Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The cool night wind whipped at Hudson’s face as he reached the balcony, providing a perfect contrast to the flush of his skin and the fiery rage that burned hot inside of him.
He powered across the balcony, reaching the railing where he leaned against it as he stared across the estate, trying to regain his composure.
I cannot keep allowing that woman to frustrate me, as she so often does. Worse, she seems to enjoy it. As if proving that she is so capable of getting under my skin confirms in her mind that I am not someone to be respected, but can be manipulated and used at her own discretion.
With a few deep breaths, he felt himself calming down. To think, he had been enjoying himself before he had bumped into his stepmother. The evening hadn’t been nearly as bad as he had feared. And the reason for that was so obvious that even Hudson could not deny it.
Just the thought of her—his wife—had him feeling considerably better.
He could not explain why, but he felt comfortable around her in ways that were an anathema to what he thought was normal.
Dammit, he might have even gone so far as to say that he enjoyed spending time with her. What have I become?
Feeling slightly better now, he turned to walk back inside but came to a sudden stop when he saw that he was not alone, as he had thought.
“What are you doing out here?” he said in sharper tones than he intended.
“Oh...” Florentia hesitated. “I...I saw what happened just now.” She bit her lower lip, her brow furrowed. “And I wanted to make sure that nothing is the matter.”
“Why would it be?”
“Your stepmother...” She did not approach him, standing back as if she had stumbled upon a tiger in the wild by accident. “She said something to upset you, and I wished to—”
“I am fine,” he snapped before he could help himself.
He was not angry at Florentia for coming to check on him.
If anything, a part of him felt warmed by the notion that she would even care.
He was angry at himself, that he had given her cause for concern in the first place.
I look weak and pitiful, and she can clearly see it.
“Are you sure?”
“I do not need to be checked up on,” he said. “I am not a child.” He grimaced at his response, guilt swarming him because he saw the hurt it caused in his wife’s eyes.
The balcony was dark, but the light from inside created a silhouette behind her.
Dressed in dark yellow, her white skin seeming to glow, her beauty was angelic and once again Hudson found himself wondering how someone so pure could want anything to do with him.
Why did she waste her time? Why did she care?
It made no sense! And Hudson hated not understanding things.
“We’re leaving,” he said, putting his head down to walk past her. “Now.”
“Please...” She stepped forward as if she meant to block him. “Hudson, there is no need to—”
“I told you that Your Grace is what you will call me when we are with company.”
She scoffed. “I do not see anyone out here but us.”
“That is...” He clicked his tongue. “That is not the point.”
“No,” she agreed. “The point is that you are treating me as if I have done something wrong, when all I am doing is trying to help.”
“I do not want your—”
“Yes, you do,” she spoke over him. “As you have all evening—and do not say otherwise.” She raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to argue.
“Is that not why I am here? Is that not the role I have played for this entire evening? I know you hate these events. And I know you hate your stepmother. Please, Hudson...” She took another step closer to him.
And then another. Still several feet back, she stood so that if he wanted to pass her, he would have to shove her out of the way.
“Tell me what is wrong. Let me help you.”
He felt the fight leaving him. He was not upset with Florentia, and he did not wish for her to think that he was. Also, he could see how earnest she was, that this had nothing to do with thinking him weak or pitiful. That she cared enough for him that she wanted to help.
And I want her to. I do not know why. I cannot understand why she, of all people, makes me feel this way. But I find myself wanting her to understand...
His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head as if in shame. “It is stupid.”
She chuckled softly. “It almost always is.”
“I do not hate my stepmother,” he admitted.
“Even if it may seem that way. It is more that she makes me feel...” He grimaced.
“She reminds me of so much that I would love nothing more than to forget. And like a cat pulling at a thread, once she has it in her paw, she cannot help but see how far she can stretch it.”
“Tell me about it.” She closed the distance between them, resting a hand on his arm. It was gentle, and it felt comforting. Somehow, it felt right.
He shook his head. “You know that she married my father when I was but fourteen?”
“I do.”
“At the time, I hated my father for remarrying. I loved my mother...” His chest tightened as he spoke.
“She was one of the few people who truly understood me. Unlike my father, she was kind and caring and patient with me. I always feared that I would turn out to be just like my father, and while I clearly have...” A bitter chuckle.
“I honestly believe that if she had not died, things might have been different.”
“I never knew your father,” she said. “But if he was anything like you, he cannot be nearly as bad as you say.”
He laughed at that, most surprisingly. “He is worse.” Hudson forced himself to look at her, which brought more pain and shame because of how concerned she looked.
“And when he married Caroline, I thought he was trying to replace my mother. He was, I suppose, although not for any good reason. He simply believed that a duke should be married. It was a social requirement.”
“I know the type,” she laughed gently.
“Caroline is as conniving as she is intelligent,” Hudson continued.
“I knew she never cared for me or Elias, but she seemed to understand that if she could convince our father that she did, that she was a worthy replacement for our mother, that he might do things for her that he wouldn’t normally.
She used us,” he said bitterly. “She used us for her own gain.”
“Perhaps she was just trying to find her place?”
He shook his head. “No, she only thinks about herself. That was how she managed to convince my father to invest in one of her cousin’s businesses—a fool’s errand, which I am sure my father knew well enough.
Why he said yes...” His lip curled at the memory.
“We lost a small fortune, thanks to my stepmother’s antics, and not once has she admitted fault.
Although I suppose the way my father treated her afterward was punishment enough. ”
“They were not in love?”
He scoffed. “Their relationship was one of the determining factors in why I never wished to marry in the first place. I cannot remember much of my mother and father together, but I liked to think they loved each other. My father and Caroline, however...” He scoffed again.
“Fire and brimstone in the most literal sense.”
Florentia was silent for a moment as she took all of this in, which Hudson was grateful for as he found himself shaking as the memories of his childhood crashed down upon him with a renewed sense of vigor.
“Have you considered that maybe she is trying to make up for her past?” Florentia offered carefully. “I know you do not trust her, but when we spoke, she had nothing but nice things to say of you.”
“That is what she does,” he hissed. “She is using you as she once used me. And if you wish for proof, the reason I became so upset just now is because she took tonight as an opportunity to try and squeeze money from me for a new venture she has been eyeing. And do you know what she said when I turned her down?” He glared at Florentia, feeling that same spike of anger.
“What did she say?” Florentia leaned back as if afraid.
“She said...” He sucked through his teeth to calm himself.
“She said that she was certain that you would appreciate seeing the two of us working together. She made it appear as if by helping her, I would be helping you. She does not care about me. She does not care about you. She cares only for herself.”
“Oh...” Florentia blinked in surprise. “Well then, it sounds to me as if there is but one thing for us to do.”
Hudson grimaced, for he was certain that she was about to suggest that he seek out his stepmother and try and make amends.
Was that not what people did in these situations?
Wasn’t that the social expectation? Hudson would not do it!
Even if it meant fighting with his wife, he would not give his stepmother the pleasure.
“What?” he asked carefully.
“We must leave at once,” she said rightly, followed by a single nod. “Perhaps if we go out the back way, we will not risk running into her.”
Hudson frowned and leaned back. “Really? You...you do not think I should seek her out and make amends?”
She snorted. “If what you have told me is even half true, then I do not see the point. Besides...” She grinned.
“I prefer you as company when your stepmother is not involved because to be perfectly honest with you, Your Grace...” She winked.
“You are a rotten sort when she is about, and I would rather avoid the hassle.”
Hudson did not know what to say.
A part of him thought to thank her, for that felt right.
Another part thought to pull her into a hug, a rare thing for him, but it seemed like the correct move.
And another part... just stared at her, a smile on his lips, disbelief in his eyes, unable to fathom that Florentia, his wife, would be so understanding.
Not judgmental. Not mocking. Thoughtful in ways that he would have believed impossible.
“Thank you,” he said softly, meaning it.
“Hudson, by now I would hope that you would know that your best interests are mine also. We are married, after all. And that makes us a team.”
“A team...” He said the word as if he had never heard it.
“Yes.” She reached out and took his hand. “A team.” She squeezed it and smiled, and Hudson found himself smiling back as a warmth spread through his arm and touched his heart. “Now, shall we go? Unless you wish to stay.”
“No,” he said, still smiling at her, squeezing her hand back. “Let us leave. And quickly.”
They did just that, together, and Hudson would not have had it any other way.