Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
It was four days later when Florentia finally left her bedroom.
Reminiscent of the first month of her marriage, she refused to walk the halls of the manor for fear of bumping into her husband.
She did not bathe. She hardly ate. She lamented what had happened, while trying to figure out where she went from here.
A letter from Albina convinced her to finally leave. Not that her friend knew of her circumstances, but at least she would be an ear to talk to. A shoulder to cry on. And hopefully a mouth to offer some sane advice.
What could she even tell me that I do not already know? I tried the best that I could. I thought things had changed and that he had changed with them. But there is no changing him, and I am the fool for thinking differently.
Her plan was to sneak from the house so that she would not see Hudson.
A part of her wished to, just to talk to him again, just to remind him of who she was and why she had thought that they were in a place where she might feel comfortable confessing her feelings.
But she also did not wish to appear as if she was begging, or desperate, or ignoring his command.
He does not wish to see me? Fine. So be it.
Despite her efforts, it was no sooner than she’d closed the bedroom door behind her, intent on sneaking down the hall, that she heard a noise to her right.
She froze as if caught in the sight of a huntsman, eyes closed, heart beating frantically, praying that his back was to her, and that he did not notice—
“Going somewhere?” the duke’s voice swept down the hallway.
Florentia took a deep breath and forced herself to turn to face him.
The sight of him had a strange effect. Anger pulsed through her because she hated what he had done.
And yet...she still could not help but feel that same throbbing in her chest and warmth through her body because despite all that had happened, her feelings had not changed.
She still loved him.
“I am going out for the day,” she said, doing what she could to look unconcerned.
“To where, exactly?” he asked.
“Do you care?”
She saw the side of his mouth twitch at the sharpness of her response.
Then, for barely a moment, his expression softened, and he opened his mouth, and she held her breath because it looked to her as if he was about to apologize.
..only for the severity in his eyes to return and the coldness in his stance to smother any chance of reconciliation.
“You are my wife,” he said. “I ought to know when you leave the manor. For your safety, if nothing else.”
“So you care about my safety, do you?”
“As I said, you are my wife. My reputation is tied to you, and it would not do for anything to happen to you.” It might have been her imagination, but she could have sworn that she saw the fight within him, that urge to say what he wanted to say, battered back by his ridiculous notion of right and wrong. “So, I ask again, where are you going?”
She curled her lip and started down the hall, stepping to the right so that she could walk past him without getting too close. “You need not worry. I am simply paying Albina a visit.”
“At Elias’s home?”
“At her home,” she corrected coolly as she passed him. “From what I understand of their marriage, Elias does not laud himself over his wife as if she is property.”
“Florentia...” he groaned.
She stopped short, several feet past him, not turning around because she could not do that to herself. She knew he was stubborn. And she knew that despite what he said, he did not mean it. She had to believe that he felt things for her. She knew that he did.
“Yes?” she said, looking ahead, her heart racing with anticipation and hope.
“Do not be late,” he said. “It would not do for you to be out after dark.”
A crushing pain grew in her chest, made worse by the sound of his footsteps walking away.
She remained where she was a moment longer, forcing the tears that welled in her eyes to stay where they were; she would not give him the satisfaction.
And then, with a deep breath, she cleared her mind and concentrated on anything but the duke, and she hurried from the manor.
In less than an hour she found herself at Albina and Mr. Bond’s home.
It was a country house, not quite as large as a proper estate, but built on vast tracts of farmland which Florentia was quite sure were owned by her husband.
Albina met her in the drive as the carriage came to a steady stop, and not knowing of Florentia’s heartache, she was positively buzzing with radiant joy.
“It is about time you came to visit,” she said, sweeping toward Florentia and pulling her into a glorious hug. “What’s the matter? Enjoying yourself too much at home to see your best friend?”
Florentia forced a smile. “Something to that effect.”
“I am surprised His Grace is not with you...” Albina looked past Florentia and at the carriage. “He is not hiding inside, is he? Come out, Your Grace!”
“I assure you, he is not.”
“Most surprising,” she continued to joke. “The way the two of you were at the Turncott ball, I might think you would never leave one another’s side again.”
“Yes, well...” Florentia was doing her best to remain positive, but her friend was making it difficult. “He is busy today, so...” She shrugged.
Albina took Florentia by the hand. “Good, it is about time that you and I caught up, I think. Come, I have a table set for us in the back garden. Tea and sweet meats await!”
She led Florentia around the side of the house and into the back garden, a colorful landscape made of dozens of varieties of flowerbeds so that from afar it looked like a rainbow.
At the center was the table to which she’d referred, parked under the shade of a large tree, already set with a saucer and pot of tea.
The friends sat themselves down and Albina continued to gush.
“The timing could not be more perfect, truth be told. Elias has gone into London for the day. He would not tell me exactly where, but I suspect he is visiting the gentleman’s club.
” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Too much time spent with his wife, it sounds like.”
“I am sure he is missing you already.”
“No doubt,” Albina agreed. “Truth be told, I could use the break...” She sighed and sipped her tea, her smile still full.
“You know, of course, that we are trying for a child. Elias has become a tad frustrated of late too, worried over how long it is taking. But as I have told him, these things take time.”
“I have heard as much.”
“Which reminds me.” She flashed her eyes wickedly.
“You and His Grace...yes, yes, I know what you are going to say. That the two of you are simply companionable and friendly and there are no plans to have a child together. But Florentia...” She leaned forward, her smile eager.
“We all saw you the other night. Elias and I, well, we have been talking and even he cannot believe how much his brother has warmed to you.”
Florentia felt a pang in her stomach, and she could not bring herself to sip her tea, lest she be sick. She looked ahead, refusing to meet her friend’s eyes.
“Be honest with me, for I deserve that much. What is going on with the two of you? Have you discussed...you know...”
“I...” Florentia swallowed, her chin beginning to wobble. “I do not know what you are talking about.”
“You know too well. Anyone with eyes can see how you both feel about one another, so tell me true, has he confessed his feelings for you yet? Or have you confessed your own?”
And just like that, Florentia burst into tears.
Oh, she did not mean to. She had tried to be strong.
But Albina’s words struck a chord, confirming with Florentia that what she had thought she knew wasn’t solely in her own head.
What was more, it reminded her of what she’d had, and she could not escape the feeling that she had made a grave mistake in ruining it.
“Florentia...” Albina gasped. “What is wrong? What happened!”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “It is nothing...”
“Clearly it is something! Is it His Grace? What did he do?”
“He did not do anything.”
“Do not lie to me.”
“I am not lying.” Florentia looked at her friend, her vision blurred from the tears. “He did not do a thing, but that is the problem.”
Albina frowned and leaned back. “I am afraid I do not understand.”
“It is...” She sighed. “It is complicated, Albina. And confusing. And I confess, I have no idea what to think. About any of it.”
Albina clicked her tongue and set down her saucer. Then she shuffled her chair around the table and rested her hand on Florentia’s lap. “Tell me everything.”
And that was what Florentia did...
“...I was not thinking straight,” Hudson explained to his brother.
“That is the only possible explanation. One minute we were laughing about her parents and how ridiculously they had behaved. And the next...” His chest tightened at the memory, the guilt he had been fighting for days now surging back.
“I lost control entirely. It was unlike anything I had ever felt, as if she had bewitched me!”
“Meaning…?”
His head dropped. “I kissed her.”
“You kissed her?” Elias gasped. “Where?”
“In the drawing room.”
“No, not the location,” Elias sighed. “Where did you kiss her—on the cheek? The hand?” He grinned and then winked. “On the mouth?”
Hudson looked flatly at his brother. “Where do you think?”
“Well, I never...” Elias fell back in his chair, a dazed look on his face that might have suggested he’d just run a mile and was experiencing lightheadedness. “His Grace, the Duke Worthington, kissing his own wife in the privacy of their home. The horror!”
“This is not a laughing matter,” Hudson snapped.
“Who is laughing?” Elias shot back right away. “Might I ask you something, brother?”
“You are going to nonetheless, I am sure.”
“Did she kiss you back?”