Chapter 22 #2
“Good. Because I need your help one last time.” He held up the potion, and his expression sterned as he said, “I’m going to do the spell. I need to drink this. I will be pulled into a trance. Since you’re here, I need you to keep an eye out.”
“For what?” I asked, pressing my fingers into the dirt. Did this mean he’d give me the knife again? I could find us a late-night snack—
“Not for wildlife.” He shot me a knowing look. “For me.”
I tilted my head. “What?”
Miles sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Look, this spell allows me to face my shadow self—to confront the parts of me that’d been holding back my abilities before so that I can more fully access Tu.
He’s…” Miles paused, mouth twisting, as he glared at the ground. “He can be a pain sometimes, so, well…”
So, he had similar issues with Tu?
He looked back at me. “You know how hard it can be. When they speak to you, it’s like being confronted by a long-forgotten friend.
You long to lean in to that feeling because, deep down, it’s familiar, and you know they’re a part of who you are.
But it’s also terrifying. Their presence challenges the way we see ourselves.
What if we can’t live up to that expectation? ”
The wind played with his hair as he spoke, and the wayward strands fluttered softly. “You’re afraid to fully embrace it,” he continued, his gaze distant. “You fear that in doing so, you might lose a part of yourself.”
“Miles…” I began, my chest heavy. I’d felt so alone—why didn’t I think someone else felt the same?
“But that’s exactly why we need to understand the differences and similarities between them and us,” he continued. “And to embrace the aspects that define the foundations of our personalities. We need to do our best, relying on each other, and our Officers, to guide us through.”
“We—” I began, and he looked back at me. “We’re not that much alike. Right? Titus couldn’t always have liked Hello Kitty .”
The corners of Miles’s lips lifted in a smirk. “Did you like the crown from the princess game?”
I sat back. I’d asked about Titus—why was he turning it back to me? But I answered anyway, “Yes…”
“You know that’s yours?” he continued with a shrug.
I placed my hand over my heart. What were the odds? No wonder wearing it felt so right.
However, there was a problem with this bit of information.
“What?” A surge of possessiveness raced through me. “Then why did Titus have it?”
“In fact”—His grin grew wider—“most of those pieces belong to you. You decided to let Jin—or Titus—safeguard your treasure.”
I pressed my lips together.
If that was the case, how did Maria get to my stuff? Titus and I needed to have a serious discussion about his security.
“And your phone,” Miles pointed out as he bounced his knee nervously. “Do you like that it’s bedazzled? Mu enjoys looking at shiny things.”
“Don’t say bedazzled .” My heart was pounding.
“But you also like dresses, lace, and the color pink,” Miles continued.
“Those were never things that he’d been drawn to.
There’s more—but there’s an example of your uniqueness that makes you separate from Mu.
We don’t need to be afraid of our past selves because they only enhance, but don’t define, who we are. ”
We…
He was trying to convince himself as much as me.
“You don’t want to face your fears,” he said with a deep breath. He looked at the glass vial placed on the ground between us. “I know exactly how that goes.”
“Is it dangerous?” I whispered.
He swallowed and nodded. “There’s always an element of danger when doing magic like this. But I have to try.”
I touched his arm. “You can do it,” I told him. “And don’t worry. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”
Miles POV
Bianca had a way of surveying my actions with reverence that, instead of triggering my self-consciousness, made me feel confident. Her actions had the same effect now, as she silently sat while I pulled a fire together and prepared my space, which made my movements feel fluid and assured.
As I sat in the cleansed circle across from Bianca, the growing warmth of the flames reached for us. I felt as though I could do anything.
I touched the cleared ground directly around me, allowing the pulse of the earth to linger over my palms before I began to draw a symbol in the dirt.
“What’s that?” She was sitting on her ankles, and upon speaking, she folded her hands over her lap.
“Runes,” I replied, continuing to write the words around me. The earth responded to my command, and the ground hummed under my skin with the promise of unwielded power.
The runes probably weren’t necessary, but every little bit helped.
“What are they for?” she asked. Her shoulders were tight as her eyes gleamed—she was clearly expecting something dramatic to happen.
I hated to be the bearer of bad news, but witchcraft rarely worked that way.
“Focus,” I told her. I looked at the innocent-looking bottle by my knees. “Now, all I need to do is to take the potion. Then it should work?”
I hoped.
“Are you asking?” Bianca’s forehead wrinkled at her question. “You said you were sure my blood—”
“It’s not because of you.” I frowned at her.
This was not the time to hesitate, but the fact that she still had doubts caused an unnatural wildness to rise through me.
This matter would need to be addressed sooner rather than later.
“Even with all the right ingredients, a spell also requires intent and confidence on the witch’s side. ”
I could do this.
“It’s fine.” I pulled off the cork. “No time like the present.”
“Miles…” She began to sit up. “I don’t—”
I uncovered the jar and swallowed the bittersweet liquid before her doubt transferred to me.
There was a stillness to the air, heavy with expectation, as the bottle fell from my suddenly numb fingers. But outside of that, I wasn’t sure what to expect. A tingle in my fingers? Anything.
I held my breath as Bianca leaned forward. “So,” she began, gaze wary. “Did it work?”
“Maybe?” I held my hand in front of me, studying my fingernails. My skin, however, remained unchanged.
I wasn’t even remotely dizzy.
Could Kathleen have messed up? I doubted it. And I was certain that Bianca qualified. So why—
My thoughts halted as my stomach lurched. The aftertaste was far worse than the initial drink.
“Miles?” Bianca’s voice sounded from the distance. She was scared. I should respond.
But my head was spinning, and the ground shook under my knees. The last thing I saw before the light was shut away was her reaching toward me and her terrified, unsure face.
The damp walls closed in around me, yet instead of fear, their presence was almost comforting. Shadows danced off the stalactite-laden ceiling, their motions animated by the blazing torches fixed solidly to the earthen pillars guarding the exits.
As I stood there, a mix of warmth and a chill coursed through me, a greeting from the earth and shadow that seemed to grasp at my ankles, drawing me deeper into this cavern. Although this was my first visit here in this lifetime, it felt like I had come home.
“I thought you’d never visit,” said a voice behind me. I turned and wasn’t surprised to see Tu.
His orange robes flowed around him as he stepped forward, and dark eyes swirled with the power of untamable magic.
When he met my eyes, his savage expression turned serious, and his gold earrings captured the firelight as he grinned.
There was a sense of foreboding, an underlying threat, as his teeth bared. “Do you think you’re finally ready?”
No.
“I have to be,” I told him. “She needs me.”
Tu scowled. “That’s not an acceptable response.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked him. “You know what happened.”
“I’m aware,” Tu replied, lowering his chin. The red mark on his bald forehead shimmered, and power swelled around us. “And we’ll have vengeance for her. However, you’ll achieve nothing until you release your lingering attachments.”
My heart stuttered. “I’m not giving her up.”
“That is not to which I am referring,” Tu responded. “You can’t continue to serve two masters. What will it be—duty or family? Step into your role, or abandon it for another calling. You must make a decision.”
“I—” I began, my pulse roaring. “I won’t give her up,” I reiterated.
I didn’t care about anything else.
Tu was looking at his sandaled feet. The ground seemed to quake beneath us. “Then you’ve made your choice,” he said, voice low. “It will be a difficult road, but you’ll be rewarded if you persevere.”
I frowned. I didn’t want a reward. I wanted Bianca.
“Then it’s time,” he continued. “Be ready to embrace your inheritance. I hope, for your sake, you both can withstand it.”
Wait. What?
I stepped back—this wasn’t supposed to happen. The potion was supposed to bring me closer to Tu, so that I could access him like the others could with their past lives.
What was this about ‘withstand’ anything?
But he’d vanished before I could ask. Darkness moved in, blanketing the ground and cloaking everything in the heavy night.
It fell over me, taking away my breath and thoughts. My throat closed as everything good in this world fell away.
Bianca POV
Miles had stopped dry heaving and flopped onto the ground in a dead faint. Usually, I would have gone to him, but the second he hit the ground, a stillness fell over the space, and his expression changed from disgust to peaceful serenity.
Perhaps he was in a pleasant place.
A brownish-tan light had slowly filled the finger-drawn runes, and the space around him was thick with an ethereal quality. The flames caused shadows to flicker over his form. He seemed to be sleeping.
If this was meditating, it was certainly more appealing than the options that Finn had given me. Plus, Miles was a lot more interesting to watch.
It was because I was studying him that I witnessed the moment his expression changed.
“Miles?” My skin tingled as I edged my knees to the outside of the circle.