Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Zara
“W hy the long face?” Audrey asked the next day as we stood behind the counter at The Busy Bean eating lunch. The lunch was chicken salad with grapes and blue cheese, and it was just as fabulous as everything else Audrey made .
“It’s not the food,” I said, shoveling another bite in. I could eat my weight in Audrey’s chicken salad .
“Then what is it? Man troubles ?”
“Sort of. I freaked out at Dave yesterday.” That was a horrible understatement. I was too embarrassed to tell Audrey that I had actually slapped him .
“ Why ?”
“He kissed me .”
Her eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. “Wow. Go , Dave .”
“We can’t , Audrey. Our days of wild sex together are over .”
She blinked at me and then pinched her top between two fingers and fanned her chest with it. “Wild, huh? Like…really wild? Give me a visual .”
“No way.” Although since he’d come back to town, my dirty mind was full of them. “He’ll never try it again, anyway. I can promise you that .”
She made a sad face. “Time to apologize ?”
“Obviously. But there’s a text from him on my phone, and I’m afraid to look. I’m half afraid it says, ‘Decided to go back to Brooklyn. Nice knowing you .’”
“I’ll look.” She held out her hand for my phone .
I took another bite of chicken salad. For courage. Then I unlocked my phone and handed it over .
Audrey tapped on the screen a couple of times, then smiled . “ Aw !”
“ What ?”
She turned the phone around and showed me. It was a picture of Dave on the summit of a hill somewhere. I was temporarily distracted by the view of his muscular thighs emerging from his shorts. But then I noticed he held a handmade sign—marker on paper—which read: Insensitive Jerk Alert . And then in parentheses, But he’s sorry .
“Well, shit,” I sputtered. “He apologized first, damn him .”
“That is freaking adorable ,” Audrey said. “Come on. We have to make your reply just as cute .”
“How?” I wasn’t sure I deserved to be cute. I’d been really out of line earlier and didn’t know how to come back from that .
Audrey grabbed an order slip off the stack and slapped it onto the counter. Then she took a Sharpie out of our junk drawer and handed it to me .
What to say to this man who scared me so badly? I’d never given anyone such power over my emotions before. I hadn’t meant for it to happen. But his appearance, disappearance, and subsequent reappearance had all wreaked havoc on my psyche .
I might as well turn my apology into something cute, because I was never going to tell him how I really felt .
The pen was heavy in my hand. Finally, I uncapped it and wrote :
Awful Drama Queen Alert
(She’s even MORE sorry )
“That’ll do,” Audrey said. “Hold it up.” But when I did, she waved me over to the side. “Stand there—in front of the wooden beam. That’s cute. Now uncross your arms and look sexy .”
“I don’t know how to do that. Just take the damned photo .”
“Smile, damn it .”
I tried .
At long last, Audrey took the photo. “I’m hitting Send so you can’t chicken out .”
“Fine.” I wouldn’t have, anyway .
“You should go home,” she said, handing back my phone. “It’s my day to close .”
It was. “See you tomorrow .”
“Hey.” She stopped me. “Can I drop off my wedding favors on Sunday ?”
“Of course. Later !”
Audrey gave me another cheery wave, and I went home to find Benito on the couch with Nicole giggling on his chest. “No really,” he said to my baby girl. “When are you going to talk? Just one word. Ben. B-b- b - ben !”
She howled .
“You think this is funny? This is serious business. Your mama is home .”
Nicole gave a little shriek and climbed off my twin .
“You sent Mom home?” I asked, scooping her up .
“She went to get her hair done .”
“Nice of you to step in .”
“If you want to be the favorite uncle, you have to put in the hours.” He sat up. “Hey—Audrey invited me to her wedding .”
“Yeah? That was nice of her.” I wasn’t going to tell him that Audrey kept extra invitations in her purse because we lived in a small town and she’d invited pretty much everyone. The wedding had begun as a modest affair at the Shipley orchard, and then had morphed into a huge party at the Shipley farm. Multiple tents. Catered barbecue. Two different groups playing live music. Audrey’s rich mother was footing the bill .
“She says you don’t have a date .”
“Like that’s news?” Nicole started plucking at my T-shirt so I sat down beside my brother and lifted my shirt .
“I’ll go with you if you need one. But I’d offered to tend bar that night for Smitty so he could go to the wedding .”
“I don’t need a date to Audrey’s wedding.” I made the baby comfortable and sighed as she latched on. “Mom is babysitting for me, so I can’t stay late, anyway .”
“Okay,” my brother said slowly. “It’s just that , well …”
“It’s weird for me to be in Griff’s wedding ?”
He grinned. “Not weird. Uncomfortable .”
I shook my head. “It’s okay. That was a long time ago. It’s not uncomfortable.” Not much, anyway. “Thanks, though. You might as well tend bar .”
“All right.” He stood up. “You think I can toss the bottles around like Tom Cruise in Cocktail ?”
“If that’s your goal in life, have at it .”
He left, and just after the door clicked shut, my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I fetched it carefully so as not to disturb the nursing princess. She was drinking in slow, lazy pulls .
Another text .
David : Don’t apologize. I realize I shouldn’t have assumed anything .
Zara : Not a big leap, though. Historically. And I could have disengaged without violence! Seriously, that was not cool and I’m sorry. If I saw you hit someone I would *not* think it was okay .
David : Not a hockey fan , then ?
Zara : That’s different. I think. Isn’t it ?
David : I’m not the kind of player who fights, generally. But I was just making a joke, Z. Let’s just move on. I’m truly sorry I assumed things .
Zara : I’m truly sorry I hit you .
David : Serious question. Am I coming on Sunday or not? It’s okay either way but Sunday is in 48 hours so I need some guidance .
What to do? I was anxious about the testosterone-fest that Sunday might be—my uncles and brothers, all staring him down. On the other hand, if Dave decided to play a part in his daughter’s life, the uncomfortable gathering would happen sooner or later. Kindergarten graduation, maybe. Or Christmas ?
The idea of seeing Dave a couple of times a year to facilitate visits with Nicole made my heart lurch with both excitement and dread. No matter how many years went by, I’d always look at his handsome face and think, if only .
David : You are thinking really hard over there .
I really was .
Zara : You should come. I’ll text the details today. I promise .
Dave : Okay gorgeous. Now I should go. I’m standing in a river right now, trying to catch a fish .
Zara : Really ?
He sent a selfie a minute later, and I laughed aloud. Shorts and waders was a pretty silly look. But, damn him, Dave was still hotter than a July afternoon .
That pang? It would never go away .
Zara : Funny, I’m doing exactly the same thing right now .
Dave : Seriously ?
Zara : No. But it’s nice to know you’re so gullible .
I held up my phone and took a picture of Nicole and I nursing on the couch. Her eyes were half-mast, her little mouth slurping lazily at my breast. It was a hundred percent reality and not the least bit sexy .
After I hit send, I sent him directions to my family’s farm .