Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
David
T here’s a baby crying. She’s wailing. Hard. But I can’t see her. She’s in another room. Even so, I can hear her anguished screams and the ragged gasps she makes between them. It’s a horrible sound. Suffering .
I need to fix it. I would do anything to make that sound stop .
But I can’t. I can’t move. Every new wail is like a fresh stab of pain. My head aches, and my pulse is too fast. But my feet are rooted to the floor. There’s something terrifying in front of me. I can’t lift my gaze because I’ll see it again. I can’t look .
Still. The screams. She needs me .
The carpeting beneath my feet is dirty. It’s a dull gray color, but it used to be white. And there is a sick, green stain near the toe of my sneaker. It’s the color of …
I sat up fast, almost nailing my head on the reading light affixed to the wall. For a moment my eyes darted around, taking in the details of my room in the cabin. Meanwhile, my chest heaved as I tried to take in oxygen .
Kicking off the covers, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. My sweaty body needed space. It helped that I’d left the window open overnight, and the sweet Vermont air was good for breathing deeply .
I closed my eyes and inhaled all the way to my diaphragm, the way my yoga teacher—O’Doul’s girlfriend—encouraged us to do. Then I exhaled the last of my panic .
What a fucking dumb dream. Crying babies? My subconscious had gone right for the cheap joke .
I raised my arms overhead and then bent slowly at the waist, hanging my head, stretching out my back. There. My panic was receding, leaving me with a calmness that was much more me .
Another day. Another chance to get it right. Nobody became a veteran NHL player without being able to center himself. Every professional hockey player worth his paycheck could shake off the prior day’s disasters and start fresh .
Standing up again, I took stock of my day. I’d reserved some gear and hired a guide for a fly-fishing expedition in the very river that ran past Zara’s family’s businesses. But my teammates could go without me. I’d need the day to call the lawyer and learn a few things about my legal obligations to Zara’s child .
A man takes care of his people first and goes fishing with his buddies later .
I found a pair of shorts in my suitcase and pulled them on, listening to the quiet chatter of my teammates’ voices elsewhere in the house. I’d taken the upstairs master suite for myself, of course. The guy who planned the expedition always got dibs. My teammates weren’t doing so badly downstairs, though. O’Doul had a queen-sized bed with its own bathroom, and Trevi and Castro were doubled up in a bunk room .
“Oh man,” Trevi had complained last night. “I see how it is. The rookie gets the bunkbed .”
“That’s right, college boy,” O’Doul had teased. “You’re used to dorm rooms. You and Castro. This will be like memory lane .”
“You shoulda given the single guy his own room,” Castro had grumped. “If I hook up I’m gonna put a bandanna on the door handle, Trevi. If this bunk bed is a rocking, don’t come a knocking .”
It had just been smack talk, though. We’d all come home from the bar together last night .
Now, as I descended the stairs, I heard Castro’s chuckle. Then I was startled to hear a feminine giggle. And not just any feminine giggle . Holy …
I rounded the corner at the bottom of the staircase and walked into the great room to find the giggle’s owner. “Bess?” I yelped. “What are you doing here ?”
My sister stood up and squared off against me, her face losing every trace of humor. “What am I doing here? That is the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me in your whole freaking life. And that’s saying something .”
Right .
Okay .
One more deep breath .
“I know I caused drama,” I said in my calmest voice. “But I’m going to handle everything that needs handling. You can go back to your other PR disasters, okay? This isn’t a DUI. I didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s not going to end up in the paper. I’m a big boy, and I know how to clean up my own messes. I got it, Bess. I’m going to do the right thing. All of ’em. Whatever the lawyer tells me .”
For some reason, Bess looked even more upset at the conclusion of my rambling little speech. Castro turned his face aside, as if bracing for impact. I couldn’t figure out why. And then Bess stepped up into my personal space, her eyes pinched. Her cheeks red. She lifted her hands and clamped on to my shoulders. “You moron! I’m here to meet my niece . Our only living relative! My brother’s child …”
She actually began to shake me, and I started to lose it a little. We did not touch each other in anger. I stepped back and caught her hands in mine . “ Bess …”
“What?” she gasped. “This is big , Davey. I get that it’s easier for you to go into macho damage-control mode right now. But your life just changed for the better. And I hope you’re not too stupid to figure that out .”
That left me pretty much speechless, while my teammates looked at their feet, their hands. Anywhere but at me. “So what is your plan?” I finally ground out. “Just barge in there and ask to inspect the kid? What if we’re not welcome ?”
Bess lifted her chin. “You have rights. You can sue for visitation. But first we’re just going to ask nicely .”
“Uh…” O’Doul said with a chuckle. “If I could make a suggestion? First we’re going to take a deep breath and eat breakfast .”
I wanted to hug him for breaking up the most intense conversation I’d ever endured before my first cup of coffee. “Right. First things first,” I said. “Time for bacon and eggs .”
* * *
I fried up two pounds of bacon and then whipped up a big frittata. Then, leaving Bess in charge of making toast for everyone, I snuck out onto the porch to dial Zara’s coffee shop .
“You’ve reached The Busy Bean, this is Audrey speaking. How can I help you ?”
“Hi, Audrey. My name is Dave Beringer. I’m a friend of Zara’s. Is she available by any chance?” Audrey was Zara’s co-worker. I was pretty sure .
“Negative,” Audrey said. “Hang on a sec.” I heard her ask a customer whether they wanted cinnamon or cocoa on their latte. Then she came back. “Sorry. The morning rush is upon us. But this is Zara’s morning off. You should try her phone .”
“I, uh, don’t have that number. I came in yesterday, though. You might remember me. I said hello to Zara, and she took off like she’d seen a ghost .”
“Hmm.” There was a silence on the line. “And now you need to reach her ?”
“I’d like to see her this morning. Is there any way you could text her my number? She’ll know what it’s about .”
“Okay,” Audrey said immediately. “Just let me grab a pen .”