Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Anastasia
E verything moved so quickly, I hardly had time to recall everything that had happened. One second, we were in the study, and the next, we were on our way to the tarmac. My mind was going a million miles a minute. The scene that had unfolded in the study played in my mind over and over again, stopping frame by frame to truly assess what the fuck had just happened.
I vaguely remember speaking to Savina and her hugging me before placing me into the car.
I knew that it was bad because she looked a little flustered. And Savina Valdez did not get flustered. She was the Ice Queen for a reason.
Fuck .
I had dismantled years of work my brother had put together in a matter of seconds. He knew that I wasn't a virgin. To make matters worse, he was probably presuming Valerio was the reason, which wasn’t true. I had lost my virtue long before I had given myself to Valerio, but it didn’t matter. I had just cost my family everything.
If I hadn’t been sitting, I would have collapsed.
The trip to the airport was spent in silence. When Valerio opened the door so I could get out of the car and onto the jet, I didn't utter a single word. But that was simply because I was waiting until we were locked away on the aircraft and he couldn’t run away from me. I needed answers. He couldn’t just leave for two weeks without a trace and then come back and suddenly blow up my life.
He didn't get to do that to me.
War. The one thing I had tried so hard to avoid had finally found its way to my doorstep.
My blood curdled as I thought of all the lives that were likely to be lost. I had always wanted to be selfish and to do things for myself. But why was it that, when I chose myself, it meant that others needed to suffer?
Valerio helped me into the aircraft that had been waiting for us. I allowed him to buckle me into my seat for take-off and set there locked in with shock, unable to say or express the chaos and uncertainty that riddled my body. All the while I felt his eyes on me. They pierced right into my soul and tried to peel away at my protective layer.
We had only reached peak altitude for a minute before he finally broke the thick silence. “Your silence is scaring me, cielo .”
“ I am scaring you?” My voice was hoarse from my dry throat. I tried to clear it away, but it did nothing to soothe it. “I need some water.”
I unbuckled my belt and got up from my seat to make my way to the galley. I only managed to take half a step before he grabbed my arm in his seat.
“Let me go, Valerio.” The shock had waned away now, and all that remained was the anger and the hurt that he had left me to deal with.
“Talk to me, cielo .”
That name… it was like a blade to my skin. What was once a unique sentiment only caused a subtle ache to move through my entire body now.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” I tried to pull my arm away, but he only held onto me tighter. “Valerio!”
“Then scream.” He stepped up toward me. “Then scream at me, Anastasia. Kick, scream and even punch me if you must. I don’t fucking care, as long as you speak to me.”
“I put my brother’s life on the line! I just signed his death sentence, and for what? For a man who doesn’t even want me!” I ripped my arm from his hold and allowed the hurt to pour into me. “Sergei could be hunting down my brother as we speak. I can't relax and calm down. My world has essentially turned to shit, and all you can do is stand and say, ‘Speak to me?’. You broke me when you left, Valerio. You told me to trust you, and look at what happened because of that.” My vocal cords squeezed when I said the last part. “I let you in. I broke my walls down for you.”
Him leaving had done more damage than I cared to admit. It left me feeling abandoned and forgotten. I was simply but an afterthought, someone he didn’t care to take with him.
I was being dramatic, I knew, but when you have been treated like a pawn in a game of power and thrones your whole life, every little thing made you feel disposable. He had been the first man to make me feel seen. To make me feel important. I had been told by my brother many times over that I was an important part of restoring our family’s legacy, so why did I feel like I was a disposable piece on his board?
“ Cielo …”
“No, Valerio. I’m tired of you only giving me little crumbs of information. I want to know the whole truth now. I deserve that much from you.”
“Can we talk about this later? Let me just hold you, please.” He reached for me again, but I pulled away. The last thing I wanted was to refuse his touch, but I knew I had to.
“No. We need to talk about this now . I can't keep doing this damned back and forth with you, Valerio.” My heart wanted to scream the three words I had locked inside of myself for weeks, but I kept them down. I needed to restrain myself. “You left me. Don’t you get that? You left me to fend for myself without a single trace. I called and texted, wondering when you would be back, or if you would ever come back for me.”
“How could I not come back for you?” He reached for me, but I pulled away. The pained look was enough to have my resolve cracking, but I held my ground. “I meant what I said. I needed to come up with a plan, and that meant that I needed to leave.”
“You should have told me.”
He scratched the back of his head. “I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was just— fuck . I’m not good at this feelings shit, cielo . I don’t know how to say what is inside so that you can understand. My words mix themselves up and then… then the fear kicks in. I am a fuck-up, I know I am. I have more scars on me than I care to admit. I am impulsive, hot headed, and I can be dark, and you… you are all things light and good. You are the very best that this world has to offer, and I don’t deserve you, but I’m a selfish motherfucker and I can’t stand the thought of any other man claiming you when you belong to me. I meant what I said when I said that we are inevitable. In every lifetime, every universe, every season, it will always be you and me.”
The wire that I had placed over my heart slowly began falling away. I held onto whatever little resolve I had left in me. The truth was that I wanted this man. I had wanted this man from the moment I’d first seen him. But the fear of stepping out of line again kept me rooted to my spot.
“Where were you?” I needed to know. I was done with men always telling me to trust them and just follow them with blind faith. I needed answers.
“I went to see his uncle,” he said. “Sergei isn’t the true head of his family, and joining with your brother was only meant to legitimize his claim for his family throne. The man is crooked. His Uncle Alex was meant to take over, but he was blindsided by his nephew, who took over and forced him to leave America and head back home to Russia where he recuperated and began to rebuild. Sergei knows the danger his uncle poses, and he is going to use it to make sure that he can keep his family empire. You and your brother were simply a ploy in his plan to secure his legacy.”
I remained silent, just trying to digest all the words he was telling me. It was a lot to take in, but at least he was finally telling me the truth. I didn't want to be left in the dark like I wasn't a part of this whole thing.
“So, what does that mean?”
“It means that with your union no longer happening, his uncle will come to collect what has been stolen from him.”
“You know he won't let me go willingly, right? If I am the key to him keeping what he has built, then that means he won't rest until he gets his way. He will come after me and try to marry me by force.”
“And that's why we are leaving. We need to get out of the country. My job was to tell Alex, and now what I need to do is to protect you. I have no grounds to kill Sergei, but Alex has every right. His throne was stolen, and by our Code, he can take it back. I gave him the necessary information that he needed, and now he will finish the job. We just need to make sure that we are as far away from the blast point as possible. He is on his way to Mallorca to meet us. We just need to convene and discuss how he will go about things. I won't let anything happen to you or your brother. You have my word.”
He reached for me again, and this time, I allowed him to pull me in toward him. My arms remained at my side. I didn't even move an inch. I just allowed him to hold me.
It was only when the first tear trailed down my face that I realize I was crying. And once it tapered off the edge of my jaw, I could not stop the onslaught of tears that followed.
“Ana…” I felt the gentle press of his lips, the side of my head and the tightening of his arms around me. “You can break. I'm right here.”
His words should not have offered me comfort, but somehow, they did. They offered me a small pocket of safety where I felt like it was okay to let all my glass shatter, and he would be there holding me upright.
“It’s okay.”
Those two words were enough to have my entire world-shattering and crumbling to the floor.
I broke. In the middle of the aircraft, twenty-two thousand feet above ground, I shattered in the very arms of the man that had held the hammer to my glass.