40. Carmie
Chapter 40
Carmie
I knew something was up when Lev came home in a frenzy after taking Simon and Olivier out that night.
He was voracious and barely keeping his mask on as he feasted on me. It was like a beast came storming into our hotel room and fucked me until I was so satisfied I could barely think straight.
Then we got the hell out of Montreal the next morning.
“We should go on a honeymoon,” he says as we drive across Canada, heading toward the border. “Ottawa isn’t far. We’ll stay in nice hotels and tour the country for a while. Then it’s down to Toronto, and then we’ll cross the border back into the States. What do you think?”
I put my hand on his thigh. “I think that’s a good idea.”
“You sure you’re up for it?”
“I’m pregnant, not dying.”
We stick to main roads and take our time, detouring into little towns on the way. At one point, he pulls over onto a gorgeous, wooded country lane and I ride him like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do. We’re nearly caught when an older man in a tractor chugs past, but he doesn’t spot us, or maybe he just doesn’t mind that we’re fucking on his property. But it’s only two hours to Ottawa, and soon we’re in another gorgeous hotel room showering together and sharing expensive room service.
Sofie: Hello?? Did you forget about us??
Frannie: She’s BUSY guys.
Sofie: I’m just trying to have a little wellness check on my girl. YOU ALIVE, CARMIE.
Gia: I think she’s donezo. Fucked to death by that big gorgeous husband.
Frannie: RIP. Good way to go.
Carmie: I’m alive! I’m in Canada!
Sofie: What are you doing there?
Carmie: Exploring, having a honeymoon, eating good food, the usual stuff.
Frannie: HOTEL SEX.
Gia: Is that the name of your latest band, Franskie?
Frannie: Ha ha ha but yes actually it’s a good one.
Sofie: We miss you Carms!!!!
Gia: WE DO!
Carmie: I’ll be back in the states soon and when I am we’re having a gathering.
Sofie: That’s gonna get messssssy.
Sofie: In the best way.
We spend a week in Ottawa. I want to pretend like I did a lot of sightseeing, went on some hikes, saw a play or whatever, but that’d be bullshit. Mostly, Lev and I wrecked each other in the hotel room, took a break to eat nice dinners, and went at each other like absolute maniacs the second we got back.
It’s like something took him over and I have no clue what, but I love it. He’s unhinged and vulnerable, and we spend hours talking and getting to know each other like we’re on some intense reality TV dating show. We’re packing years of dating and courting into a week, and it’s overwhelming and incredible. I can barely stand and think by the time we finally come up for air and head into Toronto.
“It’s going to be weird going back to Philly,” I tell him as we cruise the highway. “Where the hell are we going to get good poutine back home?”
“Maybe we can move here.”
“I doubt that.”
“Why not? You liked Ottawa.”
“I liked the hotel room.”
“Alright, you like Montreal then, and you’ll like Toronto.”
“Our lives are in Philly.”
He shrugs, staring out the window with a little half smile. He seems so much more relaxed now than he did before this trip, and it eases a strange knot between my shoulder blades. I release the tension and let myself be myself in his company. No more worrying, no more obsessing over every little thing.
It’s freeing in a strange way.
“I could let Alex run the shop. Everything else—” He gestures in the air.
“Sounds like you’re trying to run from your responsibilities. Come on, I want to get back to fencing with Aline. I want to see my friends and my brothers. There’s no way we could become Canadian.” I shiver at the thought.
He laughs and agrees he also couldn’t stand being so damn polite all the time, and eventually, we reach Toronto. It’s the biggest and nicest of the cities so far, and he picks out an obscenely swanky hotel in a gentrifying and fun neighborhood.
We spend a few days exploring the town and ruining the bed before he gets an invitation we can’t really turn down.
The restaurant’s a contemporary French fusion place. It’s quiet, though, and when we arrive, Valentin Zeitsev is already sitting at the table in the back.
“It’s good to see you,” he says, shaking Lev’s hand. “We have business to discuss.”
We sit at the table, and I ask him how his wife is doing. He talks about becoming a father and being an active parent while also managing a large organization.
“You’d be surprised how many lessons I’ve learned in my position that are directly applicable to being a parent.”
“Are you saying your people are a bunch of children?”
He shrugs, trying not to smile. “Something like that.”
The waitress brings wine and takes our order. I like the way Lev effortlessly guides the conversation. His charming mask is back up, but now it doesn’t seem like he’s struggling to maintain it.
If anything, he’s even more magnetic than normal. I keep my hand on his knee, unable to help myself. I’m too used to touching him all the damn time.
When our meal comes, Valentin finally gets down to it. “Things are moving quickly now,” he says, watching Lev from behind his glass of wine. “Whatever you did seems to have worked.”
“There was a problem, and I took care of him.”
“Him?” Valentin’s smile is very knowing. “I noticed there were some organizational changes recently.”
“Olivier had a change of heart.”
“I hear he’s missing.”
“I wouldn’t worry about him turning up.” Lev’s grin is huge, and Valentin laughs.
And now I understand what happened to our old friends.
It should bother me, knowing that Lev killed a guy. Except I didn’t really like Olivier, and I genuinely don’t give a damn.
Which probably makes me sick, but I think it’s more than that.
I understand how the world works. Sometimes, blood and violence are necessary to get things done. The old Carmie would’ve been squeamish about that, but I’m embracing the warrior-fencer hiding deep in my soul.
“Well done then.” Valentin raises a glass.
But Lev doesn’t return the toast. “You should know something. It was Oleg from the start. He was strong-arming the truckers into giving him better terms and pocketing the difference. I had to take care of some things to clean up his mess, but my father was the problem from the start.”
“I don’t like hearing that. I should have seen it sooner.”
“It’s the truth. My father always did know how to get a cut.”
Valentin’s glass lowers. He doesn’t speak for a moment, and it’s clear he’s not happy with this bit of information. I’d guess he would’ve been better off never knowing, but it’s clear Lev needs him to understand just how disruptive Oleg could be.
“A change of leadership in the Federov family isn’t such a bad thing,” Valentin says finally.
“That’s what I think too.”
There’s an edge to Valentin as his voice lowers. “When we go back to the States, that’s the story we’ll tell. Your father was disloyal from the start, and you came up here to prove it. Once I found out the truth, I forgave you.”
“Is that what you’re doing? Forgiving me?”
“I’m considering it. I liked your father. He might’ve been a snake, but he was my snake. He had his uses, and I’m not sure you’re the same as him.”
Lev nods slowly. I watch the two men. It feels like they’re about to start strangling each other.
“You’re right. I’m not like my father. I’m a different man, but I can promise you, I’ll be as loyal and as hard working. I solved one problem already, and I’ll solve more.”
“And you won’t try to fuck me behind my back.”
“I’ll more likely fuck you right to your face.”
Valentin laughs. The tension eases between them. I squeeze Lev’s knee. My heart’s racing in my throat. This is the moment I’ve been dreading, and I’m still not sure where the pakhan’s going to land.
If he goes back on his order and lets us rejoin the organization, that might make him look weak. But Lev did him a favor and saved one of his most important projects in years. That deserves a reward.
We finish dinner and walk out into the night together. Valentin’s men are waiting nearby in a black town car. Both are big and clearly hiding weapons under their dark leather jackets.
“Here’s what I’ve decided.” Valentin watches Lev carefully. “You will stay in Canada for a few more months. You will make sure the pipeline is functioning properly, and you’ll be on hand to solve any issues that may arise. Back home, I’ll tell everyone you’re cleaning up your father’s mess with my blessing and that you’re no longer dead in my eyes. Do you understand?”
I can tell Lev doesn’t like it. We were joking about staying in Canada forever—but this is his one chance. He opens his mouth to reply, but looks at me first.
“What do you think?” he asks softly.
I slip my hand into his. “I’m with you no matter what.” I’m too aware of Valentin studying us, but screw him. This is a big decision.
“You’ll miss fencing.”
“I’ll find a new teacher.”
“And the baby?—”
“We’ll get healthcare, and it’s not like we’re far from home. We’ll make Toronto our home for a few months. It’ll be fun.”
He turns to Valentin. “You heard my wife. It sounds like we’re staying in Canada.”
“Good choice.” He looks at me with a sharp smile. “I’m glad you two decided this match works.”
“He forced the issue,” I say, which makes Valentin laugh again.
“We’ll need time to wrap things up back home,” Lev says.
“Take a couple of weeks, but I want you here for the foreseeable future.” Valentin’s smile is warm as he turns away. “Good luck, you two.”
When he’s gone, we’re alone on the sidewalk. I lean into Lev and he wraps his arms around me. “Looks like we’re Canadians now.”
Lev groans. “Don’t joke.” He leans down to kiss me. “And don’t feel like this is something you have to do.”
“Lev—”
He pulls back so he can look into my eyes. “I know it’s asking a lot, making you stay here with me. If you decide you don’t want to, I’ll understand.”
“I’m your wife. My place is by your side. And anyway, the poutine, right?”
He leans down and kisses me softly. “I love you,” he says, resting his forehead against mine.
My heart skips and my stomach twists. I press myself tighter into him. “Did you really just say that?”
He kisses me again. “I did. Should I take it back?”
“What? No, absolutely not.”
“You’re right. I take it back.”
“Lev, you’re not funny.”
“What? You want me to love you?” He kisses me again and again. “You like that I fell for you?”
“I love you too,” I say, brushing his cheek with my fingers. The way his face lights up confirms everything I’ve been thinking.
This is right.
It’s absolutely right.
“I love you so much that while you’re gone, I’m going to practice my fencing,” he said as we begin to walk back to the hotel.
“Oh, yeah? You think a week or two is going to make a difference?”
“I think when you come back, I’m going to beat the shit out of you on the piste.”
“I look forward to you trying.” I jab a finger in his side and he grunts. “And I look forward to winning.”