Bonus Scene
Josephine
“Five more minutes.” Kylian tightens his arms around my stomach, anchoring me against his chest.
I smile to myself. I’m more than happy to acquiesce to his request. Safely wrapped in his arms, hiding away from the chaos of a post-game Crusade Mansion party is my preferred way to spend a Saturday night.
But there’s no party raging two floors below us tonight. In fact, the house is uncharacteristically quiet. With only the five of us on the isle, the whole place is shrouded in a sense of contentment.
Decker canceled the usual post-game party for the second week in a row. He canceled it again, and he did it for me.
“You need sleep.” I turn in his arms and press my face into his bare chest, giving myself a few more seconds to just be here with him.
He doesn’t sleep well when I’m in his personal space, so it’s in his best interest that I leave. Especially after such an intense game.
I slip my hand over his shoulder to the back of his head and scratch my nails over his scalp.
He shudders, so I do it again.
This time, though, he grasps my wrist and pulls my hand away.
“Too much,” he murmurs.
Breath catching, I recoil.
But he’s having none of it.
He draws my hands up between us and places my palms on his chest. “Here’s good,” he says.
“I’m overstimulated from the game. Having to wear that headset for hours makes me hyperaware of the tension in my neck and head.
I swear I can feel every individual hair on my head right now. Everything aches.”
My stomach sinks. I’m hurting him?
Shit on a crumbly cracker.
I’m used to checking in with Nicky about his pain, yet I’ve never considered checking in with Kylian.
Gingerly, I lift my hands off his body, careful not to add to his distress.
“No.” Frowning, he captures my wrists again and returns my hands to where he placed them the first time. “I don’t want you to stop touching me. I just needed an adjustment.”
Lip caught between my teeth, I peek up, searching his face.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he says softly. “I’m not upset with you. I just… I want you to touch me, but my sensory processing is fucking shot right now. I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with it tonight.”
My heart stutters in my chest. “Kylian.”
I reposition my body, but make sure not to let my hands wander.
“I don’t ever want you to have to ‘deal with’ something just to make me happy. I’m okay adjusting. Whatever you need. You just have to help me understand.”
He kisses the top of my head, then releases a weighted, weary sigh. “Thank you,” he murmurs into my hair.
“I’m going to go now.” I sit up slowly, careful not to jostle him.
“But you’ll be back up here in the morning,” he instructs.
I smirk, holding back my typical sassy retort now that I know he’s struggling so badly. Instead of teasing him, I dip in close and peck him on the lips. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Set your alarm now,” he murmurs, his voice rough with exhaustion, as I climb off the bed.
When I glance back, his eyes are already closed.
“The others want to leave early for the field trip to the godforsaken sand pit. I need you up here by seven so I can make you come at least three times before we go.”
Yes, Daddy, indeed.
I close the door to the Nest, then pad down the stairs that lead to the second floor.
All is quiet, but there’s a dim light shining under Kendrick’s door, so I rap my knuckles on the wood. When I hear a low “come in,” I push it open.
The only light in the room comes from the bedside table lamp and his phone. K is perched against the headboard, an ice pack covering one knee, smiling at his device.
His smile grows even wider when he looks up and takes me in.
“Hi,” I whisper, standing at the threshold, not wanting to interrupt if he’s busy or not up for company.
He says nothing at first, his eyes sweeping over me in a drawn out assessment. I’m still wearing Decker’s jersey, but I took off my makeup, brushed out my hair, and ditched the jeans I wore to the game.
The energy in the room shifts as he drinks me in, his soft brown eyes growing more heated the longer he looks.
“Get the fuck over here,” he finally growls, his voice shaky like he’s holding on to his last shred of restraint.
Grinning, I sashay to his bed.
He holds out one arm to help me up, and once I’m situated with my back against the headboard too, he tucks me into his side.
My heart does a silly little flip. A girl could get used to this.
“What are you doing?” I snuggle closer and shamelessly inhale his delicious vanilla-musk scent.
“I was watching highlights from the game,” he admits.
Leave it to K to give it his all on the field, then come home and start reviewing film before Kylian and the coaches can debrief.
“But I got distracted when I started getting messages from these two goofballs.”
He picks his phone up off the comforter and holds it where I can easily see the screen, scrolling through a string of messages, emojis, and selfies from his little sisters, Jade and Emilia.
Warmth blooms in my chest at the sight of them. “Look at their little matching jerseys!”
They’re both wearing number 24, Jade’s bows and Emilia’s beads perfectly coordinated to match LCU colors. I love his sisters. They’re twins, but they have such distinct personalities. Jade wasn’t my biggest fan early on, but she’s mostly come around now.
“They’re cute and they know it.” K chuckles.
With his forefinger and thumb gripping my chin, he turns my face toward him. He brushes one finger along the collar of my shirt, dipping beneath the fabric and tugging gently so I’m forced to come closer still.
“You know who I can’t wait to see wearing my name and number one day?”
He cups the side of my face, his gaze smoldering, and moves in close, his lips an inch from mine.
“Hmm…” I tap one finger on my cheek, fighting a grin. “Mrs. Lansbury?”
His eyebrows shoot up and he reels back a fraction.
“Watch it, Ohio.” Bracketing my hips, he lifts me and drags me over him so I’m straddling his lap.
He finds the hem of Decker’s jersey and works his hands under the fabric, his warm palms smoothing over my skin.
“Mrs. Lansbury? Pfft. Why you got to play me like that, Jojo?”
Head thrown back, I cackle. K takes the opportunity to tickle my sides, making me laugh even harder.
“Okay, okay!” I relent, desperate for him to stop the torture.
He eases up and pulls me closer, lifting his knees so I’m braced against his chest. Our bodies melt into each other, the playful moment transforming into something deeper.
“Right here, Mama.” He smooths his fingertips against my ribs, then drags them around to my back and wraps me in a hug. “This is what I want. What I crave. More moments like this, right fucking here.”
I loop my arms around him, reveling in the peace and tranquility this man brings to me. So much changed so quickly between us. But every moment together feels natural, like this was always how it was meant to be.
“I would be proud to wear your jersey,” I press a kiss to his neck and then his jaw, trailing my lips toward his mouth.
“You’re going to look so damn good, Mama. Whether it’s Crusaders red or the team colors for whatever comes next, I can’t wait to have you by my side.”
Whatever comes next.
A little thrill zips through me at the reminder.
What we’re doing? What I feel right now? It won’t fizzle or fade. There’s no escaping it. We’re in deep, thoroughly and completely committed. I feel so deeply rooted in my place here with these four men. Regardless of what’s next, it’ll be the five of us against the world.
“I can’t wait.” I kiss him gently, then crane back to search his gaze.
Despite the affection swimming in his expression, the contentment from a moment ago ebbs. Because though I don’t want to move from this spot, there’s something else I have to do tonight.
“What?” he asks, keenly reading the sudden battle in my mind.
“I would love to stay in here with you all night,” I hedge.
Understanding flickers in his expression. “But you aren’t done making the rounds.”
Cheeks heating, I avert my gaze.
“Is that it, Mama?” He ducks, catching my eye. “You’re leaving me to go say good night to your other boyfriends?” He squeezes my sides playfully, silently assuring me that he doesn’t mind.
Of course he doesn’t. He hasn’t shown even an ounce of jealousy when it comes to our non-traditional arrangement. Neither has Kylian or Locke.
“I want to catch Decker before he falls asleep,” I explain. “And I haven’t said good night to Nicky yet.”
He shifts forward, taking me with him, and kisses me hard. He sucks on my bottom lip, teasing my mouth open, and brushes his tongue over mine in slow, sensual strokes that leave me breathless.
My hips roll of their own volition, seeking the friction and hardness I crave. But he shuts it down quickly, capturing my hips and holding me in place.
“Get out of here before we get carried away and I don’t let you leave.”
A thrill works its way through me. God, he makes me happy.
Deliriously horny, but so damn happy.
Rising up on my knees so I hover above him, I rest my forehead on his and close my eyes. I breathe him in and commit this moment to memory.
I am here.
This is now.
And perhaps for the first time in my life, there’s no place else I’d rather be.
“Go on,” he chuckles when I make no move to leave.
Sighing, I kiss him quickly and dismount. “Good night,” I call back as I pull the door closed behind me.
I head to my bedroom next, where I pull off Decker’s jersey and change into a tank top and sleep shorts.
I fully intend to spend the night in Nicky’s bed—with my alarm set for 6:50 so I have time to pee and brush my teeth before reporting to the Nest—but I have one more stop to make first.
As I hit the bottom step on the main level, my nerves light up, blinking in rapid succession like fireflies over the lake.
By the time I pad through the kitchen and pass the media room, home gym, pantry, and study, I’m moving so fast I’m practically jogging to keep myself from turning around and heading right back upstairs.
I can do this. I want to do this.
“Decker?” I call out as I softly knock on his door.
There’s no answer, so I stick my head in and scan the room.
He’s not in bed, nor are the lights out. But I didn’t pass him on my way here.
I step into his space, careful not to disturb anything. I haven’t been in here since I found him in the bathroom puking his guts out after he took a hard hit a few weeks ago.
My gaze drifts to the en suite. That’s when I notice the wisps of steam pouring out from under the door.
Go figure.
I finally find enough courage to make the first move, and the timing still isn’t right.
I do a quick sweep of the room, unwilling to allow my journey to Decker’s wing of the house to be in vain. When I spot the notebook sitting open on his desk, an idea strikes.
With a page torn from it and a pen, I quickly scribble out a version of the message I wanted to give him tonight.
Next time, you can be the one to rip this off my body.
XOXO,Josephine
I fold up his jersey, place it in the center of his bed, and leave the note on top. Then I scurry out of the room without looking back.
Your move, Decker Crusade.
By the time I trudge back up the stairs to the second floor, I’m yawning so wide tears leak from my eyes.
Silently, I creep into Nicky’s room, not bothering to knock or announce myself.
We’ve reached a level of comfort that I can confidently say I’ve never shared with another person.
Although my relationships with Kylian and Kendrick are quickly reaching that level, my connection with Nicky is uniquely special.
He soothes the most fragile, broken parts of me without even trying. I feel whole when I’m with him. That’s saying a lot for a girl who thought she would stay broken forever.
I always expected I’d have to push down parts of myself, that I’d have to keep facets of my past buried if I wanted to be accepted by a partner.
That’s not true where Nicky’s concerned.
He never shies away from the pain or the rawness that I used to try so hard to hide.
I don’t have to fit a mold or change a single thing about myself to be worthy of his love.
I plug my phone in on the nightstand, then lift the covers and slide into bed.
“Hot Girl?” he murmurs, rolling over and reaching for me before I’m even situated.
Smiling, I lift his arm and drape it over my midsection. Then I wiggle closer, assuming the little spoon position.
“I’ve been waiting for you.” His words are stretched out, caught by a yawn, his arm growing heavy. Within seconds, his breathing slow once more.
I’ve been waiting for him, too. I’ve been waiting for all of them.
And now that I’ve experienced just how good it can be when the five of us come together, I’ll fight like hell to hang on and never let them go.