Chapter 35 #2
Her breathing has picked up, the rise and fall of her chest noticeable as her stale breath warms my face.
“The ER doctor told me it was fortunate I was standing on carpet when I fell.”
I slip my phone out of my pocket and cradle it in my palm.
An eerie calm settles over us. Magnolia takes a micro-step forward. I have nowhere to retreat to, so I shift ever so slightly in response, trying to get her out of my face.
“They told me that I could have been in real trouble had I been on a hard surface. Or worse. Had I been near stairs.” She darts a look at the staircase only an arm’s reach away.
It all clicks, and panic lances through me, sharp and hot. Fumbling, I lift the phone, but in my panic, I fumble, and it slips between my fingers.
It hits the hardwood floor before soaring down the stairs, banging on half a dozen steps on its descent.
Magnolia watches the phone.
I watch Magnolia.
At the same time, we both move, and I try to scream once more. Nothing comes out. I can’t utter a sound. I’m struck silent with fear as she lurches forward.
She grips my shoulders tightly, and as I work to shrug her off, her nails dig into the tender spots between my neck and shoulders. I bend and twist and take a step back, desperate to get out of her grasp.
“Levi!” I try to call out. His name is no louder than a choked whisper.
“Shut up.” Magnolia squeezes harder. Her hands aren’t around my neck, but she’s clutching my shoulders like her life depends on it.
Oh. Shit.
She wouldn’t.
Would she?
“That boy only cares about you because you’re pregnant with his child,” she sneers, her grip never loosening.
Dread swirls violently in my belly. Dark spots dance in my periphery. Either she’s found a pressure point, or my body’s shutting down in panic.
I clutch the framed picture of baby Greedy to my chest, and with my free hand, I grope for something to hold on to.
I find the banister and grip it tightly, but a moment later, Magnolia homes in on my white knuckles and breaks into the evilest of smiles.
“You think he’ll still be attracted to you when your tits sag and your stomach pooches out? Don’t be delusional. I’ve seen the way the boy looks at your stepbrother. You may have tricked him into knocking you up, but he’s in love with someone else entirely.”
Someone else. Someone else. My heart leaps. Greedy’s here, too.
I open my mouth to scream for him, but before I can utter a sound, she slaps me again.
On instinct, I rear back. One heel slips off the top step and lands hard on the next stair, sending a jolt of pain shooting up the back of my leg.
“Darling. Our genes just aren’t meant for pregnancy.”
The sweetness in her tone startles me more than the slap. I search her face, desperate to read her. To figure out what she’s thinking. To piece together what just changed.
When I home in on her face, she smiles and lifts one hand. The other is still firmly digging into the side of my neck. She cups my face, then brushes her thumb along my cheekbone.
“You and I,” she whispers, “we aren’t cutout for motherhood.”
Understatement of the century.
“I gave up everything for you.” Her green eyes, so much like mine, darken, and the gentle hold she has on my cheek morphs into a burning grasp. Her voice drops, and she inches closer still.
I step back, steadying myself on the top stair.
“Yet here you stand. As bratty and defiant as ever. Refusing to help your own flesh and blood.”
There it is. She hasn’t mentioned surgery or the transplant all day, but it’s always there. The undertone will exist during every interaction we have for the rest of our lives.
“And to think,” she muses, a playful smirk tugging up one side of her mouth. “All that’s preventing me from having the life-saving surgery I need is that boy’s baby growing inside you.”
Her smile falls, and her eyes go hollow, the sea-glass green turning to the color of a bottomless swamp. All her features contort.
“Don’t,” I beg.
My heart thunders in my ears, and panic races through me, making my knees quake.
“Mom. Please. Stop. Don’t do this.”
Her expression remains flat, placid. Determined and unyielding.
She inhales.
The action reminds me to take a breath, too.
As she exhales, she releases her hold on me, takes a few steps back, picks up my largest suitcase, and charges toward me, using the luggage like it’s a battering ram to crash against my unsteady form.
When I exhale, I finally release the scream I’ve been desperate to make, clinging to the photo of the baby boy who grew into the man I love. I cradle it close, unwilling to let him go, knowing damn well I’m about to break his heart again.
Time slows as I fall, but there’s no stopping the events that are already in motion. The impact of the heavy suitcase, the way I careen back. It’s all inevitable. I close my eyes and block out the sensation of falling.
It feels too much like running. And that’s the saddest realization of all.
I promised them I was done.
I promised them I wanted to stay.
My back makes contact with the stairs, and a clunk resonates down the hallway.
Blinding pain lights up my insides. From my head to my toes, fiery agony burns through me.
It won’t last long. Soon, I won’t feel anything. I’ll feel nothing and be nothing, once and for all.
My fate is set. My future snuffed out.
I just hope they don’t regret me.
Greedy. Levi. Kabir. Sione.
I hope that when the loss grows stale and the pain of heartbreak dulls, they forgive me. For as many times as I left them, I hope they know that, this time, I was desperate to stay.
I hope they remember me. That they keep on loving one another. That they miss me when I’m gone. That they’ll think I was worth it, despite it all.
Because they were worth everything to me.
Another scream.
Another clunk.
It’s then I realize I’m not the only one falling.
The suitcase.
Magnolia.
We all go tumbling down toward the darkness. In sync. In harmony. As if this was always how it was meant to be.