Chapter 9 Atlee
NINE
ATLEE
The weekend went by much faster than I thought it would. When Devlin wasn’t doing weekend chores at the ranch, he was in his cabin with me. When my alarm went off, I wasn’t prepared, which is why I’m now staring at myself in the mirror, hyping myself up so that I can get ready to go to work.
The bruises have faded, and I’m trying to figure out if I can hide most of them with the makeup I have.
“Are you nervous?” Devlin asks as he comes into the bathroom. He’s wearing a white T-shirt and an unbuttoned pair of jeans. The ink on his arms is highlighted by the shocking brightness of his shirt, and I can’t help but reach out and run my fingernails along his skin.
“Yeah,” I admit, my voice small and quiet. “I’m dreading walking in there.”
“There will be a lot of fuckin’ feelings,” he grunts as he reaches out and wraps his arms around my waist, propping his chin on my shoulder.
The picture we make in the mirror is one I hope I never forget.
Even if whatever this is doesn’t last, I’ll have these memories.
“There will. I’m scared that I won’t be able to stay.
That I’ll walk in and immediately freak out before running through the front door.
What if I’m not strong enough for this?”
“You’re strong enough for it,” he whispers in my ear. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, and if you can’t do it? I’ll have the getaway car outside for you.”
I smile, and he answers the gesture in the mirror. “I do have a serious question for you, Devlin.”
“What, babe?”
He’s never called me anything like that before, and the warmth that spreads across my face and chest is visible by the blush that takes over my flesh. “I don’t know how to say this…”
“Just say it. I think you know you can tell me anything at this point.”
He’s right. We’ve moved far enough along in our relationship that I shouldn’t hide things, no matter if they’re hard to put voice to. “What if I’m not ready to stay in my apartment by myself?” I say the words quickly, without taking a breath.
“Then you come here,” he answers matter-of-factly. “You stay here for as long as you want. Do you have a car?” he asks, as if this is the first time he’s thought of it.
“I have one, but it’s broken down. I live close enough to the pharmacy that I can walk. So it’s like…” I wring my hands together. “I’ve lost that safety too. I’m not sure I feel safe enough to walk back and forth now.”
He reaches forward, grabbing my chin, tilting my face up so that our eyes meet in the mirror again. “I’ll take you until we can get you a vehicle out here. It’ll take me a couple of days, but you can stay here for as long as you want to.”
“I didn’t tell you all this so you would feel the need to fix everything for me,” I argue.
He grunts. “Fixing is what I do for the people I care about. Let me do this.”
For so long, no one cared other than Lennon.
It’s foreign for someone other than her or me to care about my safety and to make sure I have everything I need.
The people who should’ve been the ones to do that?
They never did, and now this big, amazing man wants to be the one to do it.
“Okay,” I agree. “I’ll let you help me. For some reason, I feel like I’m supposed to. ”
“You’re in this position because you’re meant to be here?” he questions.
“Yeah, that’s exactly it.”
He pulls me back against his chest. “Then I’m glad we both feel the same way.”
I take one final look at myself in the mirror, checking the concealer I’ve applied over the worst of the bruising.
It’s not perfect, but it’s the best I can do.
The dark purple has faded to a sickly yellowish-green around my eye, and my split lip is mostly healed.
I look like I’ve been through something, but I don’t look broken. That’s what matters.
“You ready?” Devlin asks from the doorway, keys in hand.
He’s fully dressed now, with jeans buttoned, boots on, and a flannel shirt over his white tee.
He looks good. So damn good that for a second I consider asking him to take me back to bed instead of to work.
Ignoring my responsibilities is so tempting.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I reply, grabbing my bag. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
Outside, the morning is crisp, the kind of early autumn day that makes you want to curl up with a blanket and a hot drink. Instead, I’m climbing into Devlin’s truck, my heart racing at the thought of returning to the place where I was assaulted.
Devlin starts the engine but doesn’t put the truck in drive right away. Instead, he turns to me, his expression serious. “Remember, you don’t have to do this today. You can call in, take more time.”
I shake my head. “No, I need to go back. The longer I wait, the harder it’ll be.”
He studies my face for a moment, then nods, satisfied that I mean what I say. “All right then. Let’s go.”
As we drive down the winding road from his cabin toward town, I stare out the window, watching the trees and pastures roll by.
Devlin reaches over and takes my hand, his much larger one engulfing mine.
He doesn’t speak, just holds on, his thumb tracing small circles against my skin.
It’s a small gesture, but it grounds me, reminding me I’m not alone in this.
“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” I say suddenly, needing the distraction.
He raises an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“Anything. Something nobody else knows.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, thinking. “I used to be afraid of horses,” he finally says, his voice low.
I turn to him, surprised. A giggle works its way past my lips. “What? You? But you work with them every day.”
“Exactly why nobody knows,” he says with a small smile. “When I was really young, I fell off one of the ranch horses. Got the wind knocked out of me. I was scared to get back on for months.”
“What changed?”
“Jesse,” he says simply. “He didn’t know I was scared, just thought I was being lazy, avoiding chores.
Called me a coward. Even back then, we were assholes to each other.
My younger brother has always been my biggest competitor and the person to push me to do all the things I need to.
” His jaw tightens. “So I got back on the next day.”
“And you weren’t scared anymore?”
“Oh, I was terrified,” he admits, his fingers tightening around mine. “But I was more afraid of my brother thinking I was weak. After a while, it got easier. Now I can’t imagine not working with them.”
I understand what he’s not saying—that sometimes you have to face what scares you, even when every instinct tells you to run. It’s what I’m doing today.
“Your turn,” he says, glancing at me. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
I think about it, trying to find something that feels right to share. “I used to dream about owning a coffee shop,” I say finally. “Not just working in one, but having my own place. With a little bakery inside and big comfy chairs where people could sit and read.”
“Why didn’t you?”
I shrug. “Life, I guess. My parents weren’t exactly supportive of dreams. And then I needed to pay bills, so I took the pharmacy job because it paid better. I got a scholarship to get my pharmacy tech license, so it was easier for me to take that opportunity. And now…” I trail off.
“And now?” he prompts.
“I don’t know. Maybe someday.” I look out the window again, watching as we get closer to town. “Do you think it’s stupid? The coffee shop idea?”
“No,” he says firmly. “I don’t think any dream that lights you up like that is stupid.”
We fall into silence as we approach Murphy’s General Store, where the pharmacy is located. My stomach clenches at the sight of the familiar storefront, and my hand tightens around Devlin’s involuntarily.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Look.”
I follow his gaze and feel a rush of emotion as I spot Lennon standing by the entrance. She’s not alone. Payton, my coworker, is there too, along with Joseph, my boss. They’re all waiting. For me.
“They came,” I whisper, blinking back sudden tears, my throat tight.
“Of course they did,” Devlin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He pulls the truck into a parking space and turns to me. “You’ve got a lot of people in your corner, Atlee. More than you realize.”
He gets out and comes around to my side, opening my door. I sit there for a moment, frozen, until he holds out his hand. “I’ve got you,” he says.
I take his hand and let him help me down from the truck. My legs feel shaky, but I make myself put one foot in front of the other as we walk toward the entrance where my sister and colleagues are waiting.
Lennon rushes forward, wrapping me in a hug that’s just this side of too tight. “You’re really doing this?” she whispers in my ear.
“I’m really doing this,” I confirm, hugging her back just as fiercely.
She pulls back, examining my face. “You look good. Better than I expected.”
“Thanks to him,” I say, nodding toward Devlin, who’s hanging back, giving us space.
Payton steps forward next, her usual energetic self. “We cleaned everything up,” she tells me, her voice softer than normal. “And Joseph rearranged some of the shelving, so it…it doesn’t look the same as before.”
I swallow hard, touched by the thoughtfulness. “Thank you.”
Joseph, who’s been my boss since I started and has never once shown much emotion, clears his throat. “We’re glad to have you back, Atlee. Take it easy today, all right? Short shifts this week.”
“I will,” I promise.
The four of them—Lennon, Payton, Joseph, and Devlin—form a loose circle around me, and I realize what they’re doing. They’re creating a buffer, making it easier for me to walk through those doors again. My throat tightens with emotion.
“Ready?” Joseph asks.
I nod, and we move forward as a group. As we reach the door, Devlin hangs back. I turn to him, questioning.
“I’ll be here to pick you up when your shift ends,” he says, his eyes holding mine. “You’ve got this,” he repeats his words from earlier.