Now
Elliott drove me home that night, opened the car door for me, and walked me into the lobby—all the gentlemanly things a man could do. He didn’t try to kiss me or even hug me. I started to think that maybe he really did want to only be my friend. Or was he really just that respectful?
I hated that I didn’t have privacy to masturbate in my own room, so I took the opportunity to use the shower in the empty bathroom. I closed my eyes, lathering my body with soap, and imagined Elliott in his car, reaching his hand over and in between my thighs. Fuck, just thinking about him made me wet; I slipped my hand to my pussy and put my finger to my throbbing clit, needing release after being in his presence and not being able to touch him. Why do I have these rules again? My mind instantly wandered to Michael and I hated that his face began to mix with Elliott’s in my fantasy.
“Elliott,” I whispered to myself, hoping his name said aloud would rule out the image of Michael.
Elliott slid his finger inside of me, feeling the heat and wetness between my thighs. He put his fingers to his mouth to taste me and—
“Fuck,” I quietly moaned, coming to my own fantasy.
This was exactly why I needed to run; I was starting to let my guard down with him and I wanted nothing more than for him to fuck me. I told him about Michael mutilating me because I wanted to scare him off. But was that really all I was trying to do? Was I giving him a warning? Or was I opening up and telling him things that he needed to know before we—before we what? Started a relationship? I knew that could never happen so why exactly was I opening up to him? Why was I even spending time with him?
I knew what I needed to do—I needed to get him out of my life. I needed to keep myself safe. That meant staying far away from any man, friendly and otherworldly beautiful or not.
I decided to sleep on my decision. When I woke up from a dream in which Elliott and I had a picnic and had sex during sunset, I knew I had to cut things off with him.
I was on my way to work when I sent him the text: I had such a nice time with you last night. That’s why it’s so hard to let you know that we can’t talk anymore. I am letting every one of my guards down with you and I’m not comfortable with how that’s making me feel. I hope you understand. You’re far too good to be in my life. ??
Fuck! I accidentally hit send without erasing the broken heart emoji. I turned my phone off and silently cried the rest of the way to work.
* * *
I was on my break when I decided to turn my phone back on. I had been having a decent night with decent tips but my mind was constantly on Elliott. My heart dropped when I saw that I had three texts from him queued up on my phone.
The first one read: I understand. I’m sorry you’re not comfortable. Like I said, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in any way around me. The next one read: If we’re not going to talk anymore, I guess I’d like to get a few things off my chest in case I never get to talk to you again. I knew I was going to cry, whatever he had to tell me.
His last one read: You have stirred up feelings inside of me that I didn’t even know were possible anymore. I was instantly drawn to you, even when you continually told me to—for a lack of a better term—fuck off. I was excited about our friendship even though I knew I wanted more; I just wanted to talk to you, if that’s all I could do. I was not looking for anyone at all when you begrudgingly accepted my help on that plane, but now I know that I don’t want just anyone, I want you.
I read his last text over and over, my heart pounding harder each time. Thoughts couldn’t even form in my brain—all I could see were the words “I want you” at the end of his text. My hands were shaking as I tried to respond, but there was nothing I could say. I wanted him so fucking badly, and I couldn’t have him. Why can’t you have him, you idiot? Because I’m fucked up! Once he knows you, who you really are, he will just end up hurting you. Just give him the chance. No. I can’t.
I spent my whole break trying to think of what to say to him. In the end, I pocketed my phone and returned to work, my mind flying away, far out of my head.
By the time I got off work, I quickly texted him before I could change my mind: What’s your address?
He instantly texted me back. I ordered an Uber, and twenty minutes later, I was pulling up to his house on a hill in Los Feliz. It looked smaller than I imagined, but I figured it must have cost more than a million dollars. God, I am way out of my league here . I walked up the steps and didn’t even have to knock; Elliott opened the door as soon as I approached. He looked nervous in his jeans and T-shirt, his arms even more muscular than they had seemed under his long-sleeved shirts.
“Hi,” I breathed, my heart viciously trying to break out of my chest.
He eyed me as I walked up, my legs feeling wobbly as I stood directly in front of him. “Hi.”
“I shouldn’t be here,” my shaky voice let out.
“I’m glad that you are,” he responded, searching my face, his chest moving up and down quickly.
Fuck it. I quickly pressed my body against his as I reached up for his shoulders, his lips finding mine in an instant. He held onto me with his strong arms around my waist, pressing me even closer to him. His tongue urgently twirled with mine as he guided us into the house, quickly closing the door behind us with his foot. My hands had a mind of their own as they, with his help, lifted his shirt up and over his head and I moaned as I felt his hard body underneath my fingers. I unlocked our kiss to look at his body— fucking hell, oh my God . My breath hitched as I stared at him; he had a sexy, manly hairy chest, and his arms were bulky like fucking Thor.
“I have rules,” I breathed. “My shirt stays on.” I was too self-conscious to show him my scars; the ones on my legs weren’t nearly as bad as those on my upper half.
“Jacqueline, we don’t have to do this—”
I shut him up as I pressed my mouth against his, my hands finding the button to his jeans and quickly unzipping him, reaching for the erection I felt when his body was pressed against mine. I gasped when I felt him; he was huge and thick and I wondered if my body would be able to take him. Elliott started to unbutton my pants and quickly slid them down, feeling around my bare ass that my thong exposed. I was dripping wet as I tugged his boxer briefs down and felt his warm, hard cock under my palm. I pulled away from our kiss to look down at him and I immediately got to my knees, desperately needing to have him in my mouth.
“Fuck, your cock is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” I said as I looked up at him, then opened my mouth wide to take him in.
I could only wrap my lips around the head of his cock; he was too fucking big for anything else. I moved my hands up and down his shaft while my tongue followed, searching his eyes as I did so. He looked down at me, his eyes coated with desire, holding my hair back gently with one hand and the other hand tracing my lip with his thumb. I kept looking between his god-like abs and his lustful eyes. His tongue traced his bottom lip as he stared down at me, his eyebrows pulled together in concentration.
“Come here,” he said before he took my hand and lifted me to my feet, guiding me to the couch behind us.
He sat me down and slowly removed my thong, throwing them over his shoulder before spreading open my thighs and getting to his knees. I watched his muscled arms contract as he took my legs and put them over his shoulders, eyeing my pussy hungrily before pressing his mouth to it.
“Holy fucking shit,” I breathed as he buried his tongue inside of me, his nose practically rubbing my clit as he looked up at me with a smile.
He quickly removed his face as he stared up at me. “Come on my face, Jacqueline. I want to make you come until your legs tremble on my shoulders.” He buried his face into me again and swirled his tongue against my clit, the pleasure so intense that it made me come instantly. I felt the vibration of his moan on me, forcing another orgasm and only giving me a few seconds before the build of another, then another.
“Please,” I cried. “I need you inside of me, Elliott.”
He lifted his head up and quickly hovered over me, pressing his mouth to mine, the taste of myself on his lips turning me on even more. He was suddenly lifting me up with his arms underneath my knees as I held onto his shoulders. His eyes never left mine as he stood up, his gaze unwavering and intense, and easily thrust inside of me, jerking his hips up and bouncing me on his cock.
“Oh my God!” I moaned loudly, his cock perfectly hitting my g-spot, a fierce orgasm building.
“Fuck, you take my cock so well,” he grunted, seemingly not even breaking a sweat as he continued to bounce me up and down.
His dirty talk instantly had my pussy seizing and making me come; I didn’t even have time to think before he laid me back down on the couch and lifted my legs to his chest, quickly pushing his cock into me and furiously pounding.
“Tell me if you can’t take it, baby,” he exhaled, holding my calves as he stared down at me.
“Your cock is fucking perfect.” I smiled, pushing my hips against him as he continued to pound me.
“You keep talking like that and you’re gonna make me come, baby.” He grinned, clenching onto my legs tighter.
“As long as you let me taste it,” I quickly responded, putting my hands up to his arms.
He grunted as he pounded me harder before he lifted me up, his cock still inside me, and sat on the couch as I straddled him.
“I need to make you come more. Seeing you come fucking turns me on more than anything,” he said as he took my hips and started to grind me against him.
I paused, unsure of myself. I hadn’t been on top in…many, many years. I was never able to do anything remotely like this with… him . Did I still even know how to get off like this?
He could sense my hesitation. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…I haven’t been in this position in a really long time,” I admitted. “Do you think I can make you come like this?”
He smiled and put his big hands to my cheeks. “It doesn’t matter if you make me come, baby. Your pleasure is all that matters.”
My heart dropped to my pussy. I immediately began to grind on him, moving my hips up and down, our eye contact never breaking. He took my ass with his hands and helped me grind up and down on his length, my orgasm quickly approaching.
“Come on, baby. Come on my cock,” he ordered, and his words spiraled me into an intense orgasm, my body quivering as I chased the pleasure that felt better than anything I’d ever felt.
He waited until I slowed my hips to kiss me fervently, then lifted me off his cock and pushed me down onto the floor on my knees. He took his cock in his hand and began to stroke, his other hand gently holding onto the back of my head.
“Come in my mouth. Please,” I begged, bouncing on my knees, my nipples hardened at the sight of him masturbating.
He suddenly pushed my head down to his cock and grunted loudly, spurts shooting into my mouth, his warm and salty cum pooling there as I waited for his last drop. He watched me as I opened my mouth to show him and I smiled as I swallowed, then opened my mouth to display it.
“Jesus Christ, Jacqueline.” He leaned down and lifted me up, my wet pussy sliding against his cock, as he began to urgently kiss me again.
I giggled as we parted, unable to contain my excitement; I couldn’t remember the last time I giggled . I almost didn’t realize that my button up shirt had opened and started to reveal the hideous white scars on my stomach until Elliott quickly glanced down at my breasts. I hurriedly buttoned up the bottom, leaving my breasts on display.
“You don’t have to hide them from me, Jacqueline. I think you’re so God damn beautiful, inside and out.” He was so earnest and sweet even after he just came into my mouth.
I tried to hide my smile as I looked down at his perfect chest and abs, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
“Yeah, well, your opinion might change once this shirt is off.” I sighed as I stood up and grabbed my underwear.
I knew that when I turned to face him, he would see Michael’s name carved on the top of my thighs, if he hadn’t already. I suddenly felt Elliott’s hands on my shoulders, his soft lips pressed to the side of my neck. I turned around to look up at him, almost too distracted by his body and semi-hard cock pressing against me.
His eyes boring into mine made my knees weak.
“Elliott…if this is going to work, I have a lot to tell you.”