29 heat
“Atlas will be down to visit next week. He gets a week off between the end of his academy and the beginning of his probation year, so it sounds like a good excuse to celebrate. He says Alyssa wanted to come with, but she has some kind of a lab project something something—his words,
not mine—to do over spring break.”
Gray is holding his phone in one hand as he walks out of the bathroom, his toothbrush dangling from his mouth, so the words come out all garbled.
I’m already ready for bed, of course. All the meds they have me taking don’t have terrible side effects, but they do tend to knock me out at night. Which I’m a little grateful for. I’ve never been a good sleeper, and this is revolutionary for me.
“Do you want to explain why you talk to my brother more than I do? This is some kind of discrimination. I can feel it in my bones. Alphas talking over me or something.”
I’m smiling as I say it, and Gray takes the toothbrush out of his mouth to point it at me, mock-angry at the teasing.
“Know your place, omega,” he says before walking back into the bathroom to rinse and put down the brush.
When he walks back into the bedroom—our bedroom, I guess—he climbs under the covers and yanks me in towards his chest.
“I talk to your brother because you take 6-8 business months to answer a text message and you constantly put your phone where you can’t find it. Atlas appreciates my ability to answer promptly.”
I snort. “No, it’s because you’re always talking to each other about Battlestar Galactica, as if that show didn’t end nearly two decades ago, when Atlas wasn’t even old enough to talk. I didn’t even know he liked it that much but now you two have insta-bonded. It’s fucking creepy.”
“You’re missing out on the greatest television experience of our age,” Gray says, and I can feel the way he smiles against the back of my head as he says it. This is a ‘fight’ we’ve had before, and he knows I’m joking. Even if I am constantly surprised by the way him and Atlas have become friends.
“Motherfucker that is your age, not mine. Speak for yourself, old man.”
Gray laughs again, but doesn’t argue, instead choosing to press a series of gentle kisses up the side of my neck. There’s a pause, and I know he wants to ask me how I feel, but he manages to hold it in.
I’ve banned him from asking me how I feel. The first two weeks I was staying with him it started to drive me insane. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate all his support. There aren’t words to express my appreciation.
As much as I didn’t want Gray to baby me, or start off our relationship feeling super one-way, I did really need his help.
I was more of a wreck than I expected when they first started trying different medication regimes for me.
Everything was so up and down, everything had weird side effects.
Gray helped me keep my day-to-day pretty stable, as well as doing the lion’s share of the work in convincing school to give me a special dispensation to finish the year remotely for medical reasons.
I’ll have to go back up to take some exams at the end of the semester, but otherwise, I’m good to stay with him.
I’ve worked my ass off on his remodel to prove I’m not a complete waste of space. Which he tells me I don’t need to do, but I think he realized pretty quickly that I need something to do or I’ll go crazy. I’m not with him because I want to be treated like a pampered pet.
After some trial and error, we figured a lot of our shit out. It works.
We work.
And we’ve agreed to move to Last Ditch once the remodel is done, so we can put more distance between me and Frank. I haven’t seen him since the hospital, and I don’t plan to. Unless they ask me to testify against him in court.
This is the first time I’ve felt a sense of peace that I can remember, and I want to hang on to it forever. Gray and I have discussed it, and I think we’re on the same page.
Which is yet another reason that Gray wants to ask me how I feel, even though he’s not allowed.
The doctors have been gradually shifting my dosages, and they say my heat could return any day now.
I declined to have a medically monitored one, so they said they would try to ease me into it naturally and see if my body decides to play ball.
Any day now. I’m motherfucking ready to get this show on the road, no matter what it’s like.
I have Gray. It’ll all be okay. I know it.
I whisper I love you to Gray before we both drift off, like I do every night, now.
But this time I wake up after a couple of hours. This isn’t normal for me anymore. Something feels weird. Not wrong, but weird.
I blink some sense into myself, taking in the darkness behind the curtains and the still silence of the middle of the night. Gray breathes softly behind me, his breath hot on my neck.
No. It’s not hot. It’s weirdly cool, actually.
Because I’m the one who’s hot.
Fucking finally.
Just as I realize what’s happening, I get a familiar cramp in my stomach. There’s wet slick running down my thighs and my cock is hard, and Gray’s scent seems a thousand times stronger than usual.
He’s still asleep, but when I push my hips backwards into his, I can feel him getting hard. His body is responding to me in sleep before he’s even realized.
I don’t wake him up. I’m sure he’ll be awake soon, when he scents my heat enough. In the meantime, I push off my sleep pants so I’m naked and more comfortable, then close my eyes again. I want to hang onto the hazy feeling of unconsciousness as long as I can.
My arousal is a pleasant burn. It’s building, but it’s not desperate yet. I’m pretty surprised that I actually fall asleep again. I wake up maybe an hour or two later, and feel Gray starting to stir behind me.
His cock is rock hard and has slipped out of his boxers all on its own. I’m still steadily leaking slick, my skin hot to the touch, and instinctively pushing my hips backwards against him.
The tip of Gray’s cock is sliding against my hole as I grind, over and over. It pushes against my entrance, but doesn’t quite get the purchase needed to slip inside me.
The air seems to shift, and Gray’s face is pressed against the back of my neck, scenting me deeply. I feel the moment his eyes flutter open.
“Sweetness?” he asks, his voice quiet and sleep-rough.
I don’t think he’s even fully awake when his hands move to my hips and he starts to push into me. It’s all instinct. He’s sinking into me one inch at a time, and my body decides that this is the official go ahead for my heat to reach full boil.
“Alpha,” I moan, and it’s enough to snap him fully awake.
The first thing he does is moan as his cock slides that last little bit needed to sit inside me. His fingers dig into my skin hard enough that it would hurt if it didn’t feel so fucking right. And then his teeth scrape over the skin of my shoulder, making me shiver.
“Heat?” he asks, before pulling out just enough to hold me tight and drive himself back into me.
“Yes,” I breathe, still feeling out of it. “Fuck. Deeper, please Gray. Deep and slow.”
He hears me, and gathers me in so I’m layered against him, every inch of skin in contact that can be. Then he sets up a rhythm of slow, driving thrusts, each one hitting just the right spot inside me to make my body tremble.
My pleasure builds steadily, and I crest to an orgasm within minutes. Like I expected, it’s barely a drop in the bucket, though.
“Just like this,” I tell Gray.
I want this to go on for hours. That’s what my body is telling me it needs.
Gray buries his face in the crook of my shoulder to scent me again, and I feel him nod against my skin.
We continue like that for fuck-knows how long. Hours, I think. I shiver through one orgasm after another, all feeling like they’re previews of the real thing. My body grips Gray and holds him tight, while he moans and curses through his own pleasure behind me.
He calls me ‘sweetness’ and runs his hands over my body. I tell him I love him, and I want him inside me forever.
“We should do this forever,” he moans in my ear. “Just like this.”
I’m still hot, but it feels lived in, now. It doesn’t have the sharp-edged desperation of my heat before. Probably because I know where I am, and I know I’m going to get everything I need.
“Sweetness, I need to come,” Gray finally says.
His voice is completely wrecked. His knot has been swelling for a while, but my man has some discipline and he’s staved it off.
Once he says the words, though, it’s all I want as well.
“Yes,” I say, wiggling in his arms. “Come. Fill me up. Inside me, please. Take me. Forever.”
It’s incoherent, but it’s all he needs.
He keeps holding me close, but instead of long, languid strokes, he starts to really fuck. His cock drives into me hard enough to jolt my body forward each time, and my body starts producing more slick than I ever thought possible to ease his way.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I’m chanting, my cock hard and ready for release.
I’m a shaking, quivering mess when he finally pushes that knot inside me, locking us into place. My back arches, but he holds me tight as more cum spurts from my cock and Gray fills me up with a deep moan.
He flexes inside of me, moving as each new pulse of his release enters the deepest part of my body. Gray starts to move as well, punching himself deeper inside without pulling out. The pressure of his knot holds me locked to him, and a waterfall of endorphins and pleasure buzz through my body.
“Gray!” I cry, desperate for this one last thing.
“Yes, sweetness,” he gasps, before sinking his teeth into the flesh of my neck.
I’ve had more orgasms than I could hope to count since I’ve been with Gray. This is something different.
This is something so much more.
It’s pleasure, it’s pain, but the thing I feel the most is an incredible sense of completion. Our scents intertwine as our bodies join each other, and it’s as if Gray’s essence is filling my veins, while mine fills his.
We stay locked together like that for the longest time. I don’t have any desire to move, because for once, I’m truly, genuinely safe.