Chapter 41
forty-one
The sun was high in the sky when we mounted our horses to leave the Unseelie Court behind.
Hil could not see us outside. Turns out, the Fire Palace wasn’t going to let him leave until it got to know him and their connection was strong enough—and Rune said he feared it would be longer for Hil than it had been for him because this palace had been dormant for so long.
He saw us in his throne room, though, and I could already see the changes in him, though they were subtle.
What I could feel clearly was his energy—the magic that now coursed through his veins.
Rune said he’d gotten all his power that came with the royal bloodline during their meeting the night before, and all the members of his assembly had witnessed it with their own eyes.
Rune had made sure he was safe while he was out of it for a few minutes, but when he’d come to, Hil had radiated power.
It was like a touch against my skin, warm and affectionate, like flames that weren’t too hot to burn, only soothe.
Yes, I definitely liked Hil, I decided. Especially when he gave me a bear hug when I went to shake his hand, and he told me that he was coming to sleep over in my palace just as soon as this one let him go.
He also begged Maera to consider staying with him for a little while longer because he wanted to take her to dinner—no joke—and though Maera pretended to not take him seriously, I could have sworn her cheeks were redder than usual. Until we got out, that is.
Until we were on our horses and on our way out of the kingdom, being escorted by three royal guards for no reason other than Hil insisted it would make him feel better.
By the time we made it to the gates, there were a lot of fae working on the ruined wall. No morvekai anywhere. They were all gone now, together with the fake king Lox, whose blood would forever be on my hands.
But the moment we stepped out of the gates, we saw the soldiers on the other side, and we all stopped in our tracks.
Armor painted black, dark hair and eyes—soldiers riding black horses.
Midnight fae, at least twenty of them, and they were looking right at us.
My heart about broke out of my ribcage.
“Rune?” I whispered, because these were his people, were they not? And three of them were already dismounting their horses, coming toward us on foot. Definitely Midnight soldiers.
Rune’s shoulders were perfectly rigid because he could see them, too. They weren’t just a figment of my imagination—they were really there, and when he looked at me for a second, his concern reflected clearly in his eyes.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, and jumped off his own horse.
That I didn’t cry out to him to not leave in that moment was a damn miracle, but somehow, I held myself back.
Instead, I tried to focus on the Unseelie soldiers behind us, watching curiously, unsure of what the hell to do.
I tried to focus on Maera, riding on her own horse on my right, looking at Rune as he made his way to meet the Midnight soldiers.
It’s okay, I tried to tell myself, tried to talk the demons screaming inside my head into calming down. The Midnight soldiers bowed when they were in front of Rune, spoke when he told them to, and he looked like he wasn’t even breathing while he listened—and it was okay.
“Can you hear anything?” I whispered despite my better judgment, but Maera was a werewolf. Her ears were far superior to mine.
“They’re too far,” she said, just like I knew she would.
Without thinking, I jumped off the horse myself.
“Nilah,” Maera warned and followed me, but I shook my head.
“I’m not going anywhere.” But fuck, I needed to move or this anxiety that had built up inside me was going to fucking kill me.
Rune wasn’t gone for longer than a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity to me.
And when he turned to make his way back toward us, and his soldiers went back to their own horses, I knew the second I saw his face.
The sun was still up in the sky, and I knew the colors of him perfectly.
Whatever it was that those soldiers had told Rune, he hadn’t liked it, and I was going to like it even less.
Still, with my hands fisted and my tongue between my teeth, I forced myself to appear calm as I waited for him to approach. Take step after step, eyes locked on mine, his expression never changing for a second.
Until…
“I have to get back to the Midnight Court, Wildling. I’m sorry.”
Just a few words, and they’d already broken me.
“Why? What happened?” I barely said, still trying to hold myself together. Still trying not to act like a little kid.
“Trouble at the palace. Nothing dangerous, but I have to get there as soon as I can.”
“Then I’ll come with you,” I whispered because it made perfect sense that I’d go. It made perfect sense that I’d continue to run from the Frozen Court for just a little longer.
“No,” Rune said with a shake of his head, the sound of the word so final I didn’t even consider screaming my guts out at him or telling him that it wasn’t his call. “No, Wildcat, I have to go alone. You will be taking my soldiers with you to make sure you’re safe.”
“We don’t need soldiers, Your Highness. I promise you, she will be safe,” said Maera from behind me.
“I know that. It’s just an extra measure.” Hands on my face as I blinked a million times just in case tears came, and I didn’t want to cry. “And it’s for the best that I leave now. I promise you, I will come find you in no time.”
Except I knew that was a lie, didn’t I? Because he had a kingdom to rule, just like Hil, and just like Lyall.
Just like me, no matter how nauseated the very thought made me. No matter how hard of a pill it was to swallow.
Rune had his court, and I was standing in the way. His people needed him, and he had to get back to them because that’s where he belonged.
And I was going to respect that no matter how much of me I had to bury to do it.
So, I breathed in deeply and I straightened my shoulders and I raised my chin as if I were suddenly possessed by another person.
I looked Rune in the eyes and I touched the edges of the stubble that had just started to grow on his skin.
I knew I’d see him again. That, I didn’t doubt.
But even so, I was in pieces a second in, because seeing him was never going to be enough.
“It’s okay,” I said, the words so foreign on my tongue I almost double-checked that I’d said them. “It’s okay, Rune. Go. Your people need you.” And what was a human girl in the face of an entire court of people he had a duty to?
Rune didn’t move for a short second, searched my eyes without ever blinking his as if to try to make sure that I really said that. That I really meant it.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he told me and kissed my lips. Except his kiss didn’t have the same weight as usual. Not as the ones we shared in the Fire Palace.
That was okay, too.
And if it wasn’t, it would be.
“I know,” I lied.
“I’ll find you. Maera will be there. The soldiers won’t let anyone near you,” Rune said and gave me another kiss.
I kissed him back, even if this time it was empty. Just a meeting of lips. Just a touch. Not connection.
“I’ll be fine. Go,” I said because what else was there to say?
“I know. You will. I’ll find you,” Rune repeated another three times as he kissed me, and it sounded like he was talking to himself more than me.
But that didn’t change the fact that he eventually let go of me and stepped back, nodded his head at Maera, and turned his back to me.
He looked back every few feet as if to make sure I was still there, and I tried my best to offer him a smile because I knew it wasn’t fair to expect him to turn his back on his people. They needed him.
But then again, so did I.
“Come, Nilah. The sooner we get to the Frozen Court, the sooner all this will be over.” Maera gently pulled me by the arm to guide me to the horse again while I stared after Rune.
What she didn’t realize was that to me, it was already over. Everything was done.
“Of course,” I said and let her lead me to the horse again, let her help me up on the saddle, watched the Unseelie soldiers standing behind us retreat the closer the Midnight soldiers came to us.
Rune was riding on a horse of his own, too, a black one now. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was looking at me even though he was at least fifty feet away.
Our eyes locked and my heart screamed. He didn’t hear it.
Then his soldiers that were coming to us in a perfect formation took the view of him from me.
I didn’t see him again.
Must have been a dream.
I wasn’t sure how long we rode the horses for, but the outer walls of the Frozen Court began possibly less than a mile away from the Unseelie, and they were separated only by a few rows of trees.
Maera said these lands between courts belonged to all fae and to none, and that if we were to walk ahead we’d eventually reach the shore on the other side of the faelands.
Maybe someday, I’d want to do just that.
Right now, we were walking among twenty Midnight soldiers, big, muscular fae men and women wearing armor, with silver swords and weapons strapped to their persons, helmets covering most of their heads.
Five of them were ahead, and the rest had wrapped around us in a half circle.
I could have sworn that even when their horses stepped forward, they did so at the exact same time, like they’d been walking together since forever.
A true army, just like the soldiers of the Seelie Court.
Maera was a little nervous, and she kept casting glances at them on all sides, but she never said anything. She trusted Rune, and I did, too. He’d have never sent these soldiers with us if he had any doubts that we wouldn’t be safe.
But even so, the entire time that it took us to get to the main gates of the Frozen Court, it really did feel like a dream. Not reality—no way—even though I knew it was.
Then there were the gates.