Chapter 18
Kendrick
Soft footsteps alert me to her presence.
Decker and I have been here since before dawn, trying to get our heads back in the game and physically recover from the days of stress and disjointed sleep. There was no point in trying to come home and sleep.
Our in-home gym is pretty damn impressive. It’s outfitted with state-of-the-art equipment, and Thomas replaces or swaps out machines each season based on our individual needs and the latest technology.
Technically, this is his house, even though we’ve all lived here since our senior year of high school.
When Nicky was set to age out of the system, the four of us came together and made this place our home.
Brenda and Gary would have loved to adopt him, but the boy was too smart to let that happen.
He has access to significantly more financial assistance and medical support from the state as an aged-out adult.
Living together was the logical thing to do. We usually ended up here on the weekends anyway, and both Decker and Kylian function better with the privacy and security the isle provides.
I’m finishing a set of heavy-ass squats on the Tsunami Bar when she turns the corner and comes into view.
When she stops in the doorway, I watch her reflection in the mirror and tip my chin to let her know I see her.
And fuck, do I see her.
Messy auburn hair. Sharp blue eyes. A smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose.
Either I’ve only recently noticed them, or they’ve developed since she’s been here.
Regardless, I find myself seeking them out anytime she’s near.
Like craning back to find the first star in the night sky after stepping outside.
She leans against the doorframe, arms crossed as she yawns and searches the room.
I know who she’s looking for.
Just like I know when she spots him where he’s sprinting full-out on the treadmill at the opposite end of the room.
“He’s gonna make you subscribe to his OnlyFans if you keep ogling him like that, Mama.” I toss her a smirk when she turns back to me.
She snorts, not even a little embarrassed by the disgusting sound she makes.
“Cap doesn’t have an OnlyFans,” she quips.
I bite down on my bottom lip and fight back a grin. “You tried to look him up already, huh?”
She pushes off the doorframe and waves one hand at me as she strides into the room.
“Didn’t need to look. Misty wouldn’t allow it.”
Yeah, Misty and Thomas would flip the fuck out if he so much as posted a personal photo on social media without the proper hashtags. No part of his life can be shared without their input.
With a sigh, she straddles the weight bench, spreading her fingers and pushing them into the cushion between her thighs before leaning forward.
“What are you doing up so early?” I ask. I force a nonchalant tone despite the worry creeping up my spine.
Deadpan, she watches me in the mirror.
“Thought maybe you needed a spotter. That looks heavy.”
It’s my turn to snicker. Damn right it’s heavy. Four hundred pounds, but nowhere near my limit.
“Be real with me, Jojo. You’re okay?” I check.
Kyl and Nicky took care of her last night. Though the implications of exactly how they coaxed her out of her panic and kept her calm during the storm make my blood pressure spike.
Not because her relationship with either of the guys or what they were up to bothers me, but because I wasn’t in the room with them. The Nest is a soundproof fortress that I wouldn’t dare enter without Kylian’s direct invitation.
I never had much interest in spending time there. Until now. Fuck. I only want to be wherever she is these days.
I want to hold some of her fears for her, wipe them from existence.
Support her while she works through all the bullshit.
She made it through last night, but getting through something and being okay are two different experiences entirely.
She survived Decker’s ambush, yeah. She didn’t lose herself during the storm, either, but that doesn’t mean she’s okay right now.
Wearing an even expression, she tips her head back, exposing the smooth skin of her neck as she considers me. Damn. She’s showing me she’s okay—She hasn’t said a word, but the message is loud and clear in the way she opens up for me.
But I’ve still gotta hear her say it out loud.
“So?” I press.
“I’m okay-ish,” she offers, giving me a halfhearted smile that feels genuine.
With a huff, I shake my head. “I don’t like that ‘ish,’ Mama. What do you need?”
Her halfhearted smile blossoms into a smirk.
“Bodily autonomy would be a good start.” She sits up straighter and pulls her shoulders back. “Maybe a way to keep big brutes from snatching me and taking me wherever they want, whenever they want?”
She side-eyes Decker on the treadmill, but he still hasn’t noticed that she’s here. He’s too focused on hauling ass, hitting a full sprint like he always does at the end of his workout. He won’t stop until our session is over.
Which, apparently, is now.
The alarm on my phone blares through the Bluetooth sound system, but he’s still in the zone, attention fixed on the treadmill’s control panel.
“Time’s up, Cap,” I call out, hopping up to rack my weights for the day.
His head snaps up at the sound of my voice. Then his eyes bug out when he spots Jojo sprawled out on the bench.
His stride falters, and he loses his legs, but before he can take a tumble, he smashes the safety and hops off. I spin to the weight rack to hide my smirk. I’ll let him think I didn’t see him almost fall off a damn treadmill.
It’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.
I see him. I see him working overtime to shapeshift and mold himself into what he thinks she needs him to be.
He hasn’t figured it out yet. But he’s getting closer.
And once he does…
She peers up at me again, dark lashes tickling her cheeks when she blinks.
I shuffle closer and bump her chin playfully with my knuckles.
“You’re tough, but you don’t have to keep that up all the time.
” With a step back, I pick up my towel and run it down my face.
“I’ve got to go into town for an infusion this morning, but I’ll be back by lunchtime.
I’ll be around all day after that. Come get me if you need me. ”
She tilts her head and opens her mouth, probably to dish out a sassy remark.
“Jojo,” I scold, hovering beside the bench she’s still straddling. “Promise me.”
She snaps her mouth shut and bites on her lower lip, distracting me from what I should be focusing on. Always so fucking distracting.
She’s in my head. She’s under my skin. I should hate it. Rally against it. But I’m tired of fighting it. All I want to do nowadays is let her in. Pull her in farther. See just how deep we can get—how far she’s willing to take this.
“I will,” she whispers. “Thanks.”
On instinct, I duck low and drop a kiss to her forehead, trailing one hand along her spine. “Be good today,” I tease.
I want her to be okay. Fuck, I want her to be more than just okay. I want her well. I want her back so I can have another shot at not fucking this up.
Reluctantly pulling away, I turn to the door and come face-to-face with a brooding Decker. He’s propped up against the doorframe, glare firmly in place and set on me.
With a final wave, I leave her in the gym so we can get on with our morning.
I’m prepared to part ways with Decker, hit the shower, and make sure Locke’s slow ass is awake and ready to go. He’s got an appointment at the medical spa today, too.
Decker has other plans, though. Instead of turning left and heading to his wing like usual, he stalks after me.
“So that’s a thing now?” he grits out when we step into the kitchen.
There’s a bite to his words. They’re dripping with jealousy.
His question raises my hackles and puts me on the defense, which I assume is exactly what he intended.
Running a hand over my tightly cropped fade, I look him in the eye.
“Would it be a problem for you if it was?”
He glowers at me like he can intimidate me—the big goon—but when I stare right back, square up, and cock one eyebrow, he drops his chin and turns his head.
If he’s not willing to answer, I’ll take the opportunity to make myself abundantly clear.
“It’s not a thing yet, but it’s about to be. You can’t expect me to believe you wouldn’t do the same in my shoes. You’re big mad that you’re not in my cleats right now, but I can’t help you there, Cap.”
Arms crossed over his chest, he focuses on something over my shoulder and gives me a derisive grin. “Have you talked to Kylian? Or Locke?”
I bite back a chuckle. Because, damn, there’s the rub. That’s why he and Jojo aren’t clicking. Why he may never be included in the dynamic brewing in the group.
He has control issues, and those issues are about to cockblock his ass so hard he won’t know what sacked him.
“I have not,” I offer, sauntering to the fridge to grab an electrolyte water. I hold out a second bottle to Decker, but he ignores it.
“Do you think you need to?” he challenges.
I slow blink, which is the opposite of the reaction he was hoping to pull out of me. “I think that’s for her to decide.”
I swear the faintest hint of steam billows out of his ears at my lack of reaction. “You’re honestly okay with her just stringing you all along?”
Cap. Poor Cap. No Cap. He’s still not getting it. Maybe he never will.
Sighing, I close the fridge door and head for the stairs. But not before looking over my shoulder and throwing one last truth his way. “I don’t think that’s what’s happening here, Crusade.”
I leave it at that. He’s got to figure it out on his own. Whatever that looks like and however much time he needs. He’ll either get there, or he won’t.
The odds are fourth and long, and he’s trying in vain to whip out a quarterback sneak when he could really use some play action.
His hostility won’t work. Hell, it’ll probably make things worse. But it’s not my place to coach him through this. Only he can make the final call where our girl is concerned.