Chapter 15 Greedy
Greedy
Though I know I shouldn’t, I once again study the results on my phone, only glancing up occasionally as I stalk down the long hallway that connects the primary suite to the rest of the house.
Why the fuck did I even click on the damn file?
Every time my mind starts reeling or fresh insecurity creeps in, my subconscious goes for the jugular.
It’s happened at least a dozen times today.
On the boat leaving the isle, when Hunter was on the other boat with Joey.
In the car at the marina, when she and Levi and Joey and her crew piled in to Kendrick’s Suburban and Decker’s G-Wagon to head to Lake Chapel University.
Then when I parked in front of the sciences building at South Chapel.
Every one of those instances happened before nine a.m.
I’m a glutton for punishment, apparently. I should just delete this file from my phone. Several times today, I’ve considered it, but I always chicken out. Some sick part of me wants to stare at the lab results showing that Hunter’s pregnant. Even if I know it’s not true.
I breeze past the butler’s pantry and the dark, empty home gym. The pantry appears to be vacated, too. That spurs a thought that, for once, I don’t want to push away. I wonder how I can convince Hunter and Levi to meet me in there for round two.
As much as I hate to admit it, the Crusade Mansion is starting to feel like home.
We’re together, and despite all the bullshit happening with Magnolia, we’re safe.
I quietly enter the bedroom, ready to unwind.
I’m anxious to be done with this day. My class load is lighter this semester—part of my plan to stave off graduation and stick around for another year.
I only had two in-person classes today, plus an unofficial workout session with some of the guys from the team.
My day will start earlier tomorrow. I didn’t bat an eye at the eight-a.m. lab when I scheduled it, but now that I live on an isle and my commute requires a boat ride and a drive to campus?
I huff, but quickly cool my attitude. The minor inconveniences of staying at the Crusade Mansion amount to practically nothing compared to the safety and security this place affords us.
A dim light is on in the en suite bathroom, but the door’s wide open, so I stride straight for it.
Inside, Hunter is standing in front of the double-sink vanity brushing her teeth.
From here, she can’t see me, but I can see her profile and her reflection in the mirror.
I take a minute to watch her, savoring the mundaneness of this moment.
Her hair is loose down her back, her posture casual.
Her hips sway slightly as she shifts from foot to foot.
She’s already in pajamas—a pink cotton set that clings to the globes of her ass.
There’s no hard exterior around her now. No faux air of loathing. No more need to keep me at arm’s length.
She’s safe. She’s okay. Right now, in this place and this moment, she may even be happy.
I rap my knuckles on the molding to get her attention.
Her eyes widen and find mine in the mirror.
The foamy toothpaste smile that lights up her face is equal parts adorable and goofy.
She squeaks when she catches her reflection and quickly spits and rinses her mouth. When she’s toothpaste free, she turns to properly greet me. “Hi.”
I stroll into the bathroom with purpose, and when I’m within reach, she yanks me into her body like she can’t stand the distance between us anymore.
Good. Me neither.
Crowding her space, I thread my arms low around her back and cage her against the vanity. I run my nose along her jaw, then place a kiss at the pulse point of her neck. “Hi.”
She melts into me, but it’s still not close enough. I tighten my hold and pour every damn ounce of desire and need coursing through me into the embrace.
It’s a heady combination, what I feel for Hunter. It’s lust and love, two passions personified and constantly at war for dominance.
Physically, I crave her, my body thrumming and aching to make up for lost time. I want to fuck her and claim her and make love to her like it’s my sole directive. She’s mine. I want to mark her and fill her up over and over again until she accepts it as her truth. That’s lust.
Then there’s the deeper desire beneath the surface.
I love her. My instinct is to provide and protect.
I want to be responsible for more of her foamy toothpaste smiles.
I want her to have everything she wants and needs, even if those needs extend beyond what I can offer alone.
Her happiness is my purpose. I want her to thrive in our polyamorous relationship.
She’s endured a lifetime without the love, care, or devotion from her family she deserves.
But the guys and I can give that to her now, tenfold.
I sigh into the crook of her neck. “Missed you today.”
One thing I won’t ever take for granted is how effortless it is to allow myself to be vulnerable with her. Now that there are no secrets between us, I couldn’t imagine not appreciating every tender moment we have together.
“I missed you more.” She presses a kiss to my sternum.
Her words dull the envy that spending the day without her has caused, though I’m still a little off-kilter.
“Levi came home beaming.” I drag a hand up her spine and find the tension near her neck, massaging it on instinct, eager to absolve her of any discomfort.
Sighing, she turns her head, offering me better access. With her cheek resting against my chest, she says, “He had the best day. I’m so happy for him.”
I tense. “I hate that I wasn’t there. With you. To see him in his element. I’m about to fucking transfer schools.”
Hunter’s responding laugh is breathy. “It’s just for the semester,” she reminds me. “Sixteen weeks. Plus, you have a lighter course load for spring, don’t you?”
With a grunt, I nod.
“We’ll see each other plenty,” she assures me.
When I say nothing, she cranes back and searches my face.
“Greedy.” She places a soft, tender kiss on my lips, then cups my cheeks. “We just have to get through this semester. If it helps, you and I can have some alone time each week. Tell me the day and time, and I’m yours.”
“Only mine?” I definitely don’t hate the sound of that.
“Only yours,” she promises, bringing her lips to meet mine once more.
I capture her mouth and lick along the seam of her pretty pink lips. Immediately, she lets me in. The minty taste of her sparks a tingle in my own mouth. I take the kiss deeper, gripping her chin to hold her mouth open as I feed her my tongue.
She kisses me back, the desire in the air around us skyrocketing as she finds the hair at my nape and tugs. Hard.
On a groan, I break away, then pepper kisses along her cheek and jaw before settling into the crook of her neck.
Gently, I lick and kiss the smooth skin below her ear. When she whimpers, I bite her and suck the pleasure point with abandon.
Mine.
“Greedy.” She tugs on my hair again. The sound of my name on her lips, all breathy and needy, makes me want to mark more of her.
I kiss a trail down her chest, between her breasts, and bite one nipple, then the other through the thin fabric, leaving them pebbled beneath her thin tank top.
As I sink to my knees, I smooth both hands up her bare legs and rest them on her hips, then dip my head to kiss the apex of her thighs.
Lust and love war inside me once more.
I want to lick her. Bite her. Fuck her with my tongue and shove my cock so deep into her cunt she doesn’t remember anyone else exists. Kabir who?
The deeper longing is there, too. The love that lives in my soul, the connection I had to shove down for so long.
I may be a possessive, horny, red-blooded man. But the soft, vulnerable, deprived romantic in me is winning the battle tonight.
With reverence, I lift my head and lock eyes with her.
Her smile is soft as she brushes my hair off my forehead. Every time she tugs on my hair or scrapes her nails against my scalp, I wonder if she knows.
No. I don’t think she understands just how desperate and unhinged I was when she left for Europe.
Slowly, without breaking eye contact, I flip down the waistband of her sleep shorts. I turn them again, and then I’m eye level with the smooth expanse of her stomach.
I place a kiss on her low abdomen, the place our baby once occupied.
“Greedy,” she murmurs, her voice rife with emotion.
I know.
I fucking know.
It’s torture to think of what could have been. To ruminate about what we lost. It was years ago, but grief doesn’t have an expiration date.
Kabir’s surprise announcement this week stirred up all sorts of feelings for me that had just begun to settle.
“I’m still mad at him.” My voice is low and gravelly as I fight back the tears that want to leak from my eyes.
She cups my head, pressing my cheek against her pelvis, and sniffles. “I know. You’re allowed to be.”
A lump lodges itself in my throat. “I didn’t get to know the first time, when it was real. Then to see those test results without being warned that it was all a ruse…”
With a growl, I push to my feet and scrape one hand through my hair.
“Do you think it’ll even work?” I demand.
Hunter’s not the enemy here. I know that. Yet I can’t temper the emotion brewing beneath the surface. We haven’t had a chance to talk, just the two of us, since the incident. I’ve barely begun to process everything I’m feeling.
With a sad smile, she shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. It’s worth a shot, I think. Spence thought of almost everything, and I trust that he has a bigger plan in place.”
Yeah. Another plan I’m sure he’ll refuse to share.
She crosses her arms over her chest and regards me. “Levi’s mom called today. Demanding to have lunch with the both of us, plus Magnolia. She wants to talk about the baby.”
The reminder that everyone assumes Levi is the father is like a punch to the gut. I understand why we’re going along with it, but dammit. It was supposed to be me.