Chapter 1 #2
As much as my pussy spasms at that thought, it’s just too soon.
I need time to grieve, to mourn. Alec didn’t strike me as the type of Alpha who would dominate me either in bed or in the rest of my life.
Granted, it’s not as if I know that exactly.
But then, it’s not as if he did anything rough while we were just touching and feeling.
The oral and fingering was great. At least to me it was. Unfortunately, there’s only so many variations on that sort of thing before it starts to become repetitive. Penetrative sex would be different. I just knew it. The main thing is we had a connection, and that’s all that really counts.
Shaking my head, I squeeze Kessily’s arm. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be ready to pick you up. Club opens at nine tonight.”
“Sure thing. I’ll see if my men can part with me.”
“Y- you do know they’re not real. Right?” She places a hand on my forehead for a moment. “You’ll find someone else. Trust me. Alec seemed like a great guy, but obviously not the one for you. I have faith in the Governing Body. All my friends who have been matched up couldn’t be happier.”
“I know. I know. Trust the process. Got it. See you tomorrow.”
Kessily snorts. “Babe. It’s Friday night and I’m about to get beat. You really think I’m going to come over Saturday and watch movies with you? I mean, yes. I am. But nice of you to not think I would have other plans.”
“Please. The moment you have other plans is the moment we both get taken down the aisle and you know it.”
Sliding her bag up her shoulder, she crosses herself before kissing her fingertips and lifting to the sky. “I swear, if they try to pair me with some vanilla guy, I will not be happy. I’ll pull my Domme boots on so quickly that Alpha won’t even know what hit him.”
“Can I watch?”
“Duh. You’d have front-row seats. ”
Tears prick my eyes as laughter bubbles up. This time, when I give her a hug, I take a little bit to let go. She may pray for a kinky Alpha, but I just pray her match keeps her close to me. I’d hate to lose my soulmate and my best friend.
As she walks away, I pat myself down, making sure I didn’t leave anything at my desk. Before I can reach the door, a slim omega makes her way over to me, her red chaotic curls bouncing about her face.
“Jessica, wait up!”
Angie smiles and pulls me off to the side, setting off warning bells in my brain. Why would she want to talk to me before I leave? I only ever see her in the cafeteria. Usually, those who work in the genetic matching department don’t mix with others in the same building.
“Hey! I’m glad I caught you.” She glances around before pulling me further into the shadows.
What could she possibly tell me that requires such secrecy? “Is it Alec? Has he called off the experiment so soon?” Hope blossoms in my chest as I search her face. “I didn’t think he could do that.” He must love me if he’s willing to defy the Governing Body like that.
At my words, however, Angie’s face falls. “I’m sorry. I don’t have access to that sort of information. And if I did, I wouldn’t be allowed to tell you.”
“But you’re a matchmaker. You have to know.” Desperation floods my voice, turning it harsh and raspy.
Again, that look of pity crosses her face, making my stomach churn. “I’m an assistant. Not a proper matchmaker yet. Even then, we only know the omega side of things. As a matchmaker, I’d still not be able to tell you anything about the Alphas.”
Irritation races up my spine. “Then what do you need to tell me? I’m running a bit late to a dinner date.” I bite the inside of my cheek as the lie slips from my lips.
If Angie notices, however, she doesn’t say a word. In fact, she looks even more uncomfortable as she shifts back and forth on her heels.
Again, she looks around, as if seeing if anyone is eavesdropping. Whatever it is, it must be something either super important, or something I really don’t want to know.
“I- Well… Um. I don’t…” Her words start and stop as if she’s trying to find the right way to tell me.
This must mean it’s bad then. Balling my fingers into my palm, I brace myself, worrying over what it might be. Am I fired? Is she the one telling me I no longer have a job? But why her? She has nothing to do with my department.
Panic grips me for a moment. Fuck. It was because I was spying on my ex using their computers. Isn’t it? But then, shouldn’t my supervisor tell me this and not her?
Her lips move again, but then close. This is ridiculous. Whatever it is, I wish she’d just say it instead of doing all this cloak and dagger shit. I’m not sure how much more my heart can take at this moment.
Pausing once more, she tucks a bit of hair back behind her ear. “What I mean to say is, you’ve been matched.”
My vision wavers as everything goes dim for a moment. I sway a bit before grabbing onto a nearby railing to steady myself. Both relief and heartache slam into me at once, nearly making me pass out. At least I’m not fired. Not yet anyway.
But then that leaves me with confronting exactly what she said. Matched. I’m fucking matched. So soon? How could they pair me this soon? There has to be a law against this. Something. But then, it’s not as if the government really takes our feelings into consideration.
Angie reaches out and grabs my arm as she looks around the empty hallway. “Look, I’m not supposed to even tell you this, but I know how disappointed you were when Alec-”
“And there’s no chance they made a mistake? Could it be him then?”
Angie shakes her head, her lips pulling down. “I don’t know much, but I do know the omega who got paired with him. As of today, she is still within the experiment. Whoever you meet down the aisle tomorrow, it will not be him.”
Nausea bubbles in my stomach as my gut churns. This can’t be happening. What were they thinking? The only thing flitting through my head right now is what sort of Alpha are they going to pair me with?
If I thought Alec was my soulmate, would he be just like him? Or will he be so different it will be beyond jarring? Confusion muddles my brain as thoughts swirl, refusing to land.
“And the groom?” I manage to croak.
“You know I can’t-”
“Yeah, yeah. You can’t tell me. Can’t or won’t, I wonder.”
Her lips thin. “Can’t. I literally don’t have any information in my system about the Alphas. All I can say is that he’s local, whoever he is. Normally, if he’s somewhere else in the country, the omega has to go to him. Since the ceremony is downtown, he has to be in this ordinance.”
Great. He could be anybody. Hell, he could be Kenny the copy guy. Bile rises in my throat at the idea of that boring guy being my mate. Is he even an Alpha? I don’t even know. Since I thought Alec was my one and only, I didn’t really pay attention to any other men, Alpha or otherwise .
“I want Kessily to be there.” If I was going to have to go through with this governmental farce, I want my best friend front and center.
“You certainly don’t have to worry about that. She’s at the top of the list of people to request for your bridal party. But hey, at least tomorrow is a Saturday. It’s not like you have to plan this around work.”
I’m not sure what my expression looks like, but based on how Angie backs up, it must not be the most pleasant. “Gee. I have to marry a stranger and I don’t get to take off from work? Just toss the confetti and pop the champagne right now.”
“Look. I know it’s not ideal-”
“Not ideal? This whole thing is absurd! What right does the government have to interfere with marriages, anyway?”
“Shhhh. You don’t want the wrong people to hear you.”
“And do what? Oh, heaven forbid. I can’t get married because I’m in jail. Like the two are any different.”
“Please,” she begs, fear rolling off of her so hard it nearly chokes me on the sour stench.
“I can get terminated and imprisoned for even telling you this. You’re not supposed to know until the official text tomorrow.
I just… I thought it would be better hearing it from someone you know and at least kinda like. ”
Numbness pervades my limbs as I shake my head. “You’re right. This isn’t your fault. Thank you. At least I can start packing tonight.”
“I mean, you needn’t do all that. The Alpha you’re with might want to move in with you.”
A dry laugh rumbles in my chest as I pull away. “Doubt it. I have nothing to offer an Alpha.”
Not physically, anyway. My mind churns as I pull out my phone. I only have one thing an Alpha would be interested in, and I damn well refuse to give it up to some stranger the government pairs me with.
I shoot off a quick text to Kessily, telling her I changed my mind. After assuring Angie I’ll keep my mouth shut, I make my way out to hail down a cab. Tonight, I’ll lose my virginity to someone I damn well choose, and I’m not going home until I do.