Chapter 21
W hen we return to the lodge, I pull up behind her car and give her the rest of Monday off because I need headspace. I'm so hung up on this girl.
Seeing her out on the ranch today felt so natural. She wore an adorable look of wonder the entire morning. Cheeks and nose flushed from the biting cold, she was more beautiful than I’d ever seen her—and it scared the shit out of me. The feelings churning inside me were threatening to ooze out.
I find myself imagining her there every day, walking beside me through my daily chores.
Listening to her speak so lovingly to her friend’s horse did me in.
A thread snapped. I wasn’t angry or anything but overwhelmed and felt like I needed an escape.
Me and strong feelings aren't good friends, and while I typically shut them down completely, I want to explore my feelings for her. But I can’t fucking think when she's close to me.
She draws me in like a moth to a flame and I'd happily burn if it meant I could be near her.
It didn’t slip past me that she was in full makeup today. I knew I fucked things up with her before Thanksgiving and I feared she might revert to hiding behind her mask. I'm determined to break through those barriers again.
I’m struggling to process how I'm feeling about Isabelle. The best my stunted emotional intelligence can conclude is that I want her.
God, do I want her.
But the cards are stacked against me with my heavy baggage and the number of times I’ve already hurt her.
I know I don’t deserve her. But I'm selfish. I want her and I'll find a way to bring her back to me.
I find Isabelle sitting cross legged on the floor of my office. Her head’s tipped down, her hair shielding me from her beautiful face. She's in the middle of a sketch, pausing to chew on the end of her pen.
She’s wearing a cream, off-the-shoulder sweater that looks as soft as a cloud, with jeans that are ripped and distressed from wear or for aesthetic.
She’s been wearing more of the type of clothes she said she coveted on her sister.
I love that her growing confidence has allowed her to branch out and re-create herself a bit, even if it’s just cotton and polyester.
Her overnight bag is serving as her back rest. I only manage to watch her for a moment because she startles at the sound of my boots entering the room.
“Good morning!” Her tone is as bright as her eyes.
She uncrosses those luscious legs and slips back into her boots. The same damn boots she wore on the ranch. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re just your average cowboy boots, but they're worn out. Spots have worn down and the leather has cracked along the creases and seams.
She must’ve been fucking freezing out on the ranch, but she never once complained. She’s got her denim jacket today, not the heavier bomber jacket she was wearing Monday. Again, nothing is wrong with either, but they sure as shit ain’t heavy enough to keep her warm on the ranch.
I’m going to have to do something about that. Now isn’t the time to analyze why I’ve decided to concern myself with her wardrobe.
“Mornin’. Slight change to the schedule.
We acquired a new property and need to get it ready to rent as soon as possible, so we’re going there instead of the ski lodge.
It should rent in a heartbeat, being so close to Christmas.
But it needs some cosmetic work. We already had it deep cleaned but need your opinion on all new furnishings and decor. ”
She looks elated. Happiness looks so damn good on her.
As a matter of fact, I can see details I’ve missed on her face hiding beneath all that makeup.
I’m relieved she isn’t wearing any face shit today, just the black on her eyelashes and something shiny on her lips.
Maybe she’s trusting me again enough not to wear all the makeup.
Fuck, her lips look good enough to eat. I wonder if they taste as good as I’ve imagined.
“You think you’re up for the job?” I ask, already seeing the answer written all over her smiling face.
“Hell yes!” she exclaims, and quickly hedges, “I mean, yes, I can handle it.”
“Great. It’s a bit farther away than the property we were scheduled to go to this week, so we’d better hit the road. You got everything you need?”
She salutes me like she’s Cadet Barbie and says, “Yes sir!” Fuck I like that. I like that a lot. I’m going to revisit why I like that so much later tonight.
Alone in my room.
With my hand around my cock.