Now
I turned my phone off once I made it safely into the hotel only a few minutes away from Elliott’s house. I ran a hot bath and soaked in the tub, my salty tears mixing with the clean water.
Michael hired Elliott. Michael gave Elliott money to watch me like a fucking spy. I felt like I didn’t even know who he was anymore. He was a private investigator on the side? What the fuck? Did he go to New York just to follow me? Was Kate real? Was any of it real? He said it was but how was I going to believe someone who fucking followed me and lied about it? His charming smile, his persistent attempts to talk to me on the plane, giving me his card—it was all just a ploy to get closer to me, wasn’t it? Pretending to be such a fucking gentleman. But…he was a gentleman. He made me feel safe and loved. But how could I ever forgive him for this? How could I ever trust him again? He knew my past and was too fucking selfish to tell me the truth. He got me into this deep love affair by fucking lying to me.
And Michael—Michael knew exactly where I was. He was in LA, taking pictures of me and Elliott. Did he know where I worked too? Did he know where I was while I stayed at the hostel? Of course he did. I’m sure Elliott told him. And then Elliott coaxed me into moving in with him.
Fuck .
I fell asleep in the bathtub. I woke up gasping, the cold water sloshing around as I quickly sat up, remembering where I was and the nightmare that had followed me across the country. Sunlight shone through the window in the hotel room. Awesome, almost accidentally drowning? I’m doing fucking great .
I turned my phone on and a flood of texts came through, all from Elliott.
Jacqueline, once you’ve slept on it, please come back.
I am not “in cahoots” with Michael, baby. I never was.
I love you. Everything between us has been real. I haven’t lied to you about anything, baby.
I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. I never wanted this to happen. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you. The only thing Michael did was hire me. I didn’t know anything else, I swear.
Good morning. Please call me. I love you.
My finger hovered over the message box. I wanted to reach out to him; I missed him so fucking much. But did he deserve my time? Did he deserve the opportunity to explain himself? Before I could change my mind, I turned my phone off again. Realizing I had to work in just a couple hours, I showered, got dressed, and took an Uber to work.
I was thankful that I had work to keep my mind occupied. Although there was a dull ache deep in my chest, the restaurant was busy enough to keep my thoughts focused on what was happening right in front of me.
There was only an hour until closing. Things were just starting to slow down when our host eyed me and tilted his head toward the corner of the restaurant, indicating we had a new diner in my area.
I pulled out the tablet we used to take orders and stopped in my tracks when I looked up and realized who was sitting there, smiling at me smugly: Michael. Fucking. Barnes. I was sure I was about to have a heart attack; my throat constricted, my chest tightened, and my whole body buzzed with fear. I don’t know how my legs started to move towards him, but somehow, I got closer as my heart pounded against my lungs.
“Hello, sweet Jackie.” His deep voice and Irish accent still did things to me, and I hated myself for it.
“What are you doing here?” My weak voice sounded so foreign to me in this setting, where bubbly Jackie was front and center.
Michael smiled and lifted his brows, eyeing me up and down.
“You look well. Have you lost weight? Or gained? I can’t tell. Something is different though.”
Of course, he would immediately try to belittle me and my appearance. He looked exactly the same, except for the strands of gray in his beard and hair. He looked so fucking hot, and I hated myself for thinking it.
“Are you here to eat or to ask me my fucking weight?” I wasn’t surprised at my courage peeking through—we were in public, at my workplace, where he couldn’t do anything to me.
He laughed, and despite my best efforts, my insides melted. His laughter sent a shiver down my spine, and my heart stung at how much I still reacted to him. The sight of him made my pulse quicken and heat soar through my body.
“Neither,” he said, his eyes locking onto mine with a familiar intensity. “I’m here to take back what’s mine.”
No.
I laughed nervously. “What, can’t find any other of your victims? Didn’t get the help from your private investigator? Or does he just focus on one person at a time?”
He looked surprised. “He told you.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “Of course he told me.”
Michael smiled again. “Much to your dismay, hm? I’m surprised the lad even took any interest in you.”
That’s what pushed my anger over the edge. “And why do you still have any interest in me, Michael?”
He put his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Out of all the women I’ve ever been with, you’re the one who was the most submissive, the easiest to control, the easiest to manipulate.” He chuckled to himself and I stood there frozen, trying to grasp my reality. “I’ll never find anyone as fucking weak as you, sweet Jackie. That’s why you’re perfect for me.”
I hated myself. I hated the way all of his other words were thrown out the window because of his last declaration. My mind threw all logic out the window. My years of therapy were instantly fizzled away like magic. All I had wanted for so long was to be his. And now he was admitting to me that he still wanted me.
“ There’s that spark in your eye, sweet Jackie. I know you still want me.” He looked so pleased with himself—and with me. “After work, you’re coming back to my hotel. And you will be my pet, baby. You will be my fucking puppet all over again.”
I heard dishes clanking together in the background, pulling me out of his trance. I quickly shook my head. “No.”
He looked amused as he sat back in his seat and raised his eyebrows. “No?”
“No,” I repeated. “I am not yours anymore, Michael.”
He rolled his eyes. “Okay, Jackie. If I bent you over my knee right here, right now, I know you’d be soaking wet for me.”
He wasn’t wrong. But just because my body wanted him didn’t mean I wanted him.
“Everything okay here, Jackie?” My co-worker’s voice startled me as I whipped my head back in her direction.
“Yeah uh, actually…could you take this one? I need to leave. It’s an emergency, Meg. I’ll tell Lauren.”
My poor co-worker nodded at me sympathetically. “Of course, babe. Go ahead. I got this.”
I didn’t even bother to look back at Michael; all I knew was that I needed to get out of there. Immediately .
I went into the break room to gather my belongings and turned my phone on. There were more texts from Elliott, but I didn’t read them; instead, I called him. He answered right away.
“Jacqueline,” he breathed, sounding relieved. “I’ve been so fucking worried.”
“Michael is here,” I blurted out. “He’s at my work. Please come get me. Please come now.” The lump in my throat finally took over, and I began to bawl, not even realizing my whole body was shaking until I sat down.
“Jesus Christ. I’m on my way. Are you inside? Are you safe?” I heard keys banging together as if he were running to his car.
“Yes, I’m in the break room. We don’t close for another hour,” I explained through my tears.
“Stay on the line with me, baby.” I heard his car start and an engine revving, tires screeching.
“Please tell me you didn’t know. Please tell me you really love me, Elliott. Please.” I put my knees up to my chest and hugged them with one arm while the other held my phone to my ear.
“Yes, baby, I love you. I love you more than anything. I swear to God I had no idea what he did to you.” His voice was panicked and it scared me; hearing him unraveled was unnerving.
His words didn’t stop the ache in my chest, the utter devastation and betrayal I felt. But I loved Elliott— that I knew. And I needed him, especially now. If he wasn’t in my life, I would already be bent over Michael’s knee.
“I love you, Elliott. I’m scared,” I admitted.
I was not only scared of Michael but also of how much I already loved Elliott and how my heart was already broken by both of them.
“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, baby. I’m right here. I will be there in just a few minutes, okay?”
Meg walked in and interrupted my thoughts as she bent down and put her hand to my shoulder. “Babe, you okay?”
I shook my head. “No. That man out there—he’s my ex. He’s my abusive fucking ex,” I cried to her.
She gasped. “Oh God, Jackie. Are you okay? He fucking bolted right after you walked away.”
Relief suddenly flooded my entire body.
“Oh, thank God.” I sighed.
“I’ll make sure Lauren bans him. Fucking loser,” Meg huffed.
“Thanks. I’m on the phone with my boyfriend. He’s picking me up now,” I explained.
My boyfriend .
“Good,” Meg said as she stood up. “I’ll keep an eye out.” She patted my shoulder and walked out.
“Elliott?” I said into the phone.
“I’m here, baby.” He was starting to sound relieved. “I’m about five minutes away.”
I nodded and my head pounded with a sudden headache.
“Okay. Call me when you’re here. I need to gather my thoughts.” I hung up.
I needed to gather all the facts—I needed to think . This is what I knew: Michael hired Elliott to see what I was up to. Was he still in prison then? And when exactly did he get out? Elliott found out that I was boarding a plane to LA—how? And then he got the seat directly next to me. He befriended and disarmed me with his smile and gentleness. He gave me his card, hoping I’d call him. But he knew my number anyway, didn’t he? He had to have known. Then Michael began harassing me again— and Elliott? When did Elliott tell him to fuck off? Or did he ever? So many questions ran through my head as my phone buzzed in my hand.
Elliott walked through the back to come get me. He took my hand without saying a word; his eyes were concerned and focused as he led me to his car, opened the door for me, and then hopped in next to me. He sped off onto Beverly Blvd and reached over to take my hand.
“Take me to my hotel. I can’t be at your house right now,” I said quietly, not moving my hand away from his, but looking out the window.
“Please let me stay with you. Jacqueline, I need to protect you. I need to figure out what Michael is trying to do,” he responded sternly.
I looked over at him and shook my head. His worried eyes met mine as we stopped at a red light.
“He’s trying to get me back. He said he was here to take back what’s his.”
Elliott’s eyebrows lifted as he scoffed. “Is that what he said? That motherfucker,” he muttered through gritted teeth.
The light turned green.
“I think he’s right, Elliott,” I murmured, feeling like I was punched in the gut. “I think I am his. I wanted to go with him tonight, but I snapped out of it. But deep down, I wanted to go.”
Why am I telling him this?
Elliott only shook his head and clenched his jaw. My gaze kept steadily on him.
“Baby, he put you through so much. He fucked with your mind. I’m sure seeing him again stirred up all kinds of feelings but I know you would never get back with him; you’re stronger than that now.”
I rolled my eyes. He didn’t know me at all. I wasn’t strong; I would always be weak, naive, sweet Jackie.
“I’m at the Hollywood Hotel, just before your house,” I said, ignoring him.
He kept quiet as we continued to drive east.
“Can we talk?” His voice sounded sad and defeated.
“About you working with Michael?” I asked, the anger from earlier bubbling back into my chest.
He sighed heavily. “Will you let me explain?”
I shrugged and crossed my arms as I looked out the window.
“I got a call from him a few days before we met on the plane,” he began, and I resisted every urge to yell that he stalked me onto the plane. “He told me that he wanted to know what an ex-girlfriend was up to. I figured he just wanted to reconnect with an old flame and see if she was involved with anyone. So I looked into you—the very basics. I knew your name, where you lived in New York, where you worked. I spoke with some of your old co-workers and they told me you were moving to LA. I figured out what flight you were taking and got the seat next to you. All I planned to do was make friendly conversation, but you seemed to hate me from the beginning, which surprised me since I didn’t realize why. I planned to give Michael the simple information I gathered—that you had moved to LA. And I gave you my card because I actually wanted to get to know you; it wasn’t under the guise of trying to gather information on you. And then…then I instantly fell in love with you. And when I found out what he did to you, I told him I wasn’t going to work for him and gave him his money back. He started harassing you, and I figured out that he blocked me when I tried to confront him. Then he began harassing both of us and…and now here we are.”
I blinked back tears as I continued to look out the window, unable to face him. I wanted to reach over and tell him I was scared, that he was the only person in the world who made me feel safe, even after what I had learned. I wanted to tell him that I loved him so fucking much and that he made me feel so loved and wanted. But instead, I stewed in my anger and fear, knowing that my instincts had led me down the wrong path over and over again.
Elliott kept quiet as we approached my hotel. He quickly got out and opened my door for me, then took my hand; I gave in and held onto his. I stopped before we entered the lobby, looking up at him and shaking my head.
“Please. I need some time. You’re close; if anything happens, I’ll call you right away.”
He looked like he was about to cry, or worse…that he was scared.
“At least let me walk you to your room,” he pleaded.
I shook my head again. “You need a card to get in every door. It’s safe. I’ll be fine.” What great famous last words .
Elliott gulped and then softly squeezed my hand. “I love you, Jacqueline.”
I nodded. “I know.” I love you too . I let go of his hand, swiped my card for the lobby door, and quickly walked in, tears streaming down my face.
I sluggishly walked into the elevator, went up to my floor, and swiped the key to my room.
Heat rose to my cheeks and fear consumed my body once I shut the door behind me and realized I wasn’t alone. He sat on the lone arm chair beside the bed with a devious glare and a smile on his face.
“Hello, sweet Jackie.”