Chapter 15 #2
His words are mean. His expression meaner, and I feel my throat closing up.
The truth is that I’m with all of them but how do I say that without being what he’s calling me?
How do I explain what I have with these men without cheapening it?
The walls I’d loosened since arriving in Ocean Beach start to build up again, taking the air and light with it.
I take a deep breath and say, “If you shut up, I’ll go with you back home.
I’ll go on the trip. If you leave here and never come back again. ”
“What?” Nick shouts. Pete steps forward but Anita holds him back and says, “Summer…you can’t go with him.”
Mason looks surprised at my comment but smiles widely. “You mean it?”
“What the hell—” Whit charges forward. Maggie grabs his shoulder but he shoves her off. “You’re not going with this drunk asshole, Summer. No fucking way.”
“Stop,” I say, grabbing his arm. “You don’t get to make decisions for me. None of you do.” I eye Mason before saying, “Let me talk to him for a minute.”
“Summer, don’t…” Pete says.
“Look,” I say in a calm voice, “I had a life before I came here. I made stupid decisions, had a complicated relationship with a ton of regrets. You guys helped me work through that and it’s time for me to deal with the fallout.
I’ve been running since my mom and I hit the road.
I’m still running and I thought maybe I’d find peace here but I can’t, not until I deal with my baggage. ”
“You do not have to go with him to fix your life, Summer,” Nick says in a low voice. “We can help you with whatever went wrong. Just don’t go with him.”
Warmth spreads through my chest, bubbling around my heart.
These guys are so good and Mason is just proof that everything I touch turns to shit.
If I stay around here, things will get fucked up.
I feel the Pact crumbling. I see their focus drifting.
They wanted out of this place for a bigger world and every second I stay here, their lives get smaller.
“Thank you for treating me like family. I’ve always wanted more than just me and my mom, and for a brief moment you gave that to me. I’ll never forget it.”
I start down the steps and Mason follows me. Once we get close enough I see a couple of boats tied to the side of the dock. “Where’s your car and keys?”
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me who you’ve been screwing. Is it the muscle head? The surfer? The skinny townie or the college boy?”
“You won, Mason. And you were sleeping with your fiancé the whole time we were together. I don’t think you should judge who I’ve been seeing while we were apart.
” Although it’s dark down here, the only light comes from small lamps surrounding the dock; I can see the anguish on his face switch to a revelation.
“Oh, I get it. You were rebounding and slumming it with the townies. The exact opposite of me. Once we get to France, you’ll forget about them.”
“We?”
“You,” he corrects, grabbing my arm. “When you get to France.”
“Wait, you never planned on backing out of the trip, did you?” I attempt to jerk my arm away but he holds tight, grinning sheepishly.
“Once we get to France this will all be a silly memory, just a summer fling. You’ll forget about these red-necks and we’ll eat croissants and drink wine and it will just be the two of us again.”
His words, his actions are like a boomerang, ricocheting around my heart and mind.
Footsteps rumble down the stairs and Mason looks at the expression on my face, the guys coming and pulls me to him, grinning with a nasty smile.
“You want her?” he asks. I can smell the alcohol on his breath and I decided then I kind of do want one of them to punch him. Justin is close enough now to do it but just before he reaches us, Mason says, “You can have her,” and releases me.
The problem is, I’m too near the edge of the dock and he doesn’t just let go of my arm—he pushes me off the edge and into the water.
“No!” I shout, panic replacing all anger. I sink like a stone between the boats. My feet search for the sandy bottom, but the water is deep--dark--and fear grips me. It intensifies when something brushes my foot. I yelp. “Help!”
I can swim, I can, but the fear of the dark ocean water sends me into a panic.
There are sounds of a tussle on the dock, shouts and punches.
I’m too close to the boats and feel my back bang against the hull of a large craft.
I reach out but feel nothing but slippery fiberglass.
A splash rocks the water more and I bang against the boat.
My name drifts over the water, “Summer?”
“Over here,” I call, but it’s dark and shadowy and all I can see is dark, limitless ocean. My breath catches and I twist, looking to make sure nothing is near me. It’s too dark to tell.
“Stop moving!” Justin yells. His voice bounces off the boat.
“I’m not moving!”
You’d think I would calm down the minute he reaches me, but I don’t. Instead I start crying. Tears of fear and anger. “I’m sorry,” I sob, accidentally taking in a gulp of sea water. I cough and sputter, choking as he drags me to the dock.