Chapter 31 Cedar
Cedar
So soft. So warm.
Vesper and Aurelia were curled up at my sides.
I sighed and fell into the soft mattress below.
There was a nagging feeling pulling at my consciousness, telling me something wasn't right. That I shouldn't be lying in a plush bed with my two lovers.
But I couldn't be bothered because this was exactly where I wanted to be. My body felt fine, but my mind felt a weight that kept sinking me into the bed.
I'm so tired.
How long has it been since I felt fully rested?
I tried to think back, but my mind was a jumble, and every time I tried to search my memories, it was like a fog settled over me.
No matter. None of that was important. Especially not when soft kisses were trailed up my shoulder.
I let out a sigh. The bed felt like it was going to suck me down into its soft abyss, but I didn't care.
There’s something I need to think about. I need to open my eyes.
But my body would not obey. Or was it my mind?
“I didn't know you had it in you. Very impressive. Though I would say martyrdom doesn't really suit you.”
That's when my eyes snapped open. Because that voice belonged to someone that definitely should not be in the middle of my cuddle session.
As soon as I opened them, I realized I wasn't in a bed at all. I was back in the throne room. It was filled with vampires, watching the scene unfold in the middle.
The scene where I…
A gasp was torn from my chest.
Aurelia sat there in her ripped dress and blood covering her body, holding me and crying. Vesper was on my other side, her face buried in my chest and her arms around Aurelia.
I was unmistakably dead. My entire body had gone paler than I'd ever seen it. My magic was seeping away from me into the floor below.
“I'm dead.”
“Well, you did die.”
I turned to the voice, but the seer next to me was no longer a boy. He was almost as tall as me and looked well on his way to being a young adult.
“You’ve gotten taller.”
I don't know why that was the first thing out of my mouth, but it was the only thing I could think of. It was also one of the first things I said to Vesper when I saw her again, so maybe this was a full-circle moment.
He let out a laugh.
“The chains kept me in their control. The side effect was losing my ability to age. Thank you for freeing me.”
I looked back at my lovers as they cried over my body. My stomach twisted. My gut felt heavy, and my chest started to tighten.
“I can't believe this is it.”
“Is it?” he asked, and I turned to him, noticing his raised eyebrow. “I mean, the gods did favor you after all.”
I let out a huff.
“If that's what you call it nowadays.”
He rammed his elbow into my side.
“They’re listening, you know? Don't make them regret what they did.”
I knew what he was saying had some merit. I felt them there, and I knew they saved me. But I didn’t know how or why.
“It was all in vain,” I said with a sigh. “They saved me just so I could die a few hours later.”
“Aren't those interesting?” Max suddenly commented, changing the subject, and motioned to the shifters, who still hadn't changed from their beast form.
I let my eyes linger on them.
“I thought they were a rumor. A badly thought-up fairytale,” I admitted.
I had heard stories of them, whispered here and there, but nothing credible. I just assumed it was all made up.
“An experiment. Dumped into the Underground by a corrupt ruler. A decade later, that place is filled with them.”
“What are they really? Do we consider them witches anymore?”
Max shrugged. “I don't know. I know they started as witches, but now they have turned into something else entirely.”
Silence fell between us. I didn't want to look at my dead body anymore. Or watch them cry over me.
“You got really lucky with them. I guess it’s good it all worked out in the end.”
“Is there a reason why I'm here?” I asked, getting frustrated. “As much as I want to see Aurelia and Vesper, it hurts to see them like this. You being here is telling me this isn't some type of afterlife, so… what's happening?”
He sent me a smirk. “Quick one, aren’t ya?”
I let out a huff.
“You were going to die. You felt it, right? It was warm. Comforting. Just like a lover’s embrace. You almost fell into it.”
“Until you woke me up.”
“You'll thank me in a bit.”
He took a step forward, getting closer to my body and my lovers. Unable to stop my curiosity, I followed him.
My eyes started to widen when I realized what he was seeing.
My wound was closing. Vesper and Aurelia were talking, but I couldn't make out what they were saying, all of it melding together into background noise.
“You know, most witches don't make the change,” he said. “Their magic fights it off and lets them go back to their gods only to start the cycle again when the time is right. But you're different. Like I said, the gods favored you.”
It took me a few seconds to grasp what he meant, but when I did, happiness burst out of my chest.
And then some slight apprehension.
“You were distracting me while the change ran its course.”
“Couldn't have you giving up so soon. Their blood was still in you; it just needed some time to start working. Just like when Vesper's human part was starved to death and her vampire part was fed with blood. We have to die in order to be reborn.”
“And my magic? Will I get it back one day?”
He shrugged. “I don't know, but is that really what you care about?”
In all honesty, no.
They were.
And I was happy that I would live out my dreams with them.
Magic had once been my life, but it was also the reason why I was stuck in the coven. The reason why I was abused by him.
A part of me that was there my entire life would no longer exist. The Cedar I once was would be gone, but just like Max said, in order to be reborn, I had to die first.
I would gladly take it.
I could feel it working as I stared at myself. My tether to this in-between world we were in was starting to fade.
“Thank you,” I told Max. “Because of you, I met them. And because of you, we were able to stay together.”
He stood straight and gave me a smile. “You know, I only did it for myself.”
It was my turn to smile at him.
“You know I can tell that's a lie. You're a good one, Max. And I hope you can start living the life they stole from you. Morgan is waiting for you. She never gave up hope.”
The world around us started to fall away, and just as it was about to fully disappear into darkness, I heard him whisper one last thing.
“Make the most of it. Together.”