Chapter 12
Josephine
As the green numbers illuminated above the stove creep higher, I grimace. It’s almost midnight. I had no intention of staying up this late, but I won’t let myself sleep before I talk to Decker.
Finally, I hear footsteps down the hall.
Hopping off the barstool, I hustle in the direction of his wing of the house, intent on intercepting him between here and the weight room.
We need privacy for this, and with the plethora of cameras that have been installed, my options are limited.
He’s looking down at his phone, panting, but as I round the corner, he tenses. It isn’t until he lifts his head and spots me that he blows out a breath and lets his shoulders sag.
“Siren—” he starts, his brows jumping to his hairline like he’s surprised to see me.
I don’t stop walking. As I pass him, I catch his elbow, altering his path and forcing him to follow me into the pantry.
As soon as we’re safely inside, I kick the door closed and melt into his frame. I lace my fingers behind his neck and press my front into his broad, hard chest.
His hands find my hips and hold me steady for one breath, and on the next inhale, they pull me closer.
I’m hyperaware of every place our bodies connect, me leaning into him, him gently cocooning me in his arms.
He’s just finished his nightly workout, so heat radiates off his skin, and his breathing is still heavy.
Maybe he wouldn’t have to end each night sprinting on the treadmill and lifting to exhaustion if he’d stop cockblocking himself and allow things to naturally progress between us.
I bite back a smirk at the thought.
As much as I like pushing and testing him, there are universal truths I’ve accepted when it comes to Decker Crusade.
He believes his plans are for the best. They’re not always, but because he means well, because his true intention is always to protect me, I’m okay letting him think that sometimes.
A semblance of control brings him peace, and if anyone is in need of a little extra peace, it’s this man. Plus, I’ve learned from experience that he’s much more willing to compromise when he understands that I won’t fight him for control. Not when there are bigger issues at hand.
And what I need from him right now is bigger than my libido. By just a smidge.
“Hi.” I lean into him and rest my cheek on his drenched tech shirt.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He tips my chin up, searching my face with a frown, looking for some sort of problem to address.
He’s always on high alert.
He has to be.
I don’t want him to feel that sense of alarm with me.
Nodding, I close my eyes and breathe him in. Warm amber and sea salt caress my senses. His usual scent is amplified by the saltiness of fresh sweat dripping down his body.
“Josephine,” he scolds, grasping my arms like he’s going to peel my body off his so he can assess me more thoroughly.
“I’m fine,” I insist, gripping him tighter around the waist and tipping my head back so he can see for himself. I rest my chin on his sternum and raise both brows. “I just wanted a minute alone with you.”
Understanding registers in the inky black pools of his irises, and the harsh lines of his face soften. Though he doesn’t stop studying me like he’s looking for a buried truth.
“Hi,” I repeat. With a smile, I press up to tiptoes and kiss him on the lips.
He doesn’t kiss me back, but he does run his hands along my back until his palms rest against my low back and he’s pulling me closer. “You didn’t have to sign,” he whispers against my lips.
My response is a swift punch to his side.
He lets out a satisfying umph, although I know he barely felt my hit.
“That’s not what this is about, Cap. Can you just let us have a moment here? Just one minute?”
He sighs again, clearly exasperated. “I just want to make sure you understand that I didn’t know they were going to pull that bullshit. If I had, I wouldn’t have even—”
“Decker. Stop.” I pull back and run my palms up his chest. Pressing into his shoulders, I force him still. “One minute. Sixty seconds. One minute where it’s just you and me. No contracts. No lawyers. No outside world.”
“One minute,” he repeats warily, as if he can’t fathom letting his guard down for even the briefest of moments.
“One minute,” I whisper back.
And then I make the most of my sixty seconds in heaven with Decker Crusade.
On my toes again, I pepper his jaw with kisses, then trail my mouth along the muscles of his neck. His skin is warm and salty on my tongue. With a hum, I nip at his ear, then continue to savor every inch of skin I can get my mouth on before stopping at his lips.
I hover. I wait.
He exhales, attention roving over me. Then his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip.
It’s the consent I need. I dive in, kissing him with an intensity that he quickly matches. I moan into his mouth, captivated by the way he grips my face, positions me right where he wants me, and strokes his tongue against mine.
Most of the time, I’m well-matched against this man. Our stubbornness pairs well, and our tempers both run hot. It’s rare I don’t rise to any challenge he presents me.
But when Decker kisses me, I melt. All combativeness drains out of me as I inadvertently welcome his dominance and invite it to stay. The moment our lips touch, I’m done. Mindless. Needy. So fucking desperate for him.
I want nothing more than to be ravished and savored as his tongue explores my mouth, his hand grips my face, and he pours himself into the kiss like his entire sense of purpose in life hinges on stealing my breath and making me moan his name.
Too soon, Decker’s pulling away, rubbing his forehead against mine, shifting back into his broody, surly go-to persona.
“You didn’t have to sign,” he repeats, panting.
I press my cheek against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart as it hammers against his breastbone. With a kiss to his sternum, I look up and raise both eyebrows. “Why can’t you trust that I know what I’m doing? That I want to be here? That I want to be with you?”
He says nothing.
Annoyed by his silence, I huff. “Decker, I’m in too deep. I couldn’t leave now if I tried. There isn’t an alternative for me. I’m here. This is now. You need to accept that I’m part of this family, too.”
“I do.” It’s a growl, low and fierce.
Lifting my chin, I ready for battle. “I don’t see you trying to push the guys away.”
“They know the deal. They’ve been putting up with this for years.”
“And now it’s my turn. I signed the papers, Decker.”
He tips his head back and stares at the ceiling, anguish rolling off him in waves.
“You shouldn’t have had to.”
I press a hand flat to one cheek and wait until he’s looking at me again before I speak. “But I did. Willingly. Knowing all that it entailed.”
When he tries to look away again, I frame his face with both hands.
“I’d do it again. I’d do it every day from now until eternity if it meant I got to be with you, Kylian, Kendrick, and Locke.
Now is not forever. We’ll get through this.
Just promise me we’ll ride this out together.
This isn’t the time for you to play the hero or push us away to protect us.
You aren’t in this alone. We’re in this together. ”
My declaration is met with silence.
“Don’t let me down. I need you to be strong enough to let me in and let me stay.”
He bows his head low, running his nose along my jawline, but still, he doesn’t speak.
“Decker…” I hedge.
“I heard you.”
Heart sinking in my chest, I accept that’s all I’m going to get out of him tonight.