2. Carmie
Chapter 2
Carmie
I just stabbed him in the chest with my sex toy.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I say quickly, snatching it away. I jam it back into my bag, but he’s looking at me with fire in his eyes.
“Was that what I think it was?”
“I can explain.”
“Do you walk around with a vibrator in your purse?”
“Not usually.”
“But tonight you are.”
“Can we just pretend that didn’t happen?” I’m so mortified I can barely breathe.
A second ago, I felt like a warrior.
I was deeply alive and in control.
Now I’m back to being regular old, frustrated Carmie.
He steps closer. The distance between us flattens. I want to run, but he doesn’t seem upset. Amused, maybe a little turned on even, which is terrifying and exciting. The moment teeters between us, and this can topple either way.
Either total disaster or exactly what I wanted from tonight.
“Show it to me again.” It’s a command, and behind that command is a whole slew of filthy, carnal promises. But only if I’m willing to obey. It’s a pact, those easy little words, and a magic spell. It means all I have to do is play along, and tonight will take a turn. Where it’ll go, I can’t say exactly, but I know this is the closest I’ve ever come to totally losing myself.
I open my mouth to refuse him, because that’s who I’ve always been—good to a fault—but I stop myself.
Despite how much of a disaster this has been, I have to remember: I’m someone else tonight.
Carmela Marino would turn him down and slap him across the face, but that’s not me right now.
He doesn’t even know my name, which means I can be anyone I want.
This new person, whoever I am, likes the way he’s looking at me.
No, she more than likes it?—
She really, really wants more.
I reach into my clutch and take it out. The little pink vibrator sits on my palm. I’ve never felt so vulnerable in my entire life, but he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t act like I’m strange or broken or like I’m crossing a dozen different bright-red lines.
Instead, he plucks it from my hand.
“Not bad,” he says and licks his lips in a way that suggests he’s thinking about what I look like when I use it. Which turns me on in a way I’ve never felt before. Deep, pulsing, impossible to ignore. “In your hands, this little toy is a deadly weapon. I bet you’re good with it.”
“I usually use a saber when I fence,” I say, cheeks so scarlet I must look like I’m on fire.
“I’m not talking about fencing anymore.” He closes his hand around my vibrator. “Come show me how you use this, and I don’t mean as a weapon.”
Oh my god.
All my triggers pull. Explosions go off in my brain. This is the moment I wanted when I left the house earlier, and now that it’s here, I can barely control myself.
He holds out a hand.
I stare at it, and there’s another crossroad.
Turn him down and go back to my life unchanged, no different than I was before. I’ll follow my father’s orders and marry a stranger like a good girl should.
Or go with Step and really become someone else.
This moment, right here, is why I came out tonight.
Because if I had kept going the way I was going, if I had just followed my father’s orders, then I never would have experienced something like this.
The sheer elation. The mortification, the embarrassment. My heart racing into my chest and the strange, tingling excitement between my legs.
The nervous fear mingling with pure lust.
“Where do you live?” I ask him, breathless and not sure how this is supposed to work.
“Not far.” He steps closer. One of his hands rests lightly on my hip. There’s that charming smile again, but this time, it’s laced with something else. “If you follow me home, I’m going to put you to work. I want your legs spread and that vibrator rubbing up against your slick clit. I want to watch you come before I’ll even touch you. Can you do that for me, little fencer?”
Holy shit.
Nobody has ever talked to me like that before.
Good little Carmie? Not a chance. Most men are terrified of my family, much less ballsy enough to say something like that .
“I think so,” I whisper, more turned on than I’ve ever been before. A part of me wonders if I should tell him how inexperienced I am. I’ve barely kissed a handful of men and been felt up and awkwardly fondled by a couple of them, but nothing more than that.
Nothing like… this .
“That’s a good girl.” His other hand touches my other hip. He moves them around and pulls me lightly against him. My heart’s racing as my hands push into his muscular chest. I feel his pulse: completely steady.
Like he’s in control right now.
“How do we, uh, you know.” I clear my throat, feeling awkward and lost. “How do we do this?”
His smile is like liquid honey as he dips his mouth down toward mine.
“I think we’ll start here.”
Then he kisses me.
Lightly at first. Probing and confident. Like he’s testing to see how I’ll react.
And god, it tastes so fucking good.
I react by losing my mind.
I press myself tighter to him, sealing his mouth with mine. His lips part and his tongue invades my mouth, and he releases a sinful groan of surprise as the kiss turns from nice to searing hot in seconds. I melt against him as his taste floods me: whiskey and mint like a terrible secret.
A car rolls past. Someone shouts from the direction of the club. I’m only vaguely aware of the city around us. I’m too lost in this man as his hands possessively grip my ass and I find myself grinding in against him. It’s the sort of kiss I’ve never really had before in my life. All the men I’ve kissed before this one have been nervous and too gentle.
There’s nothing soft about Step.
He dominates me with this entire body. He runs a hand through my hair and grips it as he bites my lower lip. He peppers my neck with kisses right there on the sidewalk like he doesn’t give a damn if anyone walks past. He stares down into my eyes and I stare back at the most handsome, god-like man I’ve ever seen in my life.
“I’m going to take you home now,” he whispers, his other thumb brushing across my cheek. He pushes it into my mouth and I suck it, whimpering in surprise at how much it turns me on. “When we reach my house, I’m going to take you to my room. Then I’m going to strip off your clothes, put you on my bed, and stroke my cock while you get yourself off. When you’re right on the edge and moaning for more, you’ll suck my thick dick with those beautiful lips as you climax. Then I’ll fuck you and use you however I please until tomorrow morning. Do you understand me, little fencer? Now is your chance to back out.”
My breath comes ragged and broken. I can’t think of anything but the sequence he just laid out for me.
Expose myself to him. Touch myself until I come. Suck his cock. Then fuck him.
Lose myself for a night.
“Take me home,” I tell him.
The car comes a few minutes later. He ushers me into the back and keeps a hand on my thigh possessively the whole ride. The driver tries small talk but quickly gives up when he realizes Step isn’t in the mood and I’m too nervous to form a coherent sentence. We leave West Philly and head into Passyunk Square. Step’s house is right off the main strip. It’s an immaculately well-kept red brick home with a brown-and-tan bay window and a black door. He unlocks it, and for a second, I think this is a terrible idea.
I don’t know this man. Not really. I don’t know what he did back at the club, if he even did anything. I don’t know what he wants from me, if he wants something other than sex tonight. He could kill me in there; despite my fencing, I can’t actually defend myself from a man like him. Following him would be crazy.
And yet I do it anyway, because if I can marry a man without even knowing his name first, I can sleep with a stranger after having known him for all of a half hour.
“This way,” he says, tossing his keys on a side table. His place is pristine and shockingly beautiful. Dark hardwood floors, white walls covered in tasteful photographs of landscapes and city views. I’ve been around money my whole life, and this man has money . He might even be more comfortable than my father, and my father’s one of the most powerful men in the Marino Famiglia.
I want to ask him questions. What do you do for a living? What are your hobbies? You don’t like to murder girls, do you? But I keep my mouth shut as we head up the staircase.
I’m so nervous I could scream.
“I’ll give you another chance,” he says, turning to me at the top of the steps. “My room is through there. Once we cross that line, I won’t hold back. Are you sure about this, little fencer?”
“Assuming you’re not going to murder me when we’re done,” I say, trying to seem lighthearted and jokey, but I must sound like a lunatic.
“I’m not really in the mood to kill anyone tonight,” he says and brushes a thumb across my cheek. “Come take off your clothes.”
Then he steps into his room and leaves me on the threshold.