Chapter 20
Kathleen had made us a bed of blankets, and I crawled in. The warm shelter, the quiet, and the safe protection from the elements were much better than the cave. I fell asleep to the flickering firelight and the heavy scent of lavender in the air.
I woke up sometime later to the overpowering smell of bacon and eggs.
Miles was sitting at the small oak table conversing with Kathleen as she stood near the hearth, cooking over an open fire. “Where did you get this?”
“I killed a pig,” she replied, shooting him a look of forced patience. “How else would I get it? I also have chickens.”
His lips thinned, attention turning to the contents of his drink. “I just hoped…”
“That there was an easy way to get back to civilization?” she interrupted, crossing her arms. She still wore black, and her hair was in a thick plait down her back.
“You’ll have at least a four-hour walk back to the river—and that’s if you’re moving unhindered.
Your leg will slow you down. You’re lucky I had oregano left for a poultice. Your face, though, will scar.”
I clenched the blanket tightly over my chin as my heart thundered. That’s what I had assumed might—but hoped wouldn’t—happen.
“It’s okay,” Miles said, gingerly touching his face. “It was worth it.”
She pursed her lips as she studied him.
Miles lowered his hand and closed it back around his cup. “That place where you found us—the witch’s circle. Is it yours? How do you have the strength, considering?”
Considering what? I must have missed an earlier conversation.
“It is,” she said, returning to the iron pot. “I like my privacy. I’ve also set up other items to deter trespassers.”
“Like what?” Miles asked, curious. “The monster I heard earlier? What is it?”
“They call it the Snallygaster,” she answered, flipping an egg. “It’s half-dragon, half-duck.”
“That doesn’t sound very scary…” Miles began.
“Appearances can be deceiving. It’s an undefeatable creature—a manifestation of a wish that came to me in dream.
It cannot be defeated without first breaking the spell.
” She shot me a quick look and grabbed her skirt.
She used the bunched fabric to grab the pan and bring the food to the table. “Are you going to be okay eating this?”
It took a moment to realize she’d been directing her question to me, and—face flushing at having been caught eavesdropping—I sat up and held the blanket against my chest.
She was watching me expectantly. “I cooked with copper last night, but this was made in iron,” she said, nodding to the food. “Do you need me to use the other pot?”
“Um…” I touched the blanket to my nose. “It should be okay… Why?”
“Interesting.” She pursed her lips but added another plate to the table.
“You’re okay with iron?” Miles perked.
“Yeah…” Was this something else from a past life, or… “I have a contact allergy, but it’s not all that severe.”
“Really?” Miles frowned, and his forehead furrowed. “Do you still hate sardines?”
Sardines were the vilest food known to mankind. Why would anyone think it was a good idea to season tiny fishes and shove them in a can?
To make matters worse, my adoptive mother would make sardine sandwiches. If it weren’t for Finn ready to trade his lunch with me, I would have starved. She eventually stopped… but only after Dr. Kohler—known as Dr. Reed in those days—mentioned something about them being too salty.
Well, she wasn’t wrong.
“I guess that’s a ‘yes,’ ” Miles said, mouth lifting in the corner. “They say that Mu hated sardines. He once started a petition to ban them from human consumption.”
Good . Finally, there was something my alter ego and I could agree on.
“Fae don’t usually like salty foods,” Kathleen said as she limped to me and handed me a plate. “Gregory hates it. What about bacon?”
I stared at her. Mu didn’t like bacon? Well, that was too bad. I would die before they took my bacon away.
“We don’t always share exactly the characteristics between lives.
” Miles shrugged, sipping at his drink—a drink that I hoped to God was coffee because I had a caffeine headache that would soon become a problem.
“Our genetics and experiences play a role in refining our likes and dislikes. Like Julian being a vegetarian.”
“He wasn’t always?” I asked, nibbling at the fried bacon.
Miles shrugged. “Shui has never really cared before.”
“We have other past lives, right?” I asked as Kathleen moved back to the hearth. “Why do you only use the names of our first lives?”
Miles lowered the mug, eyebrows raising. “They were our first—and longest—lives and defined all the others,” he said. “Would you like me to reference the rest?”
“No thanks,” I muttered, looking away. “I don’t even know what that means.”
I could feel Miles’s frown directed toward me. But he didn’t understand; I didn’t care. In fact, I’d be more than happy to forget about Mu too.
“Maybe it’s time to move on?” I grumbled.
“Bianca?” he asked. “You can ask whatever you’d like. Kathleen would be more than happy to explain anything I don’t know yet.”
“It’s not important,” I said, letting my attention linger on the tiny window. Asking—knowing—made things more real. Instead of the past, my time would be much better served by focusing on the here and now—my current abilities, relationships, and connections.
How could I explain the lingering darkness clouding my thoughts when I reflected on my previous lives? Perhaps, for now, I was better off not knowing. I wanted to be normal for a little while longer.
My attempt to distance myself from the imp that was my past life failed when Kathleen cornered me shortly after breakfast while I was alone washing dishes in a rustic basin and water set up outside her cabin.
She sat beside me on the ground over the dried leaves. “Are you still going through with it?” she asked.
I lowered the ivory-colored pitcher before wiping my hands on my lap. “W-what?” My attention moved to her hands, where she was holding his pants.
Did this mean he was naked?
“Your plan,” she said, lowering her voice.
“Remember, you chose…” Her voice trailed off, and surprise flickered across her face as I met her eyes.
The fine lines on the edges of her pale lips deepened as she frowned, and her round face moved in sympathy.
“You don’t remember, even after I’ve set everything up. ”
“I don’t remember what?” My heart raced, and my shyness vanished.
Mu had a plan.
I knew it! Of course, there was a plan. My past self was a brilliant warrior who lived to save Damen’s previous incarnations from inevitable disaster. We would never do anything without a plan.
“Tell me!” I commanded. Now we were getting somewhere. This, I was interested in.
She shook her head, and my excitement diminished. “We Elders were children—and you never disclosed the bigger picture. But you did assign tasks you expected everyone to complete before your next rebirth into this form.”
I touched my mouth. Had I given directives? That was terribly bossy. I would never…
Actually, that was probably something I would do. There was nothing wrong with some delegation. After all, most people could benefit from a helping hand and divine guidance.
But still, who was ‘everyone’?
“Who did I—” I began, but she shook her head again, regret deeply etched in her face.
“I don’t know everything,” she said, smoothing Miles’s pants over her lap. “The Elder fae—Gregory, Dustin, and Caleb—have all been up to something.”
“Dustin?” I asked. I did not know of this Elder.
“Dustin Dubois,” she replied, tilting her head. “Your Elder Jiangjun.” When I didn’t reply, she answered. “He’s your paternal grandfather.”
Oh… I leaned back. Declan’s father.
The one that Bryce said wanted me dead.
“What was your task?” I looked at her.
She touched the chain around her neck, and my attention moved to the small, golden ring she’d begun to twirl between her fingers. It had a large stone that twinkled in the light, but I couldn’t place what it might be.
“Well, technically, you didn’t ask me to do anything directly,” she answered slowly, her focus drifting away from me. “I used to hide and watch you from a distance. You’ve always been intimidating.”
Yes, I could imagine Mu was intimidating. The man was a psychopath.
“But Gregory needed my help, and I needed his, so he asked me for a favor regarding his task,” she continued. “I agreed—and I’ve mostly upheld my end of the bargain—but I ran away before I could return it. However, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”
So—Dr. Stephens was the one I had to question. That was unfortunate. He was not very friendly and had, hopefully, only accidentally, almost killed me. I wasn’t in the mood to have a one-on-one with him again.
Maybe the boys would tell me.
“Does Miles know?” I wondered. Besides Damen, Miles was the worst at keeping secrets. And he was so easy to fluster. Everyone had a weakness.
“No!” Kathleen’s eyes widened, and she dropped her hand back to her lap. “Gregory said that your quintet wasn’t supposed to know. I’m not even supposed to know.”
Goshdarn it. I frowned as my one last hope disappeared.
I had no choice but to talk to Dr. Stephens.
“Don’t you work for Miles?” I glanced back toward the house. She was, after all, his subject. “Isn’t helping me a conflict of interest?”
She bit her bottom lip but didn’t answer my question. “I have a gift for you and something I need you to do.”
“What—” I started but paused as she pressed a small, white-pink stone in my hands.
“This is a hag stone,” she said. “It possesses properties that will help you later in your journey, and will allow you to connect with someone on other planes. I’ve no use for it anymore.”
I traced my finger around the heart-shaped hole in the middle of the stone, the chipped rose polish of my nails bringing out the scattered specks of color.
“What properties?” I asked, but she’d pressed Miles’s pants into my hands instead.
“Do you know how to sew?” she asked.