Chapter 6 – Rosalind
CHAPTER 6
ROSALIND
Stifling heat threatens to overwhelm me as he continues to hold on to me, rocking me as if I were a child. I don’t hate it, exactly, but it still makes my insides squirm. When was the last time someone just held me?
I comb through my memories, going as far back as my mind will let me. Our maid hugged me at times, but it was more perfunctory than anything. Jacob sure as hell never held me. Even when he apologized for hitting me again, gracing me with a half-hearted arm around my shoulders, he didn’t so much as address the injured area.
Not only is this stranger comforting me, but he’s also purring, doing everything an Alpha can do to put me at ease. Perhaps I was wrong about him? Leaning up, I look into his eyes, the vision blurred by my tears. Do I dare trust him?
Pushing away, I wrap my arms around my waist. This is all too fast, too sudden. And yet, everything in me screams to fall back into his arms and allow him to take care of me. If only I had met Michael first.
Unfortunately for both of us, this sort of interaction makes me nervous. It’s too sweet, too kind. When will he morph into the Alpha monster I know he is? With Jacob, it took about two weeks. After that ‘honeymoon’ period, all bets were off.
With Michael, would it be sooner, later, or somewhere in between? Feeling self-conscious, I look back into his eyes, seeking out any hint of anger. But I find none. Oddly enough, his eyes look sad somehow. But why?
I need to break the tension, to get us out of this intimate space. “So,” I stumble about, desperate to find an avenue of conversation. “Since I was your good girl and said,” lowering my voice, I feel the flush creeping back up, “cock, does that mean you’re going to spank me now?”
Of all the conversations I could have started, this is the one I pick? There’s no way this won’t turn awkward. Still though, I need to understand, to know his terms and what they mean on a physical level.
Is spank code for a beating? After Jacob, I feel like I can handle almost anything, but only if I can prepare and brace for it. Gripping the sheets under my fingers, I wait for him to speak, but the silence extends for what feels like an eternity.
“Do you feel like you earned a spanking?” he finally says, shattering the gulf between us.
“I… well. I don’t think… that is… look, I just don’t know, okay? It’s like you’re speaking a completely different language. Do I want a spanking? No. Have I earned one? Probably. I’ve been an ass to you. But I apologized. That should be enough.” Then why is there still a niggle of guilt that just won’t let go?
Again, he stares at me, crossing his arms, refusing to speak. What? Does he want me to keep babbling? To spill my secrets and confess my crimes? Does he want me to berate him out loud for a dynamic he has no say in?
“What’s troubling you?”
“You, you oaf. You’re what’s troubling me. When are you going to act like a real Alpha and just stop with all this pretending?”
His left eyebrow raises, a slow movement that has my insides squirming and my pussy tingling. This is definitely something different between him and Jacob. My ex never made me throb with just a look. Michael, on the other hand, is going to force me to spend my budget on new clothes since my current ones keep getting so wet.
“Pray tell what a ‘real Alpha’ is like? I fear I haven’t received that memo.” His words are soft enough, gentle even, and yet, there’s a bite to them.
“I—You know. Just… mean, ogreish…” I trail off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
“Abusive?” His strong fingers stroke my jaw with such tenderness it makes my heart ache.
“Yeah. That one.” Hanging my head in shame, I refuse to look at him.
Besides, I don’t want to see either the pity or satisfaction that’s sure to be dancing in his eyes. And yet, when he forces my gaze up, it’s anger that blazes from those deep brown depths. It should make me quake with fear, and yet, I still feel perfectly safe being as close to him as I am.
“Did Jacob hit you?”
“I don’t have to answer that.”
“You damn well do,” he growls out, sliding out of the bed so he can pace about.
“I’m not on trial here.”
He whirls around, stealing my breath with the hot, possessive look that crosses his face. “And I’m not standing here as the DA. I’m not here as an agent of the law. I’m here as your husband, as the man who has a vested interest in your well-being.”
“Yes!” I scream out, tossing my hands in the air. “Is that what you want? You want me to tell you how he slapped me if I said something he didn’t like? You want me to regale you with the mean and nasty words he said to me when no one else was looking? Or what about the fact that he’d be the kindest, nicest man in the world, giving me everything I wanted, just as long as there was an audience? But the moment we were alone, he’d lay into me, spouting off about how I was a user and did nothing for him.”
Tears pour from my eyes both from anger and sorrow. This time, when Michael steps forward, pain shining in his gaze, I hold him at bay, my hands shaking as I fend him off. “So yeah, spank me. Just get it over with. Because I’d like to know who I’m saddled with now, in the beginning. I need to know what I’m stuck with for these next six months.”
Silence hangs between us as he drops his hands to his side. “We talked a lot about your rules, Little Rosalind, but we haven’t discussed mine.”
I snort. “Your rules? As if an Alpha has rules.”
“I do. I’m not just any Alpha. First and foremost, I’m your Alpha. I’m your husband. Hopefully, someday, I can be your Daddy.”
My lips curl into a sneer as I turn my head away. “I already have a father.”
“I said Daddy. There’s a hell of a difference. For one, I would hope your father doesn’t think about your body the same way I do. I would hope he doesn’t want to strip you bare just to kiss and worship every curve you own.”
I struggle to breathe as I look back at him, noting the molten look in his eyes. He’s serious. Does he actually see me like this? Like he wants nothing more than to devour me?
“More to the point,” he continues, “as your Daddy, it would be my job and responsibility to see to your safety and happiness. I can’t keep you safe if I’m the one harming you. And I sure as hell can’t keep you happy if I’m causing you nonconsensual pain.”
“Who the hell is consenting to pain?” At my question, his cock once more becomes hard, surging up, long and thick.
“Trust me, after a taste of what I can give you, you’ll be begging for more.”
“I don’t beg.”
“Maybe not yet,” he groans, cupping his balls and squeezing, “but soon, you will.”
“You’re crazy,” I whisper, huddling back into myself.
“The jury is still out on that one.” At his teasing tone, I can’t resist the smile that tilts my lips. “Anyway. On to the rules. Rule number one: Your safety and happiness is paramount. Now, that doesn’t mean you’ll always get your way. But it does mean I will take your feelings into consideration at all times.”
“No chores?” I cry out, desperately hoping that means I won’t have to cook.
“Nice try.” He chuckles. “But I can’t afford to give you money and hire a maid. So, that can be your choice. Do nothing but have to ask me for every little thing you want to buy.”
I hang my head, realizing that freedom is worth way more than a measly meal every night. “Fine. I concede.”
“Good girl. I figured you’d appreciate that. Rule number two: I will never strike you out of anger. If there comes a time when I’m upset, I will put you in a corner and walk away until I’m collected. It goes without saying that I will never abuse you.”
“Spanking can be seen as abusive, you know.” Nervousness floods my system as my heart beats in a rapid staccato.
“Not the way I do it. Besides, that leads to the next rule. Rule number three: punishment will always come with a discussion first. You will never have to wonder if you’re in trouble with me. You’ll never have to walk around in fear, never knowing when I’m going to come at you. All discussions will be calm and collected. If not, see the rule before.”
“But there’s no guarantee you’ll even follow those rules.”
He sighs and extends his hand. “I know, babygirl. And that’s where trust comes in. I know you just met me, but if you allow me to, I’ll invoke rule number four: I will love you and care for you with all my being.”
I stare at the hand, so inviting. Do I dare? Can I actually trust this behemoth of a man who wants to be my Daddy?
Even now as the word swims about in my brain, I can’t decide how I feel about it. On the one hand, there’s that taboo element, the idea of calling someone else any form of a father figure. Just thinking the word causes my pussy to throb and my core to ache.
A large part of me does crave the idea of a man actually loving me, caring for me, nurturing me. It’s something that’s been absent my entire life, something I never knew I needed until this moment. On the other hand, there is a part that’s scared—scared of change, of trust, of believing that this Alpha truly is different. More importantly, though, I’m terrified of how much loving him will hurt.
“I-I like the idea of rule number four,” I finally admit. “But I don’t know if I’m there yet. I suppose this trial period could be a good way to decide that?”
“I agree. Declaring love for someone, deep love, the type I long to have with an omega of my own, is not something to just jump into. I think your plan is very smart. At the end of six months, we’ll renegotiate and see where we are.”
My breath leaves my lungs in a fast whoosh. Six months. I can endure anything for six months. And after, if he proves to be just like Jacob, I can easily petition for a divorce. Granted, separation is the last thing on my mind right now, especially with how damned delectable Michael looks and smells.
But there’s still that nagging issue about the spanking. There’s no way he can make something so violent feel so good. Mulling over the issue, I almost don’t notice him crouch down in front of me.
Reaching up, he smooths the deep furrows in my brow, releasing tension I didn’t even realize was there until it was gone. “You don’t need these muscles right now,” he murmurs. “They can relax. What has you thinking so hard?”
“The spanking.”
He pulls back and laughs, the throaty sound playing over my skin until I squirm under the onslaught. “Am I really that scary and threatening?”
“Ummm. Dude, have you seen your hands? Pretty sure they can smack through concrete.”
“Do you want to try for me? Do you want to feel for yourself instead of just guessing and agonizing?” His voice is deep, husky, and does all the right things in all the wrong places.
Crossing my legs, I squirm, unsure of how to answer. “I… well… I mean, yeah, but… Will it hurt?”
“It doesn’t have to. Do you want it to?”
“What type of question is that? Who wants pain?” Again, confusion flits about my mind, muddling everything.
Prowling forward, he climbs onto the bed, his cock jerking with each movement. “Some do. But we won’t know until we try, will we? I won’t ask you to be my good girl and do this for me, because refusing doesn’t make you bad. I need you to understand that. I want you to try because you want it. Not because you feel I’m trapping you or coercing you.”
There’s a desperation in his voice, a longing that matches the need flowing through me. Besides, how hard can it be? So he spanks me. I’ll either like it or not.
“Can you put some clothes on first? It’s distracting.”
“Oh,” he teases, leaning back so I can see his massive erection. “You find me distracting? That’s a good start.”
“You know you look good, but I’m not sure if I should puff up that head of yours anymore.”
“Hmmm. You have a point.” With a large grin, he glances down at his cock. “Besides, I’m not sure if it can get any bigger, but I think if anyone can make that happen, it’s you.”
Precum pearls at his tip, releasing that deep, masculine scent of his into the air. My mouth waters for a moment, and I lick my lips, not even thinking about what my action would do to him. Arousal perfumes the air, and I realize it’s not just his, it’s mine too.
“Babygirl, if you keep looking at me like that, I might have to forgo spanking and use my fingers somewhere else.”
“I… um… I—” My mouth goes dry as I look up at him, stammering as incoherency threatens to take over.
“How badly do you want me to spank you?”
“I-I don’t know. I just… I’m scared.” The last word is barely a whisper, but it encompasses everything that’s been going on in my head since I even found out there was supposed to be a wedding.
“Are you willing to trust me?”
Do I dare ? Not trusting my voice, I nod.
“Normally, when I give a proper spanking, I like the ass to be bare. I’m going to pull these pretty pajama bottoms off you now. Can’t have them get in the way of me touching you. All of you.”
My breaths come out in pants as the dark intention swirls in his eyes. God in heaven, what did I just agree to? Biting down on my lower lip, I lean back, allowing him access to the band around my waist.
It’s too late to back out now. Desperation coats my insides as he leans forward. I need to know what it is that his eyes and hands promise. I need to feel. I need… I need a Daddy?