of love, he’d give them his name and support.
But there’d be no love, not from him. They’d probably lead separate lives once the first flush of passion died.
She didn’t need the support he offered.
Stella yanked her hands free and stepped back. ‘I can look after myself and my baby.’
She was capable. She’d get by. Maybe she’d go to Australia, far from her interfering father, and start over again.
‘It’s our baby, Stella.’ Gio stood tall, shoulders thrust back and hands in his pockets. ‘You wouldn’t deny me access.’
She scowled, folding her arms. ‘Since when did you want access? You’ve said you’re not cut out to be a father. You don’t want to be a father.’
He would have spoken but she hurried on. ‘I know what it’s like to live with a parent who can’t give love. It’s poison, Gio. You know it too. Why would you want to inflict that on my baby?’
She withdrew another step, one hand protectively over her abdomen.
‘I like you, Gio.’ Like! A bitter laugh curled her lips but she refused to let it escape.
‘I know you don’t choose to be this way.
I don’t blame you.’ At least she tried not to.
‘But I want a partner who loves me and my child. That’s not negotiable. ’
‘Morosi won’t give you that, whatever he says,’ Gio hissed through clenched teeth. ‘If he loved you he’d have followed you instantly, not waited a month. Can’t you see?’
‘This has nothing to do with Eduardo!’ She shook her head. ‘He’s a friend. This is about me and my baby and what we need.’
‘Me.’ Gio pulled his hands from his pockets and moved closer. ‘Our baby needs its father. I should be there for it. I want to be there.’
Stella looked into that scorching gaze and felt her determination tremble. Distress welled. She’d known it would be hard to leave Gio but this tore her heart out.
‘And I want to be there for you, Stella. I want to be with you.’
He raked his fingers through his hair and something bright fluttered to the ground. She barely noticed. She was transfixed by his expression, as tortured as she felt.
‘I love you, Stella.’
Her throat constricted so it felt like glass shards shredding her throat. ‘Don’t say that. Don’t lie, Gio.’
She’d thought the pain couldn’t get worse but to hear him lie made a mockery of everything they’d shared. She’d told herself while he didn’t love her, he was honest, caring in his own way. To have him play on her emotions…
‘Don’t look at me like that, Stella. It’s true. I should have realised long ago but it’s hard to move past things you’ve believed most of your life. I didn’t think I could feel love, but I do.’
He held his arms out towards her, palms up in a gesture of openness. ‘I can’t imagine life without you, Stella. I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives, raising a family—’
‘Stop!’ She lifted her hand when he would have stepped closer. ‘There’s no need to pretend to a convenient change of heart. If you seriously want to be involved in our child’s life, I won’t stand in the way. But no more acting.’
She couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t know she was in love with him. He wouldn’t treat her so cruelly if he knew. All she had to do was get out of here before she betrayed herself.
Gio surveyed her with haunted eyes, his mouth a flat line, and it was tempting to read her own emotions in his taut features.
But she’d spent too long hoping for a miracle.
For the man whose emotional growth had been so damaged to move beyond old grief and love her.
Their time together had been wonderful and she’d drawn closer to him with every passing day, her feelings intensifying and her need too.
But while Gio was attentive, charming and passionate, he’d never hinted that his feelings had changed. Until now.
‘It’s not an act and there’s nothing convenient about this.’
His voice was strained as if he really were upset but Stella couldn’t listen to any more. Heart hammering, she stepped around him, only to pull up sharply.
‘What’s that?’
Stella frowned at the ground, toeing the object with her sandal.
‘Please believe me, Stella. I mean what I say…’
The rest was lost as a loud static buzz filled her ears. It couldn’t be. It was preposterous. Yet she felt emotion well, turning pain and disbelief into something new.
‘Gio?’ She pointed at the crumpled item near her foot.
For several heartbeats there was silence, then they bent at the same time, heads almost colliding as they reached for it. Stella got it first, Gio’s fingers brushing hers as she cupped it tenderly in one trembling hand.
Her eyes bulged and her poor, overworked lungs battled to draw in air.
She couldn’t believe it. But when she straightened and looked up into deep, grey eyes, what she saw told her there was no mistake. The tremble became a quiver so profound she almost dropped what she held.
Her voice wasn’t her own as she said, ‘Why do you have this?’ She watched the muscles in his throat work as he swallowed. ‘It’s the one I made, isn’t it?’
‘It is.’
Wonderingly Stella looked at the item in her hand.
A crushed but still identifiable waterlily made of red paper.
She’d created it from a table napkin the day they ventured out from his Amalfi estate to a clifftop restaurant, then left swiftly because their desire for each other was stronger than their hunger for food. She’d been in seventh heaven that day.
The crumpled origami flower fell from nerveless fingers but Gio caught it, cupping it gently in his big palm as if it were infinitely precious.
She raised dazed eyes to his and met a blast of pure longing. ‘Why?’
‘On a whim. It was fascinating, watching you. When we left I scooped it up and put it in my pocket.’
‘All this time you didn’t know you had it?’
‘I knew. When I thought you were working for your father I meant to throw it away. Somehow I never did.’ Gio’s lips curved wryly. ‘For the last month it’s been in my desk drawer.’
Stella gaped. ‘But why?’
He moved until there was no space between them. His body warmed her, his breath caressing her face.
‘That week at the Villa Rosa was unlike anything I’d shared with anyone. I couldn’t explain the impulse to keep a memento, apart from the fact that you fascinated me. For a while I convinced myself it was a reminder not to be taken in by plausible lies, but it wasn’t true.’
Gio took her hand, threading their fingers, and she let him.
‘All through our separation I missed you, Stella. I tried not to but it was impossible. I couldn’t get you out of my mind until we sated our passion for each other.
But since you came here I’ve learnt it’s more than that.
I feel so much more, but it’s taken me a long time to realise what that means.
I was scared to confront the truth. It’s not just sex I want from you, Stella. It’s love.’
He paused and his chest rose mightily. In her own chest, her heart raced as never before.
‘I love you with all my stubborn, flawed heart. I’ll do anything to make you happy. Just don’t ask me to let you go.’
She opened her mouth but was too overwhelmed to speak because there was no question the man before her was utterly genuine. He meant what he said.
No one other than a man besotted would treasure a worn paper flower.
‘I want us to be a family,’ he went on. ‘I’m nervous about being a good father, but no man will ever try harder than I will.’
Her heart ached for the doubt in his, the belief he was flawed because of his father.
‘You’ll make a wonderful father. I know you will.’
‘Stella?’
She blinked back, heat glazing her vision. ‘Our baby will be so lucky to have you. To have both of us.’
Gio lashed his arm around her, pulling her in. ‘You’ll have me?’ His voice was a mix of disbelief and triumph.
‘Of course. I’ve loved you so long. How could I refuse?’
His gaze was jubilant but his mouth was grim. ‘You love me?’ She nodded and his embrace tightened. ‘You loved me through all my doubts?’ She saw him take that in. ‘I’m sorry for hurting you, my darling. You deserved better.’
Stella put her hands on his chest, feeling the quickened thud of his heart. It raced like her own, but it was strong like him. She knew with absolute certainty she could trust Gio with her love, and her life. Suddenly the world was incandescently bright.
‘That’s in the past, Gio. We both made mistakes. My mum used to say that’s how we learn.’
‘In that case, I’m learning a lot about relationships, especially love.’ His smile dimmed a little. ‘I could make more mistakes. This is new to me.’
‘And to me.’
After a wondering moment, his smile returned, confident and irresistible, and her heart sang. ‘We’ll learn together, make our mistakes together and pick each other up when we need to.’
Those weren’t the words of someone who took love for granted or thought building a life together was easy. They came from a man who knew the future held challenges as well as celebrations. Who’d faced demons and moved on. A man determined to build happiness.
Stella was thrilled and humbled to love such a man and have him love her too. ‘That sounds perfect.’
‘It does, doesn’t it?’
He swept her into his arms, lifting her so she nestled against his hard chest.
‘What are you doing?’
He bent his head to feather kisses across her forehead, her nose and mouth. Their lips clung and familiar, fiery heat ignited.
His gaze, when he lifted his head and carried her indoors, turned her insides molten. ‘Practising. I want to be good at making you happy.’
‘You already do that.’ She sounded breathless.
‘And you make me happy. I can’t tell you how much.’
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to their bedroom. ‘You don’t have to tell me, I understand.’
Because no woman in the world was happier than she.