Chapter 4 – Ava Jade
AVA JADE
T otal. Fucking. Jackass .
I grumbled wordlessly to myself through the last two classes of the day, barely able to focus on anything at all. At least fifty times the thought crossed my mind to just take off.
But even in the two classes I didn’t share with any of the Crows, their authority was ever present.
I didn’t doubt if I stepped one foot out the door of the classroom that somebody would be sending Corvus my movements. I’d already caught two seniors watching me. Guys who looked like they might be on their way to roles in the gang for themselves someday, if they made it through the trials.
If Diesel even deemed them worthy enough to take them.
I could get away though. I knew I could.
But did I want to?
Did I want to risk having to spend the rest of my life, or at the very least, the next several years running? Constantly checking the rearview? Only to possibly be dead before I could even hit legal drinking age?
Fuck. That.
They said there was no way out of this for me, but I knew of at least one. If I took them all down, then they couldn’t own me. I could trade their secrets for my freedom. Ruin them from the inside.
I had one card left to play, and it was nestled safely behind a wooden board in a dark and cobweb infested nook in my closet. Officer Vick would be happy to help me if I decided to take him up on his offer.
My phone buzzed audibly in my pocket a few minutes before the end of the last class of the day, and I clenched my teeth, glancing up from my blank worksheets to the teacher.
Mr. William’s gaze met mine for an instant before he looked away, ignoring the sound.
Huh .
I drew out my phone in full view, curious now.
A text flashed over the screen.
DICK FACE
Grey will be outside your class waiting for you. Don’t make this hard.
I rolled my eyes, not bothering to reply before slipping the phone back into my pocket.
Mr. William met my gaze again, his lips pursing before he went back to reading his book.
Not a coincidence then.
He really wasn’t going to take my phone or even reprimand me.
Perks of forced proximity with the infamous Crows.
I’d take it.
I’d take it all.
I stuffed my blank pages in the textbook as the bell rang and made a beeline for the door, eager to get back to my room before Grey could escort me there. I didn’t need to cement it in people’s minds that they owned me. Corvus already did a good job of making them all think that without my help.
“AJ,” Grey said as I breezed through the door, making me grind to a halt, a tremor of annoyance zipping down my arms, making my fists clench.
“Oh good,” I said on a breath, not letting my frustration show. “You’re here. Right on schedule. We’re going for a run.”
“What?”
“ A. Run,” I enunciated, giving him a dubious look. “You know, like walking but faster.”
“I’m starving. I thought maybe we could?—”
“You thought wrong. We’ll eat after. Hope you have some better shoes with you.”
I glanced down at his brown leather boots, the tongue flapping out, laces loose.
He’d never be able to keep up in those. Not that I cared.
I needed to run. Now. Before I exploded with all this pent-up energy and rage.
If Grey didn’t want to be in the blast radius, then he’d better shut up and go along with it.
Grey opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again instead, pressing his lips together as he swept a sarcastic arm toward the hall. “Fine. Let’s go for a run. Lead the way.”
We didn’t speak as I led him back to my shared apartment, changed and laced up my runners. Not even as we walked back down through the halls and out to the back gardens toward the trailhead at the back of campus, our shoes scuffing along tile and stone and eventually grass.
A little tremor of unease skated down my back, remembering the ominous messages from my would-be stalker still taking up space on my phone’s hard drive. I hadn’t run this path in weeks, but now, with Grey to accompany me, I supposed it was safer.
Perks.
I stuffed my earbuds in my ears just as he opened his mouth to say something.
I pointed at them with a false apology curling my lips into a frown.
“Sorry. Can’t hear you,” I told him as I hit play and broke into a jog, the crisp air in the shade of the matured trees already working small miracles on my nerves.
He kept pace easier than I thought he would in those boots. Laced up tight like he wore them now, I supposed they weren’t completely useless.
I kept my eyes ahead after that, trying my best to ignore the fact that he was there as I let the exertion, the wind, and the smells of the forest swallow me up.
The sounds of Lola Blanc’s Angry Too blared in my ears, distracting enough to keep my mind from wandering to bleaker territory again.
A smile curled my lips when I remembered that at any minute, Rook and Corvus could be noticing their missing door handles.
I held onto that little joyous tidbit, letting it propel me onward.
I thought for sure they’d have gotten a notification from the camera when I left earlier.
Actually, they might’ve. It was probably why they came looking for me, but they didn’t know that the pillowcase slung over my shoulder contained nearly every door handle in their entire house.
“AJ,” Grey said some time later, his voice barely audible above the song in my ears.
Maybe if I didn’t answer him he would shut up and stop ruining this for me. He better not be tired already. I was nowhere near finished.
“ AJ! ”
Fuck.
Moment ruined.
I stopped, tearing an earbud from my ear, heaving as sweat trickled down my back. “ What ?”
“Look, can we just…” Grey trailed off, a bit breathless, his dark green t-shirt stained darker from sweat around the neckline. His face pinched.
“Who is that?” he asked, gesturing to the earbud pinched between my fingers and the sounds of Primal Ethos’ Anthem of the Broken blaring through it.
I rolled my eyes. Of course he wouldn’t know who Primal Ethos is. He probably only listened to top 40 songs and whatever was playing on Virgin radio like his vapid bitch of an ex-girlfriend or ex-fuckbuddy or whatever she was.
My stomach soured, and I cursed myself for the wave of jealousy that sank deep into the marrow of my bones.
“You wouldn’t know it,” I barked, sniffling as I caught my breath, bouncing on foot to foot so I wouldn’t ruin my runner’s high. “That would require you to have actual taste in music.”
His eyes widened, lips parting on a reply that he didn’t bother speaking.
“What do you want, Winters?” I asked after another beat of silence. “You’re kind of ruining my high right now.”
He jerked his head back toward the path. “Come on, we can talk and jog.”
I growled, pissed that he fucked with my high, but was happy to start moving again at least. Grudgingly, I popped out my other earbud and tucked both of them into the pocket of my running shorts.
“I wanted to apologize,” he said, head bent to the earth, his jaw taut.
This surprised me enough that my own jaw clenched in response. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want an apology. I wanted my goddamned freedom back.
If I didn’t hold onto my anger, I would have nothing left to shield me, and I was going to need one heck of a shield for what was to come.
“For what?” I demanded. “For taking my freedom? For trying to own me? For locking me in that?—”
“For all of it,” he interrupted, his brows drawing together as he looked up at me.
I looked away. “You’re not sorry,” I muttered. “Your ‘apology’ isn’t for me. It’s for you. To assuage your guilt. Own your shit, Grey.”
“That’s not?—”
“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
“AJ...”
“Just stop, okay?” I stopped dead on the trail, forcing him to stop with me. “I don’t care if you’re sorry. Sorry doesn’t fucking help me.”
A muscle in his temple twitched and the sky above us rumbled, accentuating my anger. Beneath the shade of the trees, I hadn’t noticed how the sky had begun to darken. Storm clouds rolled overhead, casting Thorn Valley in a mottled darkness.
“Besides,” I continued, sighing, my runner’s high officially dead now. “I have a feeling it wasn’t you who locked me in that fucking room.”
He winced.
“Your brother has a control problem.”
He pressed his lips together.
“Or more like an asshole problem,” I muttered, more to myself than to Grey.
He brushed a hand through his damp blond hair. “You just don’t know him like we do,” he said, his voice softer now. “He comes across like a controlling asshole, and, well, he sort of is, I guess, but he’s also fiercely protective of us. He’s?—”
“I don’t care,” I cut him off, spinning on my heel to start the slow walk back toward Briar Hall, smelling rain in the air.
“Wait,” Grey started, snatching my wrist and pulling me to a stop. “Just give him a chance. Get to know him. I know he wants to get to know you.”
I laughed, a loud, howling thing.
“The bastard lost my blade,” I started, tugging my wrist away, but moving closer, letting him see the resolve in my eyes.
“Which he still hasn’t replaced, by the way.
He tried to blackmail me. Tried to own me.
And that’s not even including the fact that he’s unbearably controlling and a rude dickface.
I don’t give a fuck if he wants to know me. I don’t want to know him .”
It was a lie, I realized as the final words fell full of venom from my lips, and that only made me even more furious than I already was.
I threw my hands up, exasperated.
“It wasn’t just him,” Grey said quietly after a moment. “We...Rook and me, we did a lot of those things too.”
He was right, of course. The blame wasn’t all on Corvus, but for some reason he was the easiest one to hate, and I wasn’t ready to let go of that.
I tipped my head back, breathing deeply to soothe the waking darkness within. “You know what, let’s just get back.”