Chapter Fourteen
Quinn
I park in Bram’s driveway, admiring the lovely dusty blue beach cottage. The reality that I’ll live here soon hasn’t sunk in yet.
If he ever proposes.
I thought for sure he’d propose by now, but he seems to be taking his time. Which in one way, is totally fine. I’m not ready for this. Yet, as bad as it sounds . . . I desperately need health insurance. Bram wanted to go with me to get my CGM, but I was embarrassed enough having him foot the bill privately. I didn’t want anyone to see him pulling out his wallet to pay for it. We aren’t married or even engaged yet.
Maybe he’s changed his mind but isn’t sure how to let me down. The thought brings a tightness and a wave of panic crashing over me. I push it away, shaking my head. No. Bram would never lead me on. Especially not after our date the other night.
My skin burns remembering the way he’d held my hand while we sat in his truck together. It had been hard for me to concentrate on our conversation with the way he’d been grazing his thumb over my hand. Then, when he brought me home, he walked me to the door and pressed a lingering kiss on my cheek.
“In case anyone is watching,” he murmured in my ear, his warm breath causing goosebumps to run down my arms. I’d been too stunned to react, but I’d dreamed about Bram that night. And every night since.
Exiting my car, I tug at the bottom of my yellow button-up, hoping I look okay. The sleeves are ruffled and hang to my elbow, adding a dressy flair to the otherwise casual shirt while also covering the device on my arm. It’s been hard to get used to the CGM, but it’s nice not having to stick my finger every few hours. Have I mentioned that I dislike needles? Though, I’m thankful I don’t pass out at the sight of them.
I wasn’t sure what to expect tonight but wanted to look at least halfway put together if it is the night he’s finally going to propose.
Grayson and Miles teased me about having another date while Ella complimented my outfit with a shy smile. She’s a sweet kid. Thankfully, Mom was off work tonight, so she could stay with Ella and Jovie since Lois and Chad were out doing whatever they wanted. Again.
I sigh, trying not to let the bitterness settle too deep as I push against the growing gap between Lois and me. One thing at a time.
Knocking on the door, I draw in a steadying breath to calm my racing heart. Bram greets me a moment later, a nervous smile on his face. His gaze appraises me from head to toe, causing me to squirm, as his smile softens. “You look beautiful, Q.” His eyes have that same glint they’d had when he picked me up for our date the other night. It’s not desire or passion, but I do think it’s a spark of possible attraction.
An elated flutter fills my stomach at the thought. My gaze flicks over him. He has on a burgundy plaid button-up, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off his muscular forearms, and a pair of slim-fitting jeans.
My heart beats a little faster, and I bite my lip, glancing away. “Thank you, Bram. You look beautiful, too.” Heat rushes to my cheeks, and I wish I could disappear. “Uh . . . I mean, handsome.”
Bram chuckles. “I’ll take beautiful any time.” He steps back, allowing me to enter. There’s a nervous energy to him as he leads me outside, and I gasp when I see the table with flowers and candles lit up. “You did all this?”
His face reddens, and I smile to myself. Clearing his throat, he nods. “Yeah. I thought it would be nice to have a candlelight dinner with an ocean view.”
The uncertainty in his voice softens my heart. Placing my hand on his arm, I reply, “This is really nice, Bram. Thank you.”
He serves chicken and vegetables along with sparkling water. We talk for a while, and I find myself growing more comfortable with him by the minute.
“How do you like the CGM?”
“It’s a bit weird getting used to it. But I’m glad to save my fingertips.” I wave my fingers in front of him, and he smiles. “I’m still in the overwhelmed stage of this. Some days, I’m okay. Some days, I feel resentful that I have to deal with this on top of everything else.”
Bram places his hand on mine. “I’m sorry, Quinn. That’s hard.”
My eyes fill, but I blink the tears away and draw in a deep breath. “It is. But I know it’ll be okay.” Biting my lip, I dip my head. “Because of you.”
“No. You would be fine no matter what. You’re strong, Quinn. A fighter. You won’t let this diagnosis beat you.”
His words of encouragement wash over me, and we enjoy the rest of our meal in companionable silence, listening to the waves of the ocean and the seagulls crying in the distance.
After I help him clear the table, he excuses himself, telling me to make myself at home. Five minutes later, he returns and reaches for my hand. “Will you come with me?” His voice quivers slightly, causing my heart to skip a beat.
I nod and slip my hand into his. My fingers tingle from the contact as I allow him to lead me to the living room. The lights have been dimmed and the room lit with candles. Tightness fills my throat as I try to swallow down the nerves. Even if we aren’t in love, this is the beginning of the rest of our lives, and I want to memorize every detail.
To my surprise, he picks up the remote and turns the TV on. For a moment, my heart deflates, thinking maybe I misread his intentions. Then, he lifts our joined hands and places a light kiss on the inside of my wrist that has my breath catching.
Stroking my hand with his thumb, he meets my eyes. “I know this has all been crazy and insane. And I know that you and I both have some fears about taking such a drastic step in our relationship.” He pauses and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear, freezing me. I thought Cyrus had all the charm in the family, but Bram is proving me wrong in every way. “You asked me on our date if you thought we were even close friends and the answer is, yes. And to prove it, I want to show you something.”
He presses a couple of buttons on the remote and the TV fills with images of Bram and me over the years. My hand covers my mouth as tears fill my eyes. They aren’t pictures of all of the Baxter and Jones kids together but so many of just him and me. Do I have as many pictures with Cyrus and Titus? Has Bram somehow edited these to look as if we’ve been together?
But I know he didn’t, because as each image flashes on the screen I relive the memory. I’m not sure why these memories have been buried for so long, but I realize the fears I’ve had about our friendship not being strong enough aren’t true. These images are proof that Bram and I are friends. Great friends, even. And the thought fills my heart to near bursting, overriding any doubt and hesitation I’ve been having.
As the last image fades off the screen, Bram lowers to one knee, still clasping my hand. He pulls out a box from his pocket and flips it open, showing a gorgeous sapphire stone surrounded by small diamonds.
“Quinn, I promise to respect, cherish, provide for, and protect you all the days of my life. Will you marry me?”
Tears slip out of my eyelashes. Goodness. I need a fan. He must have channeled his inner Cyrus for all of this. Maybe Cyrus helped plan it? No. This is all Bram, and it proves how serious he is about this and how much he cares for me. And that is enough.
I nod, and with hands trembling, Bram slips the ring on my finger. He chuckles. “Huh. Look at that. It’s a perfect fit.”
Standing, he opens his arms. I step into his hug, enjoying the way it feels to be held like this. When was the last time I’ve felt taken care of? An image of Dad holding me flashes through my mind. He always liked Bram, and I know deep in my heart he would approve of our marriage.
Bram kisses the top of my head, and I suddenly wonder what it would be like to kiss him. And not the chaste kisses we've shared for show. But to really kiss him. The thought makes my already racing pulse speed up and causes a swooping sensation in my stomach.
Stepping out of his embrace and working to control my features, I smile. “Bram, I don’t know what to say. Thank you for going to all this trouble for me.” I wipe another stray tear away and laugh nervously. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s not like we’re in love or anything.” That statement brings my soaring heart back down to reality. We aren’t in love. This is a marriage for me. So he can take care of me.
What is he going to get out of this anyway? I know he said he’d get me, but is that what he wants? Saddled to a woman he doesn’t love? Yet, I can’t back down now. And I’m surprised to find there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to.
“Quinn, it wasn’t trouble at all. You deserved a real, heartfelt proposal.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and purses his lips. “Are you still okay with all of this?”
I place my hand on his chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart, and look up into his eyes. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t,” I whisper, my throat suddenly dry. “But, Bram”—I hesitate, working to get the words past the thickness in my throat—“it just seems that . . . well, you aren’t getting much out of this bargain except a stack of medical bills.” A tear tracks down my cheek and Bram’s hands come up to frame my face. His thumb catches the tear as his stormy eyes bore into me.
“Quinn, don’t disregard your value. What am I getting out of this? I get to see what beautiful things God creates out of this seemingly crazy idea. I’m getting a friend to share all my meals with. Someone to come home to after a long day and relax with. A house full of laughter. A companion who shares my burdens when I’ve had a hard day. A partner who’ll help me prank Cyrus.” A half cry, half laugh escapes my lips as his thumb strokes my skin. “Having you in my life is what I’m getting, Quinn. And that is worth it to me. Okay?”
I nod, unable to speak.
His eyes roam my face, landing on my lips for a few beats before he glances away, his hands dropping to his sides. “Okay then, fiancée”—the corners of his mouth tugs up—“when’s the big day?”
I force my shoulders not to slump, reminding myself of everything this marriage will and won’t be. Did I want Bram to kiss me? Yes. And I don’t know why except his sweet words and earnest gaze have me feeling things. Heart racing, butterflies fluttering, warmth in my veins type things. In other words, Bram Baxter is making me swoon.
We spend the next hour planning a small, intimate wedding ceremony. Mom is going to flip out that we only have a week to prepare, but at least she’ll be able to see one of her daughters get married. Thinking of Lois causes the bitterness to return, but I shake it off.
I’ll ask David to walk me down the aisle. He’s always been like a second father to me anyway, and now, he’ll be my father-in-law. My lips lift in a smile. I’m not just marrying Bram. I’m joining the Baxter family. The family I already love as much as my own.
Mom, Lois, and Julie will stand with me as bridesmaids. Of course, Jovie will be the flower girl and the twins, Grayson, and Miles will be groomsmen. My heart melted a little when Bram said he wanted to ask Grayson and Miles to be groomsmen. They both look up to the Baxter brothers, and I’m glad they have such strong male influences in their lives.
Bram follows me to my car, giving me an awkward hug before opening the door for me. I hear a faint snort and glance over to see Mrs. Graham watching us from her rocking chair on her porch. Not creepy at all.
I’m pretty sure she is snorting at the awkwardness surrounding Bram and me.
Believe me, Mrs. Graham, I know. I know.
I’m trying very hard not to be disappointed in the lack of an engagement kiss from this man who will soon become my husband. I can’t even figure out why his not kissing me makes me want to cry as I slip into my car and drive away.
It will come. With time.
Lots and lots of time, prayer, and patience.