Chapter Twelve
He didn’t know what he expected to find, but Kuba was unsurprised to find Diesel’s things gone.
No doubt Diesel had stormed home and immediately grabbed his stuff.
Kuba knew if he went to Nova’s house, he would likely find him.
Unfortunately, there was nothing left to say.
He had gone too far, caused too much harm. There was no going back from here.
After confirming there were no traces left of Diesel, Kuba headed for the only place he could: the place where Kuba had shown his real self.
He had spoken the truest words to ever pass Kuba’s lips in this gym—he loved Diesel.
Diesel had said the words back. Diesel loved a lie.
Every word Kuba had spoken that night had come from the heart, except some of it was just him scrambling.
As Kuba had introduced Diesel to Chipper as his guard, something ugly had gnawed at his gut.
Kuba had desperately wanted to say Diesel was his with all the pride he felt.
Chipper was gay. He wouldn’t have judged Kuba.
It was Kuba. He was a coward. But as he had made that introduction, the truth had slammed into him.
He loved Diesel, and he had to find a way to keep him, even if that meant lying to him about why he had been such a pussy.
Kuba moved to the recliner and sank into the leather.
He hugged a throw pillow against his chest and soaked up the darkness.
A shadow moved in the center of the reflection of light spilling out of the kitchen and across the TV screen.
Kuba didn’t turn. He didn’t value his life enough to care.
Then his dad filled the other recliner. Here would come the disowning over being gay. His dad may as well pile on.
“You definitely take after me with the sulking in the dark.”
As much as Kuba wanted to argue he wasn’t sulking, he didn’t have the energy, and he was tired of lying. “Hey, Dad. I didn’t know you were in town.” His voice sounded like shit. He deserved it.
“I never miss your fights. You know, honestly, I’m surprised it took Dread getting into the cage with you four times before he threw the match.”
Kuba looked Krystof’s way. “I thought I was the only one who noticed.”
Krystof shook his head and relaxed deeper into the chair, going as far as to raise the footstool.
He made a tired sound that squeezed inside Kuba’s chest. While his dad wasn’t old, he also wasn’t getting any younger.
Kuba’s throat swelled. His mom was gone.
Diesel was gone. Nova for sure would never speak to him again.
Jayme could fuck off, but still, he was gone too.
It was only a matter of time before he would lose his dad too.
Kuba was sick of feeling alone and trapped by this life that had started purely on vengeance.
He had climbed to the highest position, doing everything needed to face Dread.
Kuba had wanted Dread to look into the eyes of the son he had abandoned and watch his career disappear.
His hands had ached to beat the life from the man who drove his mom to an early grave.
Now he was here with the man he should have been focused on the whole time.
This was his dad and Kuba’s stupid needs would drive him away now.
Being gay would finally be the nail in the coffin.
That was a weakness to be culled. No doubt his grandfather was rolling in his grave, frothing to come back just to sneer at Kuba, as if he hadn’t done that enough in life.
He sniffed. It was getting harder and harder to keep himself together. “I’m sorry.”
Krystof tilted his head and studied him. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t throw that match. I saw the determination in your eyes to beat him the right way.”
Kuba held his dad’s stare. He needed to have his say before Krystof walked away from him for good.
“I’m sorry I haven’t treated you like the father you are.
You’ve deserved better than you’ve gotten from me since Mom told me about Dread.
I love you. You’re my real dad. I should’ve acted like it.
Even though I’m sure it changes nothing in your eyes, I’m not seeing Diesel any longer.
You don’t have to worry that I’ll embarrass the family. ”
Krystof’s chest expanded as he visibly took a deep breath.
Kuba wondered if this was it. “It’s too bad about Diesel.
I watched the media day special they released on your life.
You haven’t smiled like that in years. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you that happy.
” Kuba didn’t get a chance to respond before Krystof kept shocking him.
“As for Dread, even your mom didn’t know the true story behind him abandoning you, so you might want to disregard whatever she told you. ”
“What?” The confusion was thick in his tone.
A kind smile touched Krystof’s lips. He nodded, as if the gesture was more thoughtful than a response.
“You knew your grandfather. He was a bastard. All he cared about was his career and appearances. Nothing mattered more to him than climbing as high in politics as he could. Not even his only child. Dread did not fit in the family picture by any stretch of the imagination. That didn’t stop Ana.
” Krystof’s face as he said Anastasia’s name shattered the rest of the wall he had built since she passed.
“She was a fighter and rebel. When she got pregnant with you, she was certain Leo would be so thrilled at the idea of a grandchild that he would finally accept Dread.” Krystof snorted.
Kuba snorted at the same time.
His dad flashed him a smile and continued his story.
“Anyhow, as you know, I came from the proper stock, as he called it. Ana and I had been best friends our entire lives. Our parents were in the same circles, and we were often left to fend for ourselves at social gatherings. I knew all her secrets. She knew mine. When Leo decided she would have nothing more to do with Dread, he put on his friendliest backstabbing face and called Dread to him to discuss the matter. He convinced Dread that your mom had been cheating with me and I was your true father. He really sympathized with Dread’s plight, but he honestly thought Dread should know before ruining his life.
After all, no man should get stuck raising another man’s child.
Dread vanished. Ana cried all the time. You were born, and she loved you fiercely, but still, she wilted. ”
Krystof held his stare without blinking.
Kuba knew whatever Krystof said next would be the truest words he ever heard.
“And I made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I lost the man I loved more than my own life because I was too scared to reach for him.” Krystof blinked and looked away.
If Kuba wasn’t mistaken, there were tears in his eyes.
He was too stunned by the confession to look too closely.
“Anyhow, we decided to get married and raise you together. We were best friends, so we knew we would be as happy as any married couple of our station. I didn’t find out the truth about Dread until your mom passed. Leo was well under the painting.”
A watery-sounding chuckle escaped Kuba, making Kuba realized he cried. “I don’t know what that means.”
Krystof smiled. “Sometimes I forget your childhood was nothing like mine. Thank God. He was drunk as a plum. Leo was crying and babbling about how Anastasia would still be alive if he hadn’t lied to Dread.
He was convinced he had killed her, since she was never the same after that.
I mean, he wasn’t wrong. I fully believed she mourned herself to death.
Dread was the one for her, and he had vanished.
I’d hoped our marriage would set us both free, but life rarely cares about your dreams. Anyhow, that night, Leo went on to say that Ana’s death was all his fault, and he spilled the entire story.
He was dead two weeks later, so I guess he got off easy.
Two weeks of guilt was hardly enough. But the damage was done, and the gentleman in me couldn’t allow Dread to continue believing I’m your biological father, even though you are my son in my heart.
Ana was gone, but I know I did what she would’ve wanted.
Unfortunately, I’m not as sure I did right by you. ”
Kuba had known he was adopted for as long as he could recall.
Krystof had never behaved like anything other than his dad, so it was easy to forget.
That was until Dread’s face was on every sports channel.
He was right here in the same town. His mom’s pain had been real and excruciating to watch.
The man had vanished, and then there he was.
Kuba had secretly wondered if Dread had moved here on purpose to taunt her, but he could never figure out why.
Well, now he had his why. No doubt Dread had wanted to toss his success in her face.
She had died believing the man she loved had abandoned her.
Well, now he had his hundredth reason to hate his grandfather.
Setting all that aside, Kuba had some shock to wade through with Krystof’s confession of his own life. “What happened to the man you lost?” Kuba knew his dad knew. He had too much money and power to ever be in the dark.