Chapter 24
twenty-four
She was changing right before my eyes.
It wasn’t anything big. Not even something physical. Just her energy that was shifting, and I felt it as if I could read it on a page. Or her eyes that continued to get paler and paler, before they shone silver when the light hit her right.
“Hello,” I foolishly said, feeling so awkward in my own skin as she watched me—like she was reading every page of me, too.
“You’ve come a long way, Nilah Dune,” she told me, and when she spoke, her voice sounded different from before, too. Heavier. Deeper. More…anchored somehow.
Licking my dry lips, I took a look around as if to remind myself that I was surrounded by trees, and that Rune was just there, watching me, and Maera stood with her wolves to his side.
Most of the sorcerers had already left, and the forest wasn’t so crowded anymore, but plenty had stayed.
At least a couple dozen of them spread out around us.
Impossible not to be aware of them at all times.
“I have. I came back through a ley line, actually,” I muttered.
“Yes,” the woman said. “I see you.”
Fuck if that wasn’t the creepiest thing I’d ever been told—by a woman who looked both perfectly stable on her feet, and like she was about to collapse on the ground any second at the same time.
“Oh.” What the hell does that even mean?
“You’ve come a long way, but your journey isn’t over yet.
You’re torn. I feel it. And I have yet to understand the sight given to me, but I know two things to tell you today.
” A touch of a smile curled the corners of her lips.
I held my breath until she spoke, and I didn’t even know why.
“The first one is that I will be prepared when you return. And the second—it is always your choice.”
I shook my head, the words running through my mind, refusing to make sense just now.
“Return where? And what choice?”
“To the Frozen Court,” she said. “And the only choice that matters—to stay or to leave.”
“To stay or to leave Verenthia.” My voice shook. The woman nodded. “It’s not really much of a choice, though, is it? I spoke to the Council. If what they said is true, if I leave Verenthia, I’ll have doomed everyone in it.”
“It is true,” Neria said without hesitation.
“And you will.” My God, it was like she drove a knife in my gut and twisted it—and I was so surprised.
Shocked that she would say that to my face, just like that.
“We must all live with the consequences of our actions, whether they be good or bad. But the choice to act is always, ultimately, yours.”
I laughed, only because I was trying not to cry, and I moved almost instinctively to turn my back to Rune and Maera, because suddenly I felt…naked. I felt like I was betraying them both simply by considering I really might have a choice.
“That’s bullshit. I could never live with myself—no,” I hissed. “There must be another way. I can’t…I don’t…” I grabbed my head in my hands, and fuck, I was panicking. “I am not a queen—I’m just not!”
“Not yet,” the woman said, and stepped back. She was smiling like one does at a confused little kid who couldn’t yet understand something basic. “I have faith. And I will be prepared when you return—should you choose to.”
“Wait, wait, I…” Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathed in deeply and tried to get back my control. “This isn’t fair. This isn’t…I can’t…” The words just weren’t there.
The woman thought about it for a moment, then said, “Whoever said anything in life was fair?”
A few minutes had passed since the start of our conversation, and I could hardly believe my eyes, but she had changed even more.
When she stepped back and smiled at me for the last time, I was certain I was looking at a completely different person from the woman she had been when she was on her knees, choking on my magic or even when she made that reading.
She was completely transformed, and I couldn’t even tell you how. It was small things that made a huge difference—the way she looked, the way she smiled, the way she carried her shoulders and held her hands in front of her—but most of all, the energy she radiated. The magic. The power and the calm.
Like…like a seer would. Like the two seers I had met before. Different, but so much the same.
“Until next time, Nilah Dune,” Neria said, and she turned around all by herself, and headed for the forest.
Which scared me a little bit. “Are you…are you sure you’ll be okay?” Because she moved so slowly—and did she even know the way to the Frozen Court? Could she get there on foot all alone like that?
“I will be all right,” the woman whispered, and the wind that blew on the side of my face carried her voice right into my ear.
I was left staring after her, unsure what the hell to make out of anything once more.
“Wildcat,” Rune said, and I hadn’t heard him approaching, but he was right there anyway.
Rune is here.
Just like every other time, when those words made sense to me, everything else took a step back. The universe ceased to matter all that much, and I basically fell against his chest with my shoulder, closed my eyes, desperate for warmth and peace and sense.
“Can I carry you?” Rune whispered, his hand over my cheek, and fuck, it felt so good I was melting.
“I think I’ll be fine.” Raising my head, I looked up at him, touched his smooth cheek, breathed in his scent. “You’re okay.”
“I am.”
“You’re a king.”
A flinch. “I am.”
I smiled. “Where is Raja? Where’s Vair? How did you find me?”
Rune froze. Every muscle on his body locked down for a moment, and I could tell because I was practically lying against him.
“Rune?” I leaned back, searched for his eyes, but he was looking at the ground.
“Raja’s fine. She’s at the Midnight Palace,” he said as he slowly slipped his hand in the pocket of his pants.
“And Vair?” Because it occurred to me now that Vair would have known that I was here already. He’d have found me, even before Rune did. He always knew, and…
I looked around us, at the forest, the trees, but there was no silver-white snow lynx walking toward me.
“Nilah,” Rune whispered, calling my eyes to his fist that he’d raised between us as he slowly opened his fingers.
Except there was no bird made out of blueish-white light in the middle of his palm, waiting to greet me.
Instead, there was this cube made of what I first thought was white stone, but no.
It felt smoother when I picked it up, possibly marble, and it wasn’t just a square piece, but it was engraved all over. Almost like those Minecraft animals.
On one side was the engraving of a face I knew well.
It was Vair’s face. Vair’s eyes. Vair’s whiskers, and Vair’s ears.
“I’m sorry,” Rune was whispering, but his voice seemed to be coming from very far away, and I couldn’t even see the cube in my hand anymore because there were too many tears competing to come out of my eyes first. They turned the world into a blurry mess, and my legs refused to hold me, and my heart was beating like it might want to break me from the inside.
The eyes, the shape of his jaws, his ears, his tail—the little cube was indeed Vair, and it was wrong.
Vair was an animal. A silver-white snow lynx, not a piece of marble.
My mind was shutting down so fast. The pain was so much, so big, like an ocean sucking me under while I struggled to breathe, to hold on, to stay above the surface.
What the hell is happening?! asked a voice in my head, and I didn’t know, but it happened fast. It happened all at once until I was completely lost in the darkness and couldn’t even hold onto Rune’s voice anymore.
My eyes opened only halfway and I was calm. I was half seated and I was moving, but I was secured tightly with an arm around my back. Rune’s arm. My head was against his chest, just under his chin, and my legs were over his, my ass against the edge of the saddle.
We were riding on a horse together. Just like we did that time.
Something inside me ached, but my thoughts were still muddy, my vision still blurry. My heart was light, though. Feather light now.
Breathing in deeply, I let the scent of him wake me up all the way. My God, I’d missed him more than I knew how to even understand. He smelled of old leather and shadows and secrets, and one hundred percent Rune. He was warm. He was safe.
He was my home.
Tears pricked the back of my eyes even before I remembered the last time I’d been awake. You’d think by now nothing would surprise me anymore. You’d think having witnessed all I’d witnessed since I entered Mysthaven with Maera, I’d reach the limit of what could shock me, but no.
What used to be Vair was now a small cube made of marble, and I had no clue what the hell to make of it.
“Good morning, Wildcat. Did you rest?”
His voice slipped into my ears like it was trying to seduce me.
I smiled despite the pain in my chest, and I moved despite how heavy my limbs felt.
I straightened up a little and wrapped my arm around his shoulders, pressed my lips to the side of his neck, felt alive when he nearly crushed me to his chest with all his strength to keep me there.
“I think so,” I finally said. “You’re here.” Wherever here was—it didn’t really matter.
The horse we were riding stopped moving. Rune’s lips pressed against mine gently.
“I’m sorry, wildling. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner.”
“I don’t care,” I said because I really didn’t. He had reasons, I was sure he did. Good ones—and they still didn’t matter.
“I do,” Rune said, eyes squeezed shut like he was in pain.
I knew it hurt him. I knew how he felt—exactly how I felt when he needed my help and I couldn’t be there.
“Why didn’t you? I was on Earth. I was banished, I couldn’t…” My voice trailed off.
Something about the look in Rune’s eyes. The piece of marble in my hand.