Chapter 41
forty-one
RHYS
My omega goes limp in Cillian’s arms, melting into his embrace.
White-hot envy sears my stomach as she unconsciously buries her face against his throat. Seeking his scent. Trusting him.
If only for a moment.
It seems he’ll get more than a few brief seconds, though, because Briar is asleep before any of us manage to speak. Dane confirms she’s out by brushing her hair back, revealing her slack features and parted lips.
Cillian snarls, rending the air in the enclosed gazebo.
Dane steps back, casting me a sheepish look. Right. Neither of us should be touching her while she’s knotted with our pack alpha for the first time.
The beast in my middle roars, violently shoving me toward our mate. I grit my teeth, holding myself back. Huffing down her scent to convince him everything is alright.
Until Dane mutters, “We have to get her inside. It’s going to be brutally cold when this rain stops.”
He has a point. We’ve fogged up the warped, antique glass in here—which tells me the wind blustering in from the bluffs must be chilly.
Cillian leans back and peers down our omega, sighing over a growl. “Fine. But I’ll have to carry her like this. And we need to go straight to the nest. It’s the only room in the house that isn’t neutralized.”
The nest.
My heart drops as my throat thickens. It’s mortifying how many times I’ve pictured my mate inviting me into their nest. And now I have to do it like this. When I’m pretty damn sure she wouldn’t want me in there. Not after I—
Hurt her.
So much.
So many times.
I’ll never be able to apologize enough. And she’ll probably never forgive me.
Part of me is glad for that. It’s sick, but I want to suffer for this.
I get my wish the second we finally walk back into the manor. It’s dark and quiet—all the staff have finished their work and whatever threats Dane made to security before the rest of us followed him outside were very effective.
Yet despite the silent, dim ballroom, my head suddenly pounds.
Now I know—the source for this pain? It’s been my Alpha, feral for his mate. It only went away because we were near her.
But now that I’ve scented her? And cut him off from that scent?
I barely make it across the circular space. As the others march into the foyer, I collapse against the carved archway, clutching my skull with both hands.
My packmates halt, each turning to snap at me. I can’t hear them, though—I can’t do anything, other than curl my fingers against my scalp. Bowing my head and praying I won’t fall face-first to the unyielding marble floor.
Dane starts toward me but I lift my hand, waving him off. “No,” I grit. “I need to—”
Feel it.
This pain is what I deserve. God, I’ve earned it.
Shoving her into walls. Calling her Cillian’s whore. Barking at her. Shoving my cock down her throat without bothering to find out if she’d ever taken one before.
Waking up every day with my mate right here… unable to recognize her because I was too fucked in the head.
The memories swirl into a soup of misery, melding with the piercing, insistent pain poking through both temples. The hallway starts to blur. I try to breathe deeper, but every inhale is so fucking wrong without her scent.
I’m not the only one on the edge of a cliff. Dane growls, only just managing not to bark. “Rhys. We have to go. Now.”
But I know I can’t. Shouldn’t.
Won’t.
Because that woman is my mate.
And I’d die before I let a monster into her nest.