Chapter 1 Rama
from In Love, Chapter One: Rama
"Cut!" The director's voice blasts from the speaker, calling an end to the scene.
Immediately, Mint pushes Two away from him, knocking the smaller man off balance, so that he has to steady himself with a hand on the wall.
Seconds before, the two men were the picture of romantic love, staring soulfully into each other's eyes, lips nearly touching, but now they stare balefully at each other, their mouths drawn up in sneers of dislike.
This abrupt contrast is something I've grown used to over the past few weeks of filming the sequel to My Doctor, My Love, the boys' love drama that tossed me into the limelight last year as one half of the popular Y-couple adoring fans have dubbed Pravma.
Catching the eye of Pravat, the other half of that couple, I raise a brow at him, and he gives me a subtle eye roll in agreement that Mint and Two are exhausting.
Tall and handsome with cut cheekbones, narrow eyes, and a sunny smile that has made my heart do crazy things since day one—even though he's a man and I've never been interested in men-Pravat Benjawan has become the center of my universe.
I might be worried about it if I wasn't so exhausted. Our filming schedule is brutal.
Due to numerous hold-ups, neither of us has slept in the last thirty-six hours other than a quick catnap here and there between scenes.
Yesterday I spent three hours filming a fifteen-second clip where all I did was button my shirt and cuffs.
By the time we got it right, I felt like I put in twelve hours of hard labor.
Nahm, our producer Tida's assistant, hands me a cup of steaming coffee, and I take a sip, mentally preparing myself for my next scene, which is with Mint.
On the surface, Mint's an okay guy, but the blatant homophobia he lets loose after every love scene with Two grates on my nerves.
It's as though he has to remind everyone that he's only in this for the money and the last thing he wants to be doing is kissing a guy.
The first time he wiped his mouth and made a face after a kissing scene, I was shocked and asked Pravat why in the world someone who feels that way would want to star in dramas that pair men together romantically.
"Because nothing can launch a guy's career as quickly as a bl drama," Pravat answered, adding with a small smile, "No one should know that better than you, P'Rama. There will always be actors like Mint, only in it for the glory it can bring."
Pravat's been in the boys' love industry for a while now and is used to its harsher side.
Nearly black-listed when his previous co-star outed him as gay, he considers himself fortunate that Hearts Productions took a chance on him with My Doctor, My Love, our first series together.
He's never confirmed his sexuality, though.
That would amount to career suicide in this industry where producers prefer their actors to be straight.
They say it causes more sexual tension and less drama, but someone only needs to look at Mint and Two to see it's a disaster waiting to happen.
Mint always leaves a good two feet of space between them, even when they're filming a kiss, and his animosity spurs a reaction in Two every time, inevitably provoking an argument.
I've heard Tida claim this animosity between them is why their fanservice is so good, but all it's going to take is one caustic look caught on camera, and it will all blow up in their faces.
A member of the crew takes my empty coffee cup from my hand, and I murmur a thank you, which earns me a deep blush from the girl. I search out Pravat again, who appears to be sleeping standing up, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed as the crew prepares for the next scene.
I cross the room and gently rest my hand on his arm, meeting those dark eyes when they open. I'm rewarded with a disarming smile and, lightly, I squeeze his warm flesh with my fingers before letting go.
Our lives are made of small moments like this.
If Tida were to find out we're together, she could claim breach of contract and fire us.
More likely, she'd keep us under constant supervision until the series finishes airing, and Pravat and I would be lucky if we got to touch at all off camera for the next few months.
Mint shoots me a cocky smile as he passes, and I follow him to take my place on set.
I miss Aran and Tait, the actors who played the secondary couple in season one. They've started their own spin-off series, and I miss their easy companionship, especially when watching Mint and Two's behavior.
Mint and I shoot the scene in four takes, and before Mint walks away, he gives me a bro-slap on the shoulder.
Standing from the couch where I'd been sitting during the scene, I teeter slightly, dizzy from lack of sleep and skipping lunch.
A hand clasps my elbow, and I turn to find Pravat's face only inches from mine.
The scent of him—something warm and spicy that I've grown addicted to over the past year and a half—envelopes me, soothing my frayed nerves at the same time it makes my heart beat faster.
"One last scene and Maha says we can quit for the day," he tells me, easing away when I'm steady on my feet.
I nod, wondering what day it even is.
Unfortunately, I'm not as lucky with the next scene as I was with the last, my tongue refusing to wrap around my lines and forcing me to do multiple takes of the same damned sentence with its scrutinizing close-up until I think my head's going to explode with the tension building inside it.
"Cut!" Maha says when I flub up the line yet again. "Rama, what can we do to help you get through this?" he asks. The man has the patience of Job.
"Twenty-four hours of sleep might do it," I mumble, rubbing at my eyes only to earn a deep sigh from the makeup artist, who rushes in to fix what I smeared with my fingers.
A member of the crew hands me a fresh cup of coffee.
I take a sip, then jerk when the hot liquid scalds my tongue.
I wind up spilling it on my hand and the floor.
This instigates a flurry of activity around me, and the poor girl who brought me the coffee is taken to task by Maha. She leaves the room in tears.
Rattled, I'm close to tears myself, and I struggle to find the energy I need to finish the scene. Feeling Pravat's gaze on me, I meet it and take a deep breath, releasing some of my frustration and exhaustion with it, centering myself.
When Nahm finishes applying ice to my hand, we try the scene again. And again—until even Maha's ready to scrap the whole thing and start over tomorrow. But I refuse to quit.
Pravat patiently goes through take after take with me until I finally get it right and we're able to move on. By the time filming wraps up, the sun is peeking over the horizon, bringing a rosy hue to downtown Bangkok.
Knowing I have to be ready to film again in only a few short hours, I drop onto the couch without preamble and curl up, almost immediately sinking into a deep sleep.
At some point, when my consciousness briefly rises to the surface, I'm aware of a warm body pressed against mine under a blanket before exhaustion tugs me under again.