Chapter 18 Rama
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Rama
Three months pass more quickly than I would have believed possible when I arrived in New York.
It’s because I keep myself busy at Thai Auto Exports where I’m doing my internship.
Determined to prove myself to the company manager, I work from sunup to well over sundown, skipping sleep and eating meals on the fly.
Pete and Alex have busy lives as well. On the weekends we talk, have meals together, and sometimes take in a concert, visit a museum, or attend one of Alex’s productions, but during the week it isn’t odd for us to never cross paths at all.
“You’re doing an excellent job,” my boss tells me one evening as I’m putting on my jacket to leave.
Surprised, it takes me a moment to reply. “Thank you.”
“I’ll admit I expected you to try to take advantage of your position as the CEO’s son, but you’ve surprised me. Keep up the good work.” He pats my back and walks out of the office.
As I clean off the desk, my stomach growls.
When was the last time I ate something? I take the elevator to the lobby and when I step outside the building, I suck in a deep breath of muggy night air and let it out, leaning against the building to wait for my Uber.
I’m exhausted. A rat scurries across the sidewalk to a pile of garbage near a dumpster, and in the distance a siren wails.
I miss Bangkok.
When my Uber pulls up, I settle into the backseat and check my phone. I’ve missed a couple of casual text messages from Pravat, as well as one from Chinda telling me our father’s driving her crazy. I suggest she spend more time out of the house.
My thumb hovers over the screen. My messages to Pravat have become few and far between, yet he doggedly keeps in touch with me. If I’m honest with myself, it scares me how much I miss him.
Something about this trip has left me ill at ease. Maybe it’s because I’m on my own so much of the time—I don’t know. But long-repressed memories have been stirring in my subconscious, giving me nightmares, and lack of sleep is beginning to take its toll on me.
Tucking my phone into my pocket, I stare out the car window at the bright lights of the city until they’re nothing but a blur. By the time the Uber reaches Pete’s building, I’m dozing, head resting on the cool glass window, and the driver has to rouse me.
My limbs feel like they’re made of sand as I make my way to the elevator and then to Pete and Alex’s apartment.
Pete looks up from the book he’s reading when I stumble in. “Rama. I haven’t seen you in days. Do you always come in this late?”
“Usually,” I say.
“I made lamb stew for dinner, but you’ve probably already eaten.”
I shake my head. “No. I’ll warm some up.” I head for the kitchen and spoon out some of the meat and vegetables into a bowl, then microwave it for a few minutes. Pete joins me at the table while I eat.
“Is Alex home?” I ask.
“Yeah, he’s already asleep. You look tired.”
“I am,” I say.
“You were gone when I got up at six this morning. It’s after nine now, and you skipped dinner. You need to take better care of yourself.”
“I want to do a good job at this internship,” I say.
Pete’s dark eyes search mine. “And when you get back? Are you going to work for your father?”
I shrug. I can see the years unwinding before me at my father’s company, endless and dull. “I don’t want to.”
“Maybe you can get another acting gig. You appear to be very popular among the bl fans. I’ve been following you on Tiktok. There’s a buzz about a season two for your series.”
“Probably just speculation,” I say.
“Hopefully, you can get some rest this weekend.”
When I finish my meal, I wash the dishes and tell Pete I’ll see him in the morning. I hear him puttering around the apartment as I get ready for bed, but as soon as my head hits the sheets, I know nothing else until the early hours of the morning.
I awaken to sun pouring over my bed. Stretching, I look out at the sparkling water of the pool several floors below, thinking a morning swim would be nice before breakfast. I slip out of my pajama pants and pull on my swimming trunks.
When I check my phone, I see I have a voice message.
I dial the number and listen to the mind-numbingly slow automated voice before the message begins.
“Rama, this is Tida. I hope you are doing well and enjoying your time in New York. When you have the chance, give me a ring. I want to talk to you about something.”
Sitting down on the bed, I call her back.
“Thank you for getting back to me so quickly,” she says.
“It’s good to talk to you again, P’Tida. I hope you’re doing well.”
“I am, thank you. How’s New York?”
We chat a few moments before she gets down to her reason for calling.
“We want to do a second season of the show. I’ve already spoken to Pravat, and he’s on board, as are the majority of the cast. Now it comes down to you.”
I swallow. So, they are planning a season two.
“So soon?” I ask.
“It won’t start filming until the fall, and it will be next year before the season airs. The fans are dying for it.”
Excitement bubbles in my chest as I realize I’m being presented with a way out of working for my father. And an opportunity to work with Pravat again.
“Yes, I’m interested. Thank you.”
“Excellent. I’ll be speaking with your manager later today, so I’ll give him the word. Please contact me upon your return to Thailand. October, correct?”
“Yes, around the tenth.”
“That will be perfect. We hope to begin filming soon after.”
Disconnecting, I send a brief message to Ace, my manager, letting him know I’ve agreed to a second season of My Doctor, My Love.
When I finish, I follow the sound of Alex’s laughter to the living room where he’s having coffee with Pete. Pouring myself a cup, I sit down with them and tell them about Tida’s call.
“That’s terrific!” Pete enthuses.
I nod. “I’m very pleased.”
Noticing my swim trunks, Alex asks, “Going for a swim? Wish I had the time to go with you, but I have a rehearsal in a couple of hours.”
Pete makes a face. “They’re going to rehearse the kissing scene.”
Rolling his eyes, Alex takes his boyfriend’s hand and squeezes it.
“You know you’re the only one for me, babe.
And we’ll probably skip the kiss during rehearsal.
” He glances at me. “It’s not like it’s all mapped out like Rama’s were with Pravat.
” I laugh. I’d told them all about New directing our kisses.
“It’s good to see you laugh,” Pete says solemnly.
“Come on, I haven’t been that bad, have I?” I ask.
“Pretty bad. I’ve been worried about you.”
I shake my head. “I just want to do a good job at this internship and then go home.”
“Have you ever thought that if you do too good of a job, you’re only getting yourself in deeper? What if the company wants to keep you?”
“Father wants me at home,” I say. “And if I don’t do well, it’ll make him look bad.”
I eat a couple of pieces of toast and head for the pool, which is empty this time of the morning.
After swimming a dozen laps, I stretch out on a lounge chair and let the sun dry me off as I scroll through my phone.
Seeing Pravat’s unanswered messages from the day before, I bite my lip and give into the urge to text him.
P’Tida called me about season two.
I tilt my face to the sun. A few minutes later, my phone pings with a message.
What did you tell her?
I smile, thumbs flying over the keyboard.
That I would do it, provided I get paid more than you.
In reply I receive a gif letting me know exactly what Pravat thinks of that. My laugh rings out in the quiet morning air.
I almost drop the phone when it rings in my hand.
“Hello?” I answer.
“I’ve missed talking to you.”
Goosebumps rise on my flesh that have nothing to do with the dampness of my skin.
Thrown off guard, I manage to say, “Me, too. I, um. I’ve been very busy.”
“Too busy to shoot me a text?” Pravat’s tone is teasing, but I sense his underlying hurt.
“I just…I…” At a loss for words, I fall silent.
“Out of sight, out of mind?”
“You’re never out of my mind.” I clamp my mouth shut. Oh, my God, shut up, Rama!
The line’s silent so long, I look at the screen to make sure we’re still connected.
“Half-way there,” Pravat murmurs, his tone somewhere between longing and sadness. A tremble runs through me, and I suddenly want to be beside him so badly I could cry. But then he peps up, launching into something about his art, sounding so natural I wonder if I imagined what I heard before.
“I can’t wait to see everything you’ve done,” I tell him. He asks about my work, and before I know it, the sun’s much higher in the sky and a group of chattering women are approaching the pool.
Gathering my things, I walk toward the entrance. I’m still talking to Pravat when I enter Pete and Alex’s apartment, so I put him on speaker phone so I can introduce him. When they fall into a conversation about theater, I excuse myself to pull on some clothes.
“Someone came to his door,” Pete tells me when I return to find they’d disconnected with Pravat.
Hiding my disappointment, I nod and begin making a sandwich.
“He seems like a nice guy,” Alex says.
“He is,” I reply.
“He said he hopes you’re taking care of yourself.” Pete hands me the lettuce from the refrigerator.
I glance at him. “I am.”
“Working too many hours and hardly sleeping or eating isn’t taking care of yourself.”
“I hope you didn’t tell him that,” I say, appalled.
“Well, you won’t listen to me.”
I cluck my tongue. “Now he’s going to worry.” I don’t want that. He spent years worrying about his family.
“I also told him you never have any fun,” Pete says unrepentantly. “Last time you visited, you went to the clubs with us.”
“Last time I visited, I wasn’t working,” I retort, sitting down at the table with my plate. “I shouldn’t have let you talk to him.”
“Aw, don’t be like that,” Pete says teasingly. “Alex and I have been worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I say through a bite of my sandwich. I might as well be eating cardboard for all the taste it has.
“You’re having nightmares,” Alex says, and Pete gives him a quelling look before turning to me.
“We’ve just heard you a couple of times.”
“Sorry,” I say, embarrassed.
Rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands, I suddenly realize how exhausted I am. By the time I finish eating and lie down on the bed, my eyes are drooping. Huddling under the comforter, I sink into a nap that lasts half the day.