Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Siena had never suffered such a miserable birthday.
She’d felt her father’s absence acutely the whole day through, and as she dined with her family in Naples’ most exclusive restaurant, she knew the others were feeling his absence, too.
Lorenzo Esposito had always celebrated his children’s birthdays as if they were the birthdays of royalty.
He’d always made Siena feel like a princess on hers, always outdoing himself each year with his affection and gifts.
Last year, he’d handed her the keys to the sports car of her dreams. That her position in the world meant it was rarely safe for her to drive didn’t detract from the meaning behind it.
Having assumed her mother would buy her a pamper day or something else that was decidedly feminine, she’d been surprised and touched at her thoughtfulness.
Yes, Siena loved girly, feminine stuff, but she also loved fast cars, and guilt rose in her as it always did when her mother showed her thoughtful side at her inability to see her mother with the eyes of the faithful daughter she’d been before the incident with Stefano.
The only person she hadn’t received a gift from that day was her husband.
She hadn’t expected a gift from him, but it bothered her how much it hurt.
It shouldn’t hurt. A marriage forged through vengeance and hate was not a marriage where gifts were exchanged, and never would be.
She was damned if she’d even bother to learn when his birthday was, let alone go out and think of a thoughtful gift for him.
But he hadn’t even wished her a happy birthday, not even in a mocking fashion. He’d watched her open her gifts from her family and made no comment at all. But he took it all in. Those silver eyes didn’t miss a thing.
What killed her was that she kept having to fist her hand to stop it from touching his thigh.
The owner had put them in their usual private room, but with the new additions to the usual gathering, including Francesca and Gino and Rico’s pregnant angel, Marisa, space felt tighter than normal.
Elio’s arm and thigh kept brushing hers, and she was so aware of it.
Aware of him. The pulse between her legs was already throbbing with anticipation of going to bed.
So consumed was she by Elio that she barely had time to nurture her loathing of Gabriella, who wisely had seated herself as far from Siena as she could get.
This was the first birthday she could remember where she hadn’t spent the day getting ready with Gabriella for the big night out. She wished she didn’t miss her so badly. Wished she didn’t feel so alone.
She shouldn’t feel alone, surrounded as she was by her family. Maybe that’s why she was so consumed by Elio, she tried to cheer herself by rationalising. Not that it was a very cheering way to try and lift her mood.
Draining her glass of wine, she closed her eyes in an effort to centre herself. Except, when she opened them again, she glanced at the far end of the table and caught Gabriella’s eye. Her heart wrenched painfully before she could tear her stare away.
* * *
Siena’s mood wasn’t helped when the time came for them all to say goodbye, and she saw Mattia get into a car being driven by Stefano.
Not even knowing the bastard was going off to South America in the morning at Mattia’s behest and that she wouldn’t have to see him for a few weeks stopped the curdling in her guts to see him.
Her mood dipped even further when she arrived back at the villa with Elio after a drive where they hadn’t exchanged a solitary word at the exact time his security were walking the perimeter with the dogs.
Happy bloody birthday indeed.
Inside, she slipped her shoes off and headed to the bar in the living room. She was fed up of feeling like a house-guest in this villa. This was her home now, and she was going to damned well start treating it as such.
Elio kept a fully stocked bar. Very much aware he was watching her, she mixed herself a very large Negroni, downed it, mixed another of equal size and carried it outside.
It was the first time she’d ventured into the garden.
It was tastefully done, she grudgingly admitted.
The large rectangular pool was clean, the poolside decked with expensive, pristine loungers and tables.
On the far side of the pool was a verdant lawn big enough for a football team of children to kick a ball about on, and as she thought this, she pictured miniature Elios running around, laughing and fighting.
Closing her eyes to kill the image, she sat on the side of the pool and dipped her feet and calves into it. In comparison with the close warmth of the night, the water felt deliciously cool and refreshing.
She sensed rather than heard footsteps nearing her, and closed her eyes again.
The air moved around her before she inhaled the warm, masculine scent she liked far more than was good for her and heard a light splash of water.
Sipping her drink, she willed the potent alcohol to temper her racing heart.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Elio take a drink from a crystal tumbler.
Judging by the colour, it was whisky or bourbon.
Or maybe rum. Her nose twitched. Whisky, she decided, and took another drink of her Negroni.
One thing she was grateful to Elio for was that he never drank beer.
“When I was fourteen, Stefano pinned me against a wall and shoved his fingers in my vagina.”
The words came out without any thought.
She felt Elio’s stare turn to her, but kept her own stare fixed in the distance.
Since he’d asked her outright who had hurt her, the incident had played on her mind a lot more than she normally allowed.
Her mother’s thoughtful birthday presents had only added to the complication of her feelings and the sensation that she was walking a tightrope that was being lifted higher and higher.
A fall was coming. She felt it in her bones.
Being sure to keep her voice emotionless, she said, “When I was a little girl, I was crazy about him. I took my first holy communion when I was seven in the white lace dress all us girls wear for it, and dreamed it was a wedding dress and that I was marrying him. He was one of my father’s henchmen and very close to Mattia; almost part of our family, but I don’t think he saw me as anything but the boss’s daughter until I hit puberty and my breasts developed.
One day I was a flat-chested child, and the next I had these things, and I was so excited for them.
” She shook her head and gave a short, bitter laugh.
“I was such a girly girl, and so proud of my developing body and the feeling that I was becoming a woman, and I wanted everyone to see it. I didn’t know the danger I was putting myself in.
I had big brothers who spoke about women in the most derogatory way, but that was just bravado amongst brothers and them being pigs.
I didn’t think it was real. I didn’t really think men viewed women as slabs of meat with holes to fuck.
In those days, I had no idea my father hosted sex parties or that my mother refused to share a bed with him because his demands in the bedroom repulsed her. My world was safe. I was safe.”
She took a shaky breath and drank more of her Negroni. “My childhood crush on Stefan had been a bit of a joke in my family, but not something anyone had taken seriously, mainly because I’d been a child. I didn’t know he knew about it or that he thought…”
She pulled in another shaky breath. She’d never told the full story before. She didn’t even know why she was telling it now.
“My parents used to throw these huge pool parties. My father would work the barbecue, but they’d get the caterers in for the rest of it.
I had a couple of glasses of champagne when I thought no one was looking, and played water polo – it was the first time I’d been allowed to play.
” She pulled a face. “The downside of being so much younger than my brothers. But I played that day, and I was told to block Stefano. That was my job. If you’ve played water polo, then you’ll know it can get really physical, so there was a lot of body contact between us, but I didn’t think anything of it because I’d watched so many games and knew that’s how it went.
When it was over, I went to my room to change into my new summer dress.
I loved that dress and couldn’t wait for everyone to admire me in it. ”
Lifting her head to the dark sky, she swallowed. She’d got this far. Might as well share the rest of it.
“He was waiting outside my room for me. I literally walked out of my door, and then I was being pinned against the wall with Stefano’s tongue down my throat.
” She finally turned her face to Elio’s.
His features were as hard and as set as granite.
“He tasted of raw onion and beer. It was disgusting. I tried to push him off, but he was too strong and kept saying he knew how much I wanted him. My beautiful dress that I was so enamoured with was very short, and he had no trouble putting his hand up it and jabbing his fingers inside me. He only stopped because he heard voices downstairs, and when he pulled away from me, he kissed me again and told me that he’d find me later when it was safe for us to be alone.
” She could feel her eyes flashing with the old anger and pain.
“I have never been so scared in all of my life. He hurt me, and when I went and told my mother, she told me she would sort it, but that it was my own fault for drinking alcohol and leading him on and that I was never to tell anyone else about it.” Her face tightening, she shook her head and looked away from Elio’s unreadable stare.
“And I never did. Not a soul until now, and I really have no idea why I’ve just shared it with you. ”