Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
June
The birds chirped obnoxiously outside. I adored not hearing traffic outside my window, but the birds and frogs were extra loud in the country. Still, the pleasure of waking up to a warm, strong body behind me was worth it. Even in an empty bed, I’d take wildlife sounds any day of the week.
A strong arm banded around me. I’d gone to sleep in Rhys’s arms. The sex had been great as always, but he’d been quiet. Introspective. I’d asked him what was on his mind, but he’d said it was the short night of sleep he’d gotten thanks to the sex.
Didn’t he realize I could still tell when he wasn’t saying everything? I rarely got the sense he wasn’t being transparent, but there were times I knew . Usually, it related to his real feelings regarding his dad and especially when he discussed his mom. I usually got the glossed-over version, like he was making his time with her seem better than it had been.
He let out a gentle groan and buried his nose in my neck.
I wiggled my ass against him. “Morning.”
He slipped his hand down my belly. All I had on was a nightshirt. No underwear. Mostly for this situation, but I was dying to pry. Why had he been stuck in his head last night? Why wouldn’t he talk to me?
Because we weren’t in a relationship. We fucked around. This was fucking around. So as he slipped his hand lower, I stuffed all my questions to the back of my mind and widened my legs.
His strong fingers found my clit and an appreciative groan left him. “You’re wet for me.”
“Mmm.” I kept my eyes closed and rode his fingers. This was what I had wanted to experience. A lazy morning of lovemaking. He’d rush off to do chores soon enough, but I was the first thing on his mind. I was the one he reached for as soon as he woke. No schedule came first. No performance. No urgency to return messages, calls, or DMs in every single social media platform we could be on.
I’d never had that, yet I’d always known I would’ve had it with Rhys.
“ Damn , June.” He hitched my leg higher with one of his and wedged his erection at the juncture of my thighs.
I ground into him and he slipped inside.
Nothing but our pants and moans filled the air. Like last night, he was quieter.
The mattress rocked. The wooden headboard banged against the wall. The springs squeaked. He pounded away, thrusting in and out with ruthless precision. His fingertip rested on my clit and the movement alone was enough to stroke me toward my peak.
“Rhys,” I said on a long moan. I coasted toward the top and then rolled over. Pleasure coursed through me, reaching a crescendo. I rode the wave, milking him as long as possible.
“Let it all go. Take everything I’ve got.” He punched into me once, twice more, then stiffened. His hot release filled me and I clenched around him as my orgasm continued to ripple through me.
We collapsed on our sides and he pulled out of me. He pressed his forehead against my back, his breathing heating my skin. Did he realize how hard his hand was gripping my hip? The wetness from my climax was sticky between his fingers and me. We’d come together hard and fast, but even in this, he was subdued. Quiet.
A few moments of silence passed before I wiggled out of his hold to the edge of the bed. I rose. The cooler air of the morning wafted over my heated legs. I yanked my nightshirt over my head and tossed it on my pillow.
His hot gaze dipped to my bare breasts, appreciation shining in his dark-blue gaze.
I stole one full-bodied glance at him. His big body was sprawled with his legs cocked apart. Dark hair scattered over his chest and trailed down before dusting over his legs. Heavy ball sack. His erection was growing again. Every inch of this man was desirable.
But I didn’t just want his body. Like it or not, I didn’t want to just be a sex object to him. We had a connection that couldn’t be defined as exes or friends, and lovers was too weak. There was more between us than our hormones.
I squared my shoulders, jutting my breasts up. My nipples were peaked and the desire from earlier hadn’t completely gone away, like his erection. The move drew his gaze.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I announced. “Maybe when I come out, you’ll be ready to actually open up to me a little. I don’t like feeling used.”
His brows dropped down, his gaze growing troubled. I left the bedroom and went into the bathroom.
My heart was racing. I didn’t want this time between us to end. We had almost the full two weeks before the girls were back with him. Then what little he was willing to risk until I left after the fundraiser.
I don’t like feeling used? Where had that come from? Rhys would never use me, and it was up to him who he talked to and what he said. Instead, I’d guilted him into staying the night and then acted like I wouldn’t put out again if he didn’t bare his soul.
Dammit.
I flipped on the water and waited for it to warm up. When I stepped under it, I tipped my head back. The weight of my wet hair pulled at my scalp. I closed my eyes. I’d messed up. When I was done, I would request that he forget I’d said anything.
The bathroom door cracked open. I opened my eyes and tracked his shadow on the other side of the curtain. He stopped at the sink, riffled through his toiletry bag, and started brushing his teeth.
“I’m sorry,” I said, jerking my gaze off him. I smacked the bodywash bottle against my hand to squirt some out. “You are under no obligation to talk to me. I guess... it’s just hard, you know. I can tell when you’re in your head, and I want to be in there with you, but I don’t have a claim to that space.” I quickly soaped up and rinsed off.
He clicked his toothbrush a few times on the sink.
My nerves crawled under my skin. “Even if we were, like, a thing , I wouldn’t have a claim to your thoughts.” When had ceaseless chatter become a habit? “I’m not withholding sex or anything. That’d be a dick move. We talked about what we’re doing and you’ve been honest. I just wanted you to know that.”
The shower curtain flapped open. A naked and very aroused Rhys stood in the opening, his erection straining toward me.
I wrung my wet hair out despite the shower spray staying on me.
“If I talk to you, will you let me in to lick that pretty pink pussy of yours?”
A shot of lust spiked in my veins. “You can do that without opening up to me.”
He crowded into the tub and didn’t flinch when the shower spray hit the side of his body. My back hit the cool wall.
I traced the drops of water sliding down his face into his damp beard, then ran my finger down the scar cutting through his top lip.
“How about we both open up?” He nudged my legs apart before lowering himself to his knees.
I let my head thump against the wall as he spread me with his thumb and licked his tongue through my folds. “Deal.”
Rhy s
The smell of eggs and sausage filled the air. June was at the sink, rinsing off fruit for breakfast. I was horribly late for the duties waiting for me at home, but I’d fed them all a little extra last night. The food had probably been gone fifteen minutes after I’d left, but this morning had been worth it.
“Everyone’s coming to work cattle next weekend,” June said. “My sisters and all their spouses are joining. You and the girls should come.”
I rolled up the sleeves of my flannel. “What would that make me?”
“A family friend who can call in a favor from any one of my siblings to help work his own cattle?”
“That’s a powerful deal.” I went to the skillet and moved around the fluffy eggs and sausage. My stomach rumbled.
I don’t like feeling used.
Those words had hit me hard. We had an arrangement to prevent her from getting hurt, but that was something I seemed good at doing. Leaving her bed, telling her we were just some high school stuff, and making her feel unwelcome in my house that first day after she had arrived.
My ex’s words had stayed with me, which wasn’t unexpected. But I hadn’t anticipated the way they’d burrow into my brain. Had I thought some part of this situation with June would manifest into a real future? I’d known what we were getting into. So had she.
But sometimes I wondered . . .
“Kirstin and I talked yesterday.” I took the pan off the stove and flicked the knob to off .
She finished, shaking the water off the strawberries and set them on the counter. “Oh?”
I gently spun her around to face me. “We agreed that seeing each other with other people is going to be a little awkward, but she’s dating too.” The next point had been sitting on my mind too. “She also mentioned she was between assignments. She didn’t come home only because she was worried the girls had been exposed. And she thinks I’m too scared to leave Bourbon Canyon.”
“Oh.” June blinked and shook her head like she was having trouble processing what I’d said. She frowned. “She was on her way to Montana anyway?”
“Who knows. She might’ve been planning to go somewhere else and rerouted to Bourbon Canyon. She might’ve bumped up her plans.” I didn’t tell June about Kirstin’s last comment, that she thought I’d cut her out of the kids’ life if I thought it best. Did I want my ex to be more attentive? Of course. But I wasn’t scaring her off of being with the girls, was I?
June leaned against the counter across from me and crossed her ankles. “And the fear? Why does she say that? You have people to take care of.”
“All I ever want to do is the right thing by the people I love.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I froze. I couldn’t take them back. I’d never fallen out of love with June.
June’s expression softened. “I know you do. It seems we both had hard talks with people close to us.”
“Which sister? Or was it Mae?”
“Mama’s already had her turn.” She pushed her hair back. “I might’ve mentioned to Autumn that I wasn’t sure if I wanted the next step. The stress of the album flopping. The hectic touring. I just don’t know if that’s what I want.”
It was. Without a doubt, June was made for performing. Her songs resonated with too many people. She was good on the stage. A natural.
I closed the few feet of distance between us. “You deserve it all.”
Her plump lower lip puffed out. “I don’t know if I want it all anymore.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry. We’re not talking about me.”
“Yes, we are. You do deserve it. Just like that little girl you used to be deserved a warm home and a roof over her head when it was storming out. Just like she deserved to be heard when she was terrified in that car wreck.”
“My parents tried?—”
I put my finger on her lips. She licked my fingertip and lust was quick to pool in my groin. “You keep doing that, we’re going to have a repeat of the shower.”
“Threats aren’t supposed to sound like incentives.”
I smiled and caged her against the counter. “You deserve to be successful. You’re working for it and you’re so damn talented. Holding back would be like... trapping a butterfly under a glass for eternity.”
Her eyes went liquid. “You always made me feel special.”
“Not always.” Our run-in at the funeral haunted me, but not nearly as much as her giving up ten yards before the finish line.
“The funeral was an emotional time for you,” she said, reading part of my expression. “I almost didn’t go.”
“I’m glad you did.” People here would’ve held it against her otherwise. My high school sweetheart blowing off my father’s death would have dimmed the admiration and protection of the people who knew both of us.
“Me too.” Her gaze flickered with indecision and she took a breath before she spoke again. “I thought of staying then, you know. Of never going back, but the trip... uh... reaffirmed the path I was on.”
After I’d told her she’d wasted a plane ticket if she’d thought I was waiting for her. Saying the words had been a knife twist to the goddamn gut, but necessary. I’d seen the indecision in her eyes, the homesickness, and the draw between us had still been there. It’d always be there. I hadn’t been strong enough to say no to her if she came to me, if we rekindled what we’d had.
“Good. You needed to stay on that path.”
And I would be the man she needed again. When it came time for her to go, I’d tell her that we were over, and I’d make sure she heard me this time.