Chapter 11 Carter
Pain like I’ve never felt before is the first thing that registers. Even moaning my discomfort hurts like hell. Slowly, I open my eyes, blinking a few times because even the soft glow of whatever light is in the room is too much.
A hand in mine drags my brain online a little after I close my eyes again. Forcing myself to blink, I turn my head to find Roman watching me carefully. Big green eyes that are red-rimmed and filled with tears meet mine.
“D—don’t cry,” I croak out through my dry throat.
He gives me a half smile and lets out a sob. Removing his hand from mine, he reaches over and grabs a water cup.
The liquid is cool, and I moan in pleasure at the feel of it going down my throat. Roman doesn’t let me drink much, but what I did manage is enough for now.
“You don’t have to cry for me, Figlio,” I whisper.
Roman wipes his eyes with his sleeves and tries to smile. “You scared me…” His bottom lip quivers, and I raise my hand to him, only to wince in pain.
“Don’t do that,” he reprimands. “You just went through major surgery and almost died on me. I’ll be fine.”
“It wasn’t my intention to die.”
He scowls. “Could have fucking fooled me.” Anger flashes in his eyes before more tears fall.
“Why? Why would you do that? You’re the only parent I have left, and you so easily could have died.
One of the bullets could have hit your heart, or a lung, or some other piece of you that can’t be repaired.
If Sarah wasn’t such a good doctor… If Vonny wasn’t here to assist…
Doc isn’t here yet, because he and Luca are watching Allesandro while Tennant plays with Cristian. What if…what if I lost you?”
“Hey. Shhh. It’s okay, Figlio Mio. I’m okay. Non ti lascio. Prometto che starò qui per molto tempo.”
He shakes his head and takes my hand in his again.
“You almost died.” He sets his other hand on my chest. “Here. Dr. Ranlen said a few more inches and it would have killed you instantly. Several bullets were dug out of your stomach. One nicked your intestines, but she’s fairly confident she stopped the bleeding.
Though, you’re on strict orders to stay still and let it heal, as internal bleeding is not what we want.
” Roman swallows. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I love him,” I reply, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, when that’s farthest from the truth.
Loving Marcus and Keegan…it’s more complicated than being a bodyguard who fell for his Boss. Now, I’m the Boss, and they’re two of the most important people in my life. To lose one of them…even if we’re only ever friends, would be a death sentence for me.
Roman’s mouth drops open a little. “Are you three…”
I try to shrug and instantly regret it as pain runs white-hot through me. “No. We’re friends—family. And I don’t know if they have any romantic feelings for me, but whatever we end up…it’ll be as it was meant to. The four of you are my family.”
“Ti voglio bene,” he whispers.
I give him a small smile. “I love you too, Figlio. So fucking much. And I’m sorry I scared you.”
“Fucking better be. Do it again and I’ll lock you up in Tennant’s torture chamber.”
A laugh wheezes out of me, and I instantly regret all of my life choices as the pain shoots through my entire body.
“Fucking dumbass,” I hear Roman mutter distantly.
When I’m able to catch my breath, it’s to see him staring worriedly at me. “Do I need to get Dr. Ranlen?”
“N—no. I’m fine.”
“You’ve got a magic button,” he says, showing me the IV meds dispenser. “I pushed it, so hopefully they kick in soon.”
“Thank you.” Closing my eyes, I try to weakly squeeze his hand in mine. “You gonna stay?”
“Yeah, Dad, I’ll stay.”
His words, and the comfort of knowing he’s here with me, follow me back into the sweet abyss of darkness.
The next time I open my eyes, Roman is gone, but in his place are the two people who make my heart trip over itself, even when it shouldn’t.
“Hi…” I whisper.
Marcus immediately reaches for my water cup and helps me take a few sips.
Keegan brushes my hair back from my forehead and watches me intently with those foggy gray eyes of his.
The intensity of his gaze makes my stomach flutter, and if I were in a position to get hard, I have a feeling he could make me with just a look.
When Marcus puts the cup down, he takes my hand, much like Roman did.
But his gaze, while full of tears and pain, like my son’s, differs with the type of love he has for me.
At least…I hope so. Maybe. The pain of being shot, and my broken heart from ending my marriage could be clouding my judgment on this.
“You scared me,” Marcus says softly, his words like a knife to the heart.
“I’m sorry. I…you.” I swallow, trying to get this right, because I need to be clear on this. “I needed you safe. Keegan and Cole needed you safe.”
A tug at my hair has me turning my head to look at Keegan. “We need you safe too, Carter. You’re ours, and you’re not allowed to put yourself in danger again. Understand?”
As I stare at him, the hardness in his eyes, and the firm grip he still has on my hair somehow turns me on, even though my entire being aches. He tugs on my hair again when he doesn’t get an answer.
Swallowing, I nod the best I can. “Yes. I—I’m sorry.”
His features soften after a long, assessing moment, and he lets my hair go, before running his gentle fingers through the messy locks. “You can’t do that again, Carter. I don’t think we’ll survive it.”
Licking my lips, I look at both of them before saying, “I promise, I’ll be as careful as possible. I can’t promise to not get hurt again, that’s not the world we live in, but I’m sorry for scaring you. Sorry I made you worry. I’ll be more careful.”
“And you’ll let me guard you. Stop the self-sacrificing bullshit,” Marcus tells me firmly.
I can’t promise that. I will never agree to something like that, so I don’t say anything at all. Which has Marcus sighing, and Keegan glares a little.
“I love you,” I say simply. “I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. I needed you to be okay.”
Keegan shakes his head. “We’re not going to go around in circles. You will not be an idiot and throw yourself in front of bullets for us. We will not lose you. End of story.”
Jesus fuck. Hot and commanding Dom voice is… I’ve never wanted to be on my knees for someone before, but if Keegan talks to me like that, maybe it’s not so bad.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Keegan takes my other hand, and the firm grip should probably be punishing for how weak and tired I am, but it’s grounding…loving, and I hold on as tightly as I can, praying he never lets go.
My eyes blink a few times, as all the talking and emotions running through me are tiring me out fast, but for once, I’m not looking forward to the darkness. I don't want to leave these men behind.
I don’t get a choice, though. Once my eyes close and don’t reopen, sleep threatens to quickly engulf me. Fingers brush through my hair again, and right before I slip under, I swear I hear, “We love you, too.”