5. Travis
TRAVIS
P enny had a habit of leaving whatever purse she used near the door. At home, in a hotel room, it didn’t matter. That was where it ended up.
After entering the suite, I kicked off my shoes and scanned the room for any sign that Penny had returned. Since the small table inside the door was bare, I guessed I had beat her back to the hotel.
As I moved farther in, I held the phone to my ear, listening to Sofia on the other end.
“That sounds great, honey. How is your sister?” I asked, my voice softening as I shifted my attention back to the conversation.
“She’s good,” Sofia reported. “When do you think she’ll say her first words?”
I had lost track of the number of times Sofia asked me that question, and the answer never seemed to satisfy her.
“In her own time, honey. If I remember correctly, you didn’t start talking until you were a little older than she is now.
You mostly babbled, the way she is.” Olive was barely a year old.
We still had plenty of time to go, but Sofia was determined to hear her name come from her sister’s mouth.
“You know Penny is the expert when it comes to stuff like this,” I reminded her as I entered the bedroom.
Housekeeping had been in since we left earlier that morning, meaning everything was spotless.
Clay spared no expense when it came to training his staff.
He held them to the highest standards, almost to the point where I felt bad sitting on the bed and wrinkling the duvet.
“She says we still have time. What do you and Monica plan on doing tonight?” Penny’s mom was a godsend, not to mention eager to spend time with a pair of adorable kids.
She was staying at the house this weekend and was probably the only person I would trust with my girls while I was in another state.
“I think we’re gonna watch movies and paint each other’s nails!” The excitement in her voice told me she was finished worrying about her sister’s speech development. “What color should I use?”
“Whatever you think looks the nicest.”
Monica called out in the background. “I better go,” Sofia concluded. “We’re taking Olive for a walk.”
“Give her a big hug and a kiss from me.” My heart was a little heavy by the time I ended the call. I missed her, I missed Olive. That was the problem, though it went deeper than this weekend.
Checking my email meant reviewing the prospective put together regarding yet another expansion.
it was something that would leave my New York expansion in the dust and that had been a huge deal, monumental, that took months to put together and iron out—kid’s play compared to what I had in mind.
It was only a theory, an idea, numbers on a page.
I hadn’t committed a single cent yet and might not ever get to that point.
At the same time, ignoring an opportunity like expanding to Portugal seemed like a hopeless mistake—the kind of thing I would kick myself over for the rest of my life.
I could have the harbors for a song, or practically as good as, which would mean opening my company to shipping routes throughout the Mediterranean, Europe, and Northern Africa.
My skin tingled, and the hair on my arms lifted at the idea of spreading my brand over the globe. I could see it in my head, that globe, with my logo stamped on one country after another. It was a nice picture.
But it would mean some pretty major shake-ups in my personal life.
Hence, my sinking heart when I remembered what I might miss.
Of course, it wasn’t like I had to camp out on the other side of the Atlantic.
Technology was a real plus in a situation like this, and the only hiccup would be the time difference when meetings were conducted, but we could easily get around that.
Yet, when I thought back to the amount of time I had to spend in New York, seeing things for myself, speaking face-to-face with contractors and board members, and exploring the facilities rather than trusting somebody else’s opinion, my heart sank further.
I needed to see things for myself, to touch them, to examine and ask questions.
That meant spending a lot of time away from my family.
Sure, Sofia would be out of school in the summer, but there was no guarantee I could schedule all of this around her school schedule.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to be away from them.
I grew up with a father I rarely saw. Though, in his case, that was a blessing.
The less time I had to spend with him, the better for both of us.
And that was before he fucked my ex-wife and changed the course of my life.
“Hello!” A woman unlike my ex in every conceivable way called out as she entered the suite. “I know you’re here. I see your shoes.”
Thinking back on how I looked for her purse, I laughed. “In the bedroom! Where you are more than welcome to join me.”
Her footsteps rang out, getting louder the closer she came until she appeared in the doorway.
A pair of shopping bags hung from one hand, and she set them down quickly, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling.
“Guess what? I’ve been dying to tell you…
” she practically vibrated with excitement, “… but you can’t tell anybody else. I’m serious.”
“What is it?”
“Rowan is pregnant! That’s why she was so, you know, sleepy and low energy last night. And she didn’t drink!” Penny added, almost triumphant. “I knew there was something wrong. Didn’t I tell you?”
She had, though I hadn’t noticed anything wrong. “Are they trying to keep it quiet for now?”
Her eyes went wider as she slowly shook her head. “Spencer doesn’t know yet.”
“What?” Now, I was intrigued. My fiancée had turned me into a gossip hound. That was it. She had officially changed every part of my life. “Why not? Did she say?”
“She just hasn’t told him yet! I swear to God…
” Penny laughed, kicking off her sandals and flopping on the bed, “… I could barely wait five minutes to tell you I was pregnant with Olive. I don’t know how she hasn’t blurted it out yet.
She was a little queasy during lunch, and that was when we all dragged it out of her,” she concluded.
“Shit,” I murmured, thinking of Sofia and Olive. “We started a trend.”
“We are so cool,” she agreed. “Everybody wants to be like us and have two kids. But they won’t be as great as ours.
” I loved the note of certainty in her voice almost as much as I loved the way she considered Sofia as her kid.
As far as I was concerned, they were mother and daughter, even though Sofia referred to her by her first name.
That was at Penny’s insistence since Nicola was still out there in the world somewhere—awful in every possible way—but she’s Sofia’s mother.
At the end of the day, I knew I was lucky to have found a woman who’d not only accepted my single-parent status but embraced it.
“Oh, not a chance.” I laid down next to her, both of us looking up at the ceiling, clasping our hands. “How was the rest of your day?”
“I bought a few things,” she told me. “A cute dress, a pair of shoes. I already have everything I need for the wedding, but I thought maybe I’d pick up something nice for the rehearsal dinner.”
“Two whole shopping bags for a dress and a pair of shoes?” I turned my head to the side, noticing how she bit her lip. “What else did you get?”
“You insist on ruining a good surprise, you know that?” She turned her head to face me and rolled her eyes. “Honestly, a girl can’t even buy some cute lingerie without you asking about it. I was going to do a whole fashion show for you later on tonight.”
“Why wait until tonight?” I asked since the idea of seeing her in any kind of lingerie, new or otherwise, was enough to make me forget everything I thought was important a few minutes ago. She had that effect on me.
“No,” she decided, looking at the ceiling again. The firm set of her jaw told me she meant business. “Later on. After dinner. So the whole time we’re out, just the two of us, you can try to imagine what I’m wearing under my dress.”
“Oh, I like this idea,” A flush touched the apples of her cheeks, egging me on. “Describe it for me.”
“I’m starting to worry this is going to be a letdown,” she confessed. “I might have oversold it.”
“Sweetheart, let’s get one thing straight.
If there’s one thing you could never do, it’s let me down.
” God, she was beautiful, with her shiny brown hair fanned out across the silk duvet.
The deep blue hue of the silk almost matched her eyes.
I was suddenly filled with the most inexplicable yearning to hold onto the moment, to freeze her like this—both of us completely happy in our own world.
That couldn’t last forever. “I should give Mom a call,” she decided. “I don’t want her thinking we ran off and don’t care.”
“Oh, she’s taking the girls for a walk right now. I got off the phone with Sofia just before you came back.” I filled her in on the highlights, leaving her to click her tongue and shake her head lovingly at Sofia’s concerns.
“What are we going to do with her?” she asked with a sigh. “She is much too smart for her own good.”
“I don’t know. You’ve already done a great job with her so far. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“It’s not all because of me,” she murmured, sounding thoughtful. “They do a great job with her at school, and you did a great job with her before I ever came along.”
“She’s thriving thanks to you.” And she would need Penny more than ever if my Portugal deal went through. As of now, it was nothing more than a possibility, nowhere near the preliminary planning stages. But when I found a good thing, I knew it. Just like I knew Penny was the one.
“I only wonder…” She shook her head before she could finish voicing her thought. “Never mind. I guess all moms wonder if they’re doing a good enough job. And I wonder, if things in our lives ever changed, would they turn out as well as they are now? Or would it hurt them somehow?”
Did she know? No, she couldn’t. It wasn’t exactly like I was trying to hide the Portugal deal from her.
There was no deal to hide. But I also hadn’t mentioned the idea, telling myself to let it go until I knew I wanted to pursue it.
Why bother getting her involved if I never went past the idea phase?
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m just missing my girls. This is the first time I’ve been away from them.” Of course, I knew that. I didn’t want to mention it since I didn’t want to stress her out more than I knew she already was. I told myself if she wanted to talk about it, I’d be here for her.
And I was, rolling onto my side and offering a sympathetic smile as I brushed strands of hair away from her forehead. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”
“I miss them,” she whispered. “Every morning of Olive’s life, I’ve kissed both her cheeks when she wakes up, even when she was wailing and fussy.
What if she woke up this morning and wondered why I wasn’t there to kiss her?
” Tears rolled down her cheeks when she closed her eyes, and my heart damn near tore its way out of my chest.
She was in my arms in an instant. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled against my chest as I gently rocked her. Already, her tears had begun to soak through my polo.
“You never have to apologize for loving our kids. You know that, right?” I pulled back a little, looking down at her tear-stained face. “I would never hold it against you, even if it makes you cry every now and then.”
“I love you for being such an amazing father,” she whispered, touching her hand to my cheek. “I know I don’t really have anything to be upset about. I just miss them. That’s all.”
Why did I feel like there was more to it?
Maybe because she was a terrible liar. The woman had been born with an honest streak a mile wide and fathoms deep.
That frank, unvarnished innocence was one of the things that first irked the fuck out of me, but over time had endeared her to me more than just about anything else.
“If it would make you happier, we could leave right after the wedding,” I suggested. “One of the perks of having a jet, right? We could be home before they wake up Sunday morning.” The thought of Sofia’s surprised reaction made the idea more appealing.
“That’s very tempting,” she admitted with the beginnings of a smile. “Let me think about it. I do want us to have a little grown-up time together too.”
So did I, considering how absent I would be when things heated up with work.
Was I honestly thinking of Portugal as more of a done deal than it was at this point?
It seemed that way. I couldn’t get it out of my head, and it didn’t hurt to have an excuse to expose my daughters to different cultures, something more exotic than New Yorkers.
Though they could, at times, be pretty wild.
“What are you grinning about?” she asked, stirring me out of my reverie.
“Was I? Do I have any reason not to?” Evasive? Yes, but now didn’t seem like the right time to confess my idea. Not when she was so heartsore.
Soon. Maybe before we went home. We could work out any complications that arose from it.
We always did, after all. “I hope you always know I am genuinely aware of how special you are,” I whispered, staring deep into her eyes, relishing being close to her like this.
Was there ever a time I couldn’t enjoy this simple pleasure?
I could hardly remember or barely recognize memories from my own past if they didn’t involve her.
“What brought that on?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.
“Oh, it’s just something I think about every single day. How lost I would be if it wasn’t for you. How much the girls and I depend on you every day. None of it would work without you. Our lives would be lost. Our daughters adore you, and so do I. That needs to be celebrated, don’t you think?”
I wanted to make her happy. Why did she look so sad now?
“I guess we just need to hope everything stays the way it is now, right?” she whispered.
Again, guilt stabbed me in the chest. It wasn’t like her to be evasive or to keep a secret.
Why was she playing word games now? “I think I’ll take a bath in that whirlpool tub I’ve been eyeing since we got here.
” Throwing her arms around me, she squeezed me, then kissed my cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Even if I was keeping a secret from her.
But it was a good one. Nothing that would hurt any of us.
In the end, it would all be worth it.