Chapter 11
Something was off.
Lili couldn’t put her finger on why. The clinic was busy as usual. She saw patients, filed paperwork, did whatever needed doing.
Except nothing felt normal.
Yesterday had been perfect. Church with Rose’s family, Sunday dinner at Nina’s, flag football. Lots of fun and laughter. The moment in the grass when she and Miles collided, and his hand landed on her waist, and she felt—
She felt too much. That was the problem.
Whenever they passed in the hall, it seemed as if Miles wanted to say something to her, but he never did.
Last night, lying in bed, she couldn’t get her mistake with David out of her head. What if her judgment about men was still broken? What if she was reading too much into Miles’s kindness, mistaking gratitude for something more?
She had done it before. Built a whole life with David based on misreading his intentions. Her therapist said she ended up with him in the aftermath of losing her parents, that grief skewed her instinctive radar.
What if she was doing it again?
At noon, the waiting room finally cleared, and Brenda went home to check on the kitten she adopted. Miles disappeared into his office to return calls. Lili sat in the break room with a salad and pulled out her phone to check her email.
She opened her inbox, and there it was.
From: Denver Medical Center HR
Subject: Nurse Practitioner Position - Offer Letter
Her stomach dropped. This was it. The real job. The permanent position. What she had waited for. She opened it and skimmed through the letter.
Emergency Department Nurse Practitioner. Excellent salary. Nearly double what Miles was paying her. Full benefits, signing bonus, relocation assistance. Start date January 2nd, just eleven days away.
We’re excited to welcome you to our team. Please confirm your acceptance by December 29th.
Seven days to decide. She read it three times, waiting to feel excited. Relieved. Grateful. Anything.
Instead, nothing.
This was the plan. Come to Kringle temporarily, figure out her next step, move on to something permanent. Denver was that next step. The logical choice, the career move, the fresh start in a city significant enough to hide in. She had a group of friends there, so she wouldn’t be totally alone.
But thinking about leaving the clinic, leaving Rose and her family, and Miles punched an ache in the center of her chest.
She set down her phone and stared at her salad. What did she want?
Truly? She wanted Sunday dinners and small-town churches and working beside someone who trusted her completely. She wanted Nina’s warmth and Ryan’s steadfastness. She wanted Rose nearby. Wanted to watch her nieces and nephew grow up. Wanted this community that claimed her so fast.
She wanted Miles. The way he looked at her. The way they fell together in the grass yesterday, his hand on her waist, their faces inches apart. The way he made her feel safe.
But wanting something didn’t make it right. She wanted David once. Had been so sure. How could she trust herself now?
She needed to talk to Miles.
Not for advice. She knew what the logical answer was. Take the Denver offer, pursue her career, don’t give up opportunities for a temporary job in a small town.
But maybe he’d give her a reason to stay. Give her something to hold onto that wasn’t just her own faulty judgment.
This was stupid. They knew each other little more than a week. You didn’t make life decisions based on chemistry, Sunday dinner, and a collision during flag football.
She threw away the rest of her salad and walked down the hallway toward his office. Her heart hammered. Her palms sweated. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman asking a simple question about a job offer.
Except it wasn’t simple. And she knew it.
Outside his closed office door, she heard voices. He was with someone. A patient? Had Brenda returned?
She stood in the hallway, rehearsing what to say. I got the Denver offer. I wanted to talk to you about it before I decide.
Then he’d say…what? What was she hoping he’d say?
Don’t go. We need you. I need you.
She was building castles again. Making up conversations in her head. This was how she got in trouble. She took a step closer to the door, raised her fist, intending to knock.
And peered through the window.
A woman sat across from his desk. A redhead, elegant even in jeans and a sweater. Leaning forward, saying something that made Miles grin.
The woman from the diner. Sarah.
His ex-fiancée.
Lili halted.
She should leave. This was private. Come back later.
But she couldn’t move.
Sarah said something, and Miles laughed, really laughed, that open, unguarded sound. Sarah stood, still talking, gesturing with her hands. Miles got to his feet as well.
They moved toward each other naturally, like they’d done it a thousand times before.
Sarah said something else. Miles smiled, shook his head, then opened his arms.
Sarah stepped into the hug. They held each other, not long, but warm. Friendly.
When they pulled apart, Miles leaned in and kissed her cheek.
And that’s when she saw it.
The engagement ring on Sarah’s left hand.
* * *
Miles caught movement through his office window, a flash of blond hair, quick steps. Lili, walking fast.
He glanced at Sarah, who was still talking about wedding plans. “Sorry, what?”
“I said we’re thinking spring. Nothing big. Just family. I’m hoping you can come. It would mean a lot.” Sarah twisted the engagement ring on her finger. “I can’t believe I’m finally getting married. After us, I thought—”
“You thought you were done with commitment. I know. Me too. But this is different.” He smiled at her. “I’m happy for you, Sarah. Really.”
“You mean that?”
“I do.”
She shrugged into her coat. “That means a lot, Miles. I worried it would be weird telling you.”
“It’s not weird. You deserve to be happy.”
She hugged him. “You do too, you know.”
He walked her to the front door, said goodbye, and watched her drive away.
Then he went looking for Lili.
* * *
She made it to the break room, gripped the counter, and tried to breathe regularly.
Foolish. And dangerous. She let her heart rule her head and built this whole fantasy.
Had he been thinking about Sarah this whole time? Still loving Sarah? And Lili was what? A convenient distraction? A temporary replacement until Sarah returned? Just a colleague he enjoyed spending time with?
Argh.
The two of them so comfortable together. Miles kissed her. Sarah’s engagement ring.
Tears pushed at the back of her eyelids, but she refused to let them fall. Silly.
“Lili?”
She spun around. Miles stood in the doorway, concern on his face. “I thought I saw you outside my office. Did you need something?”
“Um, no, it can wait.”
“Are you okay? You look—”
“I’m fine.” Goodness, she barked at him. Regret bit her.
“You’re not fine. Please talk to me. What’s wrong?”
Everything. Nothing. I just watched you kiss your ex, and it looks like now the engagement is back on, and I realized I’m an idiot for thinking we might be headed toward something.
She misread the signals, mistook his small-town friendliness for something it wasn’t.
Lili straightened and met his gaze. “I got a job offer. From Denver.”
His face went blank. “Oh.”
“Emergency Department NP position. Excellent salary, benefits, signing bonus. The job starts January 2nd.”
“That’s—” He swallowed and forced a smile. “That’s fantastic. That’s a fantastic opportunity.”
“I think I’m going to take it. I just came to tell you that.” The words landed between them like stones. She ached for him to beg her not to go, to tell her he wanted her to stay.
But he did not.
“I see.” Two words. A universe of meaning. “When will you leave?”
“I just got the offer. Haven’t had much time to think it through. After Christmas, I guess. I’ll need to get to Denver and start looking for an apartment.”
“That’s soon.”
“Good thing I travel light. Not much to pack up. Once I have a place, I’ll move my stuff out of storage.”
“Right. Yeah. Makes sense.” He was trying to keep his face neutral, but disappointment broke through.
“It does, doesn’t it? I mean, this was always temporary. We both knew that.”
“We did.”
“I should—” Lili gestured toward the door. “I need to respond to the email.”
“Of course. Yeah. Don’t let me keep you.”
She walked past him, close enough to smell his soap, far enough that they didn’t touch.
* * *
Lili pulled up to Rose’s house after she left the clinic for the day.
Through the windows, she could see Kevin chasing Emma around the dining table with a plastic dinosaur in his hand. Tom stood at the stove, stirring a pot. Audra sat at the counter doing homework.
She sat in her car for a moment, staring at the warm light spilling onto the lawn.
She should have called first. Should have asked if this was a good time. But if she stopped to think about it, she wouldn’t have come at all. She got out and went up the sidewalk, skirting around candy cane and gingerbread people decorations.
Rose opened the door with Emma on her hip. “Lili. What are you doing here? Come in, come in.”
“Aunt Lili!” Emma pulled her thumb from her mouth and reached for her.
Lili held out her hands, and Rose transferred the three-year-old into her arms. She kissed Emma’s cheek and snuggled her close.
Rose stepped back to let her in. “We’re just starting dinner. Have you eaten?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Her sister studied her face and called over her shoulder, “Tom? Can you slow dinner down a bit? Lili and I need to have a powwow.”
“Sure thing,” Tom called from the kitchen. “Kevin, no, we don’t terrorize the dog with T-Rex.”
Rose took Emma back and set her down. “Go play.” She grabbed her coat. “We’re going for a walk.”
“Rose, you don’t have to—”
“I haven’t seen you looking like this since you told me you were leaving David.”
“What look?”
“Frazzled. Distraught.”
Lili pushed a hand through her hair and followed her sister. The December evening was cool and crisp, the air filled with the scent of a dozen dinners up and down the block. Christmas lights lined the street. Somewhere, a dog barked. Fallen leaves crunched under their feet.
“Okay, what is it?” Rose asked.
“I got a job offer. Denver. Emergency Department. Double the salary, signing bonus, full benefits. It’s out of Texas, far from David.”
“That’s great.” Rose’s voice was bright.
“I told Miles I’m taking it.”
Rose stopped walking. “Are you?”
“It’s an amazing opportunity. A fresh start.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
Lili tugged at her coat zipper. “It makes sense. Better pay, better prospects—”
“David’s in jail till June. You have time.”
“It’s better to do it now.”
“Why now?”
Lili hesitated. “Because Miles kissed Sarah today. She’s wearing an engagement ring.”
Rose blinked. “What?”
“I saw them in his office. They hugged. He kissed her cheek.”
“And you decided she’s engaged to him?”
Lili flushed. “You didn’t see them.”
“No, but perhaps she’s engaged to someone else. Did you ask him?”
“There was nothing to ask.”
“Lili.” Rose sighed. “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Writing the ending before you know the story. Assuming the worst.”
Her sister’s words pulled her up short. Her therapist said the same thing to her once.
Rose went on, softer now. “Give him a chance to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain.”
“Then at least tell him how you feel.”
“That’s insane. I barely know him.”
“I knew Tom was the one after three dates.”
“That’s different. You trust your instincts. Mine are broken.”
Rose stopped and turned fully around. “Your instincts got you out of a bad marriage. They got you here. They’re not broken.”
“Then why does everything feel wrong?”
“Because you’re scared. And that’s okay. Just don’t let fear steer this choice.”
“The Denver offer is objectively better.”
“But do you want it?”
Lili didn’t answer.
“Then wait. The deadline’s the twenty-ninth. Talk to Miles first.”
“I already told him. He said Denver’s lucky to have me.”
“Because you told him you were leaving. What was he supposed to say?”
Lili looked down. “So what difference would it make?”
They stopped under a canopy of Christmas lights. “If you take the job,” Rose said, “you’ll do fine. You’ll build a good life. But you’ll always wonder what might’ve happened if you stayed.”
“And if I stay and it falls apart?”
“Then at least you’ll know.” Rose pulled her close. “Whatever you decide, I’m here.”
Later, alone in her apartment, the Denver email waited on her laptop. She went to Rose for clarity and left with questions echoing instead.
Talk to Miles. Tell him how you feel.
But how could she, when she just watched him kiss another woman?
Stay or go. Take the safe choice or risk everything. Trust her judgment or assume it broken. She stared at the blank email.
She started typing: Thank you for this opportunity—
Deleted it.
Started again: I appreciate the offer, but—
Deleted it.
Closed the laptop.
She couldn’t decide. Not tonight. Not with Rose’s voice in her head and Miles’s face when she told him about Denver and the memory of Sarah in his arms.