Chapter Thirty-Nine
chapter thirty-nine
ISLA
“Shit!” I mutter as my earring falls onto the carpet from my hand. I bend down, searching for the sparkle in the beige carpet.
“Hey.” May wanders into my room.
My eyes water as I struggle to find my earring. I let out a shaky breath.
“Hey,” she says again, concern in her voice as she kneels to the floor next to me. “What’s going on?”
“I can’t find my fucking earring.” I throw my hands up.
She surveys the ground for less than five seconds before she spots my earring and softly puts it in my open palm.
“Thank you,” I say, a tear escaping from my eyes.
“What’s wrong sunshine?” She pulls me into her arms, both of us in our fancy dresses in a heap on the floor.
How can I explain to her what I don’t even know myself? I feel like my head is a blur. I can’t distinguish how I feel about anything. I just feel overwhelmed.
“Everything’s falling apart.” More tears fall down my face.
“How? What do you mean?”
“My parents are here.”
She pulls away from me. “Oh shit. Did Miles know about this?”
“I don’t know.” I hadn’t even thought about it. My brother is still here in Ruby Cove. I asked him to stay for the fundraiser. I wonder if they’ve seen him. Who am I kidding? Of course they have. They probably had breakfast with him before they came to blow up my morning. More like blow up my life.
“Fuck them.”
A watery laugh escapes my mouth.
“No, I’m serious,” she says. “Don’t tell me they’re succeeding in convincing you.” She gives me a stern look.
“I can’t even think about any of it right now. My mind is a mess, and I just need to focus on tonight. This event needs to be perfect if we are going to help Nora.”
May nods before wiping my wet cheeks. “Then let’s get you fixed up and get out there then, hm?”
May and I walk down Main Street in our fancy dresses, the evening breeze passing over my bare shoulders as we make our way to Nora’s gallery. As soon as I push open the door, I’m breathless. Stefan did an amazing job, and it’s exactly how I had imagined it.
Nora’s paintings hang on every wall, people stand in front of the frames admiring her work, and I smile as I take notice of how many frames have red stickers beside them, indicating that the pieces have offers on them already.
Nora gave me access to the back room in the studio, and it felt like I was walking through heaven. She told me to pick my favorites out of all the work she had out there, and there were hundreds of them. All sitting there stacked away for only the shadows to see.
When I was going through them last week, I felt so at peace. Sitting there combing through the different canvases, I finally felt like for once everything was going to work out. Until that peace was shattered into little pieces this morning, scattering all around my mind and slicing open old wounds I’d just managed to stitch back together.
White fabric drapes across the roof, and the lights around the room paint pictures across them.
There are so many people here, more than any other event we’ve been to. I’ve never seen the gallery with more than ten people in it at a time, now there’s too many to count. I have Caio to thank for that, he was on the phone for hours last week calling anyone and everyone he could think of.
Speak of the devil. Caio, Rafael and Leo walk towards us, all dressed in three-piece suits like I’d asked. They look so fucking good, they better earn us some good money. I can already see heads turning in their direction.
“Ready to make some money, ladies?” Heath’s voice startles me as he drapes his arms over mine and May’s shoulders. He’s dressed the same as the others, but he’s topped his outfit with his trusty cowboy hat and it’s perfect. I’m still convinced we should do that calendar.
“Ready,” I nod, as the others come to stand in front of us.
But I’m not so certain anymore once I meet Caio’s gaze. I haven’t seen him since he left me with my parents this morning.
After he left, we continued to talk in circles until my mind was so scrambled I couldn’t figure left from right.
I don’t even know what I think anymore. Talking with my parents was like putting a voice to all my inner doubts and insecurities. That anything I have here isn’t real, or it can’t last. That Caio is just some summer fling that won’t continue past its used by date. That painting isn’t something I can truly succeed in.
I’ve spent all summer forcing those ideas out of my head, and all it takes is one conversation with them to fill my head with those same feelings that I thought I’d left behind.
I wish they had less influence over my feelings, but my parents have the unique ability to be able to completely throw me even when I’m feeling steady.
I came here to figure out what I wanted, and I thought I found it, but all of a sudden it feels all wrong. Having them here taints the absolute bliss I had found myself in, but I can’t help but wonder if I have been walking around with rose tinted glasses on. I’m struggling to piece my mind back together.
The others wander off, leaving Caio and I standing here.
“Hey,” Caio says cautiously. Like he’s not sure how to be with me, and it just makes me feel worse.
I need him to be my compass, point me in the right direction. He’s always been that for me, and the fact that he’s nervous makes me feel even more unsettled.
“Hey.”
“So, what do you think?” He looks around the room.
“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me. This was all you, sweetheart. You take the credit.”
I nod.
He takes a step closer and wraps his arms around me. “Will you tell me what I want to know if I ask you?”
I nod again.
He taps the side of my head. “What’s going on in there?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
“How was the rest of the conversation?”
“Draining,” I sigh.
“I shouldn’t have left you there by yourself,” he shakes his head.
“It’s okay. I needed to handle it by myself.”
“You shouldn’t have to. I told you that you could rely on me and then I left when you needed support. I won’t make that mistake again.”
I thread my hands through his hair. “It’s okay,” I smile. “The conversation was hard, and it kind of…”
I don’t want to say it to him. Don’t want to say it out loud, but we promised to be more open with each other. I can’t go back on that now just because it’s hard. It’s when it’s hard that it matters the most.
“Talk to me,” he runs a knuckle along my cheek. “Please.”
“It rattled me. I don’t know maybe they’re right,” I blurt out.
His eyebrows knit together. “Right about what? About you going home?”
I shrug in response, not knowing what to say.
“Right about you having to live a life you don’t want to live? I saw you when you first got here Isla, you are not the same person now that you were then. You’re stronger. Don’t let them rattle you. By all means, if you truly believe you should go home, then do it, but make that decision on your own terms. I thought you weren’t letting people dictate what you do anymore?” He unwraps his arms from around me and I’m instantly cold.
“Well, I’m letting you, aren’t I?” I snap.
Hurt flashes across his face. “Are you seriously comparing me to them? When have I ever dictated what you do?”
“I’m considering moving my entire life across the world for you!”
“I never asked you to!” He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated. “I’ve never even asked you to stay here, as much as I wanted to drop to my knees in front of you and beg you not to leave, to take a chance on your life here with me, to tell you that I love you and I don’t know how I can ever go back to the man that I was before you came into my life, I never did. I’ve never tried to persuade you for my own benefit. So don’t compare it because it is not the same.” His eyes blaze with a fury that has never once been directed at me, and regret instantly floods my system.
His face contorts. “And here I thought that maybe you were starting to think of this place as home, starting to think of me as home.”
My mind is reeling with every word he just spoke, his confession coated with hurt, and I want to take it all away. Take my words back, but I can’t.
“I never said I’m leaving Caio, but everything feels like it’s falling apart and I’m spiraling.” I choke on a sob. “I don’t?—“
“Good evening, everyone!” Stefan’s voice booms through the microphone cutting me off.
Caio hasn’t taken his eyes from mine. He’s searching for something in them, and maybe he finds it because without another word he walks away.
“Let’s get this party started with some auctions, shall we?” Stefan continues.
“Hey,” May grabs my elbow from behind. “Are you okay? What just happened?”
I shake my head, still watching Caio weave his way through the crowd until he’s out of view. “I don’t know.”
My heart falls in my chest at the thought of being separated from him tonight of all nights. I already feel alone in this mess I’ve created for myself, and now I don’t even know what he’s thinking.
“First up, Rafael Deo!” Stefan waves Raf onto the makeshift stage we set up in here last night, he goes up there reluctantly. I promised him a week’s worth of help reorganizing the stock room at the restaurant for this.
“Rafael is the well-known owner and chef at Olive&Vine…“
Ladies mutter around us, but when I look to May beside me, her jaw is tense and her eyes are fixed on the man on the stage. I look back to Rafael and he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face as he looks straight back at her.
There’s not enough effort in me to try and figure out what these two are up to tonight.
Rafael’s date goes for six hundred euros. It’s a good start, but we’re going to need more than that to make any impact for Nora.
My brother comes up beside me. “Hey.” The nervous look in his eyes and the wariness in his voice tells me all that I need to know.
“You knew they were coming, didn’t you? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You’ve been pretty hard to track down.”
“You could’ve picked up the phone jackass,” May smacks him round the head.
“Miles, seriously?”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I only found out last night when Mom messaged asking me to have breakfast with them today when they got in.” I couldn’t have been more spot on with my guess.
“You didn’t think about giving me a heads up?”
“Honestly no. If I’d told you, you would’ve spent all night tossing and turning figuring out what you wanted to say or what they were going to say, I know what you’re like Isla.”
I tip my head at him.
“It’s true!”
“Yeah, he’s not wrong,” May chimes in.
“Okay, whose side are you on?”
“With all of this going on,” Miles gestures around us. “I didn’t want to add another thing for you to turn over in your head. I’m sorry.”
I sigh. I can’t be bothered being angry at him right now. There’s no room in my brain for anything else tonight.
My mind sparks with an idea.
“There is one way you can make it up to me.” May’s eyes glitter as she figures me out.
“What is it?” he asks.
“Get up on that stage and make us some money,” I nod to where Heath is currently being bid on.
He looks back at me with pleading eyes and I just raise my eyebrows in challenge. He looks to May and is met with the same exact look.
“Fine.”
May claps as he walks away from us up to the side of the stage where Leo is standing. He pats my brother on the back as Stefan calls him onto the stage.
Miles walks up the stairs with a feigned confidence. This isn’t his scene, and that makes this all the better. Don’t get me wrong, Miles goes to plenty of events, but putting him up for an auctioned date is a little out of his comfort zone. May and I giggle as people start bidding on him.
“What is he doing up there?” Marina’s voice is barely a whisper from behind us.
“Who?” May asks.
“My brother?”
Marina nods slowly. May and I share a confused look.
She looks like she’s seen a ghost as she looks at Miles, and I instantly remember what Leo said to me when Miles first showed up at the bar on my birthday. “Wait, do you two know each other?” I ask.
“You could say that.” She hasn’t taken her eyes from him once, tracking his every movement.
“Wait is Miles the guy?” May asks, her eyes wide.
“What guy?”
“I can’t be here,” Marina says, before turning on her heel and quickly escaping the ballroom. I look at my brother on the stage and he looks completely unbothered.
“May, what did you mean was Miles the guy?”
She shakes her head looking at Miles. “When Marina was in Sorrento for a year she met a guy, she never told me his name, but she thought he was the person she’d spend the rest of her life with, but it didn’t work out, and she moved back.” She brings her attention back to me. “That’s all I know, but the way she looked at him…”
“Oh my god.”
“Sold! One thousand euros to paddle forty-seven!” Stefan yells into the microphone.
I look around for Caio. I don’t know what for, but regardless, I can’t see him anywhere. My heart is racing so fast. It feels like everything is slowly unraveling in front of me.
I pull a face as a shot of tequila burns my throat. I need something to focus on except my mind reeling as I sit at the bar with May when a date with Leo goes for nearly two thousand euros. Marina knew someone who knew someone with a portable bar that we’ve set up at the back of the room.
I watch as Leo starts to make his way over to the girl who won his date, but he gets cut off halfway to her by a girl with curly blonde hair. She’s undeniably beautiful, but I’ve never seen her before.
“Leo, why would you do this?” she asks him.
“It’s for charity, Alessia.”
Alessia?
He goes to move past her, but she places both of her hands on his chest. “No, I’ll pay her however much she paid, plus an extra thousand to not go on a date with you.”
“What? Alessia, that’s ridiculous. Come on,” he says.
Who is this chick? I never thought Leo had a girlfriend.
“Who is that?” May leans in to ask.
“No idea.”
“Alessia, you’re drunk. What are you even doing here?” Leo asks.
“What am I doing here? I was in your bed last night, so I could ask you the same thing.”
“It’s a charity date, Alessia!” he snaps.
“Oh, so you’ll fuck her for charity before you come home and fuck me?”
“That’s bullshit,” he spits.
Jesus fuck, this girl is bold.
Rafael is suddenly walking over to them. This is very quickly becoming a scene and capturing everyone’s attention.
“Alessia, why don’t we go get you a glass of water,” Rafael suggests, grabbing her by the arm.
“Oh, fuck off, Rafael!” she yells, and soon enough Caio finally appears out of the shadows, quickly storming over to them.
The girl that won the date with Leo walks up to them and I take a step off my seat already anticipating what she’s about to do.
“Yeah look, I’m good, sorry,” she says to Leo before walking away with her money.
My stomach hollows out, we needed that money. My heart is beating so loud it’s drowning out all the other noise in the room. I feel like I’m watching a plane crash, everything is going wrong.
Marina and Miles.
Nora’s studio selling.
Losing that much money.
My parents being here.
I don’t even know where Caio and I stand right now.
My emotions are boiling over, tears spilling over the edge of my eyes.
I’ve mindlessly walked closer to the group where Alessia and Leo are arguing with Caio and Rafael trying to mediate. It’s a jumble of voices and arms flying.
“Caio,” I say, my voice wobbly.
His eyes snap to mine. One second, he feels miles away, and the next I’m wrapped up in his arms, sobbing against his shoulder.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” He strokes the back of my head. His arms around me are the only thing keeping me up right now. “It’s okay, baby.” He soothes me.
“How is any of this okay?”
He pulls away to cradle my face in his hands. “We’ll figure it out, okay? Together. Isn’t that what you told me?” He presses a kiss to my forehead.
“I thought you were mad at me,” I say.
“I’m not mad, gorgeous. I’m frustrated with the situation, but that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere. I just needed some space to cool down before, I didn’t want to say anything I’d regret. When will you start believing that I’m not going anywhere?”
His words just make me cry harder. I needed him. Even if he’s mad at me, I want him to be mad at me with me. He steadies me, he’s the one person I can always lean on, and he won’t wobble.
“All of this, it doesn’t matter.”
I laugh at his attempt of nonchalance. “Yes, it does.”
“We’ll figure it out, okay? Me and you. If you think a little frustration can turn me away, then you have no idea the kind of hold that you have on me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, for everything.” He swipes a tear from my cheek. “For what I said before, for everything, for talking about kids with you, I never wanted to give you false hope. I’m only going by what I feel, but I feel like I’ve been throwing you for a loop this entire time, I’m so sorry.”
“I’d rather imagine a future with you, even if it never happens, than never know what it is like to love you.”
I look up into my favorite blue eyes and don’t hesitate another second before I crash my mouth into his, Caio grabs the back of my head, angling my head so he can kiss me deeper. I lick my tongue into his mouth, and he groans into mine. It’s wet and salty from my tears, but it’s exactly what I need in this moment, a reminder that he’s right here with me, and from the grip he’s got around my waist, I don’t think he’s letting me go.
“I think I love you, Caio Marchetti,” I whisper into his mouth.
He pulls away. “I know I love you, Isla Beckett,” he whispers back. “And if you don’t know that by now then you’re just as oblivious as I thought you were that first day when you left that stupid handbrake on.”