Chapter 5
Miles waited outside the clinic at seven a.m., holding two paper cups from the Kringle Kafe and trying to remember the last time he’d been this nervous.
Medical school exams? Not this bad.
First day at the clinic after buying it from Gee? Close, but not quite.
This was different. This was Lili’s first official day, and he spent half the night worrying she would change her mind and he’d arrive to find the apartment empty, her car gone, and a note saying she couldn’t do it after all.
But her sedan was in the parking lot. Lights were on in the apartment. She was here.
He took a breath.
Her door opened, and she came out onto the landing, dressed in green scrubs and a white lab coat. “Oh, hi,” she said, peering down at him. “Is one of those for me?”
“Yes, it is. Wasn’t sure how you take your coffee, so I brought cream and sugar just in case.” He held up both cups.
She hustled down the stairs to take the cup. “Black’s fine. Thank you. You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to.” He meant it. He wanted to make this easier for her. Wanted her to feel welcome, valued, like she belonged here.
She sipped the coffee as they walked into the clinic together. “What time do we start?”
“First appointment’s at eight. Gives us forty minutes to go over the schedule and show you where everything is. Eight scheduled appointments this morning, but there are always walk-ins.” He pulled out his phone, trying to sound casual instead of anxious.
“What do you need me to do?”
“Just be yourself. Anything you can do to bring order is more than I’ve managed in weeks. You were so much help on Sunday. I can’t begin to tell you.”
She smiled at that, a small genuine thing that heartened him. Then he hesitated, the question he’d been holding back since last night pushing forward.
“Hey, I wanted to ask, did you receive any more of those texts?”
Her smile faded. She glanced down at her coffee cup. “No.”
“You’ll tell me if you do? I know you can handle yourself, but—”
“I will. I promise,” she said, meeting his eyes. There was something grateful in her expression, like she appreciated being asked even if she didn’t want to dwell on it.
He nodded, wanting to say more but knowing this wasn’t the time. She was here for a fresh start, not to be smothered with his worry.
“Okay. Let’s settle you in.”
They spent the next thirty minutes walking through his system, supply locations, patient files, and the ancient software that crashed often. She asked intelligent questions, made notes, and pointed out more efficient ways to organize things.
By the time Brenda arrived, Miles was trying not to be obvious about his relief. “Dr. Ellis, your first patient’s here early. Mrs. Dalton is sitting out in her car.”
Miles sighed. “I’ll go fetch her.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Lili said.
“You sure?”
“That’s what you hired me for.”
He watched her walk toward the waiting room and sent up a prayer. Thank you, God, for bringing this angel into my life.
* * *
Lili pushed through the waiting room door, clipboard in hand. The space smelled like pine-scented cleaning solution and old magazines, a wall-mounted heater clicking in the corner.
“Martha Dalton?”
An older woman in a Christmas sweater, complete with jingle bells that tinkled when she moved, rose from her chair.
“Oh. You’re not Dr. Ellis.”
“I’m Lili Grant, the new nurse practitioner. I’ll be seeing you today. Come on back.”
“A new nurse practitioner?” Martha’s face lit up like she’d just heard the Second Coming was scheduled for Sunday. “Oh, thank the Lord. That poor man’s been drowning since his nurse went out on maternity leave.”
“Exam room two.” Lili gestured down the hallway, its walls lined with faded Norman Rockwell prints and health posters.
Martha followed, her bells jingling with each step. “I’ve been coming here for thirty-seven years. Watched Dr. Ellis grow up, you know. He used to help his grandpa on house calls during summers; couldn’t have been more than twelve years old. Even then, he had the heart for it. You could just tell.”
Lili held the exam room door open. “Let me get your vitals first.”
“This town loves that boy.” Martha settled into the chair, already extending her arm before being asked.
“When he came back after medical school, everyone was so relieved. We all thought we’d lose him to some big-city hospital.
But he came home. Bought the practice from his grandpa the day after his residency ended.
Been working himself half to death ever since. ”
“He sounds loyal.”
Martha held out her arm for the blood pressure cuff.
“Oh, very. His nurse going on maternity leave threw him for a loop. You should’ve seen him trying to manage everything alone, appointments running two hours late, phone ringing like crazy; poor thing looked like he hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks. ”
Lili wrapped the cuff around her arm and pumped it up. “What brings you in today, Mrs. Dalton?”
“Martha, please. And well, I’ve been having these heart palpitations again, and last night I was convinced I was having a heart attack, but Earl—that’s my husband—said it was probably anxiety, like Dr. Ellis keeps telling me. But how do I know it’s not my heart this time?”
Lili pulled up a stool and sat down to Martha’s level. “Let’s find out. Tell me what you felt. When did it start? How long did it last?”
In the ER, she would’ve already moved on to the next task while Martha talked. Efficiency over connection. Get the information, make the diagnosis, move to the next bed. Thirty patients waiting. No time for stories.
But here, she could sit, listen, and let Martha talk about Earl’s sister visiting, the Christmas lights committee drama, and how she’d been drinking more coffee than usual trying to keep up with everything.
“Your blood pressure’s a little elevated today. I’m going to do an EKG to check your heart rhythm, and I want to listen to your heart and lungs. Even though you’ve had palpitations before, we’re going to take this seriously and make sure nothing’s changed.”
Relief washed over Martha’s face. “Thank you. I know I worry too much. Dr. Ellis is always so patient with me, even when I call at two in the morning.”
Lili ran the EKG, did a thorough cardiac exam, and checked Martha’s medication list. Everything was stable—no changes from previous visits, no red flags.
When she sat down to discuss the results, she took her time. She explained what the EKG showed, why the palpitations were most likely stress-related, and how anxiety and caffeine created a feedback loop.
“Your anxiety medication hasn’t changed in a year,” Lili said, reviewing the chart. “But it sounds like life has gotten more stressful. What if we increased the dose? See if that helps you feel more balanced?”
“Do you think that would help?”
“I do. And I think cutting back on coffee, maybe to two or three cups instead of five or six, would help too.”
Martha nodded. “You know, you’re the first person who’s explained it like that. Dr. Ellis is wonderful, but he’s always so rushed. You took time.”
The words settled into Lili’s chest, warm and unexpected. In the ER, patients didn't often thank her. They were too sick, too scared, and moved through too fast. She forgot what it felt like to help someone feel better emotionally, not just treat them physically.
“One more thing. When you start feeling anxious, do you have coping strategies?”
“Not really. I just try to push through.”
“That might be part of the problem.” Lili wrote down some resources. “Your body’s trying to tell you something. We’re going to work on both keeping your heart healthy and helping you manage the anxiety so you can actually enjoy the holidays.”
Martha’s eyes got misty. “Thank you for taking the time with me. I hope you’ll be here for a while.”
“I’m glad I could help today.”
“Well, I’ll be back in January for my cholesterol check.” Martha stood, gathering her purse. “I’ll see you then.”
It was such a simple comment. But something about Martha’s gentle assumption that Lili would still be here in January, that she wasn’t just passing through, wasn’t just filling in, touched her more than she expected.
After Martha left, Lili was updating the chart when a soft knock interrupted her.
Miles poked his head in, his tie loosened, dark circles under his eyes suggested another late night. “How’d it go with Martha?”
“It went well. She was worried about her heart, but her EKG is normal, regular sinus, no ST changes. Her anxiety isn’t being well-managed, though. I increased her sertraline to 75 milligrams, and we talked about caffeine reduction and some coping strategies for when she feels panicky.”
Miles stepped all the way into the room and leaned against the doorframe. “She opened up to you.”
Lili shrugged. “She talks a lot.”
“She does.” His eyes were steady on her face, assessing. “But she doesn’t often open up about the real stuff, the anxiety underneath, the actual fears. She just complains about Earl leaving his socks everywhere and the drama at city hall. Whatever you did, it worked.”
“I just listened to her.”
“That’s not ‘just’ anything.” He studied her face, and she felt suddenly seen in a way that made her want to squirm. “Are you okay? You look... I don’t know. Different than you did this morning.”
“I’m fine. It’s just...” She set down the stylus, trying to find the words. “It’s different from the ER. I forgot what it’s like to get to know your patients. To have time to figure out what’s really going on instead of just treating the immediate crisis.”
“Is that good different or bad different?”
She thought about Martha’s hand squeezing hers, the relief on her face, the assumption that Lili would be here next month.
“Good,” she said, surprising herself by how much she meant it. “It’s good different.”
Miles smiled that soft, genuine smile that did something complicated to her heart rate, something she didn’t need to analyze right now.
“I’m glad.” He pushed off from the doorframe. “Ready for the next one? Mr. O’Leery is here for his diabetes follow-up. Fair warning: he’s going to try to convince you his blood sugar is fine while telling you about all the cake he ate at his daughter’s birthday party.”
Lili laughed, a real laugh that felt rusty but good. “I think I can handle that.”
* * *
By noon, the waiting room had finally cleared. Miles attended to four patients that morning, and Lili treated another three on her own.
Brenda grabbed her purse from the reception desk. “I’m heading out for lunch. Back at one.”
Miles grabbed the bag from the fridge, two turkey sandwiches he made that morning, along with apple slices and potato chips. He packed them hoping Lili would join him for lunch. He found her in the break room, unwrapping a sad-looking protein bar.
“Is that your lunch?” he asked.
“Yeah. Haven’t had a chance to get to the store yet.”
“I brought extra. Turkey okay?” He set the bag on the table and pulled out both sandwiches.
“Turkey’s perfect.”
They sat across from each other, and Miles divided up the apple slices and chips. “Fair warning. Christmas in Kringle is intense. You thought the party at Nina’s was a lot? That was just the warmup.”
She laughed. “Rose has been telling me for years I need to visit during the holidays. Now I see why.”
“First Kringle Christmas?”
“First Christmas here, yeah. Rose and Tom have only lived In Kringle, what? Three years now? I was always working holidays. Double pay.” She paused. “Plus, things with my ex… he and Rose didn’t get along.”
Miles nodded. “Well, you’re in for an experience. There’s the lights contest judging tonight, cookie exchange on Thursday, Christmas play rehearsals every evening this week, caroling parties. The tree lighting ceremony already happened, thank God, or I’d be adding that to the list.”
“Martha did mention city hall drama.”
“Oh, that’s nothing. Wait until you meet the cookie exchange people. They have rules. Actual printed rules about what qualifies as a cookie.”
“You’re joking?”
“I wish I was. Last year someone brought Rice Krispie treats, and it almost caused a civil war.” He shook his head. “Mrs. Rutherford still won’t speak to Mrs. Tillis.”
Lili grinned. “And you have to judge the lights contest?”
“Yep. It’s tradition. The honor goes to the town doctor. Gee always did it, so now I’m stuck. You could come with me if you want. Make it less painful.”
“Is that allowed? I’m not exactly a town elder.”
“You’re clinic staff. That’s basically the same thing.” He tried to sound casual. “Plus, I could use the moral support. These people get competitive.”
“How competitive?”
“Last year someone accused the Portsmiths of using illegal LED specifications. There was a thirty-minute argument about lumens.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll come. But only because I need to see this lumen argument for myself.”
“Deal.”
They concentrated on their food for a while, and then she asked, “Did you always celebrate Christmas like this growing up?”
“My parents owned the bakery in town. So Christmas was—” He searched for the word.
“Overwhelming. Every surface decorated, Christmas music on loop from November first to New Year’s, unique holiday recipes, matching sweaters.
” He smiled at the memory, half-fond and half-exasperated.
“My sister Nina loved it. I found it exhausting.”
“But you came back here despite that.”
“Yeah.” He finished his sandwich. “I came back.”
“Why?”
The question was simple, but the answer wasn’t. Because Gee had asked him to. Because someone needed to keep the clinic running. Because despite everything, this was home.
“Gee was getting older and wanted to retire. And I—” He stopped. “I wanted to be the kind of doctor he was. The kind who knew everyone’s name, who made house calls. Can’t do that in a big hospital.”
“No. You can’t.”
Something in her voice made him glance up. There was a distant expression in her eyes.
The front door chimed. Brenda’s voice called from reception: “Hate to interrupt, but we’ve got two walk-ins, and your one o’clock is early.”
Miles stood and gathered the trash. “Tonight. Six o’clock. Dress in layers. We’ll be outside for at least two hours.”
“Two hours of looking at Christmas lights?”
“Welcome to Kringle.” He grinned. “You have no idea what you signed up for.”