Chapter Seven
Al
I sat at my desk, reading and re-reading the same damn paragraph in the paperwork in front of me, willing it to sink in. It wasn’t even a hard read: a basic incident report, minor property damage, student negligence. The kind of thing I could normally skim, sign, and forget in under a minute.
But not today.
Today, every time I finished the first line, my attention frayed before I could make it to the second.
Constant little interruptions didn’t help, either. A knock at the door, a student needing approval for a project, a faculty member dropping off another stack of paperwork like I didn’t already have enough to bury a body under.
By my sixth attempt to read the first page, the words had started to blur together into an irritating blob. I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my hand over my face, my cold coffee sitting untouched at the edge of my desk.
The door opened again, and I was ready to launch the cup at the intruder, but I paused as I registered Lai’s lavender hair and red robe. It was never a good idea to throw anything at the ex-assassin, not unless I wanted to be picking shards of porcelain from my skull for the rest of the day.
“Please tell me this is important,” I pleaded instead, waving my paperwork in his general direction, begging him to take it off my hands.
“It’s not.” Lai pushed my hand down. “I’m just here to judge you.”
“Judge me? What for?”
He didn’t even hesitate. “You fucked a car.”
I froze.
Oh gods. Don’t tell me Lai actually spoke with Fox.
But, then again, their talking might actually be a good thing. If Lai was standing here, alive and un-crushed, that had to mean Fox wasn’t too mad about the whole “ugliest Mustang” thing. Maybe they’d managed to talk it out; maybe Fox could be rational, and he could meet my family after all.
“The car fucked me,” I corrected with a sigh.
“And you didn’t resist,” Lai shot back, laughing as he moved closer, completely at ease in my space. He dropped into the chair across from me, lifting his cane and pressing the tip lightly against my chest.
I didn’t push it away, instead leaning back in my seat.
I let out a slow breath. There was no point denying the accusation; Lai knew what I liked.
‘Adventurous’ was the polite description; ‘reckless’ was the honest one.
The car wasn’t the weirdest thing I’d stuck my cock in.
It didn’t even crack the top three on the list of my questionable choices, but I knew it was only a matter of time before Lai started up the horse jokes again at my Mustang’s expense.
Look,” I said, trying to get ahead of his amusement. “I know it’s weird, but we just kind of clicked.”
Lai’s brow twitched. “That’s not helping your case.”
“I first saw him months ago,” I went on anyway, my words picking up speed now that I’d started. “On the dealer’s lot, and I knew I had to have him. I just didn’t know he was sentient: you know I don’t fuck anything that can’t consent. I never planned on–”
“You made him that way.”
Lai’s interruption broke my concentration again, my brain blanking for a moment in confusion, trying to work out what he was saying. “What? What do you mean?”
Lai leaned forward slightly, cane tip lowering.
He’s a Tulpa,” he explained. His tone was shifting, less mocking now, more clinical.
“Or close enough to one to be indistinguishable.” He tapped the desk for emphasis.
“You know this, Al, you’re the head of an academy for Gods in training, for pity’s sake.
Everything has a spark, a baseline. Don’t feed it, and it’ll never be more than just a spark. But you fed it.”
“I didn’t—”
“You did,” he cut in. “Day after day, you drove past that lot. You noticed him. You chose him. You gave him an identity as you fantasized about him.”
I stared at him, expecting a laugh, but he wasn’t joking.
“Al,” Lai continued, softer now but somehow more serious. “You are a God-maker. You can’t stare into the abyss of creation and then act surprised when something looks back at you. You remember the last time this happened, don’t you?”
My stomach dropped.
“The microwave,” I muttered.
Lai’s expression went flat. “Yes. The microwave.”
“I didn’t make that! It was possessed! It started a rebellion, remember? Klein nearly lost the whole kitchen!”
“Yes,” Lai snapped. “Because you insulted it every day for not heating your lunch evenly.”
I winced.
“And that,” Lai continued sharply, “was something you hated. This?” He gestured in the direction of the garage. “You wanted this. You obsessed over him. Lusted over him! For months! You drove past at the same time every day, ritualistically praying him into existence.”
I covered my face with both hands. Yeah. Yeah, that tracked.
“Oh, this is going to be so much paperwork,” I groaned into my palms.
“That’s your takeaway?” Lai sounded offended.
I dropped my hands, staring at him. “What else am I supposed to do?”
He leaned back, spreading his arms like he was presenting the obvious.
“What are you supposed to do? Congratulations! You manifested an undesirable Mustang model with an extremely unpleasant personality, and just like anything else you sire, you now have to raise it.”
“Don’t tell me I have to raise him, you’ll make it awkward,” I sighed. “And Fox isn’t as bad as the microwave.”
“He tried to kill me,” Lai said flatly.
“You called him ugly, and he’s proud.” I ignored the pain of the cane shoving into my breastbone. “Look, Fox just needs a bit of time to adjust.”
Lai stared at me.
I pressed on anyway. “He needs a run. Something to burn off the energy.”
Lai leaned forward again, slow and deliberate, eyes narrowing. “How,” he asked venomously, “are you planning to burn off two hundred horsepower-worth of energy?”
I opened my mouth, but I had no idea what to say. I knew I wanted Fox, and he wanted me. I just had to break him in before he broke me first.
“He needs to feel secure,” I offered optimistically. “He was on that lot for a while, and I think he just needs to be loved. Like a rescue dog. He needs time to adjust.”
“Al, look at me.” Lai was serious, worried.
“You got one of those rescues that can’t be around other animals, or kids, or, in your case, other cars.
Fox is going to chew everything you love into pieces if you leave him alone for even a second.
He’s got a temper, he’s dangerous; I hate to say it, but he’s probably better off in a scrap yard. ”
“No.” The word came out sharper than I expected.
Lai stilled.
“You don’t get it,” I said, leaning forward now, matching his intensity. “He’s not like that. I can handle him. Okay? He’s just—he’s…” I trailed off.
Lai raised a brow, waiting.
I sighed. “He reminds me of you when you were young.”
I moved before the sentence even fully landed, my chair rolling back fast, ducking just in time as Lai’s cane sliced through the air where my head had been a second ago. The wood cracked against the desk instead, sending my paperwork flying.
“How dare you?” Lai snapped, one knee on the desk now as he prepared to swing again.
“You can’t deny it!” I shot back, putting more distance between us, rolling further away. “Possessive, violent, jealous—”
“Oh, I’m going to kill you,” he hissed.
“See? Exactly my point.”
Lai narrowed his eyes, pupils thinning to sharp slits. “And you think you can break him?” He asked.
I didn’t hesitate this time. “Yes.”
“You’re going to die,” Lai said flatly.
I grinned. “Probably.”
Then I leaned back in my chair again, as that settled it. “But it’ll be a hell of a ride.”