Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Anastasia
I stirred from my slumber. My body could feel the effects of the night before heavily in my core.
The corner of my lips tilted upward into a small smile. It had been reckless and foolish for me to sleep with him, but it had also been so exhilarating. I had never felt more alive than I did in that moment.
I felt free, alive and beautiful.
I had only ever slept with one other man in my life, and it had only been a few times. It had meant nothing but an act of rebellion. But with Valerio, it all felt like so much more. He felt like more, and that scared me.
I had promised myself that it would only be once. It needed to be. I couldn’t risk this being a repeated offense.
I stretched my arm out expecting to feel the cold sheets, but then I felt the warmth of his body.
What?
I peeled my eyes open and came face to face with the man that had taken me to heaven and back the night before. His ocean blue eyes pierced into my gaze with a sharp precision that left my body rattling.
“Morning.” His morning voice was just as attractive as I thought it would be. It was rough and laden with that after sex bass.
Was I crazy? Possibly. But sue me, the man was the closest thing to a Greek God that I had ever seen in my life.
“You’re still here?” It came out more like a question than a statement. I had expected him to have snuck away in the middle of the night. I didn’t think that he would actually sleep with me.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I mean…” Wasn’t that what sex buddies did? They would screw around and then, before the morning came, one of them would sneak out so no one would notice?
“Do you think so low of me that I would leave you after fucking you raw?”
Yes .
Sleeping with someone meant emotion. It did release the animalistic craving that sex did. There was no need for us to do that.
But instead of saying all of that, I simply shrugged.
“Come here.” He opened his arm out to me. I moved into his embrace and laid my head on his chest as I listened to the gentle thumping of his heart. It was steady and strong, such a stark contrast to my own beating monster in my ribcage.
He moved his fingers up my spine gently. Small little tingles moved from vertebrae to vertebrae with each stroke.
My body was spent from our night of passion, and yet my core still stirred to life. I had been foolish to think that only one time would be enough for me. I should have known from the moment my lips pressed onto his that he would be the drug that I could not quit.
I had never been an addict to anything in my life, but he had become my new addiction somehow.
I was in trouble.
He brought his free hand and used his thumb to trace the outlines of my face. His touch was so gentle and soft, it was such a contrast to the man he was.
He was known for his brutality and unforgiving nature. And yet he handled me with the utmost care and gentleness.
I stared into his eyes. “You have the most beautiful eyes.”
His lips spilt into a boyish smile. The joy reached his eyes, and they twinkled ever so slightly. They changed into the most brilliant blue against the morning rays of the sun.
Oh my…
“If you wanted to get in my pants, you should have just said so,” he said in a sarcastic tone.
I rolled my eyes. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Of you? Never.” He pressed his lips down onto mine. The kiss was by no means sexual, but it still managed to rock my foundation. He could destabilize with one look, and with one kiss he had ruined me long before I had the chance to run.
When he pulled away, my heart was light. It had been a long time since I had last felt this at peace. The only other time I’d felt like that was when I had…
No. I couldn’t think about that time. I needed to focus on the here and now. The past needed to be left alone in the?—
“Hey,” Valerio grabbed my chin between his fingers. “Where did you just go?”
I forced a smile to my lips and patted his hard chest. “Nowhere, just in random thoughts.”
His eyes searched mine, looking for something. I hated how his gaze just seemed to pierce right through me. I was left there sitting bare, completely exposed, and I wasn’t talking about my nudity.
He saw me, in ways that not many others had seen me, and it was unnerving. But at the same time, it was also very freeing. I didn’t feel like I needed to pretend with him.
“Is it Sergei?” He wasn’t going to let this go.
Judging from the rage in his eyes, it was safe to say that he still didn’t like the guy.
“Yeah.” It wasn’t a total lie. “I don’t want to marry him.”
The silence that followed my confession was loud. I tore my gaze from his eyes and looked to the wall behind him. We had been trapped in these four walls for the past few hours, but the real world awaited us right outside that door.
“Then marry me.”
My eyes cut to him so fast that I felt the snap in them. I stared into those oceans of his with shock and disbelief.
“Marry me,” he said again, but he wasn’t asking. It came out more as an order rather than a request. “Marry me, cielo .”
I was at a loss for words.
How could he ask me something like that?
He waited for my answer, but I had nothing for him.
“Why do you call me that? Cielo .”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t change the subject. You owe me an answer.”
“And so do you, it seems.”
He rolled his eyes. “I can’t tell you right now. But maybe a little later down the line. Now answer my question.”
“That wasn’t a question, you more or less demanded.”
“What’s the difference?” he blinked.
I rolled my eyes before I pushed off his chest. I pulled the sheets to my chest to cover my breasts. I tucked some strand of hair behind my ear and looked to the window. The sun raised beyond the hills, signally the start of a new day. The morning cold misted against the window, and the birds chirped outside softly.
It looked so peaceful, such a striking backdrop for the home of a Mafia Queen. You would think that the Valdez family would reside in a dark hilltop lair, but Savina had turned this place into a home.
I envied that.
I was jealous of the way she was able to stay within this world and still have it all. She had her family, a man who adored her and an empire that she commanded. She was respected, feared and her people were fiercely loyal to her. She was the queen on the chessboard while I was merely a pawn.
I never got to choose. I never got to decide how my life would move. I was simply at the mercy of the men in my world who determined where to best position me.
“I can’t marry you,” I sighed. “If marriage were a choice for me, then I would want it with someone who was deeply and irrevocably in love with me. I wouldn’t want it to be some deal or obligation I had to fulfill for mine or anyone else’s safety.”
“Love will come after.” He said it so surely. “It did for my brother.”
“That’s different.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Could you see yourself loving me, or anyone, for that matter?”
He went quiet.
“You see? If I could choose who to marry, then I would want it to be for love. I don’t want to marry someone who cannot or chooses not to love me.” I let out a humorless laugh. “I know it’s childish to think like this, but I want true love. I want the kind of love I read about in books. The one that made me imagine a world without problems.”
He remained silent.
“I know you can’t give me what I want, and even if you could, my life has already been written out for me. There is no escaping what is already there.” The reality of what I was living hurt more than I cared to admit. “So… I cannot marry you, Valerio.”
Understanding reflected in his eyes. I had spent enough time with this man, at this point, that I should have known something. And yet, I knew nothing about him. He kept his heart guarded and hidden from the rest of the world. That night at the gala I had seen a glimpse into his pain, and it had been tortuous.
“Fine. You don’t have to marry me.” He lifted from his posturing and cupped the side of my face. On instinct, I leaned into his touch. “But I think we both could use some time away from this golden cage. Go on a date with me.”
“Is that a question or an order?”
“Anastasia, will you please accompany me into the city for a date today?” His tone oozed sarcasm, which only made me laugh. “I don’t understand how people do that shit. Asking.”
I threw my head back and let out a loud laugh before I calmed and remembered that this was meant to be a secret rendezvous. No one could know that he was in my room.
“Yes. I would love to accompany you.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine with a gentle kiss. I would never tire of him kissing me. It always brought a soft fluttery feeling to my chest.
Who would have thought that the big Mafia underboss would sweep me off my feet the way that he did?