Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Hudson arrived home a few hours before sunset, riding his horse right to the front door and dismounting without wasting time securing it. He jumped from the saddle and strode up the stairs, throwing open the front door and then storming inside.
The house sat in silence, which did not surprise him.
“Florentia!” he called out. “Florentia! Are you home!” He looked to the top of the staircase, expecting her to appear as if by magic. No such thing happened.
Instead, one of the members of staff rushed from a side door, crying in surprise to see Hudson home so soon.
“Your Grace!” It was Mrs. Harris, an older maid who had been with Hudson’s family since he was a boy. “You are home!”
“Mrs. Harris...” Hudson smiled broadly, a sight which she had likely seen less than a handful of times in her long life. “My wife, Mrs. Harris. Where is she? I would very much like to see her.”
“Your wife...” Her aged face paled as if in fear. “Your Grace...”
“Mrs. Harris...” Hudson frowned, a stab of panic shooting through him. “My wife, Mrs. Harris. Where is she?”
“We sent word, Your Grace,” she said, her chin wobbling. “We did not know if it would reach you...” She looked for confirmation, seeing the confusion on Hudson’s face. “But it is Her Grace. She is...” She swallowed, chin still wobbling furiously. “She has been taken ill.”
Hudson’s stomach dropped. “Wh—what do you mean? Ill how? Speak!”
“We do not know,” she said quickly. “It was just yesterday when—Your Grace!” she cried out as Hudson stormed passed her.
Up the stairs Hudson sprinted, down the hall, his sights set on Florentia’s quarters. The door was closed, but he threw it open, refusing to picture what he might find, needing to see it for himself.
He came to a sudden stop as soon as he entered the room, and then he stumbled back as if someone had slapped him across the face and driven a stake through his heart.
A coldness settled over him, through his skin and into his bones.
His stomach plummeted, now joined by a sickness that had his body shaking.
What he saw...never in his life had he felt anything like this.
It was such fear that he nearly cried out in pain.
“Florentia...”
She was lying on her back, hands folded on her chest, as still as a corpse, and just as sickly. It was not until Hudson forced himself closer that he saw her chest rise and fall with her soft breathing.
“Florentia!” He fell to his knees by the bed’s side, pushing through the agony that wrecked his body. “What has happened!” He grabbed her hand, wincing at how cold it felt. “Florentia!”
“It was yesterday, Your Grace,” Mrs. Harris said from the doorway. “It was I who found—”
“What happened!” he snarled at her. “What is wrong with my wife?”
“We do not know!” she cried out. “The doctors have come to see her, but they are as confused as anyone. She is alive, which is a blessed thing. But they cannot say what has happened. They are at a loss.”
Hudson felt a sensation snatch at him that he had never experienced because he had never been in love before.
It was heartache, plain and simple. To see someone who he cared for, someone who he loved, reduced to such a sickly state as this, at death’s door with no sign that they might get better. ..it was agony.
“Florentia...” he said in a whisper, chin wobbling, tears welling in his eyes. “I am here, Florentia. I am here...” He squeezed her hand, then leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “Please, I have come back. I...I have come back for you. Please...”
It was stupid to think. Even Hudson knew that he was being dramatic.
Yet a part of him could not escape the feeling that this was his doing.
That the way he had treated her, his rejection of her love in such a brutal manner as he had done, had caused whatever it was that she was suffering from. A broken heart, it had to be.
“I am so sorry...” Tears began to poor down his cheek. “Florentia, please forgive me. I am so sorry...”
There was nothing else to say. Nothing he could do.
Powerless and at the mercy of fate, Hudson wept openly for his wife, for himself, for love that he now thought to be lost. This was all his fault, he knew it to be true, and if Florentia was to die or never wake up, he would never be able to forgive himself.
The first thing that Florentia remembered feeling was pain.
It wasn’t crippling. It didn’t make her want to scream.
But it was consistent, and she could feel it all over her body.
Like a hand had wrapped around her organs and was squeezing them.
Like a knife was grinding itself against her bones.
Like a heavy weight sitting upon her chest so that she could hardly breathe.
But she wasn’t fully awake. She was caught between a dream and reality, the pain she felt making it so that she refused to try and open her eyes, praying that she might see it pass if she just kept them closed a little longer...
The pain didn’t leave her, but the urge to open her eyes grew stronger.
She couldn’t remember where she was or what had happened.
Had she fallen asleep? Was she home or somewhere else?
Every breath was torture. She shifted on what felt like a bed, wincing.
Eyes still closed, she tried to feel around herself, noticing that through the pain, something soft and warm was holding her by the hand.
It was another hand wrapped around her own.
Larger than her hand, it was strong and protective.
Through the pain, she concentrated on that hand as if she was drowning and it was pulling her above the water.
She continued to focus on it, feeling the pain slowly seep from her body as if that hand was her protector, as if so long as it was there, she would get through whatever it was that hurt her.
And then, feeling strength for the first time, she opened her eyes.
“Florentia!” a voice gasped, one that she recognized immediately. “You’re...oh my God. You’re awake! Florentia!” The hand squeezed tightly, and another came to rest on her shoulder.
Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the room; it was dark, but the fire in the hearth provided a soft light. Her room, she realized, and she was in bed. Still, she couldn’t remember what had happened or why, but she managed to turn her head slightly, not surprised to see Hudson sitting beside her.
“Hudson...” A weak smile slowly crept over her lips. “I thought that was you.”
“Florentia!” He moved to throw himself over her but stopped before he did so, grimacing with anxiety as he looked her over, seeming to realize that maybe she wasn’t ready for such things. “You are awake...I cannot believe...I did not know if you...”
There was something different about him, and it took her a moment to understand what.
She squinted up at her husband, still the same man she knew well, only.
..there was a change in him. It was the tears that rolled down his cheeks, she decided, the smile on his lips too.
She had never seen him taken by such emotion.
“How was your trip?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
“My trip?” he frowned. “What are you...Florentia, I was gone for but a day. I should never have left you. I am so sorry—I know that nothing I say can make things right, but I pray you understand how sorry I am.”
Her head throbbed painfully. She was having a hard time thinking through what was going on. The last thing she remembered was Hudson leaving for his business trip, an act which had signaled to her mind how little he cared for her. Only now, it appeared, something had changed.
“What is going on?” she asked. “I hate to play catch up but...” She tried to sit up but there was no strength in her body, and the pain she had felt earlier was now concentrated in her stomach. It made her wince.
“Don’t move,” Hudson said immediately. “I will send for a doctor.” He went to stand but she held onto his hand.
“You’re going?”
He paused, half standing. “I need to get help, Florentia. We did not know...” He sniffed but did not wipe the tears away. “We did not know if you would ever wake.”
“What...what do you mean? What is going on?”
“You don’t remember?”
She touched her head to try and stay the headache. “I remember you leaving me. And then...” She tried to recall the best she could but was unable. “No, I do not...what is going on? Hudson. Speak plainly.”
Hudson considered, caught between going for help and staying with her. But she looked pleadingly at him, and he relented, sitting back down. “I should never have left you. Dammit, I should never have...you have no idea how sorry I am, Florentia. For everything.”
“This is not your fault,” she said weakly.
“We do not know that,” he sighed, his large shoulders sagging. “If I had been here, this… whatever it is. It would not have happened.”
“So, we do not know what happened? My memory….”
“Nobody knows,” he admitted. “The staff found you on the floor four days ago, passed out. And you have no woken since.”
“Four days ago?” Florentia gasped. “How did you...”
“I came back the day after I left,” Hudson said quickly. “That was three days ago now. We thought....” He sniffed again. “We thought you might never...” His body began to shake.
Florentia frowned at her husband as she slowly put the pieces together. Despite the pain, despite the confusion, she could not help but smile as she came to realize something. “They sent for you? That is why you returned?”
He shook his head. “No, that is not...” He was already holding her hand with one of his hands, but he reached over and wrapped his second about them.
Then he looked into her eyes, letting her see the redness, the tears, the pain and sorrow and the misery he was feeling.
“I was wrong, Florentia. About everything.”
“What...” Her heart began to race, which hurt, but she ignored it. “What do you mean?”
“When you told me two weeks ago that you...” He grimaced. “That you loved me, what I said to you...” He looked away. “I cannot believe I said such things.”
“You might have to remind me.”
He shook his head in shame. “My entire life, you must understand, has been a lie. I want to blame my father. I want to blame my upbringing. But those are mere excuses used to hide behind. You know me as a cold, callous, heartless...” He considered.
“Monster,” she offered him.
He chuckled and squeezed her hands. “That is not the real me. It is a role I have played because I thought I must. But you...” He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.
“You saw through who I was pretending to be. You...you found the real me. Somehow...” He smiled finally and it reached his eyes and touched at her heart.
“Somehow you made me understand who I could be...who I really am. You made me see what that was like, and while I ran from it because I was scared, you need to know that I am no longer that man.”
Florentia studied her husband for a moment. It is right there, I can see it. On the tip of his tongue—but even now he is too scared to say it.
Perhaps if the situation had been different, Florentia might not have been so quick to forgive.
Certainly, she would at least have let him know how much he hurt her, and quite possibly make him work to earn back her affection.
But with all things considered…she was still not sure what had happened, although it appeared that she had almost died, and she decided then and there that there simply wasn’t time for such games.
The love I have felt for Hudson for weeks now has not faded, and it seems that finally he is ready to admit the same. If that does not cure whatever this is that ails me, I do not know what can.
“I am no longer scared. And I see you for who you are. Hudson, will you please speak plainly? Although I never imagined that you would have much difficulty with that.”
“I have changed a lot since we first met.”
“Speak! Or I will have to ask you to leave.”
“Florentia...” He held her hands and her eyes both. “I love you. I have loved you for weeks now. Since before you told me the same. Since...since the night of the ball, I have loved you. I was just too much of a fool to admit it until now.”
“Better late than never, I think.”
He laughed. “I was just thinking the same.”
They smiled together, laughing softly, wrapped in a warmth that wasn’t caused by the fire or the fever that had taken Florentia’s body.
The look they shared was a singular sensation, a knowing gaze that could only be understood by those who had ever felt the same.
A look of shared love, from now until forever.
Florentia’s body was weak. Her stomach pained her terribly. She could hardly keep her eyes open. Yet all she wanted was to seal this announcement with the one thing their relationship was sorely missing.
“Hudson...” She looked at him pointedly. “Please, do not make me beg, but if you do not kiss me soon, I might choose to go back to sleep and I do not know if I will wake a second time.”
His eyes turned wide. “Are you...are you certain? I do not want to hurt you.”
She laughed softly. “You could never hurt me.”
Hudson’s eyes lit up and she could feel his breathing turn ragged. Is he nervous? He better be! Still holding her by the hands, he shuffled in closer, leaned forward, and then, ever so gently, he lowered his lips to hers and they shared their second kiss.
It might not have cured what ailed her. It might not have stopped the pain wrecking her body.
It might not have brought her back to life or given her the strength to rise from the bed.
But that didn’t really matter. The kiss they shared.
..it went beyond such terms as passion and fiery and amours.
It wasn’t about the attraction felt, the sparks which flew, or anything like that.
It was a simple kiss, a most natural thing, like breathing, it was something that Florentia knew she could not live without.
She wondered how she had survived all these years without it.
Hudson pulled away, the feel of his lips leaving hers like having a limb torn free.
She gasped, he started in panic, she smiled and assured him she was fine, and then he simply held her by the hands and started down at her with that same look of love he had worn since the moment she’d opened her eyes.
How did we get here? And where do we go now? Florentia had no answers, but that did not matter. She had Hudson, she knew, and from the way he continued to look at her and hold her, she felt sure that she would never lose him again.