Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Parker
I don’t want that kind of dessert.
My blood thundered in my head, the pounding so loud I wondered if he could hear it. Every heartbeat felt like a countdown, ticking closer to the moment when all my carefully guarded secrets would unravel. The weight of those secrets pressed down on me, guilt eating at my conscience. How could I keep leading him on, knowing the truth would one day come crashing down? Yet, despite the inner turmoil, I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. This man, with his rough exterior hiding a heart so tender it could calm a frightened kitten, had somehow found his way past my defenses. He was everything I didn’t know I needed: sweet, strong, and with a twitch to his lips that, when I managed to coax it out of him, sent warmth flooding through me.
What would happen when he found out who I really was? Would the light in his eyes dim, replaced by anger or disappointment? The thought sent a shiver of fear through me, twisting my stomach into knots. I wanted to protect him, to shield us both from the inevitable fallout, but how could I do that without pushing him away?
My eyes searched his, trying to find answers in the depths of that smoldering gaze. I could see the uncertainty lurking there, the same doubts that kept me awake at night. But beneath that, there was something more—something that sparked between us every time we were close, a connection that was undeniable, even if it terrified me. I wasn’t ready to let that go, not yet.
“Can…can we keep things casual?” I asked, a small tremble betraying the emotions I was struggling to keep under control.
He nodded slowly, his jaw tightening as if he was battling with himself. “I think that’s wise.” The words were careful, measured. “But exclusive,” he added, the possessiveness in his tone sending a thrill through me.
Stepping forward, I closed the small gap between us until our bodies were nearly touching, his heat radiating into me. My heart raced, and I could barely breathe as I whispered, “I don’t want anyone but you.” The confession hung in the air between us.
I reached up and clasped the back of his strong neck. I pulled him down, closing the distance that had been stretched taut between us all evening.
“Mmph.” He froze for a split second, arms stiff at his sides, and panic seized me. Was I pushing him too far, too fast?
But before the fear could take root, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him with a force that left no doubt about his feelings. He took control of the kiss, his lips moving over mine with a hunger that made my knees go weak.
He backed me up until my hips hit the counter, the solid surface a stark contrast to the way he made me feel—light, almost dizzy with desire. His body pressed against mine, hard and unyielding, caging me in with an intensity that left me breathless. When he slid his tongue against the seam of my lips, I opened for him, and he deepened the kiss until I was lost in his taste. A moan escaped me.
Everything about him intoxicated me—the savory way he tasted, the way his scent, warm and spicy, enveloped me, and the way his touch sent ribbons of excitement unfurling in my belly.
Keep it casual.
But the way he made me feel was anything but casual.
My hands moved of their own accord, dragging down the length of his muscular back to the hem of his T-shirt. I hesitated for only a moment before slipping my fingers underneath, my palms encountering the smooth, hot skin of his back. His muscles rippled under my touch, and a low, primal sound emerged from his chest.
He growled.
He actually growled.
The sound reverberated through me, sending a thrill of power coursing through my veins. I loved that I could do this to him, that I could make this strong, controlled man lose himself. My fingers dug into the hard planes of his back, and he groaned, the sound vibrating against my lips.
“Are you sure?” he asked. I could hear, could feel, the effort it took for him to control his wild desire. Every line of his body was tense, as if he was balancing on the edge, waiting for my answer before he let go.
“I am. This is sex, nothing more.” Liar. “We’re two consenting adults, having a good time for the night.” The weight of the lie nearly brought me to my knees. I wanted so much more with this man.
He crooked an eyebrow in question. “Just one night?”
“Tonight.” Once he learned the truth, the one night might be all we had.
My skin tingled as he ran a callused finger down my cheek. “One night won’t be enough. Know why?” he taunted me.
I gasped, goosebumps running down my spine, and shook my head. The implication scared me: this one night could wreck me, leaving me desperate for more.
“Because we’re going to be so good together, we won’t be able to stop,” he promised in a gravelly baritone.
I bit my lip. That’s what I was afraid of. But if we wanted to continue beyond one night, I’d have to come clean. Just the thought made me shiver.
But I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. Maybe we’d fizzle and burn out.
Ha!
I was deluding myself. Considering the sizzle in my veins simply from our kiss, there was little chance of that.
Bowen took my hand and unerringly led me to my bedroom. He grunted as he examined my bed, hands on hips, shaking his head at the barrier of the huge mound of throw pillows. He dismantled the pile, tossing the pillows onto the armchair in the corner, exposing the bed. Peeling back my duvet and sheet, he said, “Better.”
My mouth lifted into a grin, which he kissed away when his lips met mine. I wanted to touch him all over. But I started by caressing the back of his neck and brushing my fingers against the short, soft hair at the nape as he possessively wrapped me in his strong arms.
Pulling away, he said, “I’ve wanted to do this all night.” He nudged my hoop earring aside and placed a tiny kiss behind my earlobe. Then he peppered a line of kisses down my neck, the whole way to the tip of my shoulder.
Hairs rose on my arms, and my nipples pebbled. “Bowen,” I whispered, overwhelmed.
“Still want this?” he asked. But I could sense his need.
“More than ever.” I wrapped my calf around his, grinding my belly into his erection, urging him on. He hissed.
His light brown eyes locked with mine, and naked emotions I couldn’t interpret played across his face.
They probably mirrored the riot of feelings churning within me. Need for this man who was crunchy on the outside but marshmallow on the inside. Desire for this sexy, sculpted god. Guilt for keeping secrets from him.
I ruthlessly tamped down the guilt. It had no place in this bedroom, at this moment. I gripped the hem of my top, pulled it over my head, and tossed it aside. A lacy bra held my heavy breasts.
Bowen sucked in a harsh breath and his pupils blew wide.
My heart pounded as he traced a line down my throat to my cleavage, moving his finger from one side to the other along the top of the bra cups. His eyes followed along the path. “You can tell me to stop at any time.”
“Keep going,” I ordered, flirty yet demanding.
He slid his hands around my back and unhooked my bra but held it closed. He caught my eye, maybe waiting for my permission.
I gave it to him by yanking off my bra and dropping it to the floor. My breasts sprang free from their tight, itchy confinement.
His whiskey eyes trained on mine, he asked again, “You sure?”
“Touch me.” I brushed my hand along his jaw, his soft playoff beard tickling my palm. “I want you. I want this. No more questions.”
His large hand moved to my breast, cradling it, stroking my nipple with his thumb. My head fell back, and I moaned. A zing shot straight to my core. I allowed myself this satisfaction despite the secrets between us.
Stop thinking. Just feel.
Bowen lowered his head and took my nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. My body drew tight as a bowstring. I gripped the hair on the back of his head, holding him against me. “Yes, yes, yes,” I chanted.
He kissed his way to the other side. Who knew this rugged man had so many tiny kisses to give? He laved the other nipple, groaning when I arched into him and my belly pressed against his hard cock.
He fell to his knees with a thud, groaning.
Alarm raced through me, and I ran my hands across his broad shoulders. “Are you o?—”
He kissed a path from the valley of my breasts to the waist of my jeans.
“Oh,” I said with a sigh.
He placed his fingers on the button of my jeans and peered up at me from beneath thick, dark lashes.
“Please.” I couldn’t help the begging in my voice.
He unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, the rasp loud in the quiet room. His fingers hooked in both my pants and panties, and he tugged the garments down my legs.
I stepped out of my jeans, and he tossed them aside. I stood before him, completely naked, while he sat back on his heels at my feet, fully dressed. I could have felt self-conscious. Not every man appreciated a woman with curves like mine. But the approval in his eyes made me feel desirable. Sexy. Powerful.
Just like he was desirable, sexy, and powerful in my eyes.
He rose to his knees and placed a gentle kiss on my smooth, bare mound, his warm breath against my skin heating my core. Then he climbed to his full height and peered down at me. “Want to lie down?”
“First…” I grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and stood on my tiptoes to pull it over his head. I tossed it, and it sailed through the air to land on the pile of pillows. I ran my hands down his lightly furred, carved chest and abs to the waistband of his jeans. “Lose the pants,” I whispered.
He chucked his jeans, boxer briefs, and socks in record time, his long, thick, hard cock bobbing free.
Goodness. He was big all over. I sat on the edge of the bed, swung my legs up, and laid down on the soft, cool sheets. Patting the mattress, I encouraged him to join me.
“Spread your legs?”
It was a question, not a command, but his desire was apparent in his words and behind his eyes. Still, I held the reins, which eased any worry within me.
I moved my legs apart, at my most vulnerable, before his gaze. But I trusted him.
It was a shame he couldn’t trust me, but I would remedy that. Just not tonight.
Tonight was for pleasure. Mine—and his.
My pulse pounded in my ears as he kneeled between my legs, and I barely heard the rustle of the bedclothes over my thundering pulse.
He kissed the top of my foot, my ankle, and then my calf, sending waves of goosebumps outward like the ripples on a pond. I huffed deep as he continued along my thigh, closer and closer to my center. I bunched fistfuls of the sheet in my hands so tightly they threatened to tear under my nails. Finally, he placed a kiss there , and I gasped. He pulled my legs farther apart, opening me fully.
He ran his tongue up my sensitive slit, and my eyes practically rolled into the back of my head.
“Watch me pleasure you. Treasure you.”
I quivered. The silky words from the tough man were almost my undoing.
I met his gaze, and with that, he devoured me. He moaned as he flicked and licked, up and down and back and forth, faster and faster. I closed my eyes, and he stopped. So, I watched, heightening the experience. I climbed higher and higher. Finally, he sucked, and I flew out of my body and floated to the ceiling, weightless. I came with a cry, drifting back to myself, panting and boneless.
The orgasm devastated me, but I wanted more with Bowen. I wanted the ultimate intimacy.
“Condom?” I asked, my tone hopeful. Please say yes. I didn’t have any protection—I hadn’t needed a condom since I broke up with my ex.
He quickly retrieved a packet from the wallet in his jeans, ripped the foil open with his teeth, and rolled the protection down his length. Shifting, he hovered over me. “So beautiful when you come,” he rumbled. “Want to see you do it again.”
A hot flush spread across my skin, head to toe. “I’ve never…” Was that even possible for me?
“You will.” His cock slid against my vulnerable core, and I arched against him instinctively.
“Please,” I whispered. “Don’t tease me.” My voice throbbed with need.
“What do you want?” he asked, low and husky.
“You. I need you inside of me.” The danger of becoming closer to Bowen niggled in the back of my mind, but I shut it down. Selfishly, I wanted everything before I risked losing him.
He notched himself at my entrance and pushed slowly inside, allowing me to adjust to his size. As he sank deeper and deeper, my connection to him became more and more intimate. Stronger. More potent. I gripped his shoulders and dug my fingers into his corded muscles, grounding myself.
Beads of perspiration popped out on his forehead, and his jaw tightened with restraint. He paused. “Okay?”
“I’m good—I’m great.” I squirmed, trying to get closer. “I want all of you. Please. ”
He surged forward and bottomed out. I gasped at the feeling of fullness, but quickly accommodated to his girth and length. I wrapped my legs around his trim waist, holding on and pulling him as close as possible.
He set up a slow, steady rhythm and moaned. A stream of words fell from his lips. “So tight…hot…not going to last long.” As if he couldn’t help himself, he increased the speed of his thrusts.
My buzz of need quickly became a shock of electricity.
Bowen pounded into me, stroking just the right spot with every thrust. The electricity exploded into a million tiny sparks as I came for the second time, gasping, pinpoints of white light sparkling behind my closed eyelids.
His strokes became erratic, his breathing ragged, and he planted himself and shuddered as he came with a shout. Panting, he collapsed to his elbows, protectively keeping his weight off me.
I dropped my legs to his sides with a sigh of contentment as my speeding heartbeat calmed. I ran my hand up and down his taut back. “That was…”
He dropped his forehead to mine. “I know.”
I grinned.
He pecked my nose, gently slid out, then rose from the bed. “Be right back.” When he returned from the bathroom, he’d cleaned up. Using a warm, wet washcloth, he gently took care of me, and my heart melted.
He tossed the damp cloth to the floor, climbed back into bed, and the tough, gruff, reticent man spooned me. He was such a marshmallow.
But a casual date didn’t spoon and hold me close, pressing little kisses along my neck like Bowen was doing. We were fooling ourselves if we thought we could fall into bed without becoming emotionally involved. My heart certainly was at stake. Was his, as well?
My pulse pummeled my chest as guilt ate at my stomach. I had to tell him who I was.
But I’d bask in the afterglow before I potentially ruined what we had. I’ll tell him in a few minutes , was my last thought before I closed my eyes.
When I woke around midnight, he was gone.