12 good boy
My legs spread without me telling them to, creating a space for Gray to step up close.
My arms are draped around his thick shoulders before I realize it, and all I care about is the way his body pressed against mine.
He feels cool, like a balm; while I’m boiling so hot on the inside, I’m worried my skin will burn when he touches it.
The clinic doctor had warned me that presenting was almost like a mini-heat.
If this is only a taste, I shudder to think what the real thing is like.
But that’s a later problem. Right now, I finally have what I’ve been craving, and it’s all within my reach, taking up a disproportionate amount of space in front of me.
I’m not as big as my dad and brothers, obviously, but I’m not small. Out in the world, I grab things from the high shelf for people and never have enough legroom in buses.
Gray makes me feel small. Not in the terrifying way that Dad does, but like I’m something delicate and precious. I don’t want to want this feeling. But I can’t deny it’s soothing me from the inside out right now and already easing a little of the desperation that was haunting me.
His hands on me are gentle but firm, and he holds my waist like I might slip away from him at any moment. Which is stupid, because I’m not going anywhere. Dignity is well and truly out the window; we’re down to base want and nothing else.
“Gray, please,” I moan, for what feels like the millionth time.
His expression doesn’t change, though. He’s still looking at me like I’m a puzzle he needs to solve.
A horny puzzle at least, but a puzzle, nonetheless.
He’s calm, though. Radiating calm. If I could inject his whole demeanor directly into my veins, I would, but that doesn’t appear to be my lot in life.
My hands start to shake as he shushes me and reaches for my waistband.
We both shuffle a little, leaning my weight onto him briefly, until my pants are worked down to my thighs and my junk is exposed to the world.
The now-familiar sweetness of my slick fills my nose.
I’m making a mess of the counter-top, but that’s not important right now.
The only thing that matters is getting Gray’s hands on me and my hands on him.
I continue to touch the swells and dips of corded muscle that make up his ridiculous arms.
I whine a little, because I wish he was shirtless, but my brain lacks the ability to express that thought in words, apparently.
It’s enough of a distraction that it takes me a second to realize he’s looking down at my crotch and there’s no fucking fabric between me and reality anymore.
Panic surges up inside me. I don’t want to see what’s happening to my dick as I change, let alone have someone else see me.
Even if Gray has already seen the absolute worst side of me in the short time we’ve known each other.
Him seeing my very hard but now very-fucking-small cock is somehow more unmanning than the time he stuck his dick in my ass while I begged for it.
“No, no, don’t look,” I whine.
I’m flush with shame and embarrassment, but somehow my endocrine system hasn’t gotten the message, because I’m also still flush with desperate need and my cock is rock hard, practically quivering in the air, waiting to be touched.
Gray tilts his head to the side, and his fingers capture my chin so he can force me to look at him.
“‘Don’t look’, like you don’t want to do anything anymore, or ‘don’t look’, like you’re embarrassed?”
I don’t reply, but I can feel the expression I’m making—a very not-alpha pout—and that seems to tell him everything.
Gray lets out a small sigh.
“I know me saying these things doesn’t really get through to you. And I get it. It would be hard for anyone in your position, because the world puts all this shit in your head about alphas and omegas and masculinity or whatever. But with your dad… It’s a lot. I get it. But Tanner…”
He trails off for a second before forcing my chin back up again and holding my gaze firmly with his. I can see how light the blue at the center of his iris is, but so dark around the edges, and I want to dive into them like a fucking swimming pool.
“You are so beautiful, Tanner. I’m not doing this out of pity. I’m not even that nice a guy. You’re any alpha’s goddamn wet dream—new parts and all—and one day I hope you can genuinely accept that.”
Then he kisses me.
It catches me off-guard.
We’ve kissed before, but not like this. This is a deep, thorough exploration of my mouth. Which should be gross but is hitting just the right note of what I need at this moment. I’d choke on Gray’s tongue if it wouldn’t be humiliating.
Time seems to move syrupy slow, so I have no idea how long we spend sucking face before Gray’s hand returns to my cock. All this simmering arousal has chased away my shame; all I want is for him to touch me without reservation. As soon as he engulfs my cock in his big, warm hand, I almost choke.
Gray stops kissing me but doesn’t move back. He holds my head so we’re barely an inch apart, sharing each other’s breath, while he uses the other hand to work me over at an agonizingly slow and gentle pace.
I whine like a dog and chase his lips, but he doesn’t let me have them.
“Shh,” he whispers. “Just breathe. Relax and feel everything. You deserve this.”
I don’t totally understand what he means, but it makes me shudder anyway, and I find myself trembling a little with every inhale as he moves his hand over my cock in a loose grip.
It’s not enough. I need more. I need him inside me, most of all, because right now I can feel my hole practically gaping open, searching for something to be filled by. But Gray holds me still with his hands and his completely serene presence, so I do my best to obey.
“Good. Perfect,” he says, making me shudder again. “Just like that.”
Gray rubs his thumb over the slit of my cock and immediately, I feel liquid bead up and roll out. I’m getting pulses of pleasure on each stroke, and it’s building and building but it feels like the release is out of reach, despite how overwhelmed my body is with want.
He doesn’t speed up his hand. He doesn’t tighten it. He just keeps shushing me, and it’s taking everything I have to stay still and not fuck my hips up into his grasp, seeking my release.
Gray will give me what I need. That knowledge, even though it doesn’t make any sense, brings a kind of peacefulness to my mind that I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.
He has me. Literally, in his hand. I’ll get there.
I think he can see the moment I relax into the situation.
My muscles go a little more slack, even though I’m still panting and shivering as the arousal builds.
Gray smiles, and I fucking bask in it. Blood continues to rush to my cock until it feels so stiff and swollen I could burst, and every graze of his skin on me is electric.
“F-fuck,” I stutter out, my breath catching as the pleasure starts to mount up inside me. My stomach clenches, and my balls draw up like I’m about to shoot my load, but I’m not quite there.
“Gray,” I say, a note of warning in my voice, even though I have no idea what I’m warning him about. “Gray!”
“Shh,” he repeats, just as steady as before. “You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Be a good boy and let go for me. You can do it. Just let go.”
All that tension is suddenly back, and I feel so wound up that my release is out of my reach. I grip onto Gray’s shoulders tighter, digging my fingers into his shirt as my hips buck a little on their own.
I want to beg him to make me come, but the noise that comes out is just a desperate, fragile whine. Gray uses the hand on the back of my head to push my face into his neck so I can huff his scent. And still, he doesn’t speed up his strokes on my cock.
“Please, please, please, please,” I babble as he keeps shushing me.
“You can do it. Just let go.”
I don’t know how it’s possible to be this horny for this long and not be able to come, but it still feels out of reach.
I scrape my teeth over Gray’s skin so he’s the one shuddering for once, and the scent of his arousal thickens in the room. I know he’s trying to make this about me, but all I want is to feel him. To have him inside me, where he belongs.
Another whine comes out of me, louder this time, and I fidget in his hold.
Gray seems to know what that means, though, because he shushes me again and strokes my hair before sliding that hand down my back until he finds the humiliatingly wet situation that is my hole.
“So beautiful,” he whispers. “Just for me.”
Then he slides three fingers inside me with very little difficulty as he presses a kiss to the side of my face, and I feel like he’s surrounding every goddamn inch of me.
I come immediately. Like a firehose. My hole clenches around his fingers while my cock spurts cum into his hand, quivering in the air because he stopped stroking me but I don’t even need it. I don’t even know what kind of animal noises I’m making, and the whole process seems to go on forever.
By the time I’m coming down, I realize he’s still whispering the same sweet praise in my ear, and I have to fight back the sudden urge to cry.
The intensity eases inside me. But only a little.
My body is still crying out for him, only now I’m cum-drunk and can’t find the words to tell him properly.
“Please,” I practically slur, draping myself around his shoulders. “Fuck. Please, Gray.”
I shift my hips to take his fingers even deeper inside me, and I feel it everywhere when his breath catches.
“Please.”
I reach for his jeans with sloppy, uncoordinated fingers, but I manage to get them open, anyway. He’s ridiculously hard, which isn’t a shock but still gives me a little surge of pride, until he reaches down and gently pulls my hands away.
“That’s not what this is about, sweetness. Remember? I’m fine.”
I don’t even pretend I’m not pouting. I reach for his length again, but he holds me still.
“You don’t need to reciprocate. I’m here for you, and I don’t think we should escalate things between us until we’re both more clearheaded. No fucking.”
That sounds great in practice, but in reality, I need him to understand how much I feel like my body might tear itself apart if I don’t get more of him, somehow.
“Please, Gray,” I say a little more focused than I was a minute ago. “We don’t have to fuck but… I need more. At least come. I don’t want to come alone.”
Gray studies my face like there’s some hidden meaning there, until he’s eventually satisfied with what he sees.
“I suppose we can do that,” he replies before reaching down and taking his own cock in hand.
I can hear him jerking himself off, and the sound is truly something, but it’s still not enough. It’s not what I meant.
“No, I wanna see,” I say, putting my hands on his chest to push him back a little. “I want to see you.”
That makes him raise his eyebrows, caught off guard for once.
But even though he’s trying so hard to keep himself neutral—and I’d be impressed with his control if I wasn’t still so horny—I can smell the truth.
I don’t know how it’s so instinctive to decode the little shifts in his scent, but it is. And I know what I’m smelling right now.
Pure lust. Desperate, unadulterated horniness.
Finally. Welcome to my world, Gray.
“Alright,” he says with a dangerous little smile. “What a curious boy. Desperate to see an alpha cock up close.”
His tone is sultry, just shy of teasing, and I completely fall into my role here, biting my lip and looking up at him through my eyelashes.
I can unpack what the fuck I’m doing later. Right now, I have very limited control of my actions and absolutely no interest in exercising it.
Instead, I nod, still biting my lip as he stares at it until he eventually takes a step away from me.
“Alright, brat. You’re the boss.”
And then he starts to strip.