Chapter 6
My bath helped me feel a bit more human again, but the fog settling over my thoughts remained. I wasn’t sure why I was so bothered—why Miles’s absence weighed so heavily on me when everyone else seemed unconcerned.
I bit my lip as I towel dried my hair, the real problem becoming clearer. Everyone seemed to know more about Miles—about me —than I knew about myself.
Dr. Kohler had mentioned Officers studied our past lives, which meant there were books on the topic. Books that held answers about who I was, who I had been.
This passivity was suffocating. Being kept in the dark, having others make decisions about my life based on knowledge I didn’t have access to—it was driving me crazy. Even though I had lessons, it felt like I had a lifetime more knowledge to learn before being close to remotely prepared.
I wrapped my fuzzy pink robe around me and checked my phone. The usual check-in from Julian, Titus’s daily kawaii gif. Still nothing from Miles.
Not that I was honestly expecting anything.
There was no time to dwell on that, though. I had something to do.
Me
Sorry to bother you, but can I ask for a favor?
His response was almost instantaneous.
Brayden
Of course! What do you need?
I bit my lip, leaning against the doorway as I considered my words.
Me
Are there any books about me in my past lives?
There was no response this time—instead, my screen lit up, and Brayden’s name flashed across the space. I almost dropped my phone. It’d been awkward enough to text him, but now we were supposed to talk?
I hated talking on the phone. But it wasn’t like I could ignore him.
I put the phone on speaker and, stifling my groan, slipped back into my room. “Hello?”
Brayden cut right to the chase. “There’s a lot of books. Where do you want to start?”
I bit my lip and pulled at a lock of my hair.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe… something only I should know?”
“You mean Mu’s private diaries?” Brayden asked. “That doesn’t narrow it down much—he liked to keep records. What are you trying to find?”
“I don’t know…”
“Okay…” Brayden paused for only a moment. Then, the eagerness returned to his voice. “Let’s talk it through. What made you decide to ask?”
I pressed my cheek to the door and closed my eyes.
“Dr. Kohler told me that everyone studied us. It makes me feel weird, especially since I know nothing about Mu.” Brayden made a sound of understanding, but I wasn’t done.
“She told me that Miles… that leaving isn’t unusual for Tu. But I don’t remember anything.”
“So you want information on your personalities?” he asked.
“I guess?” I twisted the curl between my fingers. “I mean, I don’t know. What else is there?”
“Court history, politics, the ability classes, the reincarnation cycle, family trees.” The answers rapidly rolled off his tongue.
“That’s only what’s public. Then you have private archives.
They’re usually reserved for official use: your Officers, the Council, and yourselves.
Some letters get passed between generations, and the prophecies—”
“That one,” I said. I didn’t even feel bad for interrupting. The man was showing no signs of slowing down. Who knew how long this list could continue?
“Prophecies?” Brayden clarified.
“Yes.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.
“Okay. So which ones.”
I pressed my forehead to the door. “How many are there?”
“Over five hundred.”
What the heck? How was anyone supposed to learn all this?
“But that’s only what’s officially recorded,” he responded. “But, if I could suggest something to help narrow it down for you…” he added, tone slightly more hesitant.
“ Please ,” I replied, latching on to this reprieve.
“Why not start with the prophecy that would have the Council concerned?” he suggested.
I bit my lip, my throat closing. “The dragon babies?”
Logically, it was a good idea to begin there. After all, that was the prophecy that had ruined my life.
But there were other implications along with that as well. Mainly… dragon babies. Talking about it made it more real, and such a thing could only happen as a result of a sexual encounter.
With Titus .
While it was true I liked to admire him from afar and engaged in the occasional snuggle, it was possible to appreciate beauty without partaking.
“Bianca?” Brayden’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“Y-yeah,” I said, thankful no one was here to see my shaking hands. “Can you dig that up first?”
“Sure can. There are also some basic texts—how you’ve come to be, your relationships, and the creation of the Council. Do you want any of those?”
“Sure…” I rubbed my fingers over my forehead—I never would have guessed there would be this much. “Thank you.”
“No problem. And Bianca?” Brayden’s voice lowered slightly. “Thank you for asking me. That’s what I’m here for.”
My face heated, a warmth spreading through my neck and chest. No one had ever thanked me for bothering them before, and while I knew that technically I could boss him around, I never wanted to take advantage. “Y-you’re welcome…”
With a short goodbye, he disconnected the call, and I was left staring at my phone, my heart pounding a mile a minute as a warm feeling began to spread through my chest.
* * *
“That took longer than usual,” Finn remarked as I entered the kitchen. “I was beginning to think you drowned.”
Then why wouldn’t he make sure? “Thanks…”
“Why are you thanking me?” He turned from me, pulling the garlic bread from the oven. Sarcasm was still lost on him. When I didn’t reply, he added, “Whatever.”
Bryce and Damen were seated at the breakfast nook, and upon my entrance, Damen jumped to his feet and crossed the room in two giant steps. “Are you feeling better now, baby girl?” he asked, looping his arm around my waist. “Do you need me to carry you?”
What the heck ?
“Don’t carry me…” I furrowed my brows, craning my neck to meet his eyes. What in the world had gotten into him? “I’m fine.”
“Don’t be modest. You deserve to be pampered and spoiled,” Damen continued, raising my hand toward his mouth. My skin grew hot as he brushed his lips across my knuckles.
“Oh please, you’re making me sick.” Bryce was slouching in his seat. “Your game is easy enough to see through. You’re either terrified of Julian, and want to make sure she’s not actually sick, or you’re indulging in some nasty fantasy of yours. Remember, you have not earned my approval yet.”
Damen rounded on Bryce, eyes flaming. “I’m not doing either of those things! Are you saying that you don’t want to see her be pampered?”
“He didn’t say that,” Finn answered, pushing past us and placing the pot of spaghetti in the center of the table in a most unattractive display. I’d be shocked if the top of the wooden table didn’t have a scorch mark. “But you’re wasting your time. Bianca isn’t going to fall for it.”
I glanced between them. There was something about this conversation I wasn’t grasping, and it had to do with Damen’s flamboyance. “What?”
“Never mind.” Damen rolled his shoulders before he guided me to a seat next to his. “My pride can’t handle this discussion right now.”
His pride ? What in the world was I missing?
“Don’t worry about it,” Bryce said. He sat across from me and began to heap pasta on my plate.
“But,” I began, watching him as I slowly picked up my fork, “what about—”
“Bread?” he asked, holding up the long, serrated knife and gesturing toward the uncut loaf.
“Um.” I bit my lip.
What was he doing? Come to think of it, why was Bryce always the one serving my food during mealtimes?
Perhaps he was fulfilling some long-forsaken sibling daydream. Or it was some weird fae custom that I didn’t know about.
Oh well.
“Sure,” I said.
Bryce placed two pieces of bread on my plate, and I ate in silence while he, Damen, and Finn discussed school matters that meant little to me. By the end of the meal, it almost seemed as though Bryce and Damen were old friends.
I looked between them. They were getting along much too nicely now. I could only escape for the evening if I capitalized on their rivalry long enough to distract them. Together, they were more than annoying about not leaving me ‘alone’ lately.
As Finn began to clear the table, I knew I had to make my move.
“Hey—” I interrupted Damen. “Who won your last chess match? I wasn’t able to tell…”
It was true. They’d been tied before Damen threw a hissy fit and swiped his arm across the board, scattering the pieces across the floor.
“I did, of course,” Damen replied, puffing up his chest. “Why do you ask?” he suddenly blinked at me, leaning his face toward mine. “Were you impressed?”
I fought to keep my expression blank—this wouldn’t work if I hurt his feelings. That wasn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe my thoughts. It was more like… disappointed.
They both had room for improvement.
“Don’t lie,” Bryce said, pressing his forearm into the table. “I was about to beat you when you threw a tantrum.”
“You wish,” Damen replied, turning back toward Bryce. “There’s no way you could win against me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Um…” I began. “Why don’t you play again? That way, you can know for sure.”
“I already know for sure,” Damen growled, glaring at Bryce.
“Stop embarrassing yourself.” Bryce waved his hand. “Everyone knows you have no idea how to protect your queen.”
Damen flushed, shooting to his feet. “I dare you to say that to my face!”
“I am saying that to your face.” Bryce examined his fingernails.
“Let’s go.” The onmyoji made a rude gesture and pointed toward the door. His eyes sought out mine, expectation heavy in his voice. “Bianca, want to watch me kick his ass?”
Usually, I would love to witness Bryce’s defeat, but this…
It was like watching unskilled toddlers attempt to box. They really should be stopped for their own safety.
But this was all part of my plan.
“Why don’t you go ahead first?” I offered, twirling some leftover pasta onto my fork. “While I finish up here. Maybe I’ll help clean the kitchen.”