Chapter Fourteen #2
Jayme kept going. “I fully believed you felt the same, but your career meant more. Believe me, I absolutely wanted you to have every success you’ve had.
I’m proud as hell of you. It’s just that I really thought we felt the same.
Then Diesel came along, and he seemed genuinely fine with being your secret.
You fell in love with him and I don’t know what happened.
That’s not true. I was jealous and angry, but also sad because I realized you’d never be mine.
Not only that, but I genuinely like Diesel.
I think he’s great. He deserves better than you and all your endless hatred.
Eventually, he would’ve resented the hell out of you for hiding him.
You’d pull your shit of flirting with all the women and making dates just to uphold some dumbass image of masculinity, and he would be gone.
I might be a bad person for all that I’ve done, but you’re a terrible person too, Kuba.
You’re selfish and hardheaded.” An ugly laugh burst from Jayme.
“You’re definitely blind as hell to other people’s feelings.
Nothing matters one damn whit to you beyond keeping Dread humiliated. Diesel deserves better.”
Diesel couldn’t do a damn thing but blink. Whatever he expected from Jayme, it wasn’t that.
“You’re right.”
Diesel had to sit down. There was no place to sit.
“Not that you’re off the hook for anything, but you’re right.
I’ve let my obsession with Dread ruin everything in my life.
Diesel deserves way better than I’ll ever be.
But that won’t stop me from trying to be better for him.
I love him. There’s nothing I want more than his forgiveness.
If I ever get it, you can guarantee I’ll be showing him off to the entire world.
No matter what I’ve done to you to cause you to look at me the way you are now, that didn’t give you the right to steal my privacy and try to ruin my career.
That’s definitely some shit I never would’ve done to you.
That’s not something any real friend would ever do. ”
Kuba wanted to show him off to the world. Seriously, Diesel needed to sit down.
Jayme looked completely closed, except for his eyes. They screamed pain. Diesel didn’t want to feel sorry for him. Jayme had gone way too far, but this was still killing him, and Diesel hated that for him.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me.”
Kuba cut in. “Good, because I don’t think I can. Not right now anyhow.”
“Fair, but I just needed you to know I’ve never had anything except your happiness in mind.
Nothing I’ve ever done has been to hurt you.
If I hadn’t set you free from the cage you created, eventually, you would’ve ended up completely alone with nothing but your rage to keep you warm.
I want better for you, even if it’s not me. ”
Diesel couldn’t say the guy was a pussy. He had boldly owned up to his part.
“I appreciate your honesty.”
It hit Diesel. Kuba might be a totally different person when it came to Dread, but he was always levelheaded.
Jayme stood. “Well, I appreciate you hearing me out.” With that, Jayme headed for the door without meeting anyone’s gaze.
Diesel didn’t know how to feel, but he took the recliner Jayme vacated. For a moment, Diesel just stared at Kuba. Kuba looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. Sadness poured from him, clogging the air.
He took a deep breath and sat back. Diesel patted his lap.
Kuba popped to his feet and straddled Diesel.
Diesel snagged a nearby blanket that wasn’t usually there.
He wondered if Kuba had been sleeping in here.
After reclining the chair, Diesel covered them.
Kuba had his face buried in the crook of Diesel’s neck.
Diesel rubbed his back. “Close your eyes for a while.” He kissed Kuba’s shoulder.
“All this bullshit will still be here when you wake up.”
While Diesel had no clue what would become of them, he loved Kuba and he wouldn’t stand by while Kuba suffered. Maybe he was dumb, but he knew what he could live with and what he couldn’t live without.
The warmth and familiar scent caught him first. He burrowed closer, refusing to let go of the dream he held Diesel. Then a memory sneaked in, and then another. Holy shit. He was really holding Diesel. His head shot up. Diesel looked as if the jerky motion had woken him.
A sweet smile touched his lips. “Oh, good. You’re awake. I have to piss like a racehorse.”
Kuba scrambled from the chair, but he followed Diesel. He still didn’t have a clear head.
Diesel flashed a smile over his shoulder. “I prefer to do this part alone.”
Even when the door closed, Kuba refused to move.
What if he looked away and Diesel vanished?
Kuba couldn’t handle that right now. Then he heard the water running, and Kuba lost the battle against his bodily functions.
He raced to a different bathroom to empty his bladder.
With that out of the way, he washed his hands and splashed cold water on his face.
He tried to move as quickly as possible so Diesel didn’t escape.
The bathroom door was open when Kuba made his way back down the hall.
He picked up his speed. Thankfully, he heard rustling in the kitchen before he could have a full panic attack.
Diesel dug through the cabinets. “Damn. I’m out of tea.”
On wooden legs, Kuba moved to a different cabinet. “No. It’s still in here. Dad stayed over for a couple of nights and made some. I noticed he didn’t put it back in the right place but didn’t have the energy to correct him.” Kuba set the box of tea on the counter.
Diesel opened it. “Would you like a cup?”
Kuba lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “Sure.”
Diesel nodded but kept his gaze on his task. Kuba couldn’t stop staring at him. Diesel’s cheek curved into a smile. “You’re staring at me.”
“I’m afraid you’ll disappear if I look away.”
Diesel’s gaze flickered his way. “I’m not going anywhere.”
With a nod, Kuba moved to the table and sat. He didn’t want to make Diesel uncomfortable.
Diesel talked while he got the kettle going. “Thank you for the cruise thing. Mom was over the moon excited to tell Tory. Just let me know how much my half is and I’ll send it to you.”
“It’s all good. I’ve got you covered.” Even to his ears, the response sounded absent. “Has she been honest about Tory yet?”